Anonymous: It really frustrates me when people talk shit about anal without knowing the truth. I hear guys and girls both saying bad things about it, saying it’s bad for you, will make you have to wear diapers, hurts or is degrading to girls, liking it means you’re gay, etc etc. I bet almost none of them have even tried it! I’m anal only because my boyfriend and me love anal and don’t want to do vaginal, it doesn’t hurt and it’s not degrading, it’s just what we love! But if I say that, they’ll mock me.

Don’t worry about what people say out of ignorance. You know that you’re right, because you’re actually experienced anal and know that it’s not just great, it’s better than vaginal. That’s the reality. Like you said, they probably haven’t even done it or have only tried it once or twice with someone who didn’t know what they were doing. People who don’t know what they’re talking about with a sexual subject will often make fun of it or spread misinformation to try and fit in with the other people who are similarly ignorant.

That said, I think it’s a great opportunity to speak out and share the reality of anal with them. Just tell them that actually, you really like anal and do it all the time, and it’s not bad, it doesn’t hurt, it’s not degrading, etc. Share your experiences and your perspective and tell them how it’s your favorite way to have sex. More often than not, you’ll get some of them interested, even the ones who mock it the most, and they might want to learn more and try it for themselves. If they do, help them discover just why anal is so much better. You have an opportunity to make a real difference with them.

Anonymous: My wife and I have been moving more into the AO territory. (We both give and receive. ?) However, occasionally we’ve noticed that our diets (and daily activities?) can affect the amount of pleasure as well as “unwanted visitors”. What are some good habits to get into food or otherwise, that you’ve noticed help with the AO lifestyle? How much prep goes into each time?

A generally balanced diet that’s relatively low fat and relatively high fiber, along with a good exercise routine, can really help establish a natural baseline for cleanliness. From there, light douching/rectal flushing with warm water as needed. Not much cleaning effort should be generally needed once you establish a good routine.

alwaysanalblog: An apprehensive reader asks:

My husband and I really enjoy anal sex. I need a lot of foreplay, and it always kind of hurts at first, but once we get going, it feels really good and makes me climax. I have two questions for you, though. The first is, why does this feel good and give me orgasms? I don’t get the anatomy of this. It seems to me there is nothing in there that should feel this good. Secondly, what are the long-term effects of anal sex? My husband would have it all the time if I let him, but I try to keep it to once a month due to the fact that it takes a lot of time to warm me up and sometimes I’m just not into the initial pain involved. I’m also afraid that, if we do it too frequently, the long-term effects could be negative.

Part of the problem not addressed in the article is that the reason it can hurt at first is because she isn’t having enough anal – once a month simply isn’t frequent enough to get the anus in physical condition for sex.

Still, the response gets it right in one respect:

When it comes to anal sex, you’ve got several feel-good nerves working for you, including the pelvic nerve running to the rectum and the pudendal nerve to the muscles surrounding the anus. So your orgasms back there are perfectly — and anatomically — normal.

The author of the article goes on to list only two possible long term effects. One of them, rough sex, is only temporarily inconvenient, while the other, anal cancer from HPV, is just as likely with vaginal sex and isn’t unique to anal.

They finish with:

But there’s no reason to deny yourselves the pleasures of the back door. Being able to orgasm in different ways is an anatomical perk. Enjoy it.

Read More

alwaysanalblog:

• Anal sex provides a completely different set of feelings during orgasms for both partners. Not only are the pleasurable sensations different, anal sex can also help enhance a couple’s sense of intimacy.
• Some couples are turning to anal sex as an alternative to vaginal penetration. This can be due to a number of reasons, including health conditions.
• Over 36% of women recently reported having anal sex at least once, and this increase can also be caused by society’s general acceptance that sexual intercourse is meant to be enjoyed. It is not an act to be performed only for procreation.
• With more couples willing to experiment with new sexual positions, anal sex has become less of a taboo subject and more of a normal and healthy sexual relationship. Over 44% of all heterosexual men admitted to engaging in anal sex.
• Anal sex is as natural as vaginal intercourse. It is simply a different way for couples to give and experience pleasure.

Read More

yesannarose: Hi, im new to anal play and was wondering how long I can keep a silicone plug in?

As long as you want and it feels comfortable to do so! It’s certainly not going to harm you to keep it in even for quite a long time, and your body will let you know if it wants it out. Listen to your body, and the more you practice with it, the longer you’ll be able to comfortably wear it. Enjoy!

Anonymous: One of my biggest fantasies is anal with minimal prep/consensual non consent around anal. I’ve had some success with this (no training, LOTS of lube), but I’m wondering if this is feasible in the long term. Could I be injured by doing this? Thanks so much for your blog! ?

It’s definitely possible to get to the point where you can have anal with minimal preparation and just a little bit of lube/saliva, but you need to train to that point and generally shouldn’t attempt it early on. Keep up regular anal and anal play and keep pushing yourself further with it, and you’ll find it keeps getting easier to jump into it with less warmup first.

