We’re lucky to live in a time where anal sex is no longer considered to have nearly as much of the stigma that has been associated, and it keeps fading quickly. However, in many circles, people who may be okay with generally talking about sex with friends, family, or even partners, remain hesitant to talk about anal out of fear of being judged for liking or wanting it.

Additionally, some people feel a sense of personal shame when it comes to their enjoyment of and preference for anal sex, whether they’ve been pushed to feel that way by other people or not.

But this is not a good or accurate or rational thing. There is nothing shameful about anal sex. It’s a beautiful, passionate, pleasurable act that should be celebrated proudly, not hidden away or treated as a shameful secret. The more it’s treated negatively, the less people want to try it for themselves, the less people who enjoy it want to do it, and the less enjoyable it can even be for some people because it’s so deeply connected with negative ideas for them that it actually makes it harder to enjoy.

So let’s all do our part to avoid jokes or comments that treat anal sex and its enjoyment in a negative way and focus on putting it in a positive light both for ourselves and others. When people say something negative about anal, chime in with your own positive experiences and maybe you’ll help others start to see a different view too.

While pop culture might have you believing that anal sex is an act that can just happen organically without tons of lube and prep beforehand, that’s just not really how it goes. Sure, the ol’ “sorry, I slipped and almost went into the wrong hole” thing happens sometimes, but it’s rare that the slipping excuse would result in full-penetration in your ass — unless you had a LOT of lube involved on both your bum, your partner’s penis, and even then, unlikely.

But if you’re willing to dedicate some time to prepwork (aka anal training), do your research, and buy a few lubes beforehand, anal sex can be uber pleasurable. Who knows, it might even become your favorite.

Yes, anal sex does require some extra preparation, but aside from that, it’s just another sex act. Whether you’re still debating trying it out, or are already committed to doing it, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex for beginners.

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Loren: We have been doing double anal with hubby for many years but can’t do it all the time. Usually with his cock and a toy but twice with another man and many times with a trans woman which we both enjoy. This has led to anal fisting which puts me out of commission for at least a week. And of course we fuck the trans woman and the ass to mouth tasting each others ass on hubby’s cock is a huge turn on.

Is double anal all the time a goal for you, or do you prefer it as something occasional? With practice, I’m sure that you could make it a more regular thing if you wanted to.

As for fisting putting you out of commission for a week, it sounds like spending more time on warmup and gradually doing it more often until it doesn’t leave you sore or in need of recovery could be a good idea so you can enjoy it regularly without needing to take such a long break after.

Lube is pretty much required for anal sex — unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating and can’t get wet unless you help it out. Aside from skipping the necessary prep work, forgetting to use lube is one of the main reasons why anal can be unpleasant for some people.

Thicker lubes are best for anal sex, as anal walls are thinner than vaginal walls, and thus require a lube that can keep them nice and slippery to reduce the chances of cuts and tears inside the rectum. Abrasions increase your risk for contracting an STI, and nobody wants that. Overall, anal sex is considered particularly risky in terms of STI transmission, compared to vaginal or oral sex, so condom use is key (unless you’re in a monogamous relationship, and you and your partner have both been tested). And because of that, it’s important to make sure to use a lubricant that’s latex-friendly. Coconut oil and basically anything in your kitchen, for example, can’t be used with condoms.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the anus absorbs water quickly and can dry out easily when you’re using a water-based lube, according to sex therapist Kyla Black. Therefore, silicone-based lubes are usually the safest bet. That said, if you’re having anal sex with a silicone toy (like a strap-on or a dildo), or engaging in anal play with a silicone butt plug, go with a water-based lube and just make sure to use a lot. (Silicone breaks down silicone, and you don’t want your toys breaking down inside your butt.)

Whether you’re having anal sex with a penis or a toy, we want to make sure you’re having a safe and enjoyable time. Thankfully, there are lubes for every type of butt fun. Read on for our favourite lubes for your bum.

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Every No Pussy November, women around the world challenge themselves to try a month of anal only (AO) and often end up getting introduced to the anal only lifestyle and choosing to stay anal only afterwards. But just because you’re now anal only doesn’t mean the fun has to stop there, challenge months like NPN can provide you with the opportunity to try new challenges.

This year, more than a few women have already expressed their interest in trying what others started exploring the past year or two, and going double anal only (DAO) for the month of November to see how they like it—and then, of course, remaining that way going forward if they do!

As a result, this is going to be the official challenge this year for No Pussy November for any women who are already anal only and/or really enjoy or like the idea of double anal sex. Start training and preparing now with dildos or with partners so that come November you’re ready and eager to dive right in to a month of 100% double anal masturbation and sex!

What does this mean? When masturbating, you should use at least two dildos in your ass at the same time. When having sex, if you have one partner, you should have their penis and a dildo in your ass at the same time; or, if you have two partners, you should have both their penises or strapons in your ass together at the same time in whatever combination your partners have. And you do this every time you have sex, without doing single anal penetration.

For everyone else, fear not—there will be plenty of other fun challenges to try as well if double anal isn’t your thing! Stay tuned for coming announcements leading into No Pussy November 2020.

People wanting to try anal sex for the first time are usually attracted by what they’ve heard about it, or were asked by their partner to try it. Most who try anal have no information to guide them towards a pleasurable experience. Here is a list of important things to keep in mind if you want it to be enjoyable, repeatable, and something you and your partner will EVER want to do again!

