Anonymous: I urge KAY to stick with anal and it will be worth it. Trust me, my wife went through same while pregnant. Of course hormones crash after and it’s trying time for all. But this is a wonderful opportunity for them both and for her husband it will be hard going back to pussy after ass, no matter how pretty it is, because the feelings aren’t the same. She needs to remember that the way she feels right now isn’t how it will always be. From my experience much more foreplay is needed postpartum. GLHF!

While ultimately it depends on what she really wants, I agree, sticking with it and pushing through the rough patch will be rewarding in the end.

It has been a real eye opener finding this blog. I’ve read post after post over several days. It has all been very fascinating to me as in my innocence I never knew anything like this existed.

But I digress. Reading through all the information, I didn’t find anything that exactly matched my story so I thought I would share, ask some questions and get your thoughts.

I’m a 35 mother to 2 boys, married for 11 years. I had few partners before we married but was not so inexperienced that I hadn’t tried most things including anal. I didn’t mind it, neither did I love it, but stopped anyway when I married as my husband never expressed any interest.

During my second pregnancy there was a little spotting which concerned me, although my doctor assured me that it was no cause for alarm. Not wanting to risk the baby we stopped having sex. My husband was disappointed and never as happy with a hand or mouth. Eventually I suggested anal to him, but he was so reluctant even to try. A long story short, he did after some persuasion take me up on the offer. I actually really enjoyed, and I was feeling on high arousal for the remainder of my pregnancy.

My husband admitted that it wasn’t what he expected and so we carried on with it. As I became larger it became more practical too as I could simply lie on my side, he’d lube me up, and snuggle up behind me. Those months were wonderful. I had a craving for it, was feeling very feminine and maternal, and he appeared to be enjoying it too.

However, after the baby was born, my sex drive took a nosedive. My vagina healed up and I wanted to go back to how things were before. My husband in a complete reversal now found excuses not to have vaginal, or “we’ll do it next time”. Now every time we make love, he heads straight to my ass.

I don’t hate it but it’s not the same as it was. I have no idea why. My husband on the other hand has become more and more passionate about anal. I feel bad for trying to get back to vaginal as he obviously enjoys the anal and it was my idea to get started doing this.

So you can see my dilemma. Was this just a phase that I went through. Can I get the desire back. I really want to please my husband, but my body is letting me down. I hadn’t expected this change of heart from him and believed everything would return to normal but it’s apparent it will not. This is not a good place to be since his sex drive is now increasing but mine has hit rock bottom. Any effective ways to fix this? Suggestions from your readers who may have gone though similar also welcome.

Many thanks, Kay

Thanks for sharing your story. A lot of people seem to go anal only or start exploring the idea while pregnant or after a pregnancy, though there are always variations on the precise reasoning or motivation.

It’s also not uncommon for a woman’s sex drive to change after a pregnancy, between the stress, lack of sleep, and other physical, emotional and situational changes.

Where you go from here depends on what you really want. It sounds like you want to move back away from anal and return to vaginal—but is that what you really want or just what your urges are right now? Is it that you only expected this to last a short time and are somewhat resentful now that he’s discovered how much prefers anal and doesn’t want to go back to vaginal anymore?

You certainly can get your anal only urges and desires and pleasure back, but it might take some experimentation, practice and time. If you’d like to go that route, I’d suggest sticking with just anal and viewing it as a fun adventure and challenge to pursue together rather than something you’re struggling with or not enjoying or resent.

I hope you’re able to figure out what it is that you both need and ultimately make it work. I’m happy to discuss things further, too!

Anonymous: I think I’ve created a monster. 3 of them. I’m in a poly relationship with 3 women and we decided to try going anal only. We started a few weeks back and it’s all they every want now.

The best kind of monster in the world is an anal only monster. Of course it’s all they want now: anal is the best way to have sex, and if you do it all the time it just keeps getting better and makes it really obvious what a waste of time it is to bother with vaginal. It’s like being able to eat your favorite meal all the time, never getting tired of it, and it’s good for you.

Congratulations, and keep it up. Keep the anal pleasure going between all of them, and they’ll want to stay anal only for good.

Anonymous: Alright I’m convinced. I’m going to go for it this month. I think for me the only way it’ll work is if I go cold turkey and leave my pussy out of the equation this month, just focus on my ass. My goal then is to work my way up to at least my smaller toy by the end of the month!

Excellent, good to have you on board! Sounds like you have a good plan to focus purely on anal only, and if you keep it a consistent routine and really stick with it, I bet you’ll easily achieve your goal of your smallest toy, and maybe even go beyond that.

If you have any questions as you proceed to explore, feel free to ask—or stop in our Discord server and ask our friendly and ever-growing community (currently over 1200 members signed up) in the #advice channel—and keep us updated throughout the month.

Anonymous: I am another vaginal virgin saying hello. I have seen your releases in Anal Only April and although I have only had anal sex for 3 years, I have decided this month to make it permanent. Many thanks.

I’m glad to have helped inspire you to choose the anal only lifestyle! It really is the best way to be, and your using Anal Only April to make that decision for yourself going forward is a great honor.

