I’ve been reading this site for years, it was one of the places my now-husband showed me to help learn about everything on my own a bit when we first met and he was getting me into all this. Now we’re married and always been anal only together (we do clit stim tho), meaning I too have always been anal only as he was my first ‘boyfriend’. Now I even have some piercing to help enforce our anal only lifestyle/vaginal denial. Mostly decided to finally join because I’ve been bored out of my skull (spring 2020!) and have also recently found that I can be marginally helpful and interesting about AOL

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1. Do you get poop on your partner?

2. Do you develop anal incontinence?

3. Long lasting issues from too much anal sex?

To which another Reddit user responds:

More anal enthusiast than anal only, but I’ll take a stab at these:

1. Do you get poop on your partner? Not on purpose (unless he’s into that ?), but no matter how well you clean out, accidents will occasionally happen. Like everything else related to sex, communication is key, and knowing the limits of your body is a necessity. Good diet and establishing a bathroom and cleaning routine can help immensely.

2. Do you develop anal incontinence? Absolutely not. The anal sphincter is a muscle, and much like any other muscle in the body, it gets stronger with use, not weaker. I have learned what it feels like to relax my bowels, so I can warm up faster and worry far less about pain (initially, anal would hurt if I didn’t take time to warm up with plugs and toys but I can take a dick with no prep now), but I’ve never lost control of my bowels while not having sex.

3. Long lasting issues from too much anal sex? Only if you consider orgasms to be a bad thing ?. Anal feels great, makes me cum faster (and harder), keeps sex interesting, and somehow remains taboo (ass to mouth still makes me feel like a filthy whore). I love it!

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Anonymous: I read the post last week that criticized you for encouraging women to learn to love anal and keep practicing if they don’t enjoy it. I think that was really unfair, because women can definitely learn to love anal. I know because I’m a woman who started out in her same position and hated anything to do with my ass but my husband when we were dating in college really wanted to do anal with me and we talked about it and I agreed to try because I loved and trusted him and he started slowly and gently and showed me that I could actually feel really good with something in my ass and over a few months got me to where I begged him to fuck my ass. We’re still together and six years later we’re in an anal only marriage.

Was it hard at first? Sometimes, yes, but because he helped me to see the appeal and made me want it, I was willing to put in the effort to first try what he wanted, and then start to want it myself. But if you don’t want it, you won’t put in that effort and you’ll resist and resent what he wants to try, and that leads to never enjoying it.

Thanks for sharing, and you’re exactly right. I think anyone can learn to love anal, but they have to want to learn it. And if they’re coming into it from a position of being pressured or resenting their partner for making them do something they don’t want to, chances are they won’t enjoy it.

But if you like the idea and want to learn how to do it right, that will go a long way towards making you love a cock up your ass.

As a reminder to our readers, we always welcome your messages, questions, stories, and more. If you have anything that you would like to share or ask on this blog, please send us a message!

It doesn’t matter if it’s been asked before, or if you think your story isn’t interesting—we, and our readers, love hearing from you and want everyone to feel comfortable reaching out and sharing. It helps build this community, and encourages more people to step out of the shadows and share their own stories. And the more people there are openly talking about their love for anal only, the more it inspires others to feel comfortable trying it for themselves.

So don’t hesitate to contact us and share your anal only experiences, goals, dreams, questions or concerns.

Jim: Can you give an article on dating and how to approach those who you don’t know if they would be receptive to anal only or not?

Ah, the eternal question: how do I meet someone who shares the same sexual desires as me without scaring off people who might be into it but aren’t comfortable enough with me yet to say so?

This is actually the topic of a chapter in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, entitled Dating & Finding New Partners in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

I read a post from a redditor here saying he left his 22YO girlfriend for a woman 11 years older in hopes of having anal. When I’m having some girl-talk with my work mates, it is usually the older ladies who do anal sex (or at least admit it) specially the married ones. I never met a married woman who hasn’t had anal sex now that I think about it ( at least the ones that I know of).

And whenever I tried to talk about it with my friends, or when I was in school/college. They either were against doing anal, or very few said they did it.

Is it just my experience or is it really like this?

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Anonymous: As a married woman who despises anal sex married to a man who has attempted to pressure me for years to go AO, I hope you understand anal is not the answer or even pleasurable for every woman. We are now divorcing over this issue.

I’m happy spaces like this exist for my soon to be ex husband, but in the same way his sexual wants are entirely valid, so are mine.

Not all women will eventually find anal enjoyable. Please understand that’s okay too. I think your blog can be very pushy that women can be ‘convinced’ to like anal, and if they don’t like it, they’ve just been doing it wrong, or had bad experiences with it. I’m sure that is sometimes the case, but not always. As someone who’s former partner spent years linking this blog to me, I just felt the need to come out and say this –

I don’t like anal, because it’s just not my preference, it physically doesn’t feel good to me. It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t feel ‘dirty’. I just don’t like the sensation.

Thank you for sharing this message. It’s an important one. Not everyone does enjoy or prefer anal, and that’s okay.

That fact has been pointed out on this blog in the past, but as it has grown, and the majority of people reaching out have been those with an existing preference for, or open curiosity about anal sex, the tone has inadvertently ended up shifting somewhat, and I think it’s necessary to get a bit more grounded in recognizing that while it’s reasonable for someone to discuss anal sex and the anal only lifestyle with their partner, and try it together if they’re willing, not everyone is going to be interested or like it, and continuing to push them after they’ve made that clear will only push them away.

You can’t force liking anal or being anal only on someone, and trying to do it with someone who doesn’t enjoy it will backfire. Everyone has to be open and willing to try in order for something like anal only to work, and consent is essential in all things sexual.