Anonymous: I want to start doing anal, what do you recommend to train my butt? I want to walk around all day with a butt plug

Start by fingering your ass regularly when you masturbate. When you can fit a few fingers in, upgrade to a butt plug. Try something like the Tantus Ryder or something of a similar size (1.5″ max diameter) for your first plug. Wear it while masturbating, and for as long as it’s comfortable, then take it out, and try for longer the next time. Keep repeating this, gradually increasing how long you can keep it in, and you’ll get more and more comfortable with it long term. Try to incorporate some dildo play into the mix as well too, and as you get able to fit things the size of penises in your solo play with no pain or discomfort, you’ll probably be ready to move to having anal with a guy.

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have tried jumping to anal rather quickly because she wanted to try it, I had penetrated her ass a few times but she made me stop within the first few seconds but she’s determined to make it work out so she told me she wanted to try a butt plug, so I bought one and have tried it three different times we had vaginal sex and she loved it all three times, she plans on wearing it during her work shift tomorrow so I’m excited to see the progression we make in the coming weeks!

Nice, that’s great that she wants to stick with it. I definitely encourage slowing it down and working her up gradually and making sure she’s always enjoying it rather than trying to push towards having anal sex immediately. Using a plug and wearing it regularly is a great step towards that. As she gets comfortable with that more regularly, try advancing to a dildo as well. If the two of you stick with it, I’m sure you’ll both be enjoying anal sex soon.

Anonymous: You mentioned using albolene as a lubricant. I had never even heard of it before. I have looked in to it and have one question. Is it ok to use with toys? Will it damage or degrade them in any way?

I believe @slutprogrammer mentioned that in a response to a post of mine. Perhaps he can chime in with more information about Albolene.

It’s likely fine with silicone, glass and steel—I don’t know about other, cheaper types of common sex toy materials.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received this reply:

slutprogrammer: Happy to chime in! It’s not good with latex or jelly, but I’d say both of those materials kinda suck anyway. It’s not supposed to be good with rubber, but in my experience it’s ok if you wash it afterward. Over a looooong time it can harden up, but I think we both know you’ll get other toys by then. My favorite material is “PF blend” by Perfect Fit. It is a silicone blend with thermoplastic elastomer. Much like rubber, it’s not officially ok for petroleum lube, but practically speaking it’s not terrible if you wash it well.

Anonymous: How do you handle anal so much. We have been anal only since November and my wife can only manage twice a week. We use plenty of lube (coconut oil) and I don’t *think* I’m that rough. We’ve been having anal for years and just recently pretty much on accident went anal only.

dumbandpretty: Baths, regular use of a butt plug, and regular enemas.

Frequent practice is a big factor. Even if you’ve been doing anal for years, if you take long breaks in between, she’ll tighten back up between and can get sore as a result. Try using a plug to warmup before having sex, and using it at least once a day for at least half an hour even if not having sex that day. Over time, you should be able to start having it more frequently as she feels comfortable doing so.

Anonymous: It does excite me to go anal only. Not just because I was demanded but because it seems more enjoyable! Thank you for answering my question.

Then yes—if it excites you and you find it more enjoyable, I wholeheartedly encourage you to go anal only and stop using your pussy!

Enjoy and have fun with it!

Anonymous: I prefer anal and would be perfectly fine with being anal only. The wife loves both with vaginal taking the lead slightly. Through practice we’ve increased anal from once a month to 4x+, we do it especially when she’s on her period. I’m trying to get her to go all the way, but she’s not receptive. Any suggestions?

If she enjoys both and doesn’t want to give up vaginal, don’t push her to do so. You can try and see if she’d ever be open to a few weeks or a month of anal only just to try it out, but if not, don’t push it further.

Instead, focus on making sure she really enjoys the times that you do have anal sex. Express your appreciation for her ass and make her feel really sexy and desired when you have anal. Essentially, do the best you can to make anal fantastic for her and over time she may gradually want to start doing it more.

Most couples who end up anal only don’t just suddenly get there—anal only trial months can be a fantastic way to introduce someone to the idea if both partners are willing to try it, and sometimes it’s so much fun that they decide to keep going from there, but far more commonly, it’s a gradual approach over time with anal becoming more of a priority long term until they either naturally or consciously end up eliminating the vaginal. And not everyone gets there either, some people really value vaginal as well as anal. But focusing on her anal pleasure and trying to make it really fantastic for her every time won’t hurt anybody and she’ll appreciate it regardless of whether she ends up preferring anal over vaginal or wanting it exclusively.

Anonymous: First I just would like to say happy holidays and I love your blog. I’ve been having anal sex for a long time but for some of the men especially the last one I slept with wants to do anal only, he even demanded it. So should I give up vaginal 4ever?

