Anonymous: I need help, I desperately love ass to mouth. I’m afraid of getting an infection, so I want to stop doing it, but I cannot resist it.

I’m not a doctor, and this shouldn’t be taken as medical advice, but it is based on personal experience and conversations with others experienced.

Ass to mouth, especially if done with your own ass, and if you’re visibly clean, is a pretty safe activity for most people, especially if you have a history of doing it without any issue, I wouldn’t worry about it much. You enjoy it, it’s fun, and it hasn’t apparently caused you any harm. Unless an actual reason to stop doing it becomes clear to you, I’d keep enjoying it.

Anonymous: Hey i am a single guy is there any tips in finding a girl who likes anal? Like a signs to look out for because a few past relationships i have had when ever i bring up anal it seem to be the deal breaker. Im only asking because I don’t want to waste anyones time or mine. Please any advise will be great.

There are several approaches.

You can try to meet people through adult oriented social networks like Fetlife and its associated events where people are more up front about their sexual preferences.

You can date/hook up through traditional methods but be up front about wanting anal once sex becomes a topic of discussion early in the dating process.

You can just focus on a partner you’re compatible with more generally and try to ease her into anal more gradually, starting with rimming, then a finger, and working up slowly to the next stage if she enjoys what you’re doing so far.

Which approach you choose depends on your priorities. The latter has no guarantee she’ll be into anal, while the former have no guarantee you’ll meet someone you’re otherwise compatible with.

Good luck.

Anonymous: Are there medical reasons why someone can’t have anal sex? I’m a guy and have a fair bit of personal experience with anal sex but my gf is an anal virgin. We bought an anal training kit with three plugs in it and she can’t get beyond the smallest plug because she says it hurts too much. Any advice apart from the obvious like relaxing and using lots of lube?

Some people may have various conditions that make it more difficult, but most people can get to the point of enjoying anal eventually if they’re willing to put in the time and effort. For some people, that’s an incredibly quick and easy process, while for others it’s slow and challenging.

As a general rule, start where it’s not uncomfortable or painful for her. If she can use the small plug without it hurting, focus on that for now. Don’t advance to the next plug until she’s totally comfortable with this one. Combine some other things like rimming and light rubbing or fingering to help her relax. Add clit stimulation if she enjoys that and try to get her to start orgasming in combination with anal stimulation and/or penetration.

Then, when she’s comfortable with and enjoying the small plug, try the next size. If it still hurts, go back to the smaller one or try something a size in between (this could be a finger/thumb in some cases) before trying again. Go back and forth until the plug can fit in without pain. Repeat this process as needed.

Anonymous: I kind of accidentally found your blog. I was looking for sex tips since after some medical issues I won’t go into I can’t have vaginal sex anymore, and I wanted to say that while your blog wasn’t exactly what I was looking for it has helped me feel sexual again and build my confidence back up.

Thanks for reaching out. I’m glad it helped you! I can understand how suddenly being unable to have vaginal sex again—especially in a manner against your will—when it’s been a major part of your sexuality and sexual identity up to that point can be quite a shocking change and hard to process.

While there are a lot of reasons people go anal only, medical conditions preventing vaginal sex or making it difficult and uncomfortable are definitely a reason for a number of people out there. It can be a wonderful way to resume one’s sexuality and intimacy with a partner. There are some members on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum that have had similar scenarios leading them to anal only.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask!

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

alwaysanalblog: Anal definitely is a confidence builder for women. Whether it’s just a part of exploration and personal development, or as above when it helps heal a void, women can only benefit from it.

slutty-sissy-slave-jessica: Thank you for all your excellent answers. How long do you think someone has to stay anal only to fully lose interest in other forms of sex? Just in average. I want to recondition my body to get a better sissy.

That can depend on several factors: how naturally anal-oriented you are already, and how habituated you are to other forms of stimulation. Breaking habits can take a while for people, but a technique of engaging in anal stimulation any time you feel arousal can really help to start developing an association between feeling horny and receiving anal stimulation/penetration.

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have experimented with anal for quite a bit now; but she won’t take the plunge and actually have anal sex with me because she’s worried it’ll cause problems if it turns into a regular thing. Do you have any information or sources I can use to show her that she doesn’t need to worry about doing any damage no matter how frequently we do it as long as I warm her up correctly?

I don’t have any studies to cite (perhaps someone can respond with something) but I can cite personal experience as well as the experiences of many other people who have been having anal sex regularly for a decade or more, including some who have been in anal only relationships for extended periods of time (two decades in some cases), and have encountered no problems.

