Anonymous: I’ve been only having anal sex for several years and I love it. I have really wanted to stop rubbing my clit too, but I struggle with that a lot more than stopping vaginal penetration. It was easy to stop doing vaginal, anal feels a lot better. But I always still give in to rubbing my clit sometimes, especially on my own. When I’m having sex it’s easy. But if I’m just masturbating, it’s hard to resist. Do you have any advice, and how important do you think it is for anal only girls to not touch their clit?

Congratulations on being anal only for several years now!

Clit stimulation and whether it continue it as part of being anal only is very much a matter of personal preference. Many people in the anal only lifestyle have no problem with continuing clit stimulation and just replace vaginal penetration with anal. Some avoid it during sex but do it when masturbating. And others avoid it entirely, finding that it makes it harder to commit to the anal-centric mindset and lifestyle or makes it harder for them to orgasm from anal.

If you’re happy with how you are, then enjoy it and don’t worry about what other people do. Anal only is fundamentally about anal penetration instead of vaginal penetration, and things like excluding clit stimulation as well are additional choices on top of that which can pair well with it for some. But if you really want to pursue clit denial, especially if you feel like you lose arousal or feel depressed after clit orgasms, there are some things that you can do.

• Work on orgasming from anal penetration instead. If you can already do this, try doing it more often to make it easier so your body gets more used to anal orgasms instead of clit orgasms.
• Challenge yourself to gradually go longer and longer without clit stimulation. A few days at first, then a week, then a few weeks, then a month, etc. If you give in to the urges, just pick back up and try to beat your previous record. The longer you go without it, the easier it will get in time, and the more your arousal will become anal centric.
• Use tape on your pussy or a small amount of numbing cream to temporarily remove sensation from your clit when masturbating. If you want a long-term solution, consider a clit shield.

For more information on clit denial and how to move past it, read our guide on the Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex.

Anonymous: Covid has made it really hard for me, it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex and I’m really lonely and really want to be in an anal only relationship. I’ve been trying my best to keep things anal only but it’s easy to give in and masturbate other ways too when there’s no end in sight and I get really jealous reading about couples who were together before it all started and have been able to use this time together to go anal only or try new things but for everyone else dating doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time with it. I think a lot of us who are single are experiencing something similar, and it is hard when we want to date and meet new people but we can’t. Hopefully things get better soon, though!

As for staying anal only in the meantime, you can always try to spice things up again and give yourself new challenges, or you can try to meet someone online and have them challenge you and give you some level of motivation and commitment.

Best of luck!

I’ve been reading a lot of posts relating to haemorrhoids. Most people say it’s caused due to enemas or douching. I think I use the municipal water for enemas. I love fingering myself but after reading these post I’m scared to do enema and I don’t want haemorrhoids. Please tell me how do I avoid haemorrhoids and still continue anal play

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Bob: Hi we’re a MF couple with myself a Bisexual Hetero Relationship and my gf is a Bisexual.

We have discussed my interest in being pegged and she’s happy to try it out, but she doesn’t know that I have been doing anal masturbation for a few years and able to fist myself or take big toys.

I know truthfulness / trust is important for a relationship but I’m anxious that she may freak out as she doesn’t do anal herself and more on the vanilla side to sex.

And so I was wondering if I should keep it all a secret and start small, so that we can both enjoy training my hole.

She already knows that you want to be pegged, so you could open up about the fact that you already play with your ass on your own and want to include her in it as well. You don’t need to say everything all at once or how experienced you are with anal play—not necessarily keeping it secret, just easing into it over time with her. If she wants to talk about it more and asks you, tell her, otherwise let her discover your interest in it gradually as you start exploring.

Or, if she proves very receptive to the idea and enjoys exploring it with you, open up more quickly about it and tell her all about your interests in anal play.

Anonymous: Years ago, to torture myself i used to have ruined orgasms, everyone has their opinion but i think that for you to be anal only you can’t cum at all. So i would play with my clit and when i was almost there, i would stop. I enjoyed doing that cause it was a HUGE torture. Do you recommend ruining orgasms or not touching the pussy at all?

It really comes down to personal preference and what works best for you. For many, the goal of clit denial with anal only is avoiding the distraction of an easier form of orgasm so they can learn to have anal orgasms instead, and so it makes sense to end clit stimulation as a result.

However, for others who prefer anal penetration but need clit stimulation or clit orgasms to stay focused on and committed to the anal only lifestyle, edging, ruined orgasms, or clit orgasms in combination with anal can work well for them.

If your goal is to avoid anything vaginal or clitoral, then I suggest not touching it at all and focusing purely on anal stimulation and penetration.

We received this message through our Bdsmlr blog, and it’s being replicated here to be viewed by a wider audience.

Anonymous: Firstly I’m a virgin and only done oral. When masturbating I find vaginal penetration painful and not pleasurable compared to anal. Any suggestions on working on anal only by myself and then bringing it up to a future s/o?

Thanks for reaching out! I definitely recommend going anal only and am confident you will find it much more satisfying than vaginal.

A good way to begin is to simply stop vaginal penetration, which it sounds like something that should be easy for you if you find vaginal painful and not pleasurable anyway, and switch your masturbation routine to always include anal penetration, whether with fingers, a butt plug, or a dildo. Working to the point that you can use a life-size dildo regularly will ensure that you’re ready for anal sex when with a partner in the future.

