Anonymous: Anal porn is becoming more common in porn and it’s great as many people enjoy it. But, I really don’t prefer mainstream porn because of many reasons, even if I prefer anal, I don’t think porn is a good way to learn how to do anal training. A few of my female friends who are currently anal only says that they don’t want to get into the porn industry, aside from the fact how quite disturbing the industry is, my friend confesses that there’s no room for anal only women in porn industry, despite many female adult stars saying they prefer anal and she says that if she were to become an adult star, she would have to do vaginal sex in order to attract the audience and to feel more “relevant” and “normal” as well.

Anal porn definitely isn’t instructional, and doesn’t generally provide proper warmup techniques. But that’s not what it’s for, it’s entertaining and inspirational. There are plenty of other places where you can find good guides on how to prepare for anal properly, including our very own Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle.

I definitely agree that there’s a problem with financial incentives minimizing the chances for someone in porn to be anal only. I’ve heard the same from a lot of women who work in the sex industry—they may prefer anal and only want it for themselves, but when working professionally won’t turn down requests for vaginal because that’s turning away money someone is offering you. That doesn’t have anything to do with the established industry specifically—cam performers and others working for themselves say the same, and it’s dictated more by what viewers want.

A question that comes up from time to time is whether or not you should include clit stimulation or other external stimulation of the vulva like cunnilingus or the use of a vibrator in your sex life if you’re anal only.

Most fundamentally, the anal only lifestyle is about the exclusion of vaginal sex and the adoption of anal sex to fully replace it. If you do that, you can consider yourself anal only.

Clit denial and denial of all vaginal stimulation, internal or external, can also be consistent with the anal only lifestyle, and can provide additional benefits for those who want to adopt those restrictions, but isn’t explicitly necessary to be anal only.

If you need or want clit stimulation or cunnilingus in order to enjoy anal sex or to be anal only long-term, don’t feel that you have to stop them in order to call yourself anal only.

If, however, you notice some of the negative effects that can come from clit stimulation, such as loss of arousal or mood swings, or want to focus on purely anal pleasure and orgasms, then it’s also perfectly reasonable to try going without and only relying on anal stimulation.

It’s a personal choice. Neither is right or wrong. Enjoy what works best for you.

Anonymous: I have always preferred the butt to pussy. I don’t know why but I have always found vaginal to be pedestrian and boring. Anal and oral on the other hand I have always found to be far superior in all aspects.

When I was growing up my friends and classmates treated pussy like it was the be all, end all. One of my classmates however was very open about his desire for anal and was unapologetic about it. I sometimes wonder how many of my friends and classmates actually liked anal better but did not say anything out of fear of being labeled gay even though they wanted to do this with a female.

Of course I was in high school in the late 70’s and early 80s so things were not quite as open as they are now.

There are many people who do and have always felt this way, who had an innate preference for anal that didn’t evolve over time, it’s just always how we’ve been and part of who we are.

And then there are many others who didn’t start out that way, but discovered their love for anal over time.

Either way, it’s a great thing that more people are becoming comfortable with a preference for anal.

hi, my girlfriend seems open to the idea of anal sex and enjoys it when i finger her butt. but when i get my finger deeper (like after the second knuckle) she complains that it feels like she has to poop, which i guess is not a sensation she enjoys. is this common? any advice on what to do?

Several good responses follow, including:

Its mental cause she is a newby. Assure her that she doesnt have to, that if she did you wont freak out and just try to get her to relax. Combine however she likes her clit played with with the anal fingering. You need her to tie them together mentally. I dont want to use the term brainwash but when i first met my wife she had never liked anal now she cant cum without some sort of anal stimulation. Its all about building the pleasure association.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Sue: 3 questions.

1. How can I ensure a clean anal session!?

2. How to prepare my butthole!?

3. What kind of plugs would you suggest!?

Thanks open to all advice:-)

Hi Sue, thanks for the questions. We actually have a Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle which answers all of these in detail.

• Anal Hygiene & the Use of Enemas for Clean Anal Sex
• Anal Training & Preparing for Anal Sex
• Butt Plugs & Dildos for Anal Training & Masturbation

Hope that helps, and please follow up with any more questions you might have if there’s anything not answered there!

There are many reasons to go anal only, but one of the fundamental elements of anal sex is that you cannot get pregnant from it, and humans have been using this to their advantage for millennia for that reason. After all, the vast majority of our sexual activity is intended for non-reproductive purposes, and it makes sense to adopt a form of sex that doesn’t result in pregnancy.

Anal Sex is Healthier Than Hormonal Birth Control

While artificial forms of birth control have been revolutionary for the sexual freedom of women and have made it possible to safely enjoy sex, a fact which should absolutely be celebrated, it doesn’t come without its own negatives.

Many women experience some sort of negative side effect from birth control, however. Nausea, weight gain, sore breasts, mood changes, headaches, and loss of arousal are all common.

