The Anal Only Lifestyle forums have long been the “central hub” of this community, a place not only full of conversation about anal only, but with links to the blogs and chat. As such, one would expect it to rank highly on Google for search queries such as “anal only”, “anal sex forum” and more, and for many years it was right there at the top of the list, with the majority of new traffic coming from Google as people searched for various anal only-related queries and discovered there was a community of people who shared their preferences.

As of several months ago, however, Google had an algorithm change, and in combination with adult-oriented Tumblr blogs being blocked from indexing by Google, most of the existing links to the forum have now disappeared as far as Google is concerned, and it in turn has dropped off the results for most search queries.

I’ve tried a lot of things over the past few months, and nothing has helped so far. Traffic is down to 1/6th of what it was before with the loss of new visitors from Google, and anything I try either makes it worse or it stays the same. Advice is welcome, though I’ve done a lot of research and tried a lot of things already.

Anonymous: My wife and I follow your blog but so much we can’t relate to such as all the dom/sub submissions or women calling themselves sluts or whores. It’s like another world to us. Nevertheless we talk about your lifestyle often and do get excited by the idea of it. Anal is a big part of our sex life, perhaps more so for me as I get more pleasure from it. I know you are always balanced so is there anything we would likely miss if we consider ending vaginal?

There is a very wide variety of people who are interested in anal and the anal only lifestyle, and the dom/sub dynamic is only one aspect of that. Anal only pairs quite well with that lifestyle, thus the popularity of the combination, but it does not have to at all and there are plenty of other couples out there who are very much anal only but who don’t do any power exchange, they just both really love anal sex and the intimacy and excitement being anal only gives them.

It’s definitely a point worth bringing up—people not interested in power exchange or some of the other aspects that sometimes pop up with people in conversation about the anal only lifestyle shouldn’t be deterred from the lifestyle as a whole even if those things don’t interest them. Fundamentally, the anal only lifestyle is about preferring anal sex and choosing to replace vaginal with anal, and that’s all that it has to be.

If the two of you are interested in it, I would really suggest just trying it. Give yourselves a month or two to start and just dive in with just anal only. In my experience, most people find they don’t miss vaginal much if at all by a few weeks to a month in and it’s really easy to just keep going anal only and not return to vaginal. I’ve seen it happen many times throughout the various anal only challenge months we’ve had around here over the years, where people try it out for a month because it seem like an interesting challenge but there’s no way they would stick with it, because they would miss vaginal too much, then the end of the month rolls around and they follow up with “actually… I kind of don’t miss my pussy anymore, I think we’re just going to stay anal only now”.

Give it a try, have fun with it, and see where it takes you.

xanderhaupstadt: My wife and I have done a lot on anal play. We have only been able to achieve anal only sex once and she was very stoned. For both of us it was an amazing experience and we both had extremely intense orgasms. However, since then we have not been successful with full anal penetration. Fingers and smaller plugs are fun. But I really would like us to get to full anal sex. Any suggestions or tips?

I’d suggest keeping up the play with fingers and smaller toys on a regular basis and gradually working up from there. Once she’s totally comfortably with smaller toys, try something a bit bigger, and keep repeating that process until something penis-sized is comfortable for her, at which point anal sex should be a reasonable thing to start doing again.

alwaysanalblog: I’ve been thinking.

Having read quite a few anal only success stories recently has been very encouraging. It’s pleasing on the small scale, as having been there and done that I know what it means to commit to AO together with your partner. It is also pleasing on the grander scale, as each little positive tale of individuals reassures those who have similar desires that not only is this quite normal but also achievable. Many won’t even try as they think it will be impossible. But it isn’t as more and more people prove every day.

For some the journey is quick, while for others it is a long and hard voyage with many obstacles to navigate. A community, with blogs, support and advice helps many along.

However, what we don’t hear about often is the failures. I don’t want to sound negative, but sometimes it doesn’t work out. It’s heart breaking knowing some people were so close to that pinnacle of a healthy sexual relationship but couldn’t quite realize the dream.

We can learn as much from failure as from success. If anyone feels it didn’t work out for them, don’t give up! Speak out and somebody in the community will help.

Anonymous: I love your readers questions. It just goes to show what a diverse but normal crowd anal fans are – just a mix of ordinary people who want to get the best out of sex. Changing the topic, why is it that there’s something incredibly erotic about the sight of a woman’s ass taking a cock while the pussy lies empty just next to it? Never fails to get me hard!

It’s a great group of diverse anal-loving people and I’m very grateful for everyone and their support, participation in and enjoyment of the community and lifestyle.

I don’t know why what you described is so innately appealing, but it is, and I choose to believe that’s because being anal only is innately right for us and so seeing it illustrated in that manner is of course going to be appealing as well.

