Hi! I’m the vaginal virgin who wrote to you one year ago, tag 20160604. Since it’s thanks to you that I realized I didn’t really want vaginal sex and my husband and I eventually got married, I felt like giving you an update! I’m still a vaginal virgin, we’re still obviously anal only, and we’re extremely happy.

In a year, we started to think about having kids, and the big update is we decided to adopt! We weighted everything that could cause problems: lack of genetic link, possibilities and delays for adoption in our situation, what to tell our families, cost, etc. It may seem excessive or weird, but the deciding factor was my husband just couldn’t sacrifice my virginity. He once told me he couldn’t begin to express into words how important it was to him, and not just sexually, that I stayed a virgin forever, that only my ass and mouth have ever been penetrated my whole life.

When I wrote to you, I was distressed because I felt I was missing something but it’s not the case any more. I just stopped thinking about it, to me my vagina and clitoris are actually less sexual than my feet, which my man loves to lick while he takes my ass in missionary! They’re actually more like my belly button: I wouldn’t look right without them, but they’re biological remains that don’t serve any sort of purpose, and only get touched for hygiene.

I still have my hymen, and my husband treasures it, he said he’d buy surgery if it ever gets damaged. The only time he manipulates my pussy is to check if my hymen is still intact. That way, he jokes, I would have to get fucked in the ass if I ever want to cheat on him, and then he doesn’t really mind!

So, everything is great. I don’t even mind adopting at all, to me biological links don’t mean anything, and it’s a relief that I can 100% forget about vaginal, it nearly made me turn down the love of my life!

Thanks very much for the update! It sounds like things have worked out very well for the both of you, which is wonderful to hear. Since preserving your vaginal virginity is important to the both of you, I’m glad to hear that you’ve found a solution that satisfies that requirement and otherwise works for you as well.

According to an announcement sent out today, Tumblr will be blocking public access for non-logged in users to all adult-oriented blogs on July 5. This means that if you are not a logged-in Tumblr user, you will no longer be able to access this blog, and presumably it will disappear in Google search results as well, meaning people will no longer be able to search for “anal only” and have it come up. Unfortunately, this has been a way that many anal only individuals have been able to find this community and discover that they aren’t alone and there are many others of us out there as well. A significant amount of my traffic is via Google—over 3,000 people per day find this blog by searching for related topics. That will disappear overnight if non-Tumblr users are blocked from viewing the blog, as presumably that will also exclude search crawlers from properly indexing it anymore.

Hi, it’s again the housewife whose husband went anal only. My husband and I never talked about masturbation, it’s just something that I instinctively avoided before. During sex, I never rubbed my clitoris for example because I felt it would be rude to masturbate when you make love – I’d rather have my partner do it or not have it at all. And masturbating alone was weird to me for a married woman. That attitude probably helped me when my husband started to ignore my clitoris and orgasm needs.

Anyway, I did what I said in my previous message, I started masturbating my ass just before the time I knew my husband would come home from work so he “surprises” me. It was amazing. He just smiled at me and sat on a chair, looking awesome in his work suit, and told me to keep going. After a while, he took his cock out of his suit and started to jack off slowly, it was so hot. Then he joined me, removed the dildo from my ass, put it in my mouth, and fucked me like that, all dressed up.

We’ve never done anything so hot, me naked and him still in his suit, one hand gripping my hips while he fucked my ass and his other hand pushing and pulling the dildo out of my mouth. We did talk a lot after that, like I hoped. He told me that, as you predicted, he always preferred anal sex, to the point he was looking forward to my periods to have an excuse to fuck my ass rather than my pussy.

Then he said after I gave birth to our son, my “cunt got way too loose” (when he said that I felt humiliated and turned on at the same time, I blushed and felt a tingle in my ass, it was weird), and he realized he couldn’t stand vaginal sex any longer and wanted sex to be more about him and his own pleasure – so, he switched our sex little by little to check if I was OK with it, but he said he never thought I’d enjoy it to the point of masturbating anally when he wasn’t around.

