Jess: If my husband doesn’t want to have anal sex due to religious beliefs and only wants vaginal sex, would anal sex with another partner be cheating if we only do anal and not vaginal sex? Vaginal sex will only be for him and my ass for play. I think as long as I maintain the vagina just for him, then I am not really cheating since he doesn’t want anal, right?

This depends entirely on your relationship and dynamic with your husband. Most people consider cheating to be any sexual or romantic activity with another partner without everyone agreeing that you aren’t monogamous.

If your husband agrees to let you be anal only with another partner, then it’s not cheating.

I’d encourage moving past vaginal sex entirely and going fully anal only, even if that means not having sex with your husband anymore. Perhaps he would agree to go oral only instead, where you simply give him blowjobs but he doesn’t use your vagina?

I’m about 7 months, and doc says sex is fine, no health issues etc. The issue I’m having is my partner’s uncomfortable with doing it this late and my libido is insanely high. Due to my size and lack of grace, solo play is very awkward, and the real thing is better than rubber. I’d love advice on how to allay his fears. I’m due in 10 weeks, and after that, there won’t be much going on in the bedroom for a couple months. I really want to get it while I still can.

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Jess: Does an anal creampie allow your body to absorb more testosterone via the colon? I have low libido since starting menopause and I wanted to use a testosterone supplement or simply ask my doctor for testosterone prescription to help increase my libido, but I am intrigued that maybe I can do this the natural way and see if this method can raise my own levels. Any tips on this? I have been swallowing but doesn’t seem to be working, should I try retaining it in my colon? Has anyone tried this?

While I am not sure on the amount of testosterone in semen compared to other supplement sources, rectal absorption is a great proven way of getting other known benefits from semen and is also commonly used to administer drugs and supplements especially in cases where oral consumption may prevent it from being properly absorbed due to stomach acid breaking it down. Anal absorption also tends to work faster.

In addition to the potential benefits of semen absorption, you will likely find that your libido increases by eliminating any clitoral and vaginal stimulation and focusing purely on anal stimulation. This tends to be a massive arousal boost, especially with the exclusion of clitoral stimulation and orgasm and learning to orgasm from anal only, because you won’t get the loss of arousal post orgasm that comes with clit stimulation.

Ok, so here is the thing. My gf (got together around 6 Months ago) is very sexually sensitive. So when we got together she was a virgin. Of course at some point we had a romantic evening and started making each other horny (I had many sexual partners before her so I waited for her to be ready). We tried having sex very carefully but it still hurt her, so we did other things to orgasm. We tried desensitizing her by using fingers and even had vaginal sex once. But she is so sensitive that it is really hard for her to enjoy it and not find it painful. Then she suggested anal. We found out, that she can orgasm from just her ass. So I was on board and now we do the anal only lifestyle for three months. However, I found it weird… so I looked for other people with a similar situation. During my looking around I found the AOL scene. It was not hard to find as I already had an Anal fetish, but for me something is missing without vaginal sex (not to mention, that I really want children one day). So I ask, what do you think about my situation and how did you get into anal only?

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Anal sex has always been extremely stigmatized and filled with misconceptions like it’s “dirty,” “gross,” or a sexual experience reserved exclusively for those of a certain sexual orientation. However, these thoughts couldn’t be further from the truth.

Certified sex therapist Aliyah Moore, PhD, says people likely think this way because “women, as natural vulva owners, have always been known to have sexual intercourse in the most conventional way, and that is through their vaginas.” But she also adds that it has to do with the fact that “we live in a culture that continues to associate anal with homosexuality, and where homophobia very much persists.” Thinking this way, however, not only perpetuates a harmful and sex-shame-y narrative, but it could also prevent you from exploring a sexual act that can elicit lots of pleasure.

Some medical professionals aren’t exactly helping combat the stigma, though. The British Medical Journal (BMJ) just published an article meant to call out the stigmatization of anal sex among clinicians and educate people about the health risks associated with anal sex, including “increased rates of fecal incontinence and anal sphincter injury.” The problem is in the reporting, the writers of the study use harmful language themselves that appears to shame those who engage in anal sex.

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Once thought of as a kinky, taboo act, ass to mouth has become fairly mainstream among practitioners of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. It’s still seen as something sexy and fun to do regularly, but it’s not a rare act—rather, it tends to happen throughout sex every time and a session can often be seen as lacking something if ass to mouth doesn’t occur!

While men commonly love and are turned on by this, it’s actually the women who prefer doing it and who often choose to make it a normal part of their routine. Performing oral sex immediately following anal sex builds intimacy and connection, boosts arousal and desire, keeps one in the mindset of anal sex and anal only, provides a natural source of lube, and it also just tastes really good. Contrary to popular belief, a clean asshole is very delicious and can taste sweet with a little spice.

So, if you haven’t tried ass to mouth yet, or if it’s not part of your daily routine yet, don’t you think it’s time you started?

