I’m a straight male in my thirties and I am really happy that this blog, and such communities, exist. For some reasons I never truly understand myself, I’ve always considered anal sex to be superior. Even before having sex with my first girlfriend, I was already fascinated by anal sex, to the point that the very first time I had sex in my life, I fucked her ass after only 2 minutes of vaginal penetration. Then, I had sex with many ladies and discovered that, as time passed, I was more and more into anal. I only watch anal only porn (which is not easy to find), because I find that even 10 seconds of vaginal penetration during a porn video ruins it for me.

5 years ago, I met a girl who was willing to discover new things with me (anal, domination, orgies, …). Our intercourses focused more and more on anal until the day I decided to abandon her vagina. That was the best sex experience of my life. After this relationship ended, I had issues getting back to ‘regular’-old-fashioned-boring sex. And I felt somehow guilty when my next girlfriends blamed me for preferring anal. Even if they were okay to do anal from time to time, they considered it really offensive that I preferred their asses. So I tried to deny this obsession I have for anal sex, because I wanted to keep their love and make them happy. But soon, after 1 or 2 years of relationship, I usually am not attracted by my girlfriends anymore, so sex becomes rare, and I think this is due to lack of anal intercourse, because I can’t express myself truly, and I don’t feel really connected during sex.

That is what anal sex provides me: a kind of enhanced intimacy, a stronger connection, a better way to express feelings…

I also tried not to watch porn anymore, or not to masturbate anymore, for 1 or 2 weeks, to rise the need of having sex, regardless of what I can get out of it. But this feels very frustrating. Sex should be fun, and not yet another plague in life.

I’m glad this blog exist because I was beginning to think I have a problem with anal. And now, either I discover it’s not a problem, but just a taste, or we all have a problem here (which might be the case, actually, but never mind, anal is too good to give up on it). So please, keep on spreading the word and evangelize anal, because I’m starting to think I’ll never again find a girl who enjoys anal and much as it deeply count for me.

It’s not a problem to prefer anal, it’s just a preference. There are men and women both who prefer it. It can just be a challenge to find others who share that same preference, and that process can indeed be hard—especially if people get offended or condemn your preference as something bad, which can lead to self-doubt and self-loathing feelings, as if something is wrong with you. But it’s not. You just have incompatible sexual preferences with those people.

Anonymous: Hi! Is there such a thing as “anal cum”? My bf and I were having anal sex and at one point when he pulled out, there was white cum-like substance on his dick. We didn’t use any lube, just his spit (I was super relaxed and in no pain), so we weren’t sure what to really make of it. Thanks!

That’s most likely anal mucous. Despite the common statement that the rectum is not self-lubricating, it actually is—to a certain degree. It generally does not produce anywhere near enough to provide sufficient lubrication for sex, but it’s not uncommon for people to see it after sex. In rare cases, some people do produce enough to lubricate all their sexual activities, and there are even occasional reports of people who produce it in response to arousal, similar to natural vaginal lubrication.

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your blog, and how wonderful it is for me to find that I’m not the only one who thinks there’s nothing better than anal. I had anal for the first time when I was 13. I wasn’t interested in vaginal intercourse. All my life I have honestly only craved anal, which is in part due to my bedroom submissive personality. I’m not saying I don’t like vaginal, but it just doesn’t give me the mental stimulation that I crave. There’s nothing like the feeling of being “filled” with cock.

With that being said I’ve dated so many men that had no interest in anal and it was always me talking them into trying it. I could tell they didn’t get it, get why I craved it and wanted it and if you don’t have that connection of understanding it, well it’s just not the same.

I only watch anal porn, I have no interest in anything else, and when I masturbate it’s on my stomach so I can imagine someone taking me in my ass and obviously the only thing I think about is anal, as I only get off thinking of anal.

I finally now in my late 20s have found a man who enjoys it and craves it as much as I do and it’s such an eye opening and soul soaring experience, and has given me a depth of love I never knew possible. I’ve never needed to use lube, I’m just a natural because I not only crave it but need it.

My question though is that I see a lot of comments about no clitoral stimulation and I guess I have issues with that because I don’t see the clit as an extension of my vagina I see it as a trigger point in my body the same way of my nipples and other “pleasure spots”. I can very easily have anal without touching my clit because it’s so “mentally stimulating” to me. But from years and years of having no partners to do anal with I’ve kind of formed a crutch so to speak on masturbating and using a vibrator while I imagine my ass filled. So a lot of times when I have anal I do enjoy using a vibrator, I guess I’m curious what your thoughts are on that. I guess I don’t see the need to not use a vibrator, or to separate myself from clitoral stimulation. I can do it both ways but I really love the orgasm I have with a vibrator.

