Anonymous: Hi, I am not anal only. However, my bf loves it and I am starting to love it too. I haven’t been able to orgasm from it yet but I really want to! I can when I play with my clit but want to orgasm from strictly anal. Now that we are doing it more often I notice that when I am on my back with my legs up over his shoulders I start getting an intense amazing feeling building deep. Does this mean I am on the right tract? Do you have advice for me to get anal orgasms?

Yes, that’s definitely a good sign and something you should pursue further. Any sort of intense feelings building can often lead to orgasm if you let it.

I would suggest trying to minimize clitoral play for a while and see if you can let your arousal build and then focus on trying to build that sensation again and if you can get over the edge into orgasm.

therealmikelowry: I did everything possible.. She was dripping wet.. I made her cum 6 times.. I ate her out and fingered her ass.. I and when ever i wanted to put 2 fingers.. She would shiver and hesitate. I tried and she just wouldn’t work with me. She wanted to make out while i play with her pussy, but i said no because if she gets to make new rules, i get to make new rules too. Simple as that.. She’s pretty mad about it, I’ll just wait until she gets back to what she was. She use to love anal..But idk whats up

Talk to her. Ask her what she wants. Ask her why she’s not as interested in anal anymore. You’ve got to communicate. Acting adversarial towards each other isn’t going to help anybody, and you won’t figure out how to work together if you don’t communicate with each other.

Maybe she’s worried that doing anal only makes her a “slut”, or fears a myth about anal sex causing damage. Perhaps she faced some sort of judgement about anal sex that turned her off about it. Maybe it’s something else entirely. Maybe she doesn’t enjoy it at all and just pretended because it was what you wanted, and that’s no longer enough for her. You won’t know what until you talk to her. Reassure her that you aren’t trying to pressure her into anything she doesn’t want to do, and that you want to know what it is that she does want to do.

therealmikelowry: Love the blog, My girl is a virgin and thinks that vaginal is the way to go, but she doesn’t want to lose her virginity so we did anal for a a year now. The thing is, until now, sometimes it hurts her. We fuck nearly twice a week and sometimes twice a month. She’s a moody chick, and i ran out of ideas into making this easy for her. I got her dildos and butt plugs, but she wouldn’t use them that much. I need her to want it more, i dont wanna run after her and knowing she can’t handle anal.

Sounds like she isn’t that into anal, she’s just doing it to have something to offer sexually without having vaginal sex. Even when it doesn’t hurt, does she enjoy it? Or is she just going along with it? If you’re going to continue doing anal, you should be sure to communicate about what she likes and doesn’t like and try to explore together how to make it more enjoyable for her. Eat her pussy and finger her ass at the same time. Play with her clit during anal. Get her a vibrator if she doesn’t have one, have her use it during sex. But most importantly—find out what she likes and wants and would like to try. Instead of simply buying her dildos and plugs to train with, ask what she would like to do.

Anonymous: what is psychological reason to enjoy anal..

It’s more a physiological reason—it feels really good if you do it right.

It may be psychological for some people as well—some people find it a more dominant or submissive act, some people are aroused by the taboo, some by the idea of turning their anus into a sex organ, or into their primary sex organ, or of abandoning their vagina. Some like the aesthetics of an empty vagina beside a filled anus. The list goes on…

Anonymous: I’m a 22 year old single girl wanting to go anal only. What is the best way to inform new and potential partners?

Tell them. You can supplement this with other things like wearing a butt plug, wearing backless panties that cover your pussy but reveal your asshole, etc., but communication is still key. When you’re about to have sex the first time with a new partner, tell him you only like it up the ass and want to have sex that way. It may not be what everyone wants, but it’s usually best to figure out if that compatibility will work up front.

Anonymous: I have two questions! 1. Any tips for wearing a butt plug long term? Any particular ones that are good for long term (8+ hours) wear? 2. What’s the best way to have completely clean anal like porn stars do?

Get one with a t-base or similar that seats comfortably, and no hard/sharp edges, rather than something round-based. There are a lot of good options. The Tantus Ryder is a good small/medium option. As for technique to wear long term, just wear for as long as you can and keep trying to push that a bit longer each time and before you know it you’ll be able to wear it to bed or all day if you want. Carry lube with you in case you need to relubricate throughout the day.

Diet is a major factor for clean anal. Have a generally balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber and you’ll be naturally pretty clean. Wear a plug before having sex and that will often help you clean out further. Use a small anal douche in the rectum only to flush it out if you feel the need to clean further.

My name is Jay. I’ve been a fan of anal since i can remember. Even when I was a virgin years ago, I knew I loved ass and wanted to have sex with one. Me and my first GF explored and learned our bodies together (including anal) and it was the best.

A while after that I did it with a few more people here and there, until I met my ex-fiancee who was afraid of anal at first… but after some time she fell in love with it and couldn’t orgasm without it. We did strictly anal for 3 years, only using oral and vaginal as foreplay or to get me wet enough to fuck her tiny little ass. It was perfect. But that relationship faded.

Now I’m seeing someone who once again was afraid to try… but thanks to my experience she has come to love and expects anal during every sexual encounter. She still likes oral and vaginal pleasure so I do those to please her, but she knows I’m only interested in her ass… which she adores.

Fire away any questions or comments, I’m an anal only type of guy and would love to just have anal for the rest of my life, but I also give my partners what they need too. If they are willing to try taking my size in their bum… It’s the least I can do so long as I still get to cum in their ass… which is the only place I usually can.

Anonymous: You might have answered this (100% chance) but why anal only? Why not both? Is there something wrong with vaginal?

Some people don’t enjoy vaginal, or even if they enjoy it, they enjoy anal more. Some people are turned on specifically by the idea of vaginal denial in favor of anal, of replacing their vagina as their primary sex organ with their anus. Some are incapable of enjoying vaginal. Some can only orgasm from anal, or their anal orgasms are so much more powerful than vaginal or clitoral orgasms that they have no interest in pursuing those anymore. I’d suggest reading more through the blog and forum to see more in-depth answers and discussion.

Anonymous: Same anon from before! I’m 23 and my “cherry” is still intact. Even now that I’m single, I can go without masturbating for months, but when I give into the pleasure, it’s the only hole I play with. Also,I know it’s wrong and I could hurt myself, but I like to coat my dildo with lots of oil and work it into my ass with barely any prep. The sensation is f- amazing.

Preparation is somewhat variable from person to person, and if you have enough experience and have developed conscious muscle control, you may really not need much. As long as you aren’t bleeding regularly from what you do and it doesn’t hurt in an “I just injured myself” sort of way, you’re probably fine.

That’s great that you only play with your ass still! Vaginal masturbation and sex are overrated!