1) There are two sphincter muscles, and both have to be relaxed for anal sex to feel good. The outer sphincter is a voluntary muscle, so with practice it can be relaxed at will. The second sphincter muscle  is an involuntary muscle about an inch and a half inside the anus. Because it’s an involuntary muscle, you’ll just have to wait for it to relax.  This can take up to twenty minutes for a beginner.

2) Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.  Anal sex feels amazing if the second sphincter muscles are relaxed. If they aren’t, forcing entry will bruise the muscles. That hurts a lot! When people talk about anal sex being painful, this is the stage they’re talking about.  Rectal tissues are much thinner and more fragile than are vaginal tissues. The only solution is to take things slowly – very slowly – and wait for the second sphincter muscle to finally relax by itself. Rush this step, and you may turn off the person involved to ever trying anal sex again.

3) Anal play requires lube. Lots of lube. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anus and rectum do not produce lubrication. Lubes specifically formulated for anal play are typically thicker to compensate for how absorbant the rectal walls are to moisture. Thinner lubes will be absorbed more quickly, and will  need reapplication. An alternative is silicone-based lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys. No matter what kind of lube you choose, use plenty and reapply.

4) Talk to your partner about how it feels. Waiting for the muscles to relax is a wonderful opportunity for communication, feedback, and lots of giggles! Yes, this is a chance to take things with some lightness and fun and even some silliness. Ask questions, answer questions, move slowly. This is a learning curve, as this is a whole new realm of sensations for the newcomer!

5) It gets better. Once relaxed, there is enormous potential for pleasure from anal sex. The second sphincter will eventually learn to relax much more quickly, taking cues from the first sphincter relaxing. This training can take months and even then can be finicky, so always take it slow.

We often tell people there are four major elements to anal sex: lots of good lubrication; lots of time; more lube; and more time.  Go slowly, have fun, and check in with your partner. Anal play is just that: play!

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This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

ripebabylady: What’s your opinion on Pussy denial? Do you think it’s important in an anal only relatioship?

I think that it’s dependent on each person’s individual interpretation of anal only.

For some, anal only primarily means no vaginal sex, and mixing some external vaginal or clitoral stimulation, or even fingering or use of a toy vaginally, is okay so long as they don’t have vaginal intercourse. That’s the fundamental defining element of being anal only, so as far as I’m concerned, people can call themselves anal only if that’s the case.

For others, they want to have nothing to do with their pussy or clit, and only think it’s acceptable if they deny it completely. This is also anal only, but more advanced and with more options. It’s what works better for some people.

Ultimately, it’s up to each person to decide what works best for them within the framework of anal only!

If you’re gearing up to have anal sex for the first time, you’ve probably got some questions. Chief among them: Is anal sex poop a real thing?

Ready for it?…Yep, it might happen. But before you freak out, rest assured that there are things you can do make it less of a, well, messy affair…and something you really enjoy.

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Over the past few years, first in pornography, and then more recently in real life, double anal sex has increasingly become more common, more desired, and more sought after.

Double anal has dominated porn, becoming a staple of group sex and largely sidelining traditional double penetration involving a combination of vaginal and anal penetration. Porn producers have commented on this, saying that double anal sells while double penetration doesn’t, and so DP generally only gets included as something extra, if it’s done at all—but more often, scenes are anal only with a focus on double anal. Essentially, audiences want to see anal and double anal the most. This is especially true for European studios and audiences, though it’s gradually becoming a global trend.

And in real life, people have become inspired by the widespread focus on double anal in porn, as well as a natural desire for more and bigger things in their ass which seems to come with the territory of anal play and sex for many people, and most anal only women who enjoy a bigger stretch or like group sex have developed a healthy interest in double anal.

In addition to the increased stretch and the ability for a woman to have anal sex with two different men simultaneously in a group sex setting or as part of a three-way relationship, double anal provides a phenomenal increase in pleasure that can’t be had any other way: by having two penises or dildos in the same rectum, they move in and out at different times and at different paces, and this causes stimulation that can’t otherwise be experienced. There’s also the mental stimulation of knowing that you have two men in your ass, sharing it and both enjoying it and getting off using it, and that can be very rewarding to many women.

Over the past couple years, dozens of women have communicated either through this blog or other platforms about their exploration and embrace of double anal sex, whether trying it on occasion, making it a regular part of their masturbation or sex life, or even making it their new normal way of having sex.

This focus has also led some women to becoming double anal only, where they prefer double anal to the point that they stop or generally avoid single anal sex as much as possible, instead doing double anal every time they have sex as their normal sexual outlet. In some cases, a promiscuous person who has sex with many different people often can make this sort of lifestyle work easily enough—though, in the age of COVID it can be more difficult. The majority of double anal only women end up being those who live with or have a relationship with multiple men and so always have two or more men available for sex at the same time, and can make it easily work to have double anal sex every time.

Whatever the arrangement, those who end up double anal only absolutely love it and have little interest in returning to single anal, to the point that some carry a dildo with them so that if they’re in a situation where only one man is available for sex, they can slide the dildo in alongside and turn it into double anal. Others will just do oral sex if there’s only one man, and anal if there are two.

What are your double anal experiences? Don’t hesitate to share them in the comments or by submitting your story.

Anonymous: Hi, do you know any vaginal chastity products, or like some tapes to cover your front part. I tried to deny my pussy and also clit but it’s difficult to.

Vaginal chastity is a great option to learn to resist your pussy and clit when you’re trying to go anal only! There’s actually a section in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle focused on this topic with an overview of the various options: The Use of Chastity Devices in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Good luck, and I hope that helps provide you with the information that you’re looking for!