First, thanks so much for sharing. It’s great you’ve met a partner who enjoys being anal only as much as you do and that it’s been so fulfilling for you.

In regards to clit stimulation, in general, I say do whatever works for you. Clitoral play is a valid component of anal only for a number of women—some need it in order to enjoy anal at all, while others enjoy anal on its own but need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. I do not consider clitoral play a “violation” (I feel silly writing that, but I don’t have a better term at the moment) of being anal only.

There are some who push for denial of clitoral stimulation from a domination perspective, denying their partners any sort of pleasure except that which she can derive from anal penetration. This is a valid approach for couples who enjoy such dynamics, but isn’t for everyone. There is a sort of appeal to the idea of an anal only woman who is able to get all the pleasure she desires through anal penetration, however.

The primary reasons I sometimes encourage people to experiment with giving up clitoral stimulation, however, are to help try to develop the ability to have pure anal orgasms, and to go for a time experiencing nothing but the sensations from anal sex without the distraction that clitoral stimulation can be. The two sensations do pair well together, but I feel that anal only women should become intimately familiar with anal entirely on its own as well. Clitoral stimulation, as you said, can be a bit of a crutch and a habit that may be perfectly enjoyable and fine, but may also prevent you from experiencing something else or discovering how to orgasm from anal alone. Some women who have learned how to have anal only orgasms found that by using clitoral stimulation during sex they were essentially short circuiting the anal orgasm process and climaxing before they could figure out what made them orgasm anally. The increased arousal level from denying themselves any orgasm other than anal also helps both in providing motivation to figure out how to cum from anal and demands from the body an outlet for release.

So I don’t suggest that all women should stop all clitoral stimulation, but I do encourage those women who have come to prefer anal and are already anal only to experiment with going a time without any clitoral stimulation, to more deeply explore their bodies, see if they can unlock an ability to orgasm anally, and just to try something new. Similar as with anal only, I recommend going an extended period of time—at least a month, though many may need to work up to that length from shorter periods of time like a few days to a week at first. After, if you decide it’s not for you, great—keep on enjoying what you enjoy, and know you tried something new. You may find the idea intriguing still but want to take a break from it, and that’s certainly fine as well.

Alternate things I encourage experimenting with, which are less extreme than a time with zero clitoral stimulation, are edging (playing with your clit right up to the edge of orgasm and backing off, repeatedly, without orgasming throughout) and ruined orgasms (nearly the same as above, but ceasing all touch with your clit the instant you go over the edge so you orgasm but do not continue touching yourself during it, resulting in an orgasm of reduced intensity and much less decrease in arousal after). These can both be great to explore along with an anal only lifestyle, for a variety of reasons including another approach to experimenting with reaching anal only orgasm.

Ultimately, though, if you’re happy the way things are and aren’t interested in experimenting with other variations on anal only, there’s nothing wrong with that. Do what works for you and makes you happy and enjoy sex.

Anonymous: I’ve always been interested in anal, I even bought plugs. However, I can never wear one for too long because I end up feeling dirty. Do you have any tips that could maybe help me be more dedicated?

Dirty in the sense of hygiene or feeling bad/ashamed?

If the former, go to the bathroom before and you’ll be okay most of the time.

If the latter, it can take some time to work through. Always tell yourself there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what you’re doing. It’s important to consciously believe this—but that’s often not enough, and people can still feel bad after doing certain things even if they enjoy it and don’t have any rational reason to feel that way. Being aroused tends to keep that feeling of doing something wrong away, and then there can be a crash after you orgasm where you feel shame, even if you have no reason to be ashamed about anything.

To start out, put in your plug and masturbate while wearing it. After you orgasm with it in, try to keep it in for as long after as you feel comfortable doing so. This may not be very much time at all at first, which is fine. The important thing is to try and keep pushing that limit. As you get further along with this, you’ll get more comfortable with having something in your ass in general.

Another alternative is to experiment a while with keeping yourself in a longer term state of arousal through either edging or ruined orgasms, neither of which give the same amount of crash as a normal orgasm. These aren’t necessarily for everyone, though, but may be useful in the short term just to provide you with a period of time to experiment with anal play while being more aroused and thus more open to it.

