It’s perfectly normal to be anxious or apprehensive about anal sex. After all, that area deals with some pretty, non-sexy situations. However, anal sex can be so pleasurable and is absolutely worth trying out, keep in mind things can go wrong if not done properly. Here are a few tips to make sure it has positive outcomes:

1. Talk It Over With Your Partner

Anal sex is not something that just spontaneously happens. Some people are very uncomfortable with the thought of anything entering their anus. This means, as a couple, you need to have a conversation and determine if it’s the right time for the two of you to try it out. This conversation should not happen fifteen minutes before trying anal sex! This is a conversation that should happen days, maybe even weeks before.

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We are currently long distance and only get to have sex once a week or so. We would like to prepare my arse for being used by him every day without discomfort. Am I better off plugging each day or using a dildo on it every day? I really want to be able to be used at his pleasure once were closer.

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Anonymous: I really like anal sex but it makes me sore after so we don’t do it very often. The idea of being anal only really appeals to me though, and I’d like to try. Is there a way we can do it without me getting so sore?

Anal is one of those things, kind of like exercise in general, where doing it more often and on a more consistent schedule will help you to enjoy it without becoming sore in the same way. Ease into it: start once a week for a few weeks, then twice a week, and increasing frequency over the course of several months until you can do it as often as you like. At that point, it’s easy to make the transition to anal only!

At the moment I can only cum from clitoral stimulation and anal, but I’ve read some posts on here where ladies have cum from just anal and I want that

An excerpt of several good responses:

I started to be fucked in the ass in July or August last year. Then closer to Christmas I started using buttplugs when I played with myself and earlier this month I used a vibrator and a dildo to play only with my ass! I kept playing when my body wanted to stop and then I squirted and came on the dildo! I was so proud I had to tell my Daddy (Dom) immediately

Little-CocoPops, /r/analonlylifestyle

My wife is the same way as you but unfortunately she doesn’t have the same hunger to cum solely from anal as you. We’re AO at this point because of some ongoing vaginal issues she’s having (which we suspect are due to her taking immunosuppressants for her autoimmune disease), but she needs her vibrator on her clit to cum, no matter what. She’ll have massive anal orgasms, but once she cums her psychological lust for anal dissipates, and she’s like “honey you gotta try to cum, I can’t go much longer.” Every time I broach the subject of “why don’t we try to slowly gradually train you away from your vibrator?” She gets pissed.

syncop8, /r/analonlylifestyle

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Ted: Hi! I’m Ted, a 26yo male VERY MUCH into anal. I knew I wanted anal only after watching my first porn video at 16yo. Thankfully, I’m attractive, with a boyish face that pleases the ladies, so I never had to compromise too much with vaginal or clitoral action. I’m either dating women who are already into anal, or getting women to try it.

My ultimate dream would be to be in a couple with a younger, complete vaginal virgin, who never had her pussy fucked and who barely/never stimulated her pussy at all (no clit/vaginal action), but who’d be available non stop for oral and anal action. Also, I’m into orgasm denial in the sense that to me, the only orgasms a woman should get are those gained naturally from anal.

Months ago, through friends, I met this cute 21 year-old who quickly grew fond of me. We had a few dates, we got closer, and recently, she confessed to me she’s a complete virgin, and she’d love me to teach her what sex is all about.

This is a golden opportunity. She’s beautiful, small, smart, innocent, funny, we have good things in common, she’s just my type of girl. I tried to question her about sex, and apparently, she has next to no experience, even by herself or through porn.

I’d like to know if you have any advice to help me get her into pure anal, no compromise. I’m very afraid to screw up and chase her away, even if she’s so much into me that IMO she could accept a lot.

I thought the better approach, rather than flat out say I prefer anal, would be to suggest anal for contraception, as a first step. I know she doesn’t take the pill, so I could say I can’t stand condoms and I’m scared to penetrate her vaginally. Then if I can get her hooked on anal, or at least be used to it, it’d be easier to go from there.

I’m already planning to use the content you have here, like the super well-made The Dangers of Clit Stimulation, to keep her from pussy action once she’s accepted anal.

What do you think?

I recommend being honest and up front and not trying to manipulate her, just present your case for preferring anal, why you think anal pleasure is so much better than vaginal, and how it can amplify her pleasure to keep things anal only from the start without distracting her pleasure with multiple sources and reducing both rather than focusing just on the one with the most potential for pleasure.

Present the benefits: greater pleasure, more intimacy and trust, and natural birth control. From there, you can talk about how it’s what you’ve always much preferred and how you think it’s really attractive and sexy that she hasn’t had vaginal sex and that you’d like her to try going and staying anal only with you and keeping her pussy virgin.

Do us a favor and try to do the splits. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

Can’t do it? Most people can’t without a lot of stretching and training first.

Turns out it’s the same for stretching your anus.

Like other muscles, your anal sphincter is only accustomed to stretching so far. If you want to loosen it up, it’s going to require some work.

Continue reading on Healthline

My boyfriend has a VERY big fetish on anal I did it with him a couple of times. But man it’s hurt so bad. My boyfriend has a very thick 8″ at first he used to break my pussy do you have any way to make it better we use a lot of water base lub. I want to please him so bad help me!!

roseemyboucher, /r/analonlylifestyle

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We received this message through our Bdsmlr blog, and it’s being replicated here to be viewed by a wider audience.