I see a lot of posts on here about how people have partners to help them change their view on what their primary sex organ is. I’m single, so I don’t have anyone to help me in that area.

I used to do anal years ago and loved it, but due to some health issues I developed a hemorrhoid and stayed away from ass play for probably 8 years now. I’ve always wanted to go back to it, but I was worried about the pain and if the hemorrhoid would come back. Now I feel ready to start again. I’d like to buy some trainer plugs to start off with, any recommendations? I’d also prefer to be anal only by myself first and find a partner who never wants to fuck my pussy. I’d love to do clit denial too because I’ve always wanted to cum from penetrative sex. I already use orajel on my clit when I masturbate to train myself not to take pleasure from my clit. What is the best way to train my mind to see my ass as my primary sex organ and also be able to cum from anal?

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AubreyS: Hey! I went anal only with my husband in 2020 and we both really love it, we enjoy anal play a lot and have a really wonderful balance of him fucking my ass and me using dildos and strapons on him, and it’s really fulfilling. Neither of us miss vaginal sex at all!

But, we’d like to take it to the next level and stop clit stimulation for me too so I’m getting only anal stimulation and feel like we’re truly anal only. My husband wants this and finds it really arousing, but I honestly really want it too, the idea makes me super hot and I feel like my clit has held me back to some extent from true anal only.

I’ve been really addicted to my clit all my life, though, and giving it up is harder than expected. Do you have any advice?

Hey, that’s awesome that you have such a great anal only relationship together! I’m glad you’re committed to anal only and are ready to stop clit stimulation as well! There are a lot of benefits, including more intense pure anal orgasms and a total boost in desire when you eliminate the distraction and loss of arousal that clit stimulation brings.

I’d encourage trying a few different things:

• When you feel the urge to touch your clit, rub and finger your anus instead, clench down on a butt plug if you have one inside, or if riding a dildo or your husband’s penis, focus on the feeling inside your ass and thrust down deeper onto it. Really work on redirecting that clitoral arousal into an anal focus instead.
• Get and apply a topical anesthetic whenever masturbating or having sex so that even if you do touch your clit, you can’t stimulate it due to temporary lack of sensation. You can get mild anesthetics at most pharmacies over the counter, including Orajel and others intended for dental pain.
• Try taking it gradually. Giving up clit stimulation is more difficult for many women than giving up vaginal penetration, so this challenge is fairly common. See if you can get through a day without using your clit, then add another day. After a few days, try for a week. If you get through the week, see about going two weeks, or a whole month. Before you know it, you’ll have gone so long without it you won’t be as desperate for it, and you’ll have built up such a streak that you won’t want to go back. And if you do slip up, don’t feel too bad about it. It’s a part of the process oftentimes. Just jump right back in and keep going.
• If all else fails, you could consider a clit shield or chastity belt.

Good luck, and I’m sure before long you’ll be totally clit free and living the pure anal only life you want!

Many of us love anal sex. Often drawn to butt play for its taboo-turned-thrilling nature, it’s the benefits of anal sex that keep us coming back—especially the incredible pleasure the act can bring. 

“The sensations of anal sex are mindblowing,” says Dr. Sakshi Tickoo, a Mumbai-based registered sexuality counselor. “For penis owners, it is like recreating a blow job, but with an element of uncertainty, as the internal anal muscles contract and relax on their own—which is quite the plot twist.

“For vulva owners, it creates a sense of thickness and fullness, which in turn stimulates the other clitoral structures and creates a dual stimulation by just stimulating one organ,” the doc adds. 

So, we know butt play is fun— but are there also actual physical and emotional benefits to having anal sex? Whether you’ve tried it before or are exploring the idea for the very first time, there are many reasons to make anal sex your private playtime choice.

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In an age where abortion is rapidly being banned in parts of the United States and even birth control is coming under threat, it simply no longer makes sense to consider the vagina as a source of primary non-procreative sexual activity and pleasure. Now, more than ever, going anal only is the logical move.

Anal sex provides greater pleasure and intimacy than vaginal, with a much higher rate of orgasm for women than vaginal penetration can provide (less than 1/3 of women orgasm from vaginal sex). It’s also more desirable and attractive to a growing number of people, with anal rising the ranks through the generations and it’s now one of the top three most popular porn categories among Gen Z.

Most relevant to this topic, however, is the fact that anal is natural birth control and you can’t get pregnant from it. With hormonal birth control at risk of being next on the chopping block, not to mention all the negative side effects that can come from their use regardless, having vaginal sex is just too risky at this point if you aren’t actively trying to get pregnant. Going anal only provides increased sexual enjoyment and satisfaction with less pregnancy risk.

So, we should all recognize the vagina as being just the birth canal and not a primary sexual organ for the non-procreative sex that is the norm for almost everyone these days. Let’s move past vaginal sex for pure anal only!