Anonymous: is bleeding post anal something to be worried about? been doing it for about a year and it’s a reoccurring thing. (bit of tmi I’m sorry ) but bleeding a little after a big deuce was always the norm for me since i was a child so ive never been concerned but my boyfriend wants me to go to the doctor ?

It can be, but it really depends on the cause. Some people have hemorrhoids that get irritated and bleed, and that’s less of a concern, but if you’re regularly tearing and bleeding as a result, continuing to irritate that can cause more issues (small tears don’t take long to heal, but continued irritation can turn a tear into a fissure, which can take months to heal). You may want to consider a visit to the doctor just to be on the safe side and make sure everything’s fine.

Does it hurt after when you bleed? How often do you do anal? Do you find it difficult or painful when you do it? If there is pain, especially a stinging pain for a day or two after having anal sex, I would lean more towards it being a tear, and would suggest more warmup, wearing a plug more often to relax/train your ass more, and making sure you have enough appropriate lube whenever you’re doing anything anal-related. If there’s no pain, it may be something else.

Anonymous: How long before it’s not considered ATM? My girl isn’t into ATM so sometimes after I pull it out of her asshole I will eat her out for 5-10 minutes and then stick it in her mouth.

It’s still ass to mouth if you haven’t done anything else to clean yourself off before she gives you a blowjob, even if some time has passed between. It sounds like she might just have a bit of a mental block about the idea if she’s okay with doing it a few minutes later but not immediately after.

slutty-sissy-slave-jessica: Is it save to wear plugs with thin necks (like jewel plugs) full time 24/7?

Yes, absolutely. The only concern with long term plugging is that the base is wide enough that it doesn’t slip inside unintentionally and that it stays comfortable. If it starts to hurt, you might take a short break or figure out what’s causing the pain/discomfort, but otherwise feel free to plug as often as you like. It won’t hurt you as long as you listen to your body and adjust as needed.

Bigger plugs with thicker necks are fine to wear long-term as well as long as they’re comfortable. It won’t cause issues, even long-term. It will help relax and “stretch” your ass, but anal muscles default to a closed state, so even if it can stay open at a very large size with a plug, it will close back in its resting state when not plugged.

Anonymous: Do you recommend cleaning before anal sex? What if it’s just spontaneous?

Everyone’s bodies are different and each person has different concerns, so it can be hard to answer this objectively for everyone. Most people want to enjoy clean anal without a mess, but there are different ways of achieving this. In most cases, with a balanced diet that has enough dietary fiber and not too much fat, simply using the bathroom beforehand is enough. The rectum, where sex generally takes place, doesn’t tend to remain full except for right when you feel the need to go to the toilet. Inserting a plug or dildo right before sex can be an easy way to quickly check and make sure, too.

If you want to really ensure cleanliness more, you can clean out before having sex. But this doesn’t need to be a big ordeal—certainly not a full deep enema every time, just use a small enema bulb/anal douche with a small amount of warm water to flush out the rectum several times in a row. That’s it, unless you’re doing big toy/depth play, you don’t need to do more than that, and using too much water and getting it deeper into the colon past the rectum usually ends up making things messier (unless you commit to a full, deep enema) rather than being helpful.

With experience, you can usually just go to the bathroom first and make sure or be able to tell by listening to your body whether you’re likely clean and ready for sex. With a regular digestive routine, you can usually tell when is and isn’t a good time. Some people choose to use a light enema/douching right after going to the bathroom each day so they’re ready for the rest of the day assuming a regular routine.

Anonymous: Hello. I’m a fairly decent anal-only girl — meaning I sometimes have my vaginal cravings. Still I do miss encouragement for clitoral denial. Sometimes I see a lot of content going that way, but then it just dies off like a wave. I have to resort to porn, but 1) girls usually touch their clit and 2) when they don’t, it’s not as if they were forbidden from doing so, so it doesn’t really help much. I wonder if you could direct me to anal-only clit-denial content? That would surely be helpful.

It’s hard to find porn that consistently avoids clit stimulation, so even though there’s an increase of anal only content in terms of penetration, the idea of pure or strict anal only isn’t there yet in the porn production world.

A lot of anal only blogs cover the topic, but it’s not always consistent either—because not everyone is necessarily into that part of anal only, it’s often included as one of many facets of anal only. You can narrow things down by filtering by the commonly used #clitoral denial tag. Here are some examples to get you started.

Update December 2018: Tumblr has banned adult content from their platform, so these links will no longer work. Options for finding specific content like this have been significantly restricted.

• https://analonlytrainer.tumblr.com/tagged/clitoral-denial
• https://analsexonly.tumblr.com/tagged/clitoral-denial
• https://analonlyschool.tumblr.com/tagged/clitoral-denial
• https://analonlyworld.tumblr.com/tagged/clitoral-denial
• https://pussysucks.tumblr.com/tagged/clitoral-denial
• https://twoholesluts.tumblr.com/tagged/clitoral-denial

Also check out this Anal Only: Denied Pussy video. (NSFW warning!)

I hope that helps you somewhat. Good luck becoming an even better anal only girl.