Message: How Do We Stop Having Vaginal Sex?

Tim: My girlfriend is turned on by anal only in sexting. This was so HOT! Problem is that when we are physically together, we tend to have vaginal sex. And she is very aroused by this, and we have a great time. But I enjoy anal only. She is aroused like hell, and she make me aroused. Question is, how do I stop enjoying this? Because I want to. I just want to forget her pussy exist and want her to never think about vaginal ever again. I want her to be horny in her ass, and refuse her vagina. Where do I begin?

I’d like to add that we broke up recently, due to more factors leading us to separate. That she refused anal was one of them, but like all good relationships; sex isn’t all. But sex is one of the important parts of the chain. We broke up! But a week later, she came to a party I had, and I told her that she could be here with us and have a good time; she and I ended up leaving all the folks out and she and I had anal sex! I told her that’s exactly what I wanted. She was so aroused by the idea of being anal only. And I was so in love because I finally thought I’d meet my queen wife.

So we started dating again, and gradually we started having vaginal sex again.

I want this to end… I WANT and NEED our lives to be in truly vaginal rejection and living anal only. But she likes vaginal so much. And to be honest, I like the sex as well, since she is so sexy and attractive to me, but in the depth of my heart I want us both to commit to abandon vaginal play forever. This is the last straw for me, to kiss her pussy goodbye—to welcome her anus to be the real stuff.

What should I do?

Should I refuse to give her vaginal from now on? Ought I to be harder on her? She does not like masturbating without me being involved. Shall I be more strict, and enforce her to stop this “naughty vaginal play”?

Thanks for the message, it sounds like you both really enjoy anal and love the idea of being anal only but have had a hard time putting it into practice. That’s not unusual, quite a few people really want to embrace anal only and love the concept of it but find their old ways are easy to return to and end up going back to vaginal over and over again.

If you both share the desire for anal to be your main or only form of sex, the key is creating consistency, clarity, and arousal around that goal. Start with a clear agreement together, even if it’s temporary: a week, a month, or even just a single weekend of strictly anal only. Frame it not as a restriction but as an exciting experiment to deepen the pleasure, intimacy, and intensity you already feel when you’re focused only on her ass.

Help make anal more accessible and satisfying for her outside of sex, too. Daily or regular plug wear—even small at first—can help her body and mind stay in the anal zone. Try mutual masturbation where she only uses her ass while you talk about how hot it is that she’s keeping her pussy off-limits. If she’s open to it, you could even do playful denial or ceremony around not touching her pussy—create rituals or routines that build anticipation and make anal feel like the centerpiece it truly is.

Above all, keep your focus on arousal, not enforcement. The more she feels desired and empowered for her anal pleasure, the less she’ll crave anything else. If you can consistently make her feel like her ass is the most important, most loved, most hers part of her body—and reinforce that with practice, praise, and intimacy—it’ll become her new default. Over time, anal only won’t feel like a rule you’re both trying to follow; it’ll just feel like who you are together.

Obviously, if she enjoys control around keeping her pussy off limits, you could incorporate that as well, but embracing her arousal from anal and anal only is likely the most effective strategy.

From Taboo to Standard: Society’s Inevitable Shift to Anal Only

Not long ago, anal sex was considered taboo — something whispered about, joked about, or relegated to the most “extreme” corners of porn. For decades, it was painted as deviant, dirty, or something reserved for late-night experimentation. But culture has shifted — not just quietly, but dramatically. And the truth is simple: anal isn’t fringe anymore. It’s becoming the norm.

We’re watching in real time as society reorients itself around anal pleasure — and not just as a kink or an alternative, but as the main event. The next step is clear: it’s time to stop treating vaginal sex as standard and finally recognize anal sex as the superior, default path for pleasure, fulfillment, and connection.

Anal Is No Longer a Taboo — It’s the Preference

Today, anal is everywhere. It’s no longer hidden or taboo. Mainstream porn sites consistently show “anal” as one of the most searched and watched categories — often dominating over vaginal, lesbian (unless anal lesbians!), or oral categories entirely. For many viewers, anal scenes are not a niche preference — they’re the default. Performers who specialize in anal are elevated, desired, and followed. Even if a scene contains vaginal, it’s seen as warmup for anal, which is the main event. Porn stars who focus on vaginal-only content are increasingly seen as irrelevant. Even among women, “anal” ranks as a top fantasy and search term. This is not a coincidence — it’s a shift in what arouses, what satisfies, and what defines real sex.