Anonymous: What are the pros and cons of having my boyfriend cum in my ass? I want to try it, especially because I wouldn’t mind feeling some of his cum drip out of me and down my leg in public, but I want to know what I’m getting myself into if he does

The pros are that it feels good and is sexy and hot for everyone involved, plus semen absorption via the rectum has actually been studied scientifically and it has health, arousal, and mood benefits for women. The cons are limited: it can leak out later, and for some women it may cause cramping or an urge to use the restroom. That is not universal, however, and all you need to do is experiment with it a few times to see what its effects are for you.

Anonymous: Hey there, I’m nervous to have anal sex with my boyfriend but we both really want to. I have read everything on how to take it slow and how to make it feel better, but I have an awkward question. Does it stretch out the anus? Or will it go back to normal?

It will absolutely go back to normal. The anus is a muscle (or a set of muscles) and just like you can stretch your other muscles (e.g. before exercise), you can stretch your anal muscles, but that doesn’t make them function less or change the fact that the default state of anal muscles is tight and closed. It’s more that you increase their range of flexibility and, over time, conscious control.

Cosmo continues to work to shed its past image of bad sex tips with a well-written article debunking myths about anal sex. Check out some excerpts below.

Anal sex has an unfairly bad reputation. In this, the unofficial Era Of Ass, anal sex deserves a rebrand as the totally fine, very safe thing that it is. It’s time to shed the taboos and bust the myths.

THE MYTH: YOU CAN JUMP RIGHT IN.

The truth: Mm, not quite. Your rectum isn’t as pliable as your vagina, and also unlike the vagina, it’s not self-lubricating. Vanderlinde strongly advises taking your time if you’re just starting out, and working your way up using smaller things like fingers and thin toys. “Sometimes it takes a few different encounters,” Vanderlinde says. Patience!

THE MYTH: IT WILL HURT.

The truth: Anal sex doesn’t have to hurt. It’s often just done incorrectly. Many women find it incredibly pleasurable, and some even report having orgasms with them. If you and your partner start slow, work your way into insertion with smaller implements like fingers and sex toys and use plenty of lube, pain will be the last thing on your mind.

THE MYTH: ONCE IT HURTS, IT WILL ALWAYS HURT.

The truth: So you tried it once and insertion hurt really bad. You made your partner stop and vowed never to go “back” there again. You don’t have to shut the backdoor because of one or two negative experiences. Most of these experiences have to do with not following the above instructions: Go slow, graduate in size and use lube. Plus there is a nice trick to get you relaxed. If you also stimulate your clitoris at the same time it can encourage the pleasure over pain response.

THE MYTH: ONLY “SLUTS” HAVE ANAL SEX.

The truth: You’ve always heard that bad girls are the only ones willing to have anal sex. In actuality, anal sex was once voted the number one taboo sexual behavior that heterosexual couples want to try. So obviously, we all can’t be sluts. There’s a natural curiosity about our bodies and if there is pleasure to be had, you should feel you can explore that in a safe and healthy way.

The following one, however, isn’t perhaps as much of a myth as they suggest, given this community. It’s certainly not something that’s universally true, but it’s definitely the case that a lot of men lose a lot of interest in vaginal after experiencing good anal, but until recently many of those men haven’t admitted that very openly. So they hedge somewhat in their answer, and end up staying too conservative here.

THE MYTH: ONCE YOU GIVE YOUR PARTNER ANAL SEX, IT WILL BE ALL HE WANTS.

The truth: It’s no secret, many men do cop to the fact that they enjoy the additional tightness the anus affords as compared to the vagina. But most men don’t want to give up the main entry either. Vaginas are still revered. Anal sex tends to be a “treat” mixed into your regular sexual repertoire of play.

Better to tell the truth and admit that yes, many men will prefer anal sex and it doesn’t need to stay just a “treat”, but can become the main element of your sex life if you both enjoy it and want it to.

Read the full article at Cosmo

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

alwaysanalblog: Agreed on that last one. There will always be exceptions, but for the most part experience of anal will change your views of sex forever. Most men, understandably, won’t want to go back to what they now can see to be inferior.

This is a case of Cosmo playing it safe, trying to to scare the readers but assuring them their vagina’s are still “special”. The truth would be hard to swallow and be counter productive. So while it’s not really true, I think Cosmo made a wise choice to downplay this.

Anonymous: I’m a little longer than average and while my girl doesn’t like deep vaginal but goes crazy for deep anal. She’ll be almost bent double knees up to her boobs so I can get it all up there. No complaints from me as it feels great. But I’ve read the colon bends and I worry that I may damage something some time. Doesn’t seem to concern her but I’d like to be sure its okay. Thanks.

If it doesn’t hurt her and doesn’t cause bleeding, it’s perfectly okay. You want to avoid painfully forcing something past sharp bends in the colon, but with warmup and practice it’s perfectly fine and safe to pass those bends—they straighten out temporarily in the right positions and with practice. Everyone’s a bit different, too, unless either of you notice when you pop through the bend and can really feel that happen, it’s likely she just has a longer rectum and can fit you fully inside without passing beyond into the colon.

Enjoy! Sounds like you both have a great time with it and are lucky to have a partner who enjoys the same.