Anonymous: Have you had an anal only weekend yet? I noticed about 4 months ago you mentioned you’d need some frequent anal attention to do it. Just wondering if it’s been attempted by you yet.
thepublicproperty: I will do it on my South America trip next month. In fact, I will start the trip anal and bj only, and keep it that way as long as I can.
We all know that Anal is slowly becoming less of a taboo – but is still a rare and irregular practice in mainstream society.
Most men fantasise about Anal, indeed crave it – so primarily it is the women who are reluctant to try, or continue, having Anal sex.
I think there are several factors which are holding Anal back from becoming the intercourse of choice for females
GQ has a good new piece out on anal sex and how to get started:
Maybe you’ve heard that everyone’s skipping the front door these days and going around back. You might be wondering: Am I allowed to use the back door? Julieanne Smolinski has some advice on how to get invited inside—and what to do if someone knocks on your back door, too
Anonymous: Recommended butt plugs
There are a lot of good ones out there, but you should at least pay attention to the materials. Silicone, glass and stainless steel are the best. Glass and stainless steel are basically going to last forever, and are very easy to sterilize, and pure (medical grade) silicone is as well.
I’m a fan of Tantus (Ryder, A-bomb, and others) and Njoy (Pure Plug 2.0) products, but there are plenty of others as well. Check out reviews, and pay attention to size and material.
Cheap plugs can sometimes be tempting (and in a few cases are fine) but it’s often worth going for a somewhat higher quality one instead. Bad materials (especially certain jellies) can burn your skin, and in some cases can be toxic.
A few years ago, I had the chance to lose my virginity, but I didn’t. For a while this bothered me, but now I’m happy I didn’t do it, because back then I didn’t know how pleasurable anal sex was for me. I would have ended up having mildly uncomfortable vaginal sex for sure.
And now I’m happy, because the thought of keeping a virgin pussy turns me on a lot. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if I HAD lost my pussy virginity, but I still think this is a very nice opportunity I have, so I am thankful for that “missed chance” You never know! 🙂
I think that’s exactly the right attitude to have! For someone who has gone anal only, it’s not really a big deal if you’ve had more experience already and tried vaginal before deciding that it wasn’t for you and moving to anal—but if you already know that before trying and choose to stay a vaginal virgin for your own reasons and enjoyment, that can be a pretty fun and sexy little bonus for yourself.
Anonymous: Hey, can I ask something? What would guys think about an anal-only type of girl? (One that can’t have vaginal sex because she’s waiting). Would they freak out? Would they not mind? Answer this, this is very important. Thanks!
Just as different women have wildly differing opinions about sex, so do men. Some men would want vaginal sex more and some would want both, while others would think they were the luckiest guy in the world if they met a girl who was anal only. It’s going to depend on each specific guy and his own preferences.
The best you can do is explain that you only want to have anal sex and remain a vaginal virgin and hope he is understanding and supportive.
However, it sounds like you don’t want to remain anal only indefinitely—only until you meet the right person or get married. That’s not really consistent with the anal only lifestyle, as you’re still prioritizing your vagina long-term and only going anal only in the short-term to “preserve” it until later. My advice would instead be to only do vaginal if and when you plan to have children, and stick with anal otherwise.
broadcastingit: For a life with anal only, what are your advices for the girl’s cleaning before? Because it means having anal 2 – 4 times a week, and enema shouldn’t be done this often…
If you eat a healthy, high fiber diet you don’t need to do anything but go to the bathroom a little before planning to have sex, and then use something like a butt plug for several minutes to half an hour. A dildo for a few minutes in the shower can also be good, both for warmup and for checking to make sure you’re clean.
It’s mostly deeper enemas—ones that clean beyond the rectum—that you may want to avoid doing too often, although there are those who do them fairly regularly without issue as well. A minor flushing out of just the rectum with warm water won’t cause much in the way of issues, but it’s usually not necessary.
There are a lot of attitudes and myths about anal sex: Men want it more. It’s not pleasurable for her. Everyone’s doing it apart from you. It’s sinful. If he won’t, then I won’t. There’s no such thing as an anal orgasm.Only gay guys do anal. So on and so forth.