He said he’ll buy a butt plug for me to wear so I’m not as frustrated when he can’t fuck me, and he’ll make sure to fuck my ass more frequently and harder. I then said everything you told me to say, that I love that we’ve only been having anal sex and that I want to stay that way, that it confused me at first and I felt some frustration, but the frustration turned into arousal, and I enjoyed our new sex and the denial of things he didn’t care about, and I added I would do anything for him.

After that, we made love again, then he asked if I’d be OK with more new stuff, like tying me up (“of course dear”). It’s funny how when I wrote to you, I wondered how to tell him I still wanted vaginal and clitoral stimulation and orgasms, and the end result is I’ve accepted those are gone for good and I’ll get much more anal. But I feel really great about it, relaxed.

I do have an advice for girls who can’t get into anal, though: try having enemas, it’s really what triggered it for me. I had problems opening up before and feeling free to push my ass muscles because I feared I may not be clean, but using a small anal douche really helped me feel more comfortable, and allowed me to both open wide and contract around my husband’s cock to bring him more pleasure.

Anyway, thanks a LOT for your feedback. I felt completely lost and “abnormal”, and now I feel great, like both me and my husband found our right place! Funny how my son’s birth reignited our sexuality! Kisses!

It sounds like communicating was a positive experience with a positive outcome for you both, and you’re both happier and know where each other stand as a result. Congratulations to the both of you, I’m sure you’ll both have a wonderful time exploring your new anal only life together.

banvaginal: Honestly if you aren’t going ass to mouth then what are you doing

Hi, I’m the wife who wrote the lengthy message. It never occurred to me that I may be submissive, it explains a lot. It’s true that I have traditional views on marriage: when I got pregnant and my husband promoted into a higher paid job, I quit my own job to take care of my son/the house/my husband, and honestly, I’m planning to stay a housewife for a while. I feel at my place. Come to think of it, my husband started to be more assertive in bed and focus more on anal after I quit.

Since now he’s the one bringing the money and handling work, I do think I have to be there for him to relax when he gets home – it was a major reason why I never protested or questioned his shift to anal sex, even when it got to anal only. Honestly, I’ve never seen him happier, and I do sort of feel like it’s my responsibility he stays that way. From what you say, you think I should try to stop fantasizing about my vagina and clitoris? What about my masturbation sessions?

Even though I now strictly masturbate anally with no clit/pussy stimulation, I feel like I’m doing something wrong like I’m cheating on him, but I really like it, especially after an enema. I could never tell him about my clit/pussy frustration though, it’s like I’d question/spoil all the sex we’ve had these past months, but I’d like to confess about masturbating and start a conversation about sex, but without him feeling I disapprove or anything.

I’m thinking about acting like I forgot the time while masturbating and he gets home and catch me like this. It should please him, I could confess (never about masturbating my vag/clit though, I feel ashamed of it now), and it could start a conversation? What do you think? Thank you for helping me. It feels great when you say this is all normal.

I agree, it does sound as though you have some sexually submissive tendencies, which are very normal and natural for many women, and satisfying those tendencies and urges by being submissive to your partner can help to make you feel satisfied and happy as well. Ultimately, you should only do this if it’s also what you want, though. Some women are anal only because they prefer anal and enjoy how it feels more than vaginal or because they get a thrill out of denying themselves vaginal sex and focusing exclusively on anal pleasure. Other women do it because it’s what their partner wants and they get pleasure and satisfaction out of pleasing their partner more than from the specific physical acts of sex. Both situations, or a hybrid of each, are fine, as long as you’re okay and happy with the arrangement too.

