Anonymous: Hi! Female, 27, loved your blog for years before realizing it was what I needed and decided to act on it. A couple years ago when you had a No Pussy November, I asked my boyfriend to try going AO for a month, and he agreed. Long story short, he hasn’t fucked my pussy since and we both love the results. I enjoy sex much more now and can cum from it, I’m a lot hornier and we fuck most days, and last year I decided to stop using my clit and am still going with that. Thank you so much for your blog!

You’re welcome! That’s awesome, congratulations on trying it out and figuring out that it’s exactly right for you! Keep it up!

Anonymous: So a few days ago me and my boyfriend tried to have anal. I was really excited to try it and when we tried, it felt so horrible. But i dont mean the pain. I actually mean the feeling. It felt like i have to go to the toilet really badly, so i couldn’t enjoy. So we stopped and i went to the bathroom, but the feeling was gone. I didn’t have to go to the toilet. Is this normal? Or what can i do? (Excuse for my english, it isnt that much good)

This happens to some people at first. If you don’t have any previous anal experience, all your other experience with sensations in that area is going to the bathroom, so it can make sense that your initial experiences with anal sex may feel like you have that urge.

To overcome this, try masturbating anally while also playing with your clit in whatever way you find most pleasurable. Combine those sensations and explore what is most enjoyable. Try to give yourself orgasms while simultaneously playing with your ass. With a little more experience, you should be able to unlock anal pleasure and enjoy it rather than having it be uncomfortable. When you do try sex again, play with your clit during that as well, at least at first. Sometimes once you start building that association with pleasure, you may not need your clit anymore—other times, you might want to continue combining it with anal. It’s a matter of personal preference and differences.

Also, make sure you’re using enough lube—not enough lube can cause a similar feeling sometimes.

Anonymous: I am in love with anal and wanna try it as soon as possible with my bf .I wanna ask that should I wash my anal before having his dick inside or it doesn’t matter and can I leave his sperm inside ?Also I wanna ask is the feeling of anal sex is different between male and female?

Washing out your rectum with a douche or a small enema is a matter of personal preference and depends how concerned you are about being sure you’re 100% clean vs. just going to the bathroom ahead of time and knowing you’re most likely clean and not worrying about it beyond that. If you want to check in advance, you can just use a dildo in your ass for a minute or two before sex and confirm that it’s clean.

You can leave his semen inside—it won’t cause any harm to you—but do note that there is a slim but not nonexistent chance of pregnancy if it leaks out later and runs into your vagina. If he ejaculates deep enough inside you, it’s more likely to just stay inside and be absorbed into you, or if you put a butt plug in after to keep it inside.

Anonymous: omg, I didn’t know there were other people who felt like this too! All my life I’ve felt like vaginal sex didn’t seem right and I always played with my ass instead and asked guys to fuck me there, but a lot of them treated me like I was a freak for preferring it. One guy even said I should just be a gay man if I only want to get fucked in the ass, so I kind of stopped pushing it. You don’t know how happy I am to find this blog and see there are others out there too. How many of us are there?

I’m sorry you’ve had those experiences, that’s really unfortunate how some ignorant people behave towards women who prefer and only want anal. Most men would be thrilled to meet a woman who doesn’t want to have vaginal sex and only wants anal, I think. Keep trying, and stand up for and be up front about what you want and need. If someone doesn’t respect that, they don’t deserve you.

I’m glad this blog has encouraged you about the normalcy of your desires—that is part of its goal, to provide a place for all the many people who share this same preference to realize they aren’t alone and that it’s okay to be anal only and they aren’t a freak. I don’t know how many of us are out there, but it’s certainly growing in popularity all the time and no doubt many more are still quiet about being AO than those who talk about it in public.

Anonymous: I don’t mean any disrespect to people who like vaginal sex, but I honestly don’t get it. I tried it for a few years before I discovered anal, but I could never cum from it and always had to rub my clit during sex or finish on my own after he was done. With anal, I don’t need my clit at all and guys like it a lot better too when I tell them I only want them to fuck my ass. I’ve had more than one tell me guys don’t really like pussy either and always prefer anal. So why keep fucking pussy?

Everybody is different, both physically and mentally. A combination of physical and experiential differences lead to different preferences and needs. People should do what works for them. You and I (and a lot of other people, it seems like) enjoy anal only and dislike vaginal, but not everyone does, and I doubt everyone ever will (though there is certainly plenty of room in the world for more people to enjoy positive experiences with anal and discover that they love it up the butt too). I suggest you don’t worry about people who want to have vaginal sex, and simply enjoy the fact that you don’t. Share your preferences with others in a positive way if you like and you may encourage some people to try it themselves, but don’t put people down if they like something different.