Anonymous: Firstly I’m a virgin and only done oral. When masturbating I find vaginal penetration painful and not pleasurable compared to anal. Any suggestions on working on anal only by myself and then bringing it up to a future s/o?

Thanks for reaching out! I definitely recommend going anal only and am confident you will find it much more satisfying than vaginal.

A good way to begin is to simply stop vaginal penetration, which it sounds like something that should be easy for you if you find vaginal painful and not pleasurable anyway, and switch your masturbation routine to always include anal penetration, whether with fingers, a butt plug, or a dildo. Working to the point that you can use a life-size dildo regularly will ensure that you’re ready for anal sex when with a partner in the future.

As for bringing it up to a partner, it’s best to just be honest early on in a relationship. If you’re going to have sex soon, tell them that you’re anal only and have no interest in doing vaginal but would love to do anal and oral often. Many guys will be perfectly happy with that. And if someone isn’t, then he won’t be compatible with you anyway and it’s best to learn that early on.

For more information on these topics and others, the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle goes into more detail, but also please feel free to follow up with more questions or updates if you have any!

Are you an anal only couple or individual? Do you live, work, or go to school in an environment that is conducive to talking with other open minded people about sex? Then consider starting a club of anal only women and couples to inform and educate about the anal only lifestyle and which encourages an ever growing number of people to adopt anal only!

While this can sound like an improbable idea at first, it can in fact be very rewarding and effective at encouraging other people to consider the idea and try it for themselves. As many of us know, once you try anal only for a month or two, it’s self evident that it’s a better way of having sex and easy to move past vaginal sex for pure anal going forward.

Be Honest & Open

When you’re talking with groups of friends and others you’re comfortable bringing up sex around, be open about your preference for anal, how great it can be, and how you’ve gone anal only. If others inquire about anal, or say negative things about it, share your positive experiences and how you actually really like it or even prefer it. Many people are afraid to express their love for anal out of a fear of being judged or mocked by friends, but too often groups get stuck in a loop of following the leaders and all expressing the same negative opinions even if they’re secretly curious and want to learn more.

If anyone shows interest in anal or wants to know more about your experiences or how to enjoy anal more, take the opportunity to give them your best advice and ensure they have a good chance at a pleasurable experience so they really enjoy it and want to do more. If others who already enjoy anal open up to you, encourage them to try going anal only for themselves. Recommending a month of anal only as a fun challenge to start with and explore it without a long term initial commitment is a good option for getting people to discover just how wonderful going anal only can be for them. Most people who make it through a month and stay anal only want to keep going.

Build a Support Network

Something that can help you in your own anal only life, as well as help others starting out, is having a local support network of people you’re close with who can be encouraging, informative and supportive of each other during their journey to be anal only. Old habits, emotions, and urges can flare up and tempt people to slip from their anal only routine, and having people they can talk to when that happens helps everyone strengthen their commitment to anal only.

As you help more friends and acquaintances go anal only, you can expand that support network and introduce each other so that everyone can learn and grow from others. Some people may be comfortable playing with each other and being directly sexually involved with each other, while others may just want to talk and share. Both are very valuable.

As people graduate, move out of the area, or otherwise drift apart, it can be a good opportunity to encourage them to start a new club in their new area and spread the anal only lifestyle even further.

Provide Helpful Resources

If you want to grow an anal only club beyond a small circle of friends, especially somewhere like a college campus, but elsewhere as well, a great option is to create an informational resource like a flyer, providing an overview of tips on how to enjoy good anal sex and contact information on how to learn more. It will attract people interested in anal, and a portion will then reach out to you for more information, at which point you can also start to get them interested in going anal only and joining your club.

Let’s all work together this year and beyond to do our best and introduce as many people to the anal only lifestyle and its many pleasures as we can!

Hi all, I’m new to the forum and have recently started plugging regularly. I’m interested in moving toward anal only or also more regularly at least, but my partner loves the ease of vaginal sex, particularly the lack of need for lube/and waiting for prep. Any advice to increase his pleasure with/desire for anal?

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

You’re definitely on the right track with plugging, which will help you relax open more quickly and also help you learn when and why you’re more likely to be clean. Move up in size when you’re ready!
You could also do a little discreet cleaning and lubing before you head for bed. Thanks to the plug this may be easier than you expect.
Let him know you enjoy being touched on the butt, and show him your pleasure when he does ..

FarmerDan, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I really cannot understand what’s wrong with man who complain about going anal only and still want to fuck vaginas. Maybe they’re normal and not perverted like me but WTF?! It’s my biggest dream to find an AO girlfriend and someone who has it turn her down for the ease of pussy…damn karma…

What can I say…you shouldn’t have to do it with me of course but beside FarmerDan good advices I can say you to be slutty. Turn him on. Show him your plugged ass while you’re around in the house. Show him your gaping hole, tease him being slutty.

Gapeman, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Thanks for the advice!

As a quick update, I told my partner how much I enjoy anal and told him I’m plugging regularly so he can easily take my ass. Unsurprisingly, he loves it and we’re having anal much more frequently. 

And as a bonus, my ass gets extra attention just from the plug. I’m regularly using the snug plug 2 (highly recommend for anyone who wants to have a silicone plug with some weight to increase the full feeling).

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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