If further adopting and embracing the anal only lifestyle is what you want to pursue, then yes, I would encourage you to stop fantasizing about clit and pussy stimulation and work to develop your natural anal urges instead, focusing and fantasizing about it as well during sex and masturbation. I encourage anal only masturbation sessions, myself, and I certainly don’t see them as any sort of cheating on your partner, unless you’ve agreed with each other that you will not masturbate. Has your husband shown any indication in the past of not wanting you to masturbate? More reasons to communicate with each other: you’ll both know where you stand on such topics. If there is concern about it being some sort of cheating, you can frame your masturbation as so loving his cock in your ass that you sometimes need to use a toy as a surrogate until you can get the real thing from him again.

I definitely do encourage starting to talk about things with him if you want to discuss anything or explore further together. You can start simple: just tell him how much you love that you’ve only been having anal sex and that you want to stay that way. With time you might even be able to talk about still having some vaginal and clitoral urges, but being sure to frame the conversation with the reassurance that you enjoy having those urges and denying them and don’t want to go back to using your pussy and clit, but that it’s a turn on to have them denied. I’m putting words into your mouth a bit here, and you should express yourself honestly instead, but am just trying to give a bit of an example of how you can talk about these things with him without framing it negatively or making him feel bad about something you seem to be enjoying a lot.

The anal only community is growing all the time. More and more people are embracing it, or coming out and talking about the fact they’ve been anal only for quite some time already. The reality is that many men and women significantly prefer anal, or enjoy the many benefits of vaginal and clitoral denial and exclusively having anal and oral sex. We aren’t a majority yet by any means, but there are many of us out there, and it continues to be further normalized. If you are happy with and enjoy your anal only arrangement with your husband, there’s no reason to feel bad or doubt yourself over it.

Feel free to continue communicating here if you wish, and you may also want to check out the Anal Only Lifestyle Forums where you can communicate with many other members of the community.

Hi. I’m confused lately and I thought you may provide some useful feedback. I’m married and my husband and I got our first child six months ago, and ever since that time, my husband paid less and less attention to my pussy and clit, and more and more to my asshole. We’ve always had occasional anal, especially when I was on my period, but it went from something we did from time to time to something that happened systematically, to vaginal penetration being mere foreplay, to him ignoring my pussy and clit altogether and replacing them both with my asshole, both orally and for penetration. Before, he also always made sure I had an orgasm each time, and this stopped, too.

I enjoy anal, but I started to feel very frustrated, and I didn’t dare to talk to him about it. The change happened so gradually I feel I sort of gave my consent to it. So, I started masturbating both my pussy and clit when my husband wasn’t around, until something happened. I had an “accident” during anal penetration and I started doing enemas regularly to prevent that embarrassment from ever happening again. But then, my perception of anal started to change, and one month ago, as I was about to masturbate as usual, I started to feel horribly guilty, like I’ve been cheating on my husband all this time, and instead of masturbating my pussy and clit, I masturbated anally.

The sensation was great, and I stopped touching my pussy or clit. This had some effect in bed, I started to behave more… enthusiastically, and my husband loved it. We did our first ass to mouth two weeks ago, and since then it’s become a routine thing, and my sex life improved. But what’s weird is that I still masturbate when he’s not around (anally), and when I do it, I fantasize about him licking and fucking my pussy and clit, which makes me really hot.

It’s like I’m still frustrated, but my frustration makes me want to do anal sex even more. When I masturbate like this, I can get real rough with my ass, even though I never had an anal orgasm (I don’t have a clue about what it’s supposed to be), and I haven’t had a regular orgasm for at least four months now, which both frustrates and satisfies me. I’m really, really confused, and I feel like I’d break something if I talked to my husband about it. What’s happening to me? Thanks.

It sounds as though your husband very much prefers anal sex, and now that you have had a child, he is no longer interested in vaginal sex. This is a normal reaction for someone who prefers anal sex and views vaginal as more of a procreative act rather than recreative.

