Anonymous: So, my bf and I have only tried anal twice and haven’t been completely successful. Haven’t been able to take all of him. Help. Also, from what I’m reading here, I’m not supposed to rub my pussy during anal?

Actually, if you’re just getting started with anal, chances are you will want to play with your pussy and clit at the same time. It helps you relax and helps build associations between anal penetration and pleasure. Going fully anal only with no other stimulation is more of an advanced thing some people may find appealing to try once they’re already enjoying frequent anal sex, and others may simply need to incorporate clitoral play anyway.

When you say you haven’t been able to take all of him, what is stopping you? Pain/discomfort or simply a physical limit where he is unable to go any further? If pain, you definitely need to train and warm up with fingers and/or toys more first. If not, you may just try as far as you can go for a while. As you relax, you can straighten out a bit and make deeper penetration easier, or you can try different positions. Try it with you on top, squatting and lowering yourself onto him slowly. Stop if it hurts and just hold yourself there, then go a bit further, repeating until he’s in. It may take a while, but you should be able to get there. The key is to stop when you feel pain approaching and just hold your position to get used to being filled at that size, then resume. “Push” outwards as if going to the bathroom to help relax and ease initial penetration.

Anonymous: lately i have been having lots of anal sex but always its kinda awkward and painful at the begining so i have been thinking about buying an anal plug, any recommendations on how to pick one or other methods to keep my fuckhole loose?

Butt plugs are great, both for additional play and for training purposes. As with any sex toy, you want to get one that’s a body safe material. Silicone, stainless steel and glass are all good for this. I would generally recommend silicone starting out, but everyone has different preferences. Note that with silicone toys you generally cannot use silicone lube. The Tantus Ryder is a good small/medium plug to start with—about 1.5″ diameter at its maximum—and only about $20. It’s a good shape for longer term wear if that interests you, but it should work well as a warmup before sex as well. Over time you may want a larger plug as well, and there are plenty of different good options out there. Pretty much all Tantus products are great, but there are other good brands as well. Just stay away from the cheaper materials, especially jelly. They can cause adverse skin reactions or worse.

You don’t necessarily want to (and won’t) actually stay loose all the time, the key is training yourself to be able to relax at will, and then going through a warmup process beforehand each time to ensure you’re relaxed and ready for sex. For many, a butt plug worn for 15 to 30 minutes before sex, often during other foreplay, works great for that purpose.

Anonymous: I wish I could find an anal only partner 🙁

So do many people who follow this blog, but the majority of people in the world aren’t anal only and probably haven’t even considered it. So for most people, anal only relationships develop over time if they develop at all. Few people will jump straight into anal only unless it’s already something they really enjoy or prefer, but with a gradual increase of mutually agreed upon anal play and sex, always focusing on trying to maximize enjoyment by all involved, it’s something that can become appealing, especially if at some point down the road you give it a trial run for a shorter period of time and everything goes really well.

Anonymous: I wish guys would actually realise anal is NOT supposed to hurt. My life partner has shown me this but if more guys knew I would have been a happy anal slut far sooner, with many more guys. I would have carried coconut oil with me 24/7 for it. ♡_♡

I wish more men and women both would realize this. And in the age of the internet, where most people have information about virtually anything at their fingertips, it’s ridiculous that they don’t. The information that anal done correctly does not hurt is all over the internet—all it takes is half an hour searching and reading about it to know pretty much all there is to know. (To be fair, there are bad sources out there too, which prolong the idea that it will hurt at first.) The fact that so many people are having anal without learning more about it first is problematic and leads to most people being turned off by it—because they didn’t do it right and it hurt.

As with all things, even done with the proper training, lube, and warmup, not everyone is going to like it, but I strongly believe far more people would be having anal on a regular basis and a large subset of those would be content (or thrilled) with being anal only. Much of the modern stigma stems from the false idea that it’s a one-sided sex act that’s enjoyable for men and something painful to be endured by women.

The original poster responded:

I wish I could have been more of an anal slut, enough to go home with guys and at least pretend “btw, I’m an anal only girl, is that okay?” While blushing and being cute, sucking on it. Take it up the ass say thank you very much!:D And go home happy!

So it goes. I’m sure some great times could have been had by all, but at least you are able to enjoy it now, so all is not lost.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

scaredfeminist: ?????? so true! I was scared of anal for so long, but now that I’m actually doing it with a good partner on a regular basis I love it! It feels so good! All it takes is prep and communication. Just like all sex. Plan that shit yo!

hoe-lee-fuc: Have you noticed that anal/butt stuff is becoming more mainstream? It’s awesome! “You gotta eat the booty like groceries” ;D

Definitely, and it’s wonderful. I don’t know if it’s getting more popular to talk about because anal is getting more popular, or if anal is getting more popular because it’s getting more popular to talk about it, but either way—it’s going to lead to more people wanting to try it, and hopefully trying to learn how to do it properly so they and their partner enjoy it and have good anal experiences.

Anonymous: I’ve been a fan of this page for a while now, and i’d just like to say how far it has taken my lovely girlfriend of 4 years and I. We’re at a place of love, passion, and ecstasy only attainable through anal sex. She is truly my anal girl, we talk about it together, fantasize together, she begs me for it, and she has even thanked me after finishing inside of her. Shes such a wild girl with anal. Listen to me guys, the key to a womans heart is loving her ass, not her pussy.

Well said, and thanks for sharing. It’s not too surprising to hear such things, given how true it has been for so many couples focusing on anal or going anal only, but it’s always great to hear from more sharing their experiences.

Anonymous: I just had to share… I had my first anal orgasm tonight! I edged myself after my Master gave me permission to masturbate, and was able to achieve an amazing anal orgasm. I will continue to practice so I may eventually be able to bring myself to orgasm without even touching my clit. This is a big time achievement for my, because I have only had about 3 penetration orgasms in my life. I’m usually clit only.

Congratulations! Anal really helps with orgasms for a lot of women.

Anonymous: My pussy is sensitive so it make sense to spank my pussy to correct me right? I do touch my clit and cum still, but I love to be denied and have my pussy ignored or spanked or clothespegged and I want to become an anal only whore.

If it works for you, then it makes sense. And there’s nothing wrong with cumming, unless you’re into not cumming (which there’s also nothing wrong with). The main appeal of not touching your clit is learning to cum from just anal—something some people can do naturally, and some people can learn to do—which is less about denial and more about the total hotness of being able to orgasm with just your ass and leaving your pussy and clit completely out of it, making them redundant.

If you want to become anal only, do it.

Anonymous: Sitting with my pussy clamped shut and my butt plug in just scrolling endlessly through your blog. Best night I’ve had in a long time.

Excellent, I’m glad to hear it. Keep it up and have fun!

Anonymous: Hope its ok to ask a silly question but if i dont want to have children then should i stick to anal only??

Anal only as a form of birth control is certainly something some people have practiced. It’s not 100% perfect birth control (a woman who was completely anal only and had never had vaginal sex recently got pregnant, but that was a very rare special circumstance and doesn’t apply to most people), but it is effective enough for most people, it seems. If you enjoy anal and would like to avoid other forms of birth control, why not? Anal only is great if you enjoy it, and that’s an added benefit.