Anonymous: Isn’t it unhealthy to practice ass-to-mouth? My girlfriend and I have been doing anal for a long time, and I wanna try ATM, but she says that there are a lot of bacteria and she could get sick. I think she’s totally right about that. What can we do?

If it’s visibly clean, and it’s her own ass, she’s probably going to be fine. Plenty of people do it without ever getting sick, but everyone and their immune system is different and it’s up to each person to decide the risk for themselves. There is a much greater risk of getting sick from another person’s ass than from your own.

You can also further minimize risk by doing an enema first. This is what’s what’s done in porn before any anal, ass to mouth included or otherwise.

Anonymous: I understand that an ass gape is too exciting. But don’t you worry if your girlfriend gets a permanent ass gape that doesn’t let her retain the poop anymore?

There’s not really any such thing as a permanent ass gape, except in extremely rare cases of severe injury/damage. Assholes gape as part of a combination of increased muscle control (so the muscles are actually stronger than normal, and can be consciously controlled more precisely) and relaxation. Having sex or using toys can help to open up and relax them, then the gape can be held open more consciously. But once you stop using it and trying to hold it open, it’ll start tightening back up naturally. With practice and use, an ass can gape and open up for sex more easily, but that doesn’t mean it’s loose all the time, just that it can be controlled, relaxed and opened with less preparation. Incontinence from anal sex is a debunked myth.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

whyuaskinme: Thank you, I’ve actually been worried about that also. Maybe now I’ll be able to relax moreand just enjoy it!

Anonymous: Is it normal to bleed from anal?

It can happen if you go too fast or aren’t careful, and occasionally it just happens for no apparent reason when you’re first starting out, but it typically shouldn’t be common if you’re using lube, warming up properly before, and not going too rough for the level of ability you currently have.

In general, a little bit of blood isn’t a sign of any major injury, probably just a very small tear that will heal in a day or two. I would suggest stopping whenever there’s a bit of blood and taking a few days to heal before doing more anal, just to be on the safe side and to avoid risking it getting aggravated more and potentially taking longer to heal.

Anonymous: Hi! Me and my boyfriend have been trying anal recently and it has been incredible, but last time it started out really good but then it started feeling uncomfortable. When I went to the bathroom to wipe up, I noticed some very, very faint blood on the tissue and it was just a little spot. Is this normal, or something I should be concerned about?

It’s not abnormal while starting to have anal for the first time, and it’s not generally serious, but it is a sign that you may have been doing a little too much too fast without enough warmup or practice. Once it starts to become uncomfortable or you notice blood, I recommend always stopping and reassessing. If there’s blood, stop immediately and wait a few days (or until any pain is gone) before trying again, just to make sure it heals well. Very few injuries from regular anal sex are serious on their own, but they can get aggravated and harder to heal if you continue stressing them by pressing on through the pain or continuing to have anal sex before they’ve healed. A tiny spot of blood is likely just a minor abrasion/tear that will heal in a few days, however, and I wouldn’t worry about it.

Do make sure that you’re both using enough lube and engaging in enough warmup before sex. Wearing a butt plug for half an hour or so before sex can really help with getting relaxed and warmed up, but fingering can as well. Sometimes you can seemingly do everything right but still—especially when relatively new to anal—notice a little spot of blood here or there. When that happens, just take a little break from anal and try again in a few days.

Anonymous: Hi! I love masturbating anally, and I use appropriate amount of lube, use a plug for a while before I do, etc. but after my ass gets really puffy/swollen. Is this normal?

Yes, that’s very normal. The area gets a rush of blood to it when aroused and stimulated, and it will swell up. As long as it isn’t painful or overly sore, there’s nothing to be concerned about, and even a bit of soreness if used for a long period of time can be normal. Just take a break if anything starts to hurt or gets too uncomfortable and you should be fine.

Anonymous: Hello! I’m a 23 yr old girl that knows that anal is fantastic since years ago. But, I still have some questions that hope you can answer: 1) Sometimes I want to have anal sex but my ass says NO; it doesn’t depend of the amount of lube and happens also when I’m hot as hell. Did this happened to you/some of your partners? Why this happen? What can I make for avoid it? 2) I’m very frightened about anal prolapse. What can I do for avoid this also? Thank you so much 🙂

Having difficulty with anal sex on occasion despite wanting very much to do it could be the result of a number of things. How often are you having anal sex or engaging in anal play? If a long enough period of time goes between, you may simply need more regular practice and more warmup before to help relax and prepare your anal muscles to fit a toy or your partner’s penis comfortably and without pain. I would suggest engaging in anal play more regularly when masturbating, as well as getting a butt plug or two to wear on occasion, especially in advance of having sex to help prepare. With more details about frequency and the particular issues you encounter, I might be able to offer more advice.

As for anal prolapse, this is really just not something to worry about for the vast majority of people. No link between anal sex and anal prolapse has been found, and it seems that the very rare cases of anal prolapse are actually the result of preexisting conditions. What is shown in porn semi-commonly is not actually the medical condition of anal prolapse, but a deliberate act where the performer pushes out with strengthened muscles while relaxing and loosening the anus itself. As long as you practice safe anal sex, anal prolapse simply shouldn’t be a concern.

