blessedcyclope: My gf and I love anal sex. We have anal every time we have sex. However, we are not all-anal, we like both. Usually, in a sexual encounter, we have vaginal sex first and then anal, to avoid any problems with bacterias. But, we’d like to have a more dynamic sex, to change from vaginal to anal and viceversa any time during act. Do you recommend any special product to clean the anal cavity so we can have this dynamism without any problems?

In porn, this is accomplished with heavy douching or enemas. Douching can work for some people, but it does require a conscious step before having sex, and I suspect that it may still not provide a level of cleanliness that makes anal to vaginal a safe act.

Anonymous: I’m thinking of becoming only anal sex guy. I mean i would like to have only anal with women and never vaginal. But the problem is – most of my sex acts are one night stands, do you think is even possible?

Some women would be up for it, but a lot of women, even those who enjoy anal, may be hesitant to do anal before knowing more about a guy and how much they can trust him, just because of the potential for pain with a partner who doesn’t know what he’s doing.

You can certainly try it, but you’ll probably need to be a bit more up front about what you’re looking for and accept that you’ll be reducing the pool of possible partners with such a restriction. Most anal only couples get there over time, not immediately from the start. But there certainly are single anal only women out there too who would also like to hook up with guys who want anal only.

Anonymous: Does coconut oil work as a good lube for anal?

Yes, it’s quite popular as an anal lube. Lubes are a very personal and subjective choice, though, so I encourage you to try a variety and see what’s best for you.

Anonymous: I really want to try anal sex, once my boyfriend accidently put the tip in and it was so good, he doesn’t want to try it. How can i get him to do it ?

Has he said why he doesn’t, or just that he doesn’t? Make sure you’ve communicated that it felt really good when he did it and you’d really like to try it again with him. Is he concerned about cleanliness, or is it something else? Many concerns about anal can be easily dealt with.

You can also continue to explore anal on your own with fingers, butt plugs and dildos, and I really encourage doing so to become more familiar and experienced with it, which will make future anal sex experiences more enjoyable for everyone as well.

Anonymous: Now that my wife is pregnant, she’s more up for anal than ever before, where before it was only special occasions. Has anyone else noticed this happen with their wife? I just want to fuck her sweet ass and nothing else so I’m going to use this opportunity to attempt to go anal only! Wish me luck!

I’ve definitely heard of cravings for anal surfacing during anal—sometimes from women who already practice and love anal but find themselves wanting it even more than usual, and other times from women who have a sudden urge to try it for the first time and discover they love it. I’ve also heard of women who are told by their doctors for various reasons that they cannot continue to have vaginal sex during pregnancy but that anal is okay, so they become anal only during pregnancy (and sometimes beyond) as a result.

You should definitely go for it—going anal only after having kids just makes sense anyway.

Anonymous: Anal sex with the last few partners I’ve had have been dirty/messy experiences. When i look down and see it happening it’s about as big a turn off as they come for both parties. I love fucking a woman’s ass but I feel like the reality of anal sex is very different than the super clean porn we see online. Do you have any advice on this?

Anal in porn is alway preceded by anal douching if not full blown enemas. In reality, while most people will be mostly clean most of the time assuming a healthy diet, etc., there is always the possibility of encountering fecal matter unless also doing anal douching beforehand. Some people don’t want to encounter any sort of mess when having anal and so douche every time. If done correctly, just flushing out the rectum and nothing beyond, this can be very effective, but too much or too deep and it can create a greater mess as well as pose a potential health risk if done too deep too excessively due to creating an imbalance of good bacteria essential to the digestion process. So I highly recommend reading up on the pros and cons of doing such a thing.

Otherwise, healthy diet, go to the bathroom an hour to 30 minutes before, and insert a butt plug 30 to 15 minutes before—the last helps with warmup and “activates” the colon a little bit, which can help move anything close by along that might potentially cause a mess during sex.

Anonymous: If my boyfriend always makes excuses not to have vaginal sex with me but is always trying to have my ass, does that mean he wants to do “anal only”? I feel kinda sad 🙁

It’s impossible to say what his motivations are without talking to him. It’s possible that he’s more attracted to anal sex and would prefer it, but I don’t know. Talk to him. Communication is key.

Anonymous: When my wife and I watch porn together, she gets incredibly excited as soon as some butt play comes into it… She wants to take me back there but every time I get more than 2 fingers up her she gets scared and stops… Any ideas how to calm her down and make it easier?

Talk with her about it. What specifically is she scared of? Is she scared it will hurt? (Does it start to hurt? If it does, then stopping or backing off to less fingers for a little while is the right move.) Is she scared it will be messy? Is she scared she’ll be injured or become loose/incontinent? These are all things that can be talked about and avoided (and becoming incontinent is a myth except in very rare or extreme cases).

Tell her that you share her interest in anal and that you’ll go at whatever pace she needs to in order to be comfortable and can feel confident that she can experience anal play and eventually anal sex painlessly and with pleasure. Don’t even put full anal sex on the table yet, just say you’d like to continue exploring anal play for now and work up in size gradually. Try to make anal play a regular part of sex. A finger or two during oral, rubbing externally during vaginal in certain positions, or even some fingering during vaginal. If she expresses interest in continuing to explore further, you might at some point get a few small toys to use as well.

analarousal: Seeing a dick go into a pussy is almost taboo to me. I’m so accustomed to seeing the asshole full of cock.

analsexonly: Anal is so much better and more natural looking. I actively dislike seeing vaginal penetration in porn and unfollow anal blogs that mix it in excessively.

cyranobritt: Whenever I’ve taught a lady anal, they’ve come to prefer it every time

Anonymous: I think I’m an anal only woman, although my pussy gets all wet and seeks for attention, most of the time I just need to have my ass full and I feel much more useful. And I’ve been ass fucked but not my pussy, I don’t feel I need it.

Just think of your pussy getting wet as a sign of your arousal and desire for anal sex, rather than something that needs its own attention. Thanks for sharing.