Anonymous: As a girl who would like nothing more than to be kept strictly anal only, why is it so hard to find guys who like that idea? I thought guys liked anal best and would give anything to have it as much as possible, but from my experiences and talking with my friends, it seems like women like it way more than men. Is this true?

I don’t know who likes anal more, to be honest. I know a lot of guys do, and a lot of girls do, but depending on your region and its culture, interest in anal may be significantly greater or lesser than other areas. Generally, in coastal urban areas, more people of all genders are far more open to anal, while in central and rural areas it’s less popular and harder to find a compatible partner, regardless of your gender.

Despite the common idea that all men want anal and no women do, I suspect the men and women who want an anal only relationship are both a similarly-sized group and both a minority currently. Guys might be more likely to accept the idea quickly when newly exposed to it, though.

Good luck, I hope you manage to find a compatible partner. I guarantee you there are guys out there who would love to meet a girl like you.

Anonymous: Hi, I am wondering about your recent answer where it looks like you wrote “I am not a woman.” I thought this blog was written by a woman, but now I am confused!

It’s not. I’m a guy and always have been. If anyone thought I was a woman, that was an assumption, because I’ve never claimed to be.

Anonymous: Hey I am a 23 year old girl I love anal sex only or oral. I talked to my boyfriend and he also wanna try anal with me. Few days ago when I had first blowjob, his dick was really big from the normal size which I think will hurt me. I have been practicing with sex toys but not so much. What should I do? And can I go deep inside?

Keep practicing with toys and work to increase the size you can fit more and more over time until you are comfortable with things about size of his penis. The first time you try it with him, work up to his size immediately before with toys, then try switching to his penis. Push out as he pushes in, as if you’re going to the bathroom, to help relax your anal muscles further. Of course, use lots of lube. If it starts to hurt, just stop where you are and try to relax around him until the pain fades, then continue moving. Repeat as necessary until he’s all inside, then slowly start moving him in and out. Rub your clit if you need to, it can help you relax and enjoy the sensations when you’re first getting started with anal.

You can go as deep as you want as long as it doesn’t hurt. Don’t force anything, and if it starts to hurt, just pause a moment and try again more slowly while trying to relax. You don’t want to injure yourself, and pain is a warning sign that you might not be relaxed enough or “trained” enough yet to do something, but keep trying gradually and you can get there.

Good luck and have fun!

Up until a year ago I was an anal virgin. My current boyfriend opened my mind and my ass. I love anal sex and since we started i have been doing it more than vaginal (i still passionately blow him). After finding this blog i have some advice and one question.

Advice: Girls, never let a guy push you. A good anal lover allows you to take him in the ass willingly rather than taking your ass without being asked to. Once you have established trust you can go full-on submissive anal slut if you like, but make sure it is on your terms. You will enjoy it more, believe me.

Question: Are there any women out there who have experience with ass-to-mouth? The idea turns me on and I would love to surprise my bf with it (I surprised him with anal and he got so hot) but i do not want any health issues or messy things happening. How do you prepare for that kind of thing?

Glad to hear you’ve had wonderful anal experiences and are enjoying it more than vaginal (not that that’s uncommon!). Nearly everyone who identifies as anal only still practices various forms of oral sex, just to be clear—the name “anal only” can be confusing, but in almost all uses just refers to an exclusion of vaginal sex.

Thank you for sharing the excellent advice about not being pushed into anal. Hesitation or fear or disinterest in anal often leads to being tense and less relaxed when you try it, which in turn makes it far more likely to be painful or uncomfortable and not build positive anal experiences that leave you wanting and needing more. Do anal if and because you want to, and you’re far more likely to enjoy it and want to keep doing it for the rest of your life.

I am not a woman, and women should absolutely respond to this with their own experiences as well, but I can share my own advice about ass to mouth. Preparation comes down to personal choice, usually—some will only do it if they have anally douched or had an enema beforehand to ensure they are perfectly clean inside. Others who are just generally naturally clean most of the time will do it if their partner is visibly clean upon removal. In both my personal experience and conversations with others who do ass to mouth both solo with toys and with partners, I haven’t encountered any health issues doing it when visibly clean.

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I want to try anal for the first time. We’re sexually active since not a long time but we’re really open with each other and I know he’ll be gentle but how can I make this work? Like, how can I make sure he won’t hit poop or anything like that during anal? How can I “get ready” for it beside relaxing? (sorry if that’s a weird or gross question)

Go to the bathroom an hour before. If you have a generally healthy, balanced diet, that’s probably all you’ll need to do, because the rectum, where most anal sex takes place, stays empty unless you need to go to the bathroom. Some will use a small anal douche to lightly flush out the rectum as well, but this isn’t strictly necessary for everyone. Depends on your own personal preferences and needs.