The blog that originally posted this response is no longer available or able to be credited, so I unfortunately cannot reference it as it once was within Tumblr.

watcher66: It sounds like your early experiences with anal sex weren’t that great. When did butt sex begin to get better? What has been your best experience with anal intercourse so far?

Truthfully, having sex got better when my masturbation got better. I know that might sound silly, but it’s completely true. When you know your own body, you know how to communicate with your partner. You can tell them what feels good and how things can be adjusted to make it better.

My best experience was at a local fetish party. It had been intended to just be a bunch of people who happened to be kinky getting together to watch a movie and chat; there wasn’t supposed to be any sex involved. Somehow the movie never got started and people started splitting off in pairs or groups to go to various rooms in the house to play and sex. My memory is fuzzy on the lead up because it was quite awhile ago, but I remember being on the couch with a couple beside me. They were into BDSM and switched with each other, but at the time she was acting as the submissive and he was acting as the dominant. He was using a violet wand on her and she was bent over next to me on the couch as he did it. She took my hand in hers as she sunk further into subspace and he and I began to chat.

He asked about my kinks and the like and I told him about the bad experiences I’d had with anal but how I still wanted to try it again. He shared some info and tips on how to do it better so that it would feel right. At first I thought he was just bragging, you know? Everyone says they’re good in bed and only some of them really are. But his wife assured me that it was true, he was very good at making anal feel amazing. I would never have suggested it because I never want to cross the wrong line or be presumptuous, but both of them suggested that he and I find somewhere private and he could fuck me and show me how it’s supposed to be done. I double-checked that they were both alright with that and they promised they were, so he and I found an empty bedroom and had anal sex.

It was a wonderful experience that I’m so thankful to have had. He made sure we went slow and that it didn’t hurt and really coached me throughout. He was very patient and kind, and the sex itself was pretty much exactly what I’d been wanting (except for having an anal orgasm but hey perfection isn’t always possible). Before I left that night I gave them both a big hug and thanked them for allowing me to have that experience. It was basically the one that showed me that what I’d always fantasized about was possible. I’d felt like giving up after the not-so-great experiences my freshman year of college, like maybe it would never be as good in reality as it was in my head, but he showed me differently and I’m super grateful to him for doing that and to his wife for allowing it!

Anonymous: I guess I have the opposite question of the last one you answered… how much does a girl being AO factor into your attraction to her? By that I mean, if two women wanted to go out with you and one was AO but not otherwise attractive (in your opinion, obviously attraction is relative), while the other was drop-dead gorgeous but would never do anal, would you go out with the unattractive one? Or say no to both?

A love of anal or desire to be anal only is one of many attributes I find appealing in a potential partner. At this point, I’m not interested in someone not open to at least trying anal only, but simply being anal only isn’t an automatic guarantee I want to go out with that person either. Sexual compatibility is very important but not the only important aspect of a relationship.

ao-serendipity: So far my plan has been to spend at least thirty minutes each day on my training, and I’m proud to say that I haven’t missed a day yet. I just finished today’s session about a half hour ago, and I can really tell I’m making progress. I’ve been using a small dildo each day, working on adjusting not only to the size but to the feel of thrusting and being fucked. The “ride” has gotten smoother each day, but today especially I think I had a pretty big break through.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s felt really good each day, but today I guess I’ve progressed enough to hit this milestone, or maybe I just found the perfect angle, but I came very, very close to having a pure anal orgasm. Unfortunately, for whatever reason I was having trouble crossing that final peak and I gave in and stimulated my clit to finish myself off. I’m not proud of that; I know it’s normal to need it in this early stage of training, but I feel like maybe I gave in too early and should’ve kept trying with just the dildo. I’ve never been known for my great reserves of willpower anyway, so I guess I should’ve foreseen that.

But the fact that I got that close tells me that I’m on the right path. I’m hoping that within the next week I’ll be able to go all the way with just anal stimulation. Still, tonight was pretty amazing!!

Anonymous: Thinking of getting a tattoo right above my pussy that says “keep out”.

I approve. Do it! Anal only tattoos are a lot of fun and very sexy. Certainly not necessary for everyone, by any means, but if you like tattoos and want to symbolize your anal only status with one, why not?

ao-serendipity: In the past, I’ve had a nasty habit of starting my anal training only to get a week or two in and then stop. It’s never a good reason, I just start worrying that I’ll never find a partner willing to be Anal Only, so why am I bothering to train my asshole for it?

