For more details on anal only training and all things relating to anal and the anal only lifestyle, visit our Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page!

Anonymous: I’ve been training my ass for a while now and yesterday I took up a larger toy and i got so horny because i arrived to this level while a couple months ago I couldn’t even put my finger. I’m trying to go anal only and havent touched my pussy for a week and doing anal play only and it’s dripping wet i can feel the wetness on my thighs all day long, sometimes I add clothespins on my labia for more exquisite torture, do you have a task for me to extend AO training ? Ps : i love your blog

First of all, congratulations on moving to a larger toy and on trying to go anal only! Obviously, I encourage and approve of such things, and hope that you continue to stick with anal only long-term!

It sounds like you’re trying to go anal only on your own, rather than with a partner. There’s nothing at all wrong with that, and when it comes to initial anal training I actually often suggest exploring it on your own first so you get to know about it on your own terms and in the future can go into it with less uncertainty and more confidence when you try it with a partner. For some people, it can also be more challenging, because with the anal only aspect, you don’t have any accountability except to yourself, and it can feel easier to give up when it gets hard, which in turn can feel like a failure if you “give in” to old urges.

But if that happens, you shouldn’t see it as a failure, you should see it as a natural part of the process of switching your urges to anal instead of vaginal. It doesn’t happen overnight if you already very much enjoy and have primarily stimulated yourself vaginally or clitorally until now. Definitely keep trying to push your limits and go as long as you can, but if you can’t take it anymore and end up masturbating vaginally or clitorally again, just dive back in after and try again. Each time around see if you can go longer than the time before!

To answer your question more directly, however, what I generally recommend for people struggling with going anal only in their solo play and wanting to avoid touching their pussy is: Any time you feel the urge to touch your pussy, rub and finger or use a toy in your ass instead. The hornier you get, the more enthusiastically you play with your ass. Take all that arousal coming from your pussy and clit and redirect it to your ass. In time, that arousal will start naturally shifting to your ass instead. If your clit is a big distraction to you and makes it too hard to resist, try some anesthetic cream like Orajel on your clit to numb it temporarily while you masturbate.

And finally, if you find that the clitoral denial aspect of anal only is too much for you, always remember that you can be anal only without giving up your clit. Most anal only women only engage in anal penetration during masturbation and sex but still combine clitoral stimulation with anal as needed. Some edge clitorally, some orgasm clitorally. Others get all they need from their ass. Experiment with all the options, but ultimately what’s best for you is something that you’ll need to figure out for yourself.

Enjoy!

yesannarose: Hi, im new to anal play and was wondering how long I can keep a silicone plug in?

As long as you want and it feels comfortable to do so! It’s certainly not going to harm you to keep it in even for quite a long time, and your body will let you know if it wants it out. Listen to your body, and the more you practice with it, the longer you’ll be able to comfortably wear it. Enjoy!

alwaysanalblog: Jacqueline George, Author of “How to make Wild, Passionate Love to your Man” answers this question:

Anal is naughty, and that’s fun by itself.

But the main reason is that it’s so rewarding.

Women can come with a variety of stimulation, they can come several times, they or their partner can help things along during vaginal sex so you both come together. But for hands-off penetrative orgasms, it’s hard to beat anal.

Read More

lolypoppyxd: My gf is willing to try anal, but she is a virgin in both holes. So my q is how do i stimulate her so anal hurts less (sorry for the bad English) ty in advance

Anal shouldn’t hurt at all, so avoid the mindset that it should “hurt less”, and instead focus on making her thoroughly enjoy it pain-free. Start by just incorporating some non-invasive anal play—lick her asshole, rub it gently with a lubricated finger on the outside, and talk with her about what she enjoys. Try combining anal penetration with clitoral stimulation and gently ease a lubricated finger into her ass, then make her orgasm while fingering her ass. Keep going up in size from there, with more fingers as she’s ready for them, then a butt plug and dildos. Once she can fit something about the size of your penis and she’s ready to go for it, try the real thing. Go slowly, let her control the pace, be prepared to pause if anything starts to hurt and let her relax around you. Once you’re all the way in and she’s ready, start to slowly move and build up speed from there. Communicate, and be ready to stop, slow or adjust if she needs it.

Anonymous: Im new to anal only lifestyle and im trying to ease into it slowly, just finished an anal play session and so far I’m loving it, I still can’t put anything as big as a dildo, only tiny brushes but hopefully I will get there soon. I’m in bed now and I’m still aroused and excited from the ass play I did, and to add some more punishment I applied a dab of toothpaste to my clit : this feels so bad and so good at the same time I’m soooooo horny Ps : I love your blog I come here every single day

Sounds like you’re doing very well! Enthusiasm about exploring anal pleasure and going anal only is one of the most important things—everyone can physically train themselves to do anal, but wanting and needing to do it are what really makes it rewarding.

silvercrow503: Hello while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time taking her virginity in the process. As someone that loves anal with and passion I also couldn’t help fingering and toying her hole to find out it was super lose and relaxed. After that I let her know I was going for it, lubed my dick up and popped her anal cherry in the same go. She enjoyed it but still wants vaginal. Any tips to help make her enjoy anal so much that the vagina is only needed for birthing children?

Eat her ass, play with it, and make anal pleasure for her a regular part of your sex life together. Make it as enjoyable an experience for her as you can on a very regular basis, and give her lots of orgasms during anal penetration. Right now, she probably wants to try everything because it’s all new, but if you show her how amazing anal can be, it will probably end up standing out as the best option.