With anal sex, none of those things are a factor, just the pleasure and intimacy of anal sex and the comfort and confidence of pregnancy-free sex.

Anal Sex is Free and Universally Available

In certain parts of the world, availability of cheap, reliable birth control is limited, and even when it is available, it still costs money. In the United States, birth control can cost up to $50 per month, plus up to $200 for an initial visit with a doctor. In our trying times where many people are just scraping by financially, that can mean choosing between eating or going on birth control.

Aside from the cost of a few toys and some lube to start exploring it if you aren’t already experienced, anal sex provides natural birth control and is free and available to everyone.

Anal Sex Empowers Women

With vaginal sex, there’s a constant reminder that its primary function is getting pregnant, which only serves to reinforce the persistent idea in society that women are primarily there for making babies, and reduces them as individuals. This then leads to judgement of women who enjoy sex, calling them “sluts”, because promiscuous behavior with vaginal sex carries the risk of unwanted pregnancy.

Anal sex, with its focus purely on sexuality and pleasure rather than reproduction, separates the baggage of pregnancy from sex and lets women be sexual equals who can openly enjoy sex and pursue it as often as they want without risk of getting pregnant.

Condoms Provide More Than Birth Control

It’s important to remember with all of this, however, that safe sex is still critical, even with anal sex. Condoms are essential if you are having sex with multiple partners outside of a trusted, tested environment, to prevent the transmission of STIs.

Steven: Hello. First of all, thank you for all your work, I’ve been a big fan for years. I’m seeking advice. It’ll be a bit long, and quite peculiar to explain…

I’m a 32yo male who’s been into anal for a long, long time (my first time at 16yo was anal, we had no condom and no birth pill, and it’s been my favorite way to fuck ever since). Four years ago, I met a girl through a dating site. Both our profiles mentioned “anal only”, our mutual pictures pleased each other very much, and we got a very good contact through chatting. We met at a bar and connected immediately: she’s smart, funny, extremely sexy and feminine, classy. She offered me to go to her place (you bet I will), and we jumped at each other as soon as the door closed.

When I got to her last layer of clothes, I had two surprises: she was wearing beautiful backless panties and a jewel plug in her ass (yum), and there was an unmistakable bulge on the front of her panties – a small bulge, yet one which shape was very obvious… I had previously never slept with a Tgirl and it wasn’t something I was particularly seeking, but I’m open-minded, I loved absolutely everything else about her, and I hadn’t been planning to do anything with her crotch anyway – my attention was focused on everything else, particularly her beautiful ass and its beautiful hole…

We had a very intense and wild night, so good in fact that we spent the next day together. Two months later, she was selling her apartment and moving to my place. Four years later, here we are, still a couple, and enjoying the Hell out of it.

During all this time, you have to understand we never, ever talked about what she used to be. All her appearance, behaviour, friends, etc. indicate she’s always been a woman. Even her parents (who love me, I have the “ideal son-in-law” type) never mentioned it, all the pictures they keep of her show a cute girl. In our everyday lives, she always wears something that hides her crotch – she has a very large assortment of backless panties to wear during sex (and jewel plugs to go with it). She never touches her crotch during sex, and I certainly don’t. The only thing that may happen is that she cums in her panties without any stimulation while I fuck her (sometimes she cums even while deepthroating me), and that rather turns me on (it has no consequence, I can keep fucking her as long and as hard as I want after she cums, and I generally do just that).

So, it’s been quite a shock when she talked about her past for the first time last night. She’s been brooding lately, which is unusual for her, so I asked her if everything was OK. She answered that when she started her transition (!) years ago, she swore to herself she would be a complete woman at 30yo. Now, she was 29yo, the only missing thing was to turn her genitals into a pussy (from what I understand, her balls stopped producing hormones years ago), but she wasn’t sure she wanted to get a pussy any more: I’m anal only, she’s always been anal only/ignoring her genitals (and loved it that way), and she didn’t feel like going through a long and painful and risky surgical procedure to get something we wouldn’t use anyway. But on the other hand, she did promise to turn into a “complete woman” by 30yo, and she still wanted to be one, so she didn’t know what to do.

And then, she asked me what I felt about it. I told her it was a very complex matter, and I needed some time to phrase my feelings correctly.

To you, I’ll say what I feel very bluntly: the idea that she gets her cock and balls removed pleases and turns me on a lot (much more than I thought it would), but I’d rather have her keep those if her alternative is to get a vagina and clitoris instead.

The thing that makes our sex so perfect is how obvious it is: from the very start of her sexuality, she ignored her genitals and focused on her ass, she’s completely disinhibited about it (for example, from day one she does ass to mouth like it’s the most natural thing in the world, it doesn’t even feel naughty). That makes her ideal for my own sexuality – there’s only one hole to fuck down there, nothing on her front to act as distraction, no orgasm but anal orgasms, we complete each other totally. Her getting a vagina and clitoris would ruin that balance: either she doesn’t use them and what’s the point, or she does, and it breaks what she’s always been and what we are.

I’d rather have her keep her boy genitals, which are so much smaller than mine that it actually arouses me. I thought a lot about it, and ideally, it’d probably be the best for her to get a “fake pussy”: no vagina hole, no clitoris, but no cock or balls either, just a stylized pussy shape that’d be a lot simpler and safer to build surgically. That way, she’d be at ease in a bathing suit/if she has to take a shower naked in front of people, and she could feel more like a “complete woman” (which, frankly, she already is to me), but without breaking our balance. I would love that very much. But I don’t know if it’s legal/where to get that safely, and how she’d react to my suggestion.

And another thing: do I have the right to tell her how I feel? It’s not my body. I’m just her boyfriend, and we only know each other for four years. Who am I to decide?

Everything I read from you make me feel we have similar views on things, I think you can understand me, and I really could use your opinion. Thanks!

Ultimately, it’s her body and she has the right to do what she wants with it, but she’s also asking your opinion. I think you should be honest with her, but preface your thoughts by saying that most of all you want her to do what she wants for herself. Tell her that you love that she is anal only and that she doesn’t have anything else to get distracted by. Tell her that you think she’s wonderful the way she is, but that if were to change, you still would want to stay anal only with her. You could even tell her about the idea of a decorative but nonfunctional vulva as a compromise, and see what she thinks about it. If she likes the idea, then she could start talking to surgeons who perform such procedures and see whether it’s an option.

Be honest, be open, and be supportive of her. Try to just have a good, healthy conversation about it together and listen to each other. Good luck, and let us know where you end up.

When I’ve asked women to spread, it can almost feel invasive. At least the first few times. It’s not like in porn where a woman moans then spreads her asshole out super wide and says “stick it in my shithole, baby”. No, it’s much more intimate than that. Especially for her.

I want my woman to feel like she’s giving me the holy grail of sex. I want her to act out with the confidence of seeing it as the ultimate compliment to her physical form. Her femininity should not feel under threat.

In conclusion, I want her to feel like her assholes worth a million bucks when we fuck!

One of several good responses:

Positive reinforcement is commonly one of the best ways to go. When you have anal, be sure to compliment her on all the things you love about her ass/asshole. Tell her how sexy it looks or how pretty/cute her asshole is, how good it feels to you, how much you appreciate using her ass. Don’t beat the horse about it, but do it enough times that the continued positivity will eventually make her feel more confident with it. She may not ever feel exactly how you feel about it, but her feeling more confident and at ease with it will certainly help a good deal in general.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

So, here I am…. I have been lurking on both the blog version and the forum itself and I was surprised and happy to see that there is an anal only lifestyle community and blog and it’s great that there are people that want to engage in anal only lifestyle. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to tell you guys what age I am during the time I got into anal, but I have heard of sodomy before and the idea of sodomy turned me on. I wasn’t anal only during that time, I don’t know why until I stumble up the anal only lifestyle blog last 2 years and that’s when I decide to identify as anal only as a personal choice of my own. Since sodomy is the only kind of sex I engage in (even if I don’t have a partner), I feel like anal makes me more happy and confident in my own sexuality. Not to mention that I never play with my pussy because it’s kinda weird and vagina exists for making children, and also I would say I’m a vaginal virgin and I’m glad I have never put something in my pussy because it’ll hurt. Every time I hear vaginal sex-related stuffs or whatever it is, I get sex-repulsed for weird reasons and I don’t know why, but that’s how my body react as well as my brain. But when it comes to anal, I always get horny and sexually aroused by it, even fantasizing about getting fucked in the ass makes me more sexually aroused and frustrated.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Talk to many women about anal sex, and if they aren’t already a fan, chances are that many have a lot of negative ideas about it. These ideas may come out of past attempts with inexperienced partners, stories from friends, or just various myths that spread through popular culture and the media.

But the reality is that some of the biggest enthusiasts of anal sex are women, because the potential for amazing pleasure can benefit women the most, and this highlights an essential path for encouraging anal to more people.

Those of us who love anal and know better than to believe negative myths and ideas about it should counter that negativity by being openly positive about anal and our love for it when it comes up in conversation. Instead of ignoring people when they say something negative, we should speak up and share our own opinions and experiences that are in direct contrast with that negativity.

Most people prefer positivity and want to like things, but it’s easy to get dragged down by negativity. When all a woman hears from her friends is jokes and mockery about anal sex, the chances of her wanting to try it is pretty minimal, but when she hears a friend share how it’s her favorite way to have sex and gives her the best orgasms she’s ever had, she’s probably going to want to try too, and it can start a dialogue about proper technique and how to begin.

So, the next time you hear someone say something negative about anal, be prepared to calmly and respectfully respond with your own positive opinions about it.