Message: I Want My (Still) Side Girl AO
Thecraver: I’ve been fucking this cute girl for four years, pretty younger than me (she was 18 when we first met, I was 28) and we see each other once in six months or so. She never gave up on me; she has vaginismus and I think I was the only man to deal with it patiently and at the same time challenging her on sex. We developed an anal-focused relation (I hadn’t even heard of the AO lifestyle back then), but as we grew more and more intimate, she began to try it on her vagina. I honestly don’t want her that way. I care for her and sometimes even think of breaking up with my wife to be with her full time, but always AO. What’s the best approach to tell her and engage her on the lifestyle?
Tell her that you really like her and having sex with her, but that vaginal sex isn’t really your thing and that you would rather just keep doing anal sex only with her. Tell her how sexy it was that you were so anal centric together and only did anal for so long, and that you’d like to go back to that.
You never know, she may prefer anal as well and could be doing vaginal just because she thinks it’s expected and what you want. That’s not too uncommon. Especially if she has vaginismus, vaginal is likely going to be less comfortable than anal or more prone to pain.
Your best bet is to start a conversation, without making her feel bad or being accusatory or demanding in any way, and just see where things go from there. Lay out your preference, but also make sure she knows that it’s not because there’s anything wrong with her or her vagina, it’s just that you prefer anal sex and you liked being anal only together and would like to continue that dynamic together.
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