These sex myths are demonstrably untrue; all they do is expose the fact that people don’t talk about anal sex very much, because it’s still relatively taboo in mainstream conversation. But why should this be? As part of a loving relationship, or even as part of a brief and hot encounter, anal sex has a lot to offer. Not to mention, the relative taboo nature of anal is part of its appeal for many participants.
If you are thinking of going for it, there are a few tricky obstacles to overcome. First, how do you initiate anal sex when you want it, especially if your partner has never experienced it before and has an attitude towards it? Second, how do you make anal sex more pleasurable and enjoyable, if one or both parties has the idea that it’s going to be nothing but painful?
An excellent article on some of the biggest myths surrounding anal sex and examples of how they’re being perpetuated. A couple choice quotes, but the entire piece is worth a read.
But what of those “slutty” women who enjoy anal? Recent examples in popular culture paint women who seek service from the pleasure train in their caboose as loose and trashy. True Detective has been the most recent and blatant offender of this myth. In one scene, one of our male leads is seduced by a young woman with the promise of anal intercourse. She is essentially naked in every scene, without character development or lines, and has but one purpose: to stand in as the whore figure pit against the man’s virginal wife. And we know her sexuality goes above and beyond standard nudity as HBO warns us of the “graphic sexuality” in this episode as foreshadowed by the viewer discretion opening. The message is clear: nice girls don’t take it from behind.
Think of it this way: your anus is a muscle. The more you exercise said muscle, the stronger it becomes—like pumping iron for your sphincter. While you may find it easier to allow various objects the more comfortable you get with anal play, you’ll find it has much more to do with the Sexual Triad than with the threat of anal collapse.
A woman whose husband prefers anal asks:
Do all men prefer anal sex and why?
She gets a number of good answers (and some stupid ones). One from a woman:
Well sweetie, if you wanna no the truth of this matter, yes almost all men want to have anal sex. I would say maybe 2% of the men in this world do not prefer anal sex with ther partner. I have been married for 21 years now, my husband loves watching porn with anal sex that is the only kind of porn that he with purchase. I did not prefer it in the past myself, but now as the time has gone by and I have viewed the porns with my husband, well it’s now stuck in my head and that is what I think about.
And a man who prefers anal:
Not all men prefer it, but I count myself among those who do. As for why, because, to me it feels better than vaginal. […] For my wife and I anal sex brings us both to orgasm, vaginal is nice sometimes for both of us but not nearly to the extent of anal sex. My wife is able to achieve orgasm through vaginal sex every time, I can’t. So for us anal sex is the more regular type of penetration sex that we both enjoy all the way to orgasm.
A couple who prefers anal but (for a ridiculous reason) hasn’t gone anal only:
I prefer anal sex, and my wife prefers it also. However, I have to be careful and love her vagina some of the time, since she thinks that I am too obsessed with her anus. (Her vagina is jealous of her anus, since the anus provides so much pleasure, but is not as “feminine” as her vagina.)
I think the reason is that the anus is so pleasurable for me is that her anus is round and tight, while her vagina’s opening, like with all vaginas has a more oval opening. Thus, the anus is much better for stimulating the penis.
[…]Meanwhile, she gets lots of stimulation at her G-Spot when I do anal entry from the rear. Her orgasms are more intense and more frequent with anal sex.
More comments from a man’s point of view:
I do prefer anal, most of the time. Probably because it’s more taboo.
Also, to me it shows a woman who enjoys it is broadminded (very sexy), comfortable with her body (very sexy).
Vaginal sex is not something I fantasize about as it’s too mundane and vanilla, I still enjoy it, but often it’s about as exciting as shaking hands… whereas anal definitely is more exciting and exotic to me.
[…]I don’t believe I could be compatible long term with a partner who wasn’t in to it, it would be like a man saying to a woman he would never go down on her (oral), having a central source of your pleasure denied, possibly for life would be a deal-breaker for me.