Anal gaping is a term you probably won’t hear much outside of porn websites. It’s probably the most extreme form of anal stretching possible, and takes hours for your anus to recover from. While you have a gaped anus, you can even see some of the internal rectal muscles.

A gape is essentially an opening in the anus. This is usually caused by an extended period of anal sex, giving the muscles enough time to get used to being open, and remain open when the penis or sex toy is removed. It isn’t necessarily done in a violent or nasty way, although it might look like that in some porn movies. Gaping is simply another aspect of sex that some enjoy, and others will find quite strange.

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If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

Do us a favor and try to do the splits. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

Can’t do it? Most people can’t without a lot of stretching and training first.

Turns out it’s the same for stretching your anus.

Like other muscles, your anal sphincter is only accustomed to stretching so far. If you want to loosen it up, it’s going to require some work.

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So I love anal…a lot. Crave it. Was wondering if clit denial will make anal even better? My partner likes the idea of no clit stimulation, says not touching my clit but knowing how badly I want it makes him so hard. Any other guys feel that way?

Several good responses:

For me teasing my clit without cumming makes me desperate for anal and I cum harder from anal with some clit stimulation.

Just one more way to enjoy your partner and your body. Exploring your limits and finding out how many ways you’re body experiencing bliss is just an amazing journey. Teasing the pain/pleasure thread hold open so many great memories.

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It’s always a sad day when one of our anal only challenge months ends, because they can tend to be a whirlwind of fun activity as everyone gets involved and builds off each other’s enthusiasm for sexual exploration and the anal only lifestyle to all support and encourage each other to go anal only together, but it’s also a time for celebration for all those who made it through a month of anal only and came out the other side no doubt improved in various ways.

If you’ve stayed anal only all month and found yourself really enjoying it and not especially missing vaginal sex, don’t let this be the end. Keep the streak going, see how far you make it, or even just commit to long term anal only if you feel that’s what you now want. If a month of anal only feels great, think of how amazing two or three months, six months, or a year and beyond will feel! It just keeps getting better.

If you are just discovering this now, or haven’t have a chance to try it yet, it’s not too late to get started! You can start your own month-long anal only challenge at any time!

Don’t forget to check in with us now that the month is over and let us know how your Anal Only April went, what your experiences were, what you learned, and whether you plan on continuing with long-term anal only going forward!

A common concern by those getting started with anal sex is that it’s going to hurt. Whether you’ve had a bad experience before, have heard from friends about bad experiences they had, or used to enjoy anal but are now having trouble with pain, this advice will help you enjoy the pure pleasure of anal that you deserve—without pain!

Anal Should Never Hurt

First, let’s get this point across: if anal hurts, that’s a good sign that something is wrong. You aren’t warmed up enough. You aren’t using enough lube. You’re going too fast, too deep, or too big too soon. You should stop and reassess things immediately to avoid injuring yourself.

Start Small and Slow

If you’re new to anal, you can’t just start having anal sex, you need to start small and work your way up over time to the size, depth and speed of anal sex. For more information on this process, see our guide to anal training.

But even if you’re more experienced with it, and you’ve had anal sex quite a lot, you might find it hurting if it’s been a little while when you go to put it in. If you don’t take the time to warm up first and jump right to a bigger toy or a penis, and it hurts, that can tell you that you need to slow down and do a little more preparation first. Do some rimming and fingering. Put in a small butt plug and play another way for a bit. Use a smaller dildo. Once you feel relaxed and comfortable and things are not hurting, try it again.

Even someone who is very experienced can benefit from doing this if it’s been a while and they’ve tightened back up. It will take less time to get back into things, but you may want to take a day or two to transition back up to the sizes you’re used to if you haven’t been playing for a few weeks. It can be easy to think that you’ve mastered everything and don’t need any small toys anymore, and when you try to go to put in your favorite toy after some time off, you can be surprised by a sudden sharp pain. Take the relatively small amount of time to do some gentle anal massage and warmup to relax and open up first and avoid that setback.

Take the Time to Heal

If you end up with a small tear, bleeding, or other injury in association with pain, make sure you take a few days to heal before trying again. Anal injuries can heal well, but if you continue to irritate them they can take much longