kinghut: I think it’s about time anal sex should now be referred to as sex and what used to be thought of as sex should now be called vaginal sex. Progress! ‘Anal only’
This post is historic in its inspiration of the now-defunct blog “vaginalisdead”.
I had high hopes for this article:
http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/butt-sex-porn-society/
But in the end was left greatly disappointed, as it perpetuates the same old myths, invents a few new ones and simply does not square with most peoples experiences.
The author (apparently a “sex writer” who has never had anal sex) makes a show of being neutral on the matter of heterosexual anal, but the piece is yet again more anti-anal propaganda.
I also think the men she interviewed for the article (who all come out against anal sex) are complete fabrications.
Take this quote, from “Scott”:
“I really like vaginas. They are just fantastic. I’m not really looking for an alternative,” he says. “When something else comes up, it’s like, what is this shit? That’s not what I came here for.”
This is useful when she wants to suggest there is no real demand for anal sex from straight men:
But among the men I spoke to, the “why is there anal sex in non-anal porn” gripe was common enough that I’m inclined to think that audience is much smaller than most porn directors think.
Her own data (from a recent survey) conflicts with her assertions – Anal sex is more popular than ever, especially among younger people (16-24).
I expect more articles in on this theme as more people discover a preference for anal sex – and expect more authors like EJ Dickson to stand Canute-like, fighting the tide.
But don’t take my word for it, have a read and decide for yourself.
Anonymous: How often do you play with your ass and do u enjoy it better than your pussy?
please-fuck-and-fist-my-ass-hol: Ass is for fucking-pussy just for licking!Well at least ,in my life- for sure! I don’t play much with my ass myself,because I have several boyfriends who do it very well!Yes,I prefer and enjoy anal sex a lot,because during anal sex plus clit stimulation-I get multiple mind blowing orgasms!ANAL-THE BEST!
surfershane: Just wondering if you can pass on any tips to make first time anal easier and enjoyable
Lots of practice/training/warmup, butt plugs, lube, and the recipient in control at first the first few times you fuck.
The anal sphincter needs to be relaxed in order to loosen. It’s the opposite of most other muscles in that its natural state is to be tight and rigid and it softens/loosens when “flexing” it. Some of its looseness can be voluntarily controlled (with practice) while some is involuntary. So you need to practice to increase your voluntary control while also working up the size of objects you can fit inside over a period of weeks or more. Start with a finger. Just one. Combine it with other stimulation, especially at first, to help make the anal penetration feel better and start building an association of anal with pleasure. Once comfortable with one, work up to a second finger. Keep on going up to three or four, only adding another when ready and backing off if it hurts.
Once you can fit three or four, it’s time for a butt plug. There are a lot out there, and the best are stainless steel, silicone or glass. A lot of the really cheap ones are made from unsafe or otherwise inferior materials that smell bad and can in some cases have bad skin reactions and burn. There are some good ones that aren’t too expensive, though—the Tantus Ryder is a very nice small/medium silicone plug you can get for around $20. Wearing a plug during oral, masturbation, and other sexual activities is a great way to warm up for the main event of anal. It’s also great to wear one for a while before sex, or even while doing other non-sexual things. Plugs really help develop voluntary muscle control that makes future sex easier.
Incorporating some sort of anal stimulation regularly during sex and masturbation will greatly speed up both an attraction to/enjoyment of anal and the ease with which it’s possible to move on to actual sex.
Once comfortable with objects close to the size of a penis, it’s time to try the real thing. It’s usually good for the person being penetrated to be in control at first when starting out, so they can control the speed, depth and angle of penetration and stop if anything hurts. If there is pain, just stop immediately wait in place a moment until it fades, then resume. You can also back off slightly before pausing and then push forward again. Once fully penetrated as far as comfortably possible, wait a minute or so, then slowly increase speed. After a few minutes, the penetrator can usually take control but needs to be very mindful of comfort and stop if anything hurts.
Anonymous: i ‘ve always believed that some bitches deserve only hard raw assfucking and cum down their throats
It’s not about punishment or degradation, it’s about the idea of the woman liking and wanting to be anal only as much as the man. And following that, I think every woman should be anal only. Vaginal sex should only be used for procreation and once she’s pregnant, right back to anal only. The vast majority of women who dislike anal simply aren’t doing it properly. If it hurts or is uncomfortable, you’re doing it wrong! Proper anal feels incredible, causes powerful orgasms and is safer than vaginal sex because it removes most of the risk of pregnancy without the need for birth control.
Now, it’s of course entirely up to each woman whether she actually wants to be, so even when I say things like “every woman should be anal only”, that’s just my personal opinion, and even then I really mean every woman should give the idea of being anal only a chance and try it for a week or a month or some period of time to see for herself whether she likes it. But even then just the idea of trying won’t appeal to some women and that’s fine. I’m just a guy with a blog giving out my opinion, and people who disagree are free to ignore me.
The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.
Anonymous: Well, with the attitude that anon has, he’s going to have it hard to find a woman… Even one that would enjoy domination in bed. That’s just such a wrong way to approach things, it reeks of misogyny and is an insult to those who enjoy consensual domination in bed.
the-dude-with-a-clue: Been really having a look at your blog. Really pro-anal, aren’t you. (Rhetorical) What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, eh? So, what about yourself? You talk the talk. To have any credibility whatsoever you need to have walked the motherfucking walk. Have you been fucked in the ass or are you nothing more than a big-mouthed hypocrite? What say you?
I have no problem with men also enjoying anal stimulation, and I’ve been known to do so myself. This blog is predominantly about female anal, however.
I take offense to your tone, and your assertion that for a man to prefer having anal sex with a woman or to know that some women prefer receiving anal over vaginal he needs to also experience getting fucked in the ass. You could’ve just asked your question politely and gotten a polite response rather than being a jerk about it.
Harvard University’s annual Sex Week observance, which launched Sunday, includes a workshop called “What What in the Butt: Anal Sex 101″ that aims to teach the Ivy League students how to have anal sex.
So-called sex experts from a local adult store will lead the Tuesday talk, which seeks to “dispel myths about anal sex and give you insight into why people do it and how to do it well,” the Fall 2014 Harvard Sex Week agenda states.
“They will cover a wide variety of topics, including: anal anatomy and the potential for pleasure for all genders; how to talk about it with a partner; basic preparation and hygiene; lubes, anal toys, and safer sex; anal penetration for beginners, and much more,” the agenda adds. “Learn the facts about this exciting yet often misunderstood form of pleasure, find out the common mistakes people make, and get all your questions answered.”
lifeinfragments-: How hard would it be to find a sexy AO girl in North Carolina?
The best way to find an anal only woman is to “make” one. That is, find a woman you get along well with and see how receptive she is to anal sex—if she already likes it, great, if not see if she’s open to gradually introducing anal play and eventually sex. Once she loves anal, see about short periods of anal only and working up to longer periods.
Or you might get lucky and meet someone who prefers anal already. You never know.
Anonymous: 30s couple here again. I just wanted to say that I get a sense from the many blogs like this one that wanting to be anal only is something very common. There’s now no excuse not for getting it right, such as technique lube etc. Treat your woman well and and there’s no reason why she can’t enjoy just as much as you do and why you can’t be having the kind of sex YOU prefer rather than stick with the “one” way by some kind of default.
Absolutely. Most people who hate anal haven’t been introduced to it properly and had a partner that rushed or didn’t know what they were doing, and as a result they end up hating it. Done properly, almost everyone will enjoy anal.
Anonymous: Hey, I just wanted to say to your readers if they are in any doubt they should go for it. We are a couple now in late 30s and most of the time now we have anal sex. When we first dated etc my wife was against anal but over the years has warmed to it in a big way. I wish it had happened earlier, but at least now after 15 years together I’m getting the kind of sex I always dreamed of. Very satisfying and intimate sex for us both, and I can be honest and say I never liked pussy sex all that much.
I completely agree that the most effective way to overcome any doubts about the anal only lifestyle is to try it for yourself, and not just once or twice, but for an extended period of time that gives you enough opportunity to familiarize yourself with the nuances of it and get through any challenges that may occur in the first few weeks to month of such a change.