As for bringing it up to a partner, it’s best to just be honest early on in a relationship. If you’re going to have sex soon, tell them that you’re anal only and have no interest in doing vaginal but would love to do anal and oral often. Many guys will be perfectly happy with that. And if someone isn’t, then he won’t be compatible with you anyway and it’s best to learn that early on.

For more information on these topics and others, the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle goes into more detail, but also please feel free to follow up with more questions or updates if you have any!

Hi all, I’m new to the forum and have recently started plugging regularly. I’m interested in moving toward anal only or also more regularly at least, but my partner loves the ease of vaginal sex, particularly the lack of need for lube/and waiting for prep. Any advice to increase his pleasure with/desire for anal?

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

You’re definitely on the right track with plugging, which will help you relax open more quickly and also help you learn when and why you’re more likely to be clean. Move up in size when you’re ready!
You could also do a little discreet cleaning and lubing before you head for bed. Thanks to the plug this may be easier than you expect.
Let him know you enjoy being touched on the butt, and show him your pleasure when he does ..

FarmerDan, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I really cannot understand what’s wrong with man who complain about going anal only and still want to fuck vaginas. Maybe they’re normal and not perverted like me but WTF?! It’s my biggest dream to find an AO girlfriend and someone who has it turn her down for the ease of pussy…damn karma…

What can I say…you shouldn’t have to do it with me of course but beside FarmerDan good advices I can say you to be slutty. Turn him on. Show him your plugged ass while you’re around in the house. Show him your gaping hole, tease him being slutty.

Gapeman, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Thanks for the advice!

As a quick update, I told my partner how much I enjoy anal and told him I’m plugging regularly so he can easily take my ass. Unsurprisingly, he loves it and we’re having anal much more frequently. 

And as a bonus, my ass gets extra attention just from the plug. I’m regularly using the snug plug 2 (highly recommend for anyone who wants to have a silicone plug with some weight to increase the full feeling).

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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Anonymous: Here’s a question I’d be curious to see answered – What are some fun ways to incorporate anal training into your regular sex routine? I want to find ways to bring in some anal training that feel fun and exciting for my wife (rather than feeling like it’s a chore or getting bored during prolonged foreplay).

We already do some butt play regularly, but we are looking to building up to regular penetrative anal sex. We’re not totally new to anal sex, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve done it. We’re already pretty familiar with fingering, rimming and small plugs.

I’m thinking the best way to go about it is to increase our use of butt plugs and gradually increase the size. Is there a good way to do this without it feeling too clinical? Or maybe a way to make the process feel a bit sexier?

Thank you!

Ps. I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog!

Using butt plugs is a great option, and jeweled plugs can can be beneficial in that they both provide some level of training and have aesthetic appeal as well for many people, making them like a form of sexy jewelry that can be worn before and during other sexual activity.

Incorporating rimming and fingering as a regular part of foreplay even when you aren’t going to have anal sex can also be a great way of normalizing it and making it frequent.

By doing it regularly even when you don’t proceed to anal sex afterwards, it helps with training by keeping it a frequent activity, and makes it so that once you do start anal sex again, she’s already more used to it and partially warmed up from having done anal play regularly at a lower level.

I am new here and in this lifestyle, I chose this path about nine months ago, which have been the best days and the best decisions of my life.
I chose to be AO because my life got boring and monotonous just with vaginal penetration.
The boys of my country are a bit prejudiced regarding this issue, so as you know I have not yet had a boy who has penetrated me anally.
Also my biggest concern has always been pregnancies, I already have a child and I don’t want to have more babies.
I have been single for many months, precisely for this reason of having sex and getting pregnant, contraceptive methods are not safe, that is how I am entering this lifestyle.
For a few months after I broke up with my boyfriend I was masturbating vaginally but it was very boring, so I took the initiative to practice anal masturbation.
I searched many pages, on Twitter I found Anal Only Style Life which has been a good advisor and guide for my process.
I bought a plug, a dildo and a lubricant, daily I massaged my anus with my fingers until I managed to dilate it and I was able to insert the plug.
During the nights I slept with my anal plug on, over the days I was able to change my plug for the dildo, it has been a good therapy for anal dilation.
With this experience I convinced myself that it is a beneficial lifestyle, it is the best contraceptive and much more pleasant than my pussy.
I am currently in the process of masturbating to reach anal orgasm without the help of the clitoris, I am also aspiring to be an anal queen, I am very enthusiastic about this.
I am very proud of what I have accomplished.
I must emphasize that in only anal I will remain and that there is no going back.
Once anal, always anal!

JuneSweetyHot, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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Last year, sexual-health experts named anal pleasure the next great frontier sexual exploration. And while it’s great that many folks are familiar with (or getting familiar with) tricks and toys to enjoy rimming, plugging, and pegging, that’s hardly the edge of what butt stuff has to offer. Enter: anal fingering, which involves using a finger (or two or five) to penetrate, thrust into, or apply pressure to the anus for the sake of pleasure. According to certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair, CEO of anal-play-product company B-Vibe, the anus is rich with nerve endings, and stimulating them can be pleasurable. (Some folks even have anal orgasms.)

As far as benefits from from trying anal fingering, the most obvious is that you already have the tools you need in order to get started, well, on hand. Furthermore, anal fingering is an incredibly intimate experience. “When one partner fingers another, both partners get to enjoy the tactile sensation and sensuous of that experience,” says Sinclair—and the same isn’t necessarily true when a dildo, string of anal beads, or dildo is used. Now for the fun part: The anal fingering guide you need in order to start enjoying.

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