When we met, my girlfriend (now my wife) was from a strict religious family.  She had never had sex of any sort and had just recently taken a virginity pledge at her church and wanted to remain a virgin until she was married.  We hit it off right away and in no time our hormonal urges were overwhelming.  Being young and so horny it was killing us to wait.  She masturbated me a lot.  Eventually she graduated to blowjobs.  Of course neither of these activities did anything to satisfy her desire for pleasure.  She or I would rub her clit while she was sucking my cock, but it just couldn’t get her off.

She’s actually the one that suggested anal sex.  This worked really well, as her Catholic upbringing didn’t allow for the use of birth control, including a condom.  We knew we needed to use lube and take it slow.  Our first time I used the only thing I could think of – Vaseline.  Doggy style just seemed like the easiest way to accomplish anal sex at the time, so that’s what we did.  We were both so horny, I blew my load on her ass just rubbing across her asshole.  She seemed really disappointed.  She knew that, as a teen, I would be ready again quickly though, so we just lay in bed rubbing each other until I was hard again.  This time, after just getting off, I was better able to control the urge to cum.  It must have taken us 10 minutes to slowly work my cock all the way into her ass, although it seemed like an eternity.  When we both realized my cock was buried all the way up her ass we just stayed like that for several minutes.  I could feel her ass tightening and relaxing around the base of my cock.  When she said she was ready I slowly began to work my cock back and forth in her ass.  Almost at once she started rubbing her clit like mad and pushing her ass back against me.  It was then that it happened, she let out a moan and I felt her ass pulse around my cock.  The thought that I had just brought her to her first orgasm and the fact that her ass was going wild on my cock brought me to orgasm.  It was the first time anyone had cum inside her.  We both collapsed forward on the bed, me on top of her, then rolled sideways with me spooning her.  My cock remained semi-hard in her ass as we lay there.  within 15 minutes we were at it again.  Again, she experienced an orgasm.

After this it was rare if we didn’t have anal sex at least once a day.  In the three years prior to our marriage, we never once had vaginal sex.  On our wedding night she couldn’t wait to try vaginal sex.  Although she was dripping wet, her reaction was almost immediate.  She said it felt really uncomfortable.  The look on her face made it clear she wasn’t enjoying it.  We continued this awkward exercise for several minutes, then she broke down crying.  She said she had wanted it to be special for our wedding night.  I told her it was alright and that we could try it again later.  As I moved my cock to her asshole, I felt it relax and willingly accept my cock as it had so many times before.  But this time it was different.  We were making anal love as husband and wife.  Within a few minutes her ass was pulsating in orgasmic bliss around my cock as I came deep inside her.  Then she was crying again.  She thought I would be disappointed our fist time making love as a married couple we had not been able to complete vaginal sex.  I assured her I thoroughly enjoyed anal sex and that it was alright.  I assured her we could try again later.  This seemed to calm her down.

For much of our first month of marriage the same scenario would repeat itself, including the crying  (talk about a wood killer).  Vaginal sex never became more enjoyable for either of us.  Eventually, during one of her crying fits, I told her I didn’t really care for the feeling of vaginal sex and I would prefer it if we just had anal sex.  She said she knew I was only saying that for her.  It took some convincing.  When she realized it was true she was overjoyed.  When she told me she had felt like a failure because she couldn’t please me with her vagina.  I told her I was only having vaginal sex for her because I thought it was what she wanted.  I told her I didn’t care if we ever had vaginal sex again and that she pleases me with her ass.  She immediately presented her ass for me and told me I needed to please her as well.

We’ve now been married nearly five years.  In the eight total years we’ve been together we’ve probably had anal sex several thousand times. Aside from the dozen or so times we tried vaginal sex the month after getting married, we’ve never had vaginal sex.  I’ve never cum in her vagina either.  Now we look back on her “virginity pledge” and have to laugh.  Since I’ve never cum in her vagina, I jokingly tell her she’s still a virgin.

I just wanted to thank you for educating people about the possibilities and tell you our story.  To any of your readers who are concerned about the long term effects of anal sex, we have continued to have anal sex almost every day for nearly eight years and she had had no issues whatsoever.

Anonymous: So most sexy things have an un-sexy consequence… Has toying around with your butt to the extent which you have ever resulted in unfortunate -err- ‘waste’ issues?

willowkitty: There are two ways I can read this question, so I am going to address both to ensure I cover it all; “Have things gotten messy while you are playing?” and “Have you had any incontinence issues since you have been taking larger toys?”

Keep in mind that I am not a medical professional, so what I am about to tell you is what I have learned from reading articles online, my own experiences, and talking to experienced anal players.

Now, first thing you need to know is that your anal canal & lower colon (aka Rectum, and recto-sigmoid segment) do not store feces. Feces are stored higher up in your colon (higher up in your sigmoid colon to be exact), and move down towards your anal canal when you produce a bowel movement. It is very important to eat a healthy diet with enough fibre, as this will ensure that you are regular; if you are constipated or loose, then there will be issues.