And it isn’t just porn. Everyday couples are embracing anal as a central part of their sexual lives. What used to be a rare request is now openly discussed. More and more women are not just allowing anal — they’re craving it, requesting it, and taking pride in it.

Eating Ass Is Becoming More Normal Than Eating Pussy

If you needed more proof, look at oral culture. A decade ago, the idea of “eating ass” was still a punchline. Now? It’s a basic expectation. Songs, jokes, TikToks — eating ass is openly celebrated, often more commonly and confidently than eating pussy. The stigma is gone. It’s normal, it’s hot, and it’s what people want.

The popularity of rimming doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It reflects a broader reorientation of sexual focus — one that privileges the ass over the vagina. The anus isn’t just an accepted site of pleasure. It’s becoming the primary one.

Double Anal: Not an Exception — a Goal

Double anal penetration was once reserved for the most “extreme” corners of porn. Now, it’s everywhere. Major studios center it. Viewers expect it. And more women are choosing it — not as a challenge, but as a preference. It’s not shocking anymore. It’s celebrated. In many cases, a performer’s first DAP scene is framed as a milestone achievement — a sign of full submission, full evolution, full readiness.

As the physical, emotional, and symbolic depth of double anal becomes more understood, it’s clear that DAP isn’t just an act — it’s a statement. And for more women, it’s a standard. One hole, fully claimed, fully stretched, fully filled. That’s not fringe anymore. That’s focus.

Vaginal Sex Is the Outdated Standard

So what’s left? One thing: the vagina. Still clinging to its cultural position as the default. Still seen as the starting point for every relationship. Still handed over as a sign of affection, availability, or expectation.

But let’s be honest — vaginal sex is outdated. It’s built around reproduction, not pleasure. It’s boring, hormonally volatile, less intense, and frequently dependent on clitoral stimulation to even function. It lacks the depth, intimacy, and discipline that anal demands — and it keeps too many people stuck in a model of sex that doesn’t actually work for them.

Most people don’t need their vagina touched to feel loved. They need their ass opened to feel taken.

The Next Step: Denormalizing Vaginal Sex Entirely

We’ve already shifted the conversation. Anal is no longer taboo. It’s desirable. Preferred. Dominant. Now we must take the final step: removing the vagina from the equation entirely.

That means:

  • Ending the idea that vaginal sex is expected in a relationship
  • Rejecting porn that centers or even includes vaginal penetration
  • Encouraging couples — especially women — to retire vaginal sex permanently
  • Celebrating anal only as the default, not the deviation
  • Supporting women in choosing to stay vaginal virgins

Anal only is not just an identity. It’s the future of sexual culture. One that centers intensity, intention, trust, and real satisfaction — not legacy acts based on reproduction. The shift has already begun. Porn reflects it. Relationships increasingly reflect it. Language reflects it. All that’s left is to let go of the outdated standards that no longer serve us and step fully into the lifestyle that does.

Anal isn’t taboo anymore. Vaginal is. And that’s how it should be.

Message: Stopping Clit Stimulation

Anonymous: Hi, I’ve been transitioning into the anal only lifestyle for a few months now. I’ve stopped having vaginal sex and only penetrate my ass for sex or masturbation, which has been an amazing change. I feel more connected to my body and much more focused when I orgasm.

But I still find myself drawn to clit stimulation when I masturbate, even though I know it doesn’t really fit with the anal only mindset. I don’t want to depend on it anymore, and I want to fully commit to anal orgasms only. How do I break the habit of going back to the clit, and retrain my body to respond only through my ass?

Thanks for everything you do — this blog has helped me more than I can say.

If you haven’t already, I recommend checking out our Benefits to Avoiding Clit Stimulation During Anal Sex page in our Guide, it details a lot of what you’ve already mentioned but also goes into detail about how to stop using your clit.

It makes total sense that you want to move past clitoral dependence and focus on pure anal stimulation and pleasure instead, and I commend you for wanting to take that step. It will only deepen your enjoyment and your commitment to the anal only lifestyle.