Anonymous: I have been dating my girl friend for a year now, beginning 2018 i started anal only Fridays. Last month we started vaginal only Friday and Anal Only every other day of the week. Any ideas to get her to be anal only 24/7 365?

I’d suggest keeping up your current routine a few more months to really firmly establish it—85% anal is pretty good!—and then from there talk to her about shifting to fully anal only. If she still had some lingering desire for vaginal, commit to just a few months of pure anal only to begin with, and then if it’s a success drop pussy entirely after that and don’t look back.

Hi, it´s Suvi from Finland again.

Thank you so much from the several useful advices and I wanna give you small update of our situation…

The biggest shock for me is that I have been asking advice from numerous people, but only useful help I have got is from men but zero from women!!

All my girlfriends and all girls that give me advice in different chat rooms seems to be shearing the same opinion that I should talk and/or force my boyfriend to change or dump him even when I have been very clear that´s not even an option.

Like you very well told me that sex is only one part in relationship and for me it´s the only thing that isn´t perfect at the moment, but everything else is more than perfect. I cannot think even one more thing what I would wish more from him to make my life better.

Also to add few thoughts for you feminists that might be reading this… My boyfriend has been trying his best to give me the same pleasure as I´m giving to him, but if he´s not able what can he do? How many girls are willing to have anal sex if cannot enjoy it and just say “my ass is exit only” or “no men will ever put anything up my ass”? How disgusting partners are you if you are not willing to do something or anything that your love one really likes? It has nothing to do with men trying to make us women feel like less or lower form of human beings or sex slaves but honestly vice versa. Cannot even count how many times my boyfriend tells me how much he loves me  when he´s getting the best sex he can desire and after sex and all times between having sex again he´s more thoughtful than ever before, like almost we would been dating just few months and not several years.

Someone wrote me if I cannot make him change and still date with him I deserve to get fucked in the ass for rest of my life… When did I ever mention that I do not enjoy getting my ass fucked? I just miss my pussy getting fucked that´s all, but I do enjoy anal sex and I´m trying to find ways now to satisfy my boyfriend however he wants and also to find ways for myself to enjoy more sex without using my pussy.

And I really want to underline the fact that we are if even possible more closer than ever before because this is the first time for me that I have the change to show my boyfriend how much he means to me and I am ready to do anything for him because he have showed me and proven it to me countless of times.

So now it´s been more than 2 months sens I have had anything and I do mean anything in my pussy, so only anal sex. Sometimes we haven´t have sex for few days at all but sometimes we have sex 3 times in one day. I still really miss my pussy to get fucked, but in the same time I got many tips from men how to enjoy anal sex more and last week I bought with almost 500 euros worthy of different toys from our local sex shop and the biggest success has been a clit stimulator.

I can honestly and really recommend this toy to any girl or woman because this one is simply just genious 🙂 Using this toy at the same time when having anal sex gives you mindblowing orgasms I can promise you that and I sure this one would work perfectly for anal first-timers.

I think as you recommended I will order one or two butt plugs also and let´s see if they are any good, but I have to say that now I´m much more confident about the future even I still hope my boyfriend would share even small interest some day also for my pussy, but at least now I have learned many things more for myself to enjoy anal sex.

Thanks for your thoughtful advices and comments…

Kisses 🙂

Thank you for the update! I’m glad to hear that you’re figuring out a good compromise together and are committed to each other and each other’s pleasure. I’m sure that as you continue exploring and enjoying the anal only lifestyle together, you’ll find that you won’t miss vaginal sex nearly as much and will come to enjoy the idea of being anal only and not using your pussy much more. It can really start to become a special thing to not have vaginal sex, as strange as that can sound to some.

I think a lot of the people who have responded to you misunderstood the situation and defaulted to the idea that you were being somehow mistreated by someone selfish rather than recognizing the fact that your boyfriend has specific needs and preferences, and while you do as well, you’re willing to work to satisfy his needs while also working together to make it satisfying for the both of you. There’s nothing selfish or wrong about anyone preferring anal and wanting nothing to do with vaginal—so long as its consensual and everyone is on board with at least trying it.

Anonymous: I am very new to anal and I’m wearing a plug for the first time. Any advice about wearing plugs?

Try wearing it every time you masturbate, to begin with, to start associating anal stimulation and penetration with pleasures you already enjoy. From there, try leaving it in longer, both after you’ve masturbated and orgasmed with it in, as well as other times. If it starts to get uncomfortable, take it out and then see if you can wear it longer the next time you try. Try sleeping with it in. With more practice, you’ll be able to wear it longer and it will both feel even better on its own, and help open you up to more anal pleasures and make anal sex easier.

Anonymous: I’ve seen many questions here about female partners getting sore after anal. My wife was the same too but we worked out that you have to work through that, but the important point is to be gentle. Lots of hard and fast anal doesn’t work. Instead work up to more and more but go slow. My wife found that very long slow sessions, even when she started out a little tender, soon became comfortable, while fast pumping or pounding would ruin any progress we made. HTH.

It varies from person to person, but this can definitely be the case if someone is regularly experiencing soreness from anal. That doesn’t mean that hard and fast anal isn’t possible too, however, it’s just something that people need to ease into and work towards if it causes them soreness.