Anonymous: I asked a while back about how I can cut down on the need for stimulation of my clit so I can get closer to being anal only, and your advice really helped! I’ve been training at least once a day and I barely have to touch any of the useless parts of my anatomy- such as my clit- anymore! Thank you so much, my dom is so pleased. Lots of love xoxo <3

vaginalisdead: That is great news! Glad I could be of help.

goodgirlstrainer: The very first thing that you have to change is how you perceive sex. Let’s start with a simple definition. “sex” is an activity between two partners, for example a man and a woman, where the woman has her anus and mouth penetrated by her partner. It can of course involve other sexual activities, like nipple play or pussy licking, however the “main course” is the act of penetrating the anus. Therefore, instead of thinking “I am horny”, start thinking “I need cock in my ass”. Whenever you have the opportunity, not only think, but say “I’m going to be a good girl, I need cock in my ass”. Every time you say it, bend over and slap your ass. Do you need a cock in your ass now, sweetie? You know what to do. Just like that. That’s a good girl.

Anonymous: Pro-choice or Pro-life Sabrina?

sabrina-dacos: Pro-anal…  the most fun way to fight overpopulation

ecchibarbie: What’s a ruined orgasm?

A ruined orgasm is when you play with yourself right up to the edge of orgasm but instead of backing off as you would with edging, you let yourself go over the edge but immediately cease all touch. You orgasm, but it does not really reduce your arousal levels, and you don’t get the full strength pleasure of a normal orgasm (though there is usually pleasure involved). It’s often somewhat frustrating, but it can come to be satisfying in its own way, and it works quite well with being anal only in part because it doesn’t reduce your arousal levels and keeps you focused more on your ass and its sensations. It can for some also be a good way to train yourself to have anal orgasms, because you can learn how to increase the pleasure from your ruined orgasm through anal stimulation at the same time.

Anonymous: How do I find an anal only chick?!? What are some tips?

Generally, women don’t go around holding up signs and telling the world their sexual preferences. More power to those who are able to do so, but most of the time it’s a great way to get spammed with unwanted attention. So it’s not really easy to find someone with compatible sexual interests aside from the traditional way: find someone you like in other ways, and then take the relationship to the point where you find out if you’re also sexually compatible.

There are certainly a number of anal only women out there, but they are in the minority and your chances of simply running into someone who already has that interest are still fairly low. The reality is that most people in anal only relationships did not start that way and when the relationship began it’s unlikely that both partners wanted to or even considered being anal only.

Most anal only relationships are built over time because it’s something one partner wants or needs and after communication and experimentation with each other they may reach the point where they’re both willing to take the step of calling themselves anal only and both being okay with not having any more vaginal sex.

Not every person is willing to do this. Some (women and men both) may come to (or already) love anal but also enjoy vaginal at a similar level and be unwilling to give it up. Some may hate or be repulsed by anal and never reach the point where anal becomes a regular thing, let alone something like going anal only be considered. But others are willing to do it, or at least try it. Plenty of men and women both enjoy anal, and there are those adventurous enough to give just about anything new a try, including something like going a month with just anal sex and no vaginal. Those who get through that month and are still enjoying  themselves after are often open to the idea of extending the month further or indefinitely.

But don’t expect to jump right into a relationship and have it anal only from the start. It’s possible, but it’s still fairly improbable. Perhaps as anal continues to become more common and less taboo it will be more likely.

little-b-dolly: Ok so the first request!!!

For a good number of months I was made to be an anal only slut. My pussy was locked away in chastity so I couldn’t even touch myself.

Why? Because its to make me a better slut and better slave.

So being in chastity drove me totally up the wall, like. Cat in heat I was so wound up and ended release. And of course I didn’t get any. So after some time of no sex of any kind, me being very horny and needy we began to use my ass!

So at this point I am anal only!! Getting my ass fucked regularly, having it stretched with toys and Big insertions. Basically training my ass to swallow cock as eagerly as my mouth or pussy.

Now the point of being anal only is multiple. One guys like a new hole to shove they’re cock in. It means no clitoral stimulation, no G spot basically as little pleasure for the woman as possible. It’s to deepen the submissive’s bond with they’re Dominant. And its good for training.

So men get sex and release and women just get Hornier and more frustrated and not Cumming!! Good deal right?

But here’s the secret! Cumming from anal sex is fucking amazing!! Yes women can cum from anal!! Everyone is wired different so for some its the only way they can cum, others its just a big fat no no and then there is all in between.

The first time I came from my ass was so fucking intense! I hadn’t cum in months, I’d gotten used to the constant need for release, and it really helped keep me in the right mind set to serve and obey.

So when I finally came and had that amazing release my mind was totally fried.

So now I can cum from anal! I can cum from my cunt and I can even cum from sucking cock.

I’m a true 3 hole fuck doll and its all thanks to being anal only. Leaving my pussy untouched and fighting through the maddening need for release I’ve managed to find new heights of pleasure.

I fully recommend people going anal only, for a while at least. I know anal is still a big deal for alot of people but some common sense, trust and being carful means it can feel oh so good!