As for yourself, it sounds as though you have some submissive tendencies and are turned on and get pleasure from your husband’s pleasure and desires, as well as being turned on by denial and frustration. That’s quite common among women, anal only or otherwise. In your case it is manifesting as anal only because that is what your husband initiated and prefers, it sounds like.

Stick with it, embrace it, and become even more devoted to the anal only lifestyle. Work to change your fantasies to be anal only as well. You’ll love it even more, and so will he.

But also don’t feel afraid to talk to your husband. Communicate with him. Be open and honest, but also make it clear that you love the way you’ve become even if it confuses you.

Anonymous: My girlfriend is 100% anal only and made it very clear that under no exceptions or circumstances will she ever have any form of vaginal sex again. I love being AO too, but way too often I get annoying urges to fuck pussy again. Even tho anal is far better, it gets pretty distracting sometimes wanting to visit that stimulus change once more. She’ll never consider it, and I definitely want to stay AO too. What can help make sure I don’t get those urges?

Recognize when you get those urges and remind yourself that you don’t actually want pussy at all and it’s just an old habit flaring up and that you’re much happier getting all the anal you could ever want instead. Talk it over with your girlfriend as well, and tell her that you know she doesn’t want any vaginal sex ever, and neither do you, but that sometimes you get an urge for pussy which you don’t really want, but it still happens on occasion. Maybe she’ll have a suggestion as well for what to do in those situations. Perhaps there’s something else you or she would like to try incorporating which you could do when those urges flare up and use to replace any vaginal urges over time.

Anonymous: Matched with a girl on tinder a few days ago we started talking and eventually the topic of sex came up and I mentioned that I only have anal sex and I won’t do vaginal and she went on a rampage about how I’m an asshole and I’m disrespectful for expecting her to jump right into anal and I responded saying “im not expecting anything, I told you my preference and you don’t prefer that and that’s fine, if anyone here is being disrespectful it’s you for calling me an asshole for having a preference”

You’re right—there is nothing wrong with having an anal only preference and only having anal sex. You were being open and honest about your needs up front. If she isn’t interested, that’s perfectly fine. At least now you both know that you aren’t sexually compatible.

reeceolivers: I’m married & frequently on here. I truly appreciate your tips. Finally got the nerve to ask him to try anal only for a month. He acted like I took his favorite dessert off the menu. All of a sudden I felt ashamed like I did something wrong. We didn’t talk for days. He apologized & we’re back to talking & sex again infrequently b/c I don’t have much desire for it since. I can’t hold out completely b/c our marriage suffers when we aren’t intimate. Any advice for feeling resentful and deprived?

I’m sorry to hear that triggered a negative reaction from your partner. It can certainly be challenging when one person wants anal only and the other does not. Unless he is willing to give it a try occasionally (maybe for shorter periods of time than a month?), you may have to compromise. Instead of anal only, try for just having anal sex a bit more frequently, and be anal only in all your solo play. Over time, you can try to ramp up the anal more frequently together, and see if you end up there together naturally rather than abruptly switching to AO.

I wish you luck in coming up with a mutually acceptable solution to your desires.

Anonymous: The thing I like the most with anal sex is how girls can’t go back from it. In two years, I rewired my girlfriend so she has to get her ass plowed and her pussy and clit ignored to get off. We broke up three months ago, but recently she came back, begging me to fuck her because she couldn’t find a guy who would exclusively fuck her ass. We’re pure fuck buddies now, and what’s funny is one of the reasons she broke up was that I was “too rough”, but now I’m MUCH rougher and she can’t get enough.

That’s certainly true for some women, and less so for others. Some can never really go back to enjoying vaginal and need to be anal only to enjoy sex going forward. Others return to vaginal after being anal only and don’t have a problem. It depends on the original motivation for being anal only, most likely. If she’s AO because she prefers it physically or emotionally, she’ll likely want to stay that way for good. If, however, she does it because it’s what a partner prefers and her motivation is pleasing her partner, she’ll be much more likely to adapt to what new partners want.