mcshishi: I can come from anal only when my husband fucks me but not during masturbation and it’s so frustrating. I always end up touching my clit and I always feel like a bad girl afterwards

If using your clit makes you feel like a bad girl and you want to focus on strictly anal only, especially since you know that you can orgasm from it in the right circumstances, I would suggest that you change your perspective on masturbating and stop thinking of it as a quick path to orgasm and self-satisfaction, and more of another opportunity to play with your ass, whether it leads to orgasm or not. Take your clit out of the picture and just enjoy rubbing, fingering, and dildoing your ass. If something in particular feels good, do more of it. If it feels like it could make you cum, focus on that, but don’t make an orgasm your primary goal.

It might be a challenge at first, and it might take multiple rounds of trying it for a while, being unable to resist your clit and going back to old habits, then starting again, but so long as you try to maintain a trend over time of going longer and longer without your clit and only masturbating anally, you’ll eventually be able to get entirely clit-free, and the longer you go without it, the more you’ll find sex and your orgasms with your husband to be even better, and most likely will start to be able to orgasm from anal masturbation as well.

Anonymous: It’s those few days of the month for me where I’m unbearably horny and it’s hard to stay anal only. So I’m currently out shopping, wearing an anal plug under my chastity belt. To add to my torture, I put some earbuds in and I’m forcing myself to listen to the sounds of women cumming hard as I feel my empty pussy drip. It’s making me wish a stranger would come pull my leggings down and fuck my ass hard while I’m locked in this belt. Ugh ?

A lot of anal only people get those challenging days where sticking to their goals seems hardly worth it and it’s so easy to give in, but at the same time you know that if you do, you’ll regret it. Having an outlet to share and talk about it is always a good way to back away from that edge, so I’m glad you shared this message.

At the same time, it sounds like you are familiar with the routine, and have a good strategy for dealing with it yourself—as well as deliberately making it worse for yourself! Here’s to hoping your wish comes true.

Anonymous: Maybe a weird question but I can’t really find answers. Are we suppose to be relaxed with a butt plug in, or staying clenching on it like a keagel? I usually relax totally with the plug but feel that while it’s stretching the anal opening itself it doesn’t do much for further up there. Maybe just a longer wider plug would be beneficial… Any suggestions or tips would be appreciated!

You can do and benefit from both. Most people are relaxed when they’re inside. You’re correct in that it’s primarily affecting the anal muscles rather than deeper inside the rectum. You would want to use a dildo for more active anal masturbation.

aletter2elise: I went a little overboard with my 7 inch long cock inside my asshole. I’m very sore and puffy inside and I was wondering what can I do to make it feel better? How long does it take for the swelling to go down? I feel so empty without my butt plug so how long should I have to wait before I can keep it back inside at all times?

Rest a few days to let it recover, use some aloe gel or similar on it, and once it’s not sore anymore, you can start using a plug again. It’s best to let it fully recover before starting again, and for a bit of soreness, that’s usually a few days.

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I have been anal only for 2 years now and things are great, but we are trying to find something to really test my anal limits. We’ve used toys like dildos, vibrators, etc.. But we are looking for something new. Are there any interactions you can think of that will take our anal sex to an extreme? We are very adventerous. 🙂

Congratulations on the two years anal only! There are all sorts of things you could try doing to push your anal limits and get deeper into the anal only lifestyle.

• If you use clitoral stimulation currently during masturbation or sex, you could work to stop that and focus on pure anal only and learn to orgasm from just anal (if you can’t already). Using numbing creams like Orajel can be a good part of this process as well, temporarily removing any sensations from your clit.
• You could start wearing a butt plug more often until you more or less always have one in whenever possible aside from when having sex, using the bathroom, or cleaning.
• You could buy larger dildos and plugs and continue pushing your size limits with them. Depth play can be fun in addition to increases in width.
• You could start working towards double anal, whether with a third partner if that’s something that interests the both of you, or with a dildo alongside your boyfriend.
• Similarly, you can start working towards anal fisting. The stretch can be similar to larger toys, but with the more intimate connection of your boyfriend’s hand inside you.
• Chastity piercings to close your pussy and anal only-themed tattoos can be more advanced ways of symbolizing your anal only status.

I’ll be interested to hear what you end up trying!

Anonymous: Yes that’s exactly right, when I cum with my clit it does feel amazing for a few seconds and then … not so amazing. I stop being horny almost right away and get kind of repulsed by sex and having something in my ass. But when I cum from anal, it’s still satisfying and feels good, but I don’t lose my arousal and desire and sexuality as much I guess. Thank you for the encouragement, I’m excited to try giving up my clit now too. And thank you so much for your blog, it really inspired me.

Then yes, stopping the use of your clit is definitely the right move and you should only allow yourself anal only orgasms going forward. I’m excited for you, you’re making a big change all at once but it’s going to be so rewarding and so much fun. You’re going to love it. Remember that even if there are some challenges in the first few weeks to month, it will keep getting better and easier, and sticking with it is the most important thing. Most people by the time they get to 1 – 3 months in, don’t go back to vaginal. (And if they do, they usually end up anal only again before long.)