But that was before I knew Anal Only was a thing. All this time I thought I was strange for never wanting vaginal sex and that no one would want me as a partner because they would feel like I was limiting them when I said “only in my ass.” But now that I know there are others like me and that there are people who would love to have a partner who was Anal Only, I think it’s finally time for me to make the commitment.

No more pussy, and as little clit as possible as I train myself to orgasm anally with the goal to phase it out altogether. From here on out, my ass is open for business and my vagina is absolutely not.

Feel free to keep me accountable, I promise I will thank you for it.

Anonymous: I would never penetrate an anus, under any circumstances

What are you doing here, then? Seriously, what’s the point of a message like this? If your response to the idea of the anal only lifestyle is a reinforcement of your personal opposition to anal sex, why not just close the window and move on with your life?

Anonymous: Just how important is it for your partner to be “anal only”? If you met somebody you really connect with and loved, but they were totally against anal sex, would you still seek somebody who was “anal only” before you got to know them?

Speaking personally, it’s pretty important for me. It goes beyond just preference for me in a way, to the point that it’s almost a type of orientation in a way—I’m anally oriented. This is a large part of why I bring up the fact that I’m anal only very early on in new relationships—not up front, but once there’s enough of an initial connection that we progress to talking about sex. So far since I’ve been anal only, if there hasn’t been a mutual interest in anal early on, relationships haven’t gone very far past that point.

In theory it’s possible that if I met the right person and we hit it off really well and they just seemed amazing but wasn’t interested in anal… well, I don’t know. It’s easy to say right now that I wouldn’t be interested in a relationship if they weren’t open to anal only, but when in the moment with someone I really liked in every other way, it’s possible that I could convince myself giving up anal only wouldn’t be so bad if that’s what it took to be with this person.

However, the fact is that it is important to me, and mutual sexual satisfaction is an important part of most healthy relationships. If anal only is such an important component of a relationship to me, getting into a long term relationship where that has no chance of happening is just a path to disappointment and resentment down the road once the initial infatuation wears off and now I’m in a relationship with someone I have greater emotional ties to but am not sexually compatible with. That’s been my thinking on the subject so far, at least. I haven’t met the person who could change my mind.

Anonymous: I love ass and the thought of doing anal. However, my wife is kind of put off by the idea of it. Any suggestions?

Why is she put off by it? Fear of uncleanliness? Concern about pain or discomfort? Social or religious stigma surrounding anal? Talk to her and figure out what exactly her resistance to it is. Good communication is key, both in general to gain the mutual trust to try something new sexually, and for anal sex to be enjoyable. If you try to figure it out together and make it clear that it’s not just something you want for yourself but something you’d like to learn to enjoy together at a pace she’s comfortable with, maybe she’ll be more amenable to trying.

Anonymous: How can you manage the poop problem when doing anal, besides using enemas? I wanna try anal but the presence of poop, even if it’s just smell, scares me

With a balanced diet containing a healthy amount of fiber, most people’s rectum—which is where the vast majority of anal play and sex takes place—is going to be empty except right before you go to the bathroom. There is always the possibility of trace amounts of feces, but even this can be minimized.

Using a dildo, or wearing a butt plug for 15 or 20 minutes before having sex as part of your preparation can provide you with an opportunity to check and confirm your cleanliness.

A small, quick anal douche with just enough water to flush out the rectum without continuing to the level of a full enema is used by some to ensure cleanliness, but is not necessarily required for most.

colewildet: What would be a good way to ask/talk my girlfriend into trying anal?

First, read a lot of articles about anal sex best practices, especially those focusing on the recipient enjoying it. Different articles suggest different things, so it’s good to read multiple to get a good overview. Educate yourself on good anal technique, and approach the subject with the intent and determination of making it enjoyable for her. In general, this is going to mean being patient, going slowly and being aware of any discomfort on her part.

Once you’ve gotten a basic overview and what to do and what not to do… well, talk to her. She’s your girlfriend. You should be able to communicate your desires to her. Ask her if she’d like to try anal. If she has hesitations, ask her what they are. Don’t just make it about what you want, approach it from the perspective of wanting to try something new together and wanting to make sure that both of you enjoy it. If she still has concerns, have her also read some articles on enjoying anal. If she’s curious but doesn’t want to jump right in, try introducing some anal play into your sex life without pushing for anal intercourse yet (this is usually best anyway, easing into anal with more gradual play for a while at first).