It sounds like this is mostly an issue for you when you masturbate, not when you have sex. If you’re able to focus on the anal pleasure during sex, I encourage working on shifting your thoughts to your ass when masturbating as well. If you’re just casually playing with yourself and fingering your ass and feel tempted to rub, take the opportunity to focus more on your ass and switch to something more active like a dildo. The increased penetration and sensation will help you away from your clit. Whenever you feel the urge to touch your pussy, increase your anal intensity instead. Use that urge to redirect attention to your ass.

If you still find it hard to ignore, try covering it with tape when masturbating, or using a topical anesthetic like orajel to temporarily numb your clit. A physical barrier or numbing can work very well to train you away from it because even if you’re tempted to touch, it won’t deliver any sensation — and your attention will return to where it belongs. Over time, your body will adapt. The clit will fade from your awareness, and your ass will take over fully.

The Anal Only Lifestyle Patreon is Back — Stronger Than Ever

After a long period of inactivity, the Anal Only Lifestyle Patreon is back online and ready to move forward.

Thank you to everyone who’s supported the project in the past or reached out during the downtime. Your interest and encouragement have meant a lot — and I’m excited to get back to work on growing the community, improving our content, and spreading the Anal Only message.

This Patreon helps fund:

  • Our ad-free, open-access blog full of educational and inspirational content
  • The forum and chat server where people can connect and explore the lifestyle together
  • Ongoing content creation, outreach, moderation, and event planning (like our Anal Only Month challenges)

I’ll be making some improvements to the Patreon itself too — including updates to tiers, exclusive content just for patrons, and better ways to reward and recognize those of you helping keep all this alive.

If the Anal Only Lifestyle has helped you, inspired you, or just made you think, please consider supporting it here.

User Submitted Post

Anonymous: My girlfriend is incredibly skilled and passionate about anal fisting and double anal — I’m so proud of her and love bragging about her talents to trusted circles. I fantasize about her showing off those skills in some good, hard gangbangs or intense group sessions, really owning her sexuality.

She was raised Christian and, while she’s not deeply religious anymore, the idea of actually engaging in group sex still feels like a heavy conflict for her. This creates tension between my desire to see her fully express herself and her lingering reservations.

Am I okay wanting her to move on to real-life double anal experiences with others, even if it challenges her comfort zone?

It’s completely okay for you to want that. Fantasizing about your partner being fully used, admired, and celebrated for her abilities—especially when she’s as talented and passionate about anal fisting and DAP as you describe—is a natural extension of your pride, arousal, and deep admiration for her. There’s nothing wrong with craving that next level of intensity, or even feeling like it would unlock something deeper in both of you. That’s part of the anal only mindset: wanting to go further, stretch wider, and be even more fully shared.

At the same time, her background and concerns matter too. Even if she no longer holds strict religious beliefs, years of internalized messages don’t just disappear. Group sex, especially in the context of showcasing her body and talents, can feel like a direct challenge to everything she was taught to suppress or avoid. That doesn’t mean she’ll never move in that direction, but it does mean she may need time, space, and the right framing to get there.

Instead of pushing her toward a decision, consider framing it as a shared evolution. Not “I want you to do this,” but “I love how you’ve embraced anal and DAP, and I can’t stop imagining how powerful it would be to see you fully celebrated in that way. Not because I need it to happen, but because it excites me to think of you being admired and filled and stretched for others the way I already admire and desire you.” Let her feel how much this comes from love and erotic awe, not pressure.

So yes, wanting it is okay. Even if it never happens exactly the way you imagine, the fact that you’re proud of her, aroused by her skills, and eager to see her reach her full potential in this lifestyle is beautiful. I hope that you’re able to enjoy DAP together with other partners, and maybe even go double anal only if you aren’t already!

Why Men Should Refuse Pussy

For far too long, men have been expected to take whatever sex they can get — and that usually means pussy. It’s what culture tells you to expect, what partners are assumed to offer, and what most of society still treats as the “real” kind of sex. But for most men, vaginal sex is not just underwhelming. It’s a waste.

Every time you have vaginal sex, you’re giving up the chance to fuck her ass instead. You’re trading pleasure for thoughtless simplicity. Depth and tight friction for natural lubrication. Real passion for the soft expectation that you’ll accept what’s easiest. And why?