Anonymous: My gf love anal I love to fuck her ass and we do use toys as well. What else I can do to her to give her the best pleasure with anal?

Fuck her ass, eat her ass, finger her ass, dildo her ass, plug her ass. Do it often and keep up a routine with it, and it’ll just keep getting better. Find what you both enjoy a lot and keep doing it. If she wants to keep pushing her limits, work up to larger toys and give her a stretch. It all kind of depends what you’re both into.

Anonymous: I’ve heard talk about this “lifestyle” but didn’t think about it much. Now I have a boyfriend who wants to do “only anal”. It can feel good for me, but all the time? He says it’s the normal progression for when u get this serious. I can see how it can be more intimate but can it really work for bf/gf? And why do you strongly encourage people to do so?

It absolutely can work for a couple, and there are a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends as well as married couples out there who are anal only together. However, you should do it because you both want to, or at least both want to try it. It’s never something that should be forced or pressured if one partner is uninterested. Encouragement, expressing a desire to do it, and asking a partner to try it is fine, but not unwanted pressure.

I encourage people to go anal only for many reasons, some of which you’ve already touched on:

• It’s more intimate. It’s most people’s most private part of their body, and not only sharing it with your partner but making that sharing of it the primary part of your sex life together is a very loving and intimate expression of your trust and connection.
• It feels better. Anal sex has the potential to be a lot more pleasurable than vaginal, and doing it very regularly or replacing vaginal with it in order to focus on anal pleasure is a great way to get into the right rhythm and routine for it to feel great and always be warmed up and ready for it.
• It’s natural birth control. What’s not to love about that?
• It’s sexier. Anal sex is very aesthetically pleasing and there’s just something absolutely beautiful about the visual side of it. Beyond that, though, it’s also a very sexy idea for a lot of people, the idea of focusing on anal instead of vaginal appeals to many in a sexy way.
• It’s a shift away from reproductive urges driving sex to a focus purely on mutual pleasure and intimacy. Sex is rarely about procreation, yet people keep using the vagina despite anal having other benefits. Since anal done right feels better, shifting away from vaginal to just anal offers a lot for this mindset.

I’d encourage you to give it a try with your boyfriend. You don’t have to commit to it long term just yet—try it for a month or two and see how it goes from there. Most people find after a month of anal only that their concerns about it were a bit overblown and that they don’t actually miss vaginal sex, and it’s easy to just keep going.

Either way, good luck!

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

alwaysanalblog: I don’t think the boyfriend is trying to force her, rather it is perhaps his clumsy way of trying to take the relationship to the next level. It shows a sense of commitment from him, since it is a natural progression to want more pleasure and intimacy for each other.

And if I have read this correctly they are both still young and so obviously procreational sex is far from their minds and the lifestyle helps them enormously in this regard.

Kudos to her for giving anal only obvious consideration and not dismissing out of hand. Better access to information has limited the powers of our out of date moral guardians.

I also wish them the best of luck.

Anonymous: What happened if I enject water in her ass?

That’s called douching, or an enema. You can flush out the rectum, and beyond, with water, to clean it before other sex or anal play. Some people do enema play as its own form of stimulation because they enjoy it.

For cleaning before sex, you usually don’t want to use too much water, just enough to clean out the rectum only, repeated several times. If you get water deeper into the colon, it will often “activate” the colon and speed the movement of its contents, causing a bigger mess and requiring a longer period of repeated deeper enemas to flush everything out until the water consistently comes out clear.

Deep enemas are often recommended to not be done too frequently to avoid a loss of important intestinal flora that are part of the digestive process. A simple rectal flush, on the other hand, is fine to do.

Anonymous: Me and my girlfriend are both receptively anal only. It’s a great lifestyle and I’d really recommend it as an alternative interpretation. We are both bi and swing, so when we aren’t playing with each other’s asses we may be getting fucked together. We love it and it’s really brought up closer together. So the asker in a previous post isn’t alone.

For sure—it’s not something that’s talked about quite as much as a male/female giver/receiver anal only relationship, but it’s definitely something that exists and that there are other single people out there interested in pursuing/exploring as well. It can also be a great fit for bi or lesbian women in an anal only relationship together. Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous: In your experience are there any women just to small for anal? I’ve known some really petite girls (some not even 5′) but never got to try anal with them. What about large men/small women? Surely it becomes a stretch at times? Or any other ways that some just aren’t anatomically compatible?

Everyone is different, and an overall physical size difference can pose some challenges in some cases, but it’s not a totally limiting factor, nor is it the only factor. Some very small women can be extremely skilled at anal and some larger women can struggle with it. Pretty much anyone can get to the point where they can do and enjoy anal, it just might take a little more effort for some than others.