Message: Vaginismus

Anonymous: I have vaginismus (a really tight pussy too tights to have sex or it hurts a lot) and my doctor had my try stretching it out and I tried but it just hurts so bad and turns me off more every time, so she suggesetd I try anal instead. I found your blog when I was looking, and it sounds great if people really do anal only, any tips? I’ve fingered my ass some and I like it more than my pussy.

Anal has proved a welcome option for a lot of women with vaginismus over the years, and it’s great to see that it’s being encouraged as a serious alternative to vaginal. We in the anal only community often come from adopting anal as the primary form of sex by choice because it’s better than vaginal, and it is, but it also can provide an outlet for pleasure and intimacy for women incapable of having vaginal, and that’s wonderful.

It sounds like you’re on the right track by starting slow and exploring with your fingers. Keep doing that, be sure you’re using some sort of lube, and start to add more fingers. From there, start with a dildo or a vibrator and gradually work up further in size as you’re comfortable and ready for something bigger. Butt plugs are also good for a more passive approach, and you can wear them in your ass while masturbating clitorally or even while doing other things.

I’d suggest only trying anal sex with a partner once you’re comfortable using a similarly sized dildo and are confident you’re ready and can do it without pain.

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