You don’t need it. You shouldn’t settle for it. And if you’re serious about who you are sexually, you need to stop.

It’s Not About Denial — It’s About Standards

This isn’t about withholding sex. This is about choosing the kind of sex that reflects your values. Anal sex is more intense, more dominant, more connected, and more psychologically satisfying. It’s not routine — it’s deliberate. And that’s exactly why it works.

When a man chooses anal only, he’s not limiting himself. He’s demanding more. More control. More pleasure. More passion. He’s making it clear that he knows what he wants — and won’t accept less.

Vaginal sex might be what she offers first. But you deserve to refuse it and insist on anal only — or nothing at all.

Assert It, Don’t Negotiate It

You don’t have to settle for vaginal. State that you’re anal only — not because you’re being picky, but because you know what works for you. You know what satisfies you. And you know that it’s not the pussy.

If she doesn’t get it, or tries to change your mind, that’s fine — she’s not the one. You don’t need to compromise your body or your desires for someone who isn’t willing to meet you there. There are plenty of women who already prefer anal, and even more who will come to love it when it’s the only option.

But they’ll never make that shift if men keep giving in and going along with vaginal just because it’s available. If you want a world of anal only women, it starts with anal only men.

Stop Reinforcing Vaginal Expectation

Every time you fuck a woman in the pussy, you teach her that it’s acceptable — that it’s good enough. You normalize it. You reinforce a culture that says, “Give him your vagina and he’ll be satisfied.”

But you’re not satisfied. And you shouldn’t pretend to be.

When you say no to pussy, you open the door for something better. You set the bar higher. You make space for anal to be not just accepted, but expected. And when more women encounter men who say no to pussy and yes only to ass, they’ll learn to offer you what you’re actually there for — or step aside.

Being an anal only man isn’t about being extreme or forcing women to do something they don’t want to do. It’s about being honest. You want intensity, connection, and control — and you know where that lives. In the ass. Not the pussy.

Refuse pussy. Demand ass. Stay anal only.

Message: Anal Community Forums

ZB: I’m in a marriage that’s vaginal only and I crave anal. I’m incredibly aroused by reading all these posts. I don’t want to destroy my marriage, but I need to pursue my desires. Could I get some recommendations for online communities?

Thanks for sharing this, it’s a powerful and vulnerable place to be, and you’re not alone. Many people in long-term, traditional relationships find themselves discovering a deep craving for anal—especially anal only—later on. It can feel like a secret obsession, especially when your partner doesn’t share or understand that desire.

Craving anal doesn’t mean you’re betraying your partner. It means you’re uncovering an important part of your sexual identity that has long been overlooked or suppressed. The intensity of your arousal when reading posts or imagining anal scenarios is a sign that this isn’t just a passing kink. It’s something deeper. Something central. Whether you ultimately transition your marriage toward anal, you deserve space to understand what this means for you first.

As far as communities, check out our forums, Discord, and the Anal Only Lifestyle subreddit.

Message: Is It Selfish To Want My Girlfriend to go Anal Only Too?

Tim: Hey, love the blog. I’ve been anal only for about a year now — I don’t masturbate any other way, I only play with my ass, and I’ve completely lost interest in using my cock for anything other than sex with my girlfriend. The problem is, she’s not anal only. She loves to play with my ass, and she enjoys getting anal herself and does it with me when I ask, but she still mostly wants vaginal sex and doesn’t seem interested in giving it up.

I don’t want to pressure her, but I also can’t stop thinking about how much better things would be if we were both anal only. The sex, the mindset, the clarity — it all feels lopsided right now. I love her, but I would love us both to be totally anal only and stop using her pussy.

Is it selfish to want her to go anal only too? Should I just accept this difference, or is it okay to expect more?

It’s not selfish to want your partner to share your values — especially when those values are shaping your identity, your arousal, and your sexuality. Anal only isn’t just a preference, it’s a lifestyle. A discipline. A mindset. A commitment. So it makes perfect sense that you’d want your girlfriend to embrace that with you.

Unfortunately, for many women vaginal is still the default — not because it’s better, but because it’s familiar, expected, and what society says is normal. Even though she embraces anal only for you, she may not fully understand what anal only could mean for herself yet.

