Anonymous: I’ve been focusing on anal for many years now. I haven’t been 100% anal only because I had some occasional one-night stands that led to pussy fucking. But as time went by I grew a little upset with the idea that a girl could even *want* to have her pussy fucked, as if she was demanding something she wasn’t entitled to. It’s hard to explain, but it really started to annoy me, to the point I can’t even stand to watch it on porn. I see it as a selfish desire nowadays. Do you think this is healthy?

I do, so long as it is not negatively impacting you in any way. It sounds as though you greatly prefer anal and would like to be strictly anal only (even if there are some practical considerations for you), so thinking of vaginal as bad and wrong and selfish seems reasonable and appropriate and healthy for you and probably helps to reinforce your own anal only desires. So long as you recognize at some level that it’s everyone’s individual choice and even if you disapprove there isn’t anything you can do about the preferences of others, you’ll be fine.

Anonymous: Hello. After I gave birth to our son, vaginal sex has become really uncomfortable, and my gynaecologist recommended that my husband and I stopped vaginal sex for a few months. Our sex life was already very calm, so I asked him if there really was no alternative, and he said we could do anal sex if we were into that. Now it’s been a year and a half, and my husband still penetrates my ass only. I stumbled on his browser history and he watches anal porn a lot.

Hi, thanks for sharing your experience! That’s actually very common, vaginal sex becoming uncomfortable, painful, or losing all pleasure after giving birth. Among mothers, it’s probably the most common reason for going anal only. Since getting pregnant is the primary purpose of the vagina, it makes sense that once you have done so and had the children you are going to have, it stops becoming pleasurable to do so further, especially since you have a superior alternative—anal—for recreational sex.

It sounds like he’s perfectly happy with the arrangement, but you don’t mention your own thoughts about it. Is it satisfactory to you too?

Anonymous: I discovered you a few years back. Turned my life around and actually gave me a little bit more confidence when it came to dating! I can’t really explain it, but I just never found pussy attractive. I eventually discovered anal talking with a few friends and instantly fell in love with ass. I got a little upset over all the pussy fucking in anal porn which led to Anal Only! Proud to say I’ve never fucked a pussy and I’ll be keeping my anal streak strong! Thanks man!

Thanks, it’s an honor to hear that! I’m really glad to have helped you. Honestly, you sound like me when I was discovering my preference for anal and anal only, only I didn’t have any resources to discover that this was a natural urge and I wasn’t a weird freak for wanting anal only until later in life.

vickieiskinky: I’ve been sexual active for 3+ years and I’ve never had am orgasm. I really think that I’ve tried everything I can; masturbation of both my pussy and my ass, nipple play, but nothing. I really love anal, it’s my favorite way to mess around, I haven’t really been training my hole long but I can already feel the difference. Everything I do feels good, I just can’t ever seem to orgasm. Do you know of any thing that could help?

Focus on masturbating just your asshole from now on so that you can further develop that source of pleasure and potential orgasm trigger—while it’s possible to orgasm from multiple sources, anal orgasms are the best kind and focusing on developing your ass as your primary orgasm source at this point is best.

Otherwise, just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep chasing the pleasure, keep looking for things that feel particularly good when you fuck your ass and focus on doing those and see if you feel a building sensation that may ultimately end in orgasm, try different positions and angles, try masturbating your ass when you need to pee, and try it both on your own and with a partner.

But at the same time, don’t try to make having an orgasm be your priority all the time. The pressure of wanting that and frustration of it not happening can end up keeping yourself from cumming. So just enjoy the pleasure of getting your ass fucked, and over time you’ll probably get to where you can orgasm.

confessionkink: I am really into anal, like its the only thing that gets me off for some reason, i don’t enjoy men fucking my pussy any more and i don’t mind sucking dick but what really makes me cum like crazy is deep anal fucking. I wish i could just close off my pussy and be an anal only slut.

I almost always wear a butt plug everyday, when i masturbate i only fuck my ass, i even got an 18 inch double ended dildo that i take all of, i just push it in and enjoy how good it feels. I want to find a man that understands that i don’t want my pussy used at all.

Anonymous: I’m an AO woman and I just wanted to offer this to the ladies you’ve had recently in your inbox: you are allowed to control your own sexuality. If you don’t want to do something (whether it’s anal or vaginal or ANYTHING), you have the right to stand up for yourself and say so. If the person you’re with feels strongly otherwise, that’s also fine: everyone has their own sexual needs (which should be respected). But recognize that you’re incompatible this way, and move on. You’ll BOTH be happier.

Absolutely right!

Anonymous: I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if I just live in the wrong place but every time I see anal only girls posting about finding guys who are immediately happy with the idea and always wanted an anal only girl I get so jealous! I was anal only with my first boyfriend for three years and loved it but since we broke up and I’ve been dating I find it so hard to stay anal only now, it seems like every guy where I live wants pussy. What do I do?? I don’t want to start using my pussy.

Part of it is probably the location and the culture where you live influencing what men have experienced and are attracted to, but the way you approach it could be a factor as well.

Be up front, but not too up front that you scare people off. Get to know the guy a bit first, wait until sex as a general topic comes up naturally, and then bring up that you’re an anal only girl.

If you’re a vaginal virgin (it sounds like you are?) you could factor that in as well, telling him you don’t want to lose your vaginal virginity but you’d love to do anal with him as much as he wants. Some guys instinctively think that if they can’t have something, they want it. So try to frame it not so much around the limitation of no pussy but the positives instead: that he can get as much anal and oral as he wants from you.

If you have had vaginal but dislike it or find it painful (which is not uncommon), say so. Tell him that you really don’t like vaginal sex and it hurts you to do it, but anal feels amazing and you love doing it all the time. Most guys don’t want their partner to dislike or be in pain during sex, and if you explain that anal is simply what you need to enjoy sex, he should respect that if he’s a decent guy.

If, after you’ve explained your needs and requirements sexually, he still pushes for your pussy, he’s not a guy you’d want to be dating or having sex with anyway.

Anonymous: Hi! I (22f) am a virgin but started seeing a guy for a few weeks and I’ve been sucking his cock but he wants more, so I suggested we just do anal and oral because I want to keep my pussy virgin, and he was so happy! His face lit up and he said I was his dream girl and he wanted to help make sure my pussy stayed unfucked and he would turn me into his anal only slut. We’re going to start training my ass tonight and I’m so excited. Wish me luck, and thank you for your blog inspiring me!!

Hi! That sounds absolutely wonderful, he’s lucky to be with a girl like you, and you’re lucky he was so happy to go for exactly what you wanted! It sounds like you’ll both be in for a good time, and you absolutely have my good luck wish—though I don’t think you’ll need it, you’re going to love being anal only!

Anonymous: My goal is to go anal only. But my boyfriend doesn’t like anal and wants to fuck my pussy. It’s so annoying.. anyways.. I don’t know what to do. I love him but I don’t want to give up on my dream to become a good anal whore

pussysucks: Tell him your pussy sucks and you don’t like it fucked. Tell him you want to be his anal whore. Tell him only your asshole gives you pleasure and satisfies you. Tell him you’ll let him fuck your asshole and suck your cock whenever he wants, but you don’t want him in your pussy anymore. Ask him if there’s anything he wants to do with you that you haven’t done yet or that he wants to do more in exchange for going anal only. Try to get him to commit to a month of anal only to start with and see how he really likes it.

Why doesn’t he like anal? Most guys who don’t think they like anal have a hangup about cleanliness or preparation/warmup. If you keep yourself clean and ready at all time, always have lube, and wear a butt plug when you aren’t having sex so your ass stays warmed up and relaxed and ready for cock whenever either of you want it, he’ll probably be a lot more appreciative of it and be able to see it for the better hole that it is.

For now, to start, stop using your pussy and clit entirely when you masturbate and go anal only for yourself. Plug your ass regularly, fuck it with dildos, finger it, but don’t play with your pussy or your clit anymore.

thenakedwon: How did you get anal only ? I have tried, she has orgasms, butt is not too fond of it.

theanalway: Vaginal sex just became boring compared to really long tantric style anal sex, then after she learned how to achieve proper anal orgasms, that was it. It’s really just a matter of time and good practice, as anal is much more pleasurable and dynamic. The stigma for some girls associated with it soon disappears when they learn how amazing and intimate it is compared to vaginal sex. Seems to be gaining a lot more traction these days.