Secondly, you can also take preventative measures if you desire. You can clean yourself out with an enema or an anal douche, though this is not necessary at all; a quick shower beforehand to wash around your anus, and maybe slip a finger in will work well (do not use soap, you will hurt the sensitive tissues & bacteria that needs to thrive there). The difference between the two is that with an enema there is generally more fluid and you are holding it in a for a while before you expel, and with a douche you are expelling right after you fill yourself up; douching is a good way to just give a quick rinse to your anal canal. If you are going to preform an enema or douche before anal, you need to be careful. You will want to do it a few hours before play, to allow your rectum to recover the bacteria that you flush out. There is a lot of bacteria in your rectum that is necessary, and if you flush too often you can actually hurt yourself and do permanent damage. Of course, if you are careful then you will be fine. Use sterile equipment, and after your are done ensure that you sterilize it again; you do not want to introduce too much foreign bacteria. There are different kinds out there as well: bulbs, and then more elaborate systems for deeper flushes. Most people use warm water (do NOT add soap as that will irritate you), but you can also use an enema solution. Do not use solutions meant for vaginal douching! I recommend buying something over the counter, but there are recipes for making it at home as well. You also need to do this very slowly and listen to your body. If you start to feel uncomfortable, or feel cramped up then your body is telling you that you have gone too far. If you have any sort of digestive issues, please go see your doctor before you do this. If you do flush often and notice a change in your digestive system then please go see your doctor.

It is not absolutely necessary to flush yourself beforehand though.As I said, if you are regular then you should know whether or not you need to go. If you have had a bowel movement within a few hours before play, then you should be good to go. I personally usually do not flush myself before I do my stretch training, and I have not had an issue at all. Once I start doing more depth training I will start playing around with enemas more. I am very committed to eating well, and I can pretty much predict when I am going to have a bowel movement now based on the time of day.

I also just want to say that even with preparation, and regular movements sometimes there might still be a small amounts of fecal matter; a speck or two perhaps. This is not the end of the world, and is perfectly normal. A lot of people worry about this, and feel shameful but it is not something to fret about. If that makes you uncomfortable, then perhaps anal sex is not for you. If you are having anal sex with someone, and they happen to react to such an incident I want to assure you that there is nothing wrong. Do not let that person’s reaction tarnish your view of anal sex. Sometimes these things will happen.

I do not think that this is an “un-sexy consequence” as that has far too much negativity surrounding it. It is just a natural process of the human body, and human bodies are sexy as fuck. 

To address the other way that the question can be read, have I had any issues with incontinence since taking large toys and stretching out my ass?

Short answer: No.

I have not had any issues at all. I can tell you that ever since I started training my anus to take larger toys, the muscles have become stronger. If you think about it, I am training myself to have better control of my anal sphincter; practice relaxing and opening up, and gripping around my toys. I have been very focused on this to perfect my gape abilities. My ass has never been this tight!

I hope that answered your question thoroughly. Feel free to ask for any clarifications if you need to 🙂

Again, I am not a medical professional so everything stated here is based on my own readings, my experience, and discussions with experienced anal players. 

Anonymous: Would it be dangerous in anyway to sleep plugged?

begginglittleslut: My initial thought is no as long as it’s clean and everything, but I’m actually not sure. I’ve done it before and haven’t had any problems. Maybe @analsexonly would have a better idea though 🙂

The only potential danger would come from a plug with too small a base. If that is not an issue, go for it. If you aren’t used to long term plug wear yet, you may find that it becomes uncomfortable during the night. If this happens, just remove it and try again another time.

Anonymous: Hey there! First of all, great job with this blog 🙂 my BF show it to me and we talked and tried anal sex for the first time ! I than decided to share this unexpected experience with you :p That was very weird at first! I thought my BF’s d**** will never get inside. I guess I was resisting :p but afterwards, the feeling was honestly great! I mean new to me but really good. I’m glade we had fun! Now I’m still afraid of anal. Do you have any advice to avoid anal problems? Like incontinence…?

Thank you, and congratulations on an enjoyable first experience with anal!

Incontinence from anal sex is largely a myth. It can occur from severe anal damage, but even regular anal sex will not lead to this if you follow safe practices and avoid doing anything painful. Regular anal training and sex, especially if you incorporate plugs like toys and do kegel exercises, will end up strengthening the muscles rather than weakening them and leading to incontinence. The “looseness” people associate with anal sex is a combination of short term looseness after the fact, and conscious control of some of the muscles involved that can make penetration easier as you develop that control. But it always naturally returns to its tighter state when not being used.

Anal prolapse, another commonly cited issue resulting from anal sex, does not have evidence linking itself to sex, and it’s believed that people who get an anal prolapse already have the preexisting conditions that will eventually develop into that prolapse and that it has nothing to do with anal sex. (Many of the prolapses in porn aren’t true examples of the potentially serious medical condition of anal prolapse and are done deliberately for the camera by people who have developed the ability to do it.)

As long as you use lube and stop if anything is actively painful to take a break or use a smaller toy for a little while before trying again, or if you are bleeding, you should have no problems. With safe anal practices, there are plenty of people who have been having frequent anal sex for decades with zero health issues as a result of the sex.