The best thing you can do is stay grounded in your choice and be honest with her. Let her know this isn’t about control — it’s about alignment. That you’ve found something that brings you pleasure and satisfaction, and that you want to share that with her fully, not just occasionally. Frame it as a higher standard for the relationship, not a rejection of her.

If she’s interested, encourage her to try a week or month of anal only together and see what it’s really like to move past her pussy and focus just on anal pleasure for the both of you. If you make it through a month, chances are she’ll want to stay anal only going forward!

Porn Studios Need to Stop Making Vaginal Porn

Pornography has evolved in many ways — with higher production quality, more diverse performers, and wider acceptance of niche content. Yet, one area where the industry remains stuck is its ongoing inclusion of vaginal sex. Despite growing demand for anal only content and clear viewer trends that favor anal scenes, the vast majority of mainstream porn continues to include the vagina.

It’s time for porn studios to move forward and end production of vaginal and traditional double penetration (DP) scenes. The future of porn — and of sexual culture — is anal only.

Viewer Demand Is Clear

According to Pornhub’s 2017 Insights Report, “anal” was the second most searched term among women, and among the most consistently popular search categories across all demographics. That trend has only grown. Each year, terms like “anal,” “double anal,” and “anal only” dominate site-wide rankings. Users aren’t just curious — they’re searching, watching, and returning.

This demand doesn’t just come from men seeking visual novelty. Women are actively looking for anal scenes that mirror their own preferences or desires — scenes that reflect real interest and commitment to anal sex. But these viewers are often forced to sift through endless vaginal scenes, or endure anal scenes that are mixed with unwanted vaginal penetration or traditional DP.

If the demand is so clear, why hasn’t the supply caught up?

The Cultural Shift Is Already Here

Anal sex is no longer taboo. In fact, it’s fast becoming the standard in many people’s sex lives — especially among younger generations. Surveys consistently show that more couples are incorporating anal into their routines, more women are reporting anal orgasms, and more people are prioritizing anal pleasure as a key part of their identity.

And yet, porn still treats anal as the “extra.” Vaginal scenes dominate every studio’s catalog, and even anal-labeled scenes often include vaginal penetration or require the performer to switch holes. That’s not representation — it’s compromise.

Studios are holding onto outdated assumptions about what sex “should” look like, rather than listening to what viewers are actually searching for and what performers increasingly want to do.

The Future of Porn Is Anal Only

Porn studios have a chance to lead — to step beyond the stale assumptions of the past and into the reality of what viewers and performers are already living. Ending vaginal production is not about exclusion. It’s about clarity. About creating content that is intentional, elevated, and built around a deeper understanding of the future of sex.

By going anal only, studios align with the strongest viewer trends in the industry, performers are empowered to do what they love, audiences get content that reflects their preferences without compromise, and porn can evolve into something more connected, more disciplined, and more real.

Stop producing vaginal scenes. Stop forcing DP when DAP is what people want. The time for half-measures is over. Make porn anal only — for viewers, for performers, and for the future.

Message: Is It Possible to Lose Vaginal Arousal?

VickyAO: Hi, this might be a strange one, but I’ve been anal only for over many years now. I stopped using my vagina for anything, no penetration, no touching, not even during masturbation. I’ve noticed something interesting: I literally don’t feel anything anymore when I try to think about vaginal stimulation. Like, it’s just… nothing. No arousal, no mental association, no sensation. It feels like that part of me shut down.

I don’t miss it. I love how focused I am on my ass now. I can have intense, long-lasting anal orgasms without any clitoral or vaginal stimulation at all. It’s better than anything I ever had before.

But can a woman actually lose the ability to get arousal and orgasm from her vagina if she’s anal only long enough? Like, can the body unlearn that kind of arousal permanently? And if so, is that a bad thing? Or is it just the natural outcome of going fully anal only and never going back?

Thanks, just curious how far this can go.

Obviously this varies from woman to woman, but it’s absolutely something a lot of anal only women start to notice after a while. Vaginal arousal just starts to go away, and the vagina starts to become dry and inactive, no longer responding to being turned on or getting stimulated anally. You feel desire in your asshole instead, and it starts to relax and open up or even in some cases start to lubricate itself when you’re turned on.

It’s not a bad thing, it’s a natural progression and your body’s embrace of being anal only. You don’t need your vagina anymore, and it’s deactivating. Enjoy it!