Happy holidays to you as well, and thank you!

Do you want to go anal only? Does the idea interest and excite you? Does it satisfy your own desires? If the answer is yes to any of those, then you might consider trying anal only for a few months as a trial period of sorts. If you’re still enjoying it and having a good time with it at the end of that trial period, then consider making it more indefinite. I’m not really a fan of absolutes, like declaring (seriously, outside of a fantasy realm or dirty talk) that you’ll never, ever do something again and closing yourself off the the possibility of changing your mind. Instead, I advocate doing what works for you now, but if down the road it ever stops being fun and amazing for you, being open to change if change is what you need. If you end up never wanting vaginal again, then great—but if anal only ever stops being fun for someone and becomes a chore instead of a joy, then I think it’s foolish for someone to continue with it. And that applies to anything, including vaginal sex for some people. But I digress.

Don’t go anal only because somebody else demands it, do it because you want it.

Anonymous: What are the best plugs for training your ass for every day use? I’d like to start training my ass but I’m not sure which plugs to purchase. Thank you ❤️ love your blog

There aren’t really any “best” plugs, it all comes down to personal choice and what works best for you. I usually recommend training with fingers first, and once you can fit three fingers fairly easily, upgrading to a plug at that point—otherwise you’ll probably end up getting a plug that’s really small and both won’t stay in place very well and you’ll outgrow pretty quickly. Once you can fit three fingers, consider something in the 1.5″ maximum diameter range.

There are multiple quality options around this size, including but not limited to the Tantus Ryder, Doc Johnson Mood Naughty and the Implicit Creations Core Plug (these are all silicone plugs, but stainless steel and glass options can be very good as well—but they don’t have any give or flexibility to them, obviously, and so can sometimes be harder for beginners to get used to). Jeweled/”Princess” plugs are a popular first plug for a lot of people because they’re visually appealing, but a lot of people find that the round/sharp edged base can get uncomfortable after a while if you’re wearing them long term, and the neck is usually very narrow, so it doesn’t hold open the anal sphincter very much and isn’t as useful as a training plug.

I would avoid the super cheap options outside of silicone, glass or stainless steel. A lot of cheap sex toy materials aren’t very body safe and can smell bad and sometimes even cause a burning skin reaction, so it’s best to go with a good quality material from the start.

Once you have a plug, you may not be able to wear it long term just yet (or you might—everybody’s different). Start by wearing it when you masturbate. Then try keeping it in longer. If it starts to get too uncomfortable to keep in, take it out and try it longer the next time. Try sleeping with it in. The more you practice with it, the longer you’ll be able to comfortably fit it. If you go out with it in, you may want to carry a small bottle of lube with you to reapply if it starts to dry out/get absorbed and you need to add more.

Have fun and enjoy!

Anonymous: Anal Only September girl here again, this time with super happy news! I’m going to get ass”raped” by my Dom on Sunday and I’m sssssooooooo excited for it!!!!! Moral of the story every girl should do an anal only month 🙂

Congratulations, have fun! It’s not clear from what you’ve said if you ended up staying anal only after your trial month, or if you’ve returned to a mix but find yourself craving and enjoying anal more after doing it exclusively for a month.

Either way, I agree, every girl (and couple) should try at least a month of anal only. Many find they love it as a result, often after never even really considering it before that.

Hi, your post about “The Many Roads Leading to the Anal Only Lifestyle” is very true, I myself belong to two categories. I got into anal to stay a virgin until marriage, but then I fell in love with my sex friend. When we started talking about marriage, I told him about having vaginal sex after we’re husband and wife, but he didn’t want to hear about it – he’s actually not even into clitoral stimulation, even if he loves lengthily licking my asshole.

We argued about it for a few weeks, but then I noticed he was more and more dominant in bed. In fact, he’s always believed I was anal only because I liked it, and the idea anal was “forced” on me while I really wanted vaginal and clitoral sex obviously turned him on, especially since I’m still a virgin… Somehow, this misunderstanding made him much more passionate, sex got really hotter, and he also became more caring and protective with me.

The situation started to please and turn me on a lot, too. That was six months ago (I actually wrote to you about it in June), we got married in August. I’m still a vaginal virgin, obviously we’re still an anal only couple, and we’re also a dominant/submissive couple, mostly in bed but also partly in life. It’s crazy, because I got into anal to save my virginity for my husband so my marriage gets as perfect and romantic as possible, and it’s somehow what happened, but not how I had imagined.

Thanks so much for the followup submission. Congratulations on getting married, and I’m so glad everything worked out so well and in a mutually satisfactory way for the both of you. It sounds like you made the right decision to stay anal only!