Anal sex done properly with appropriate lubrication and warmup, where it feels good and doesn’t hurt (and if it does start to hurt, you pause and adjust as needed rather than just pushing through the pain) simply doesn’t cause an issue. It’s like exercise for the anal muscles, and helps increase their flexibility, elasticity and strength. It doesn’t lead to incontinence or prolapse or whatever other myths people have about it. Even for people who do big toy play/insertions, long-term issues are rare to nonexistent.

harzerkoenig: Hey there! I just wanted to thank you for your awesome blog, please keep the content! And I really appreciate your ask inbox, especially your answers on it. My gf and me did anal quite often but recently, she is really concerned about not being clean, even if she’d gone to the loo before. She thinks there is still smth in there (but there isn’t). My knowledge and experience in anal doesn’t seem to convince her, so for anal only april is unfortunately no way. Thank you for your time!

Thanks for the kind words, glad you enjoy the blog.

Was there any particular incident that prompted her to grow concerned about anal cleanliness? A messy session, or something that made her feel bad or ashamed? Something must have caused a change of attitude.

Perhaps trying to talk about it more openly and ask her directly what caused her to become worried about not being clean enough for anal, or even if there’s something more to it than that and she’s using it as a cover. (Don’t be accusatory, just try to figure out what her real concerns are.)

Some women find anal a lot of pressure because they feel obligated to always stay perfectly clean, but that’s of course impossible to always be 100% clean over an extended period of time, even if it’s almost always the case. Adopting a realistic attitude and both recognizing that occasionally it might get a little messy (just like all forms of sex, really…) and that that’s not a big deal can relieve a lot of that pressure to be perfectly clean always and make things more fun.

typicalsluttyblonde: I’m absolutely loving anal only April, I’ve only been fucked by two people (one man one woman) but even just masturbating by only stimulating my asshole is absolutely incredible and yesterday I had my first anal squirt!!

Congratulations! The first of many, I’m sure! Once you commit to only masturbating (and having sex) anally, it opens up all sorts of new possibilities and often reveals new things you can do and new sources of pleasure you didn’t know were possible to you. And once you can orgasm and squirt from anal only, why bother with your pussy or clit again?

Glad to hear it’s a great experience for you. If you’re still enjoying it by the end of the month, I encourage staying anal only long-term.

slutty-sissy-slave-jessica: Thank you for your answer to 24/7 plugging. Do you have a recommendation what size and length you should end up with for 24/7 plugging? What would you consider best if their is no problem concerning pain etc.

That really depends on your goals. If you just want it to be something in your ass and feel good, it would depend on your personal level of preference for size, and may be on the smaller side of things.

Something like an Njoy or jeweled plug (though the latter have a base shape that isn’t always comfortable for long-term wear) can be good for a small plug that doesn’t do much active “stretching” but just remains in place in your ass and does help a little bit with relaxation and warming up just by its presence even if its size isn’t as big a part of it.

If you want it to be more of a training plug as well as good for long-term comfort, something like the silicone Tantus Ryder, an Implicit Creations plug, or a glass plug with a thicker neck might be more appropriate.

If you like to continue pushing your limits bigger and bigger while also being really comfortable long-term, a bigger Implicit Creations plug, a Tantus A-Bomb, or something from Square Peg Toys or elsewhere may be appropriate.

It can be hard to say where someone wants to “end up”—I would choose a plug that’s an appropriate size for where you are now, possibly pushing a little towards the larger end if you want to go bigger. In the future you may find yourself wanting something bigger, at which point you’d look again for an appropriate size from there.

Since everyone’s so different in this regard, I often recommend going to a local sex toy shop if you’ve got one available so you can look at the size and shape in person to make an appropriate judgement. I recommend sticking with only silicone, glass and steel toys, none of the cheaper materials—especially for plugs.

Anonymous: Thanks to your blog I’m now working towards anal only with my girlfriend, by explaining how its a natural thing that many people now do. Things have got better all the time, and while still tight when we have sex her ass is more relaxed than it was. I’ve also noticed when she cums she squeezes and massages my cock. Is that an anal orgasm and how do we tell? I’d be so pleased if it was.

Great to hear that you’re working towards anal only.

Whether it’s an anal orgasm or not depends on how it’s triggered. If she orgasms just from anal penetration, then it’s an anal orgasm. However, all orgasms will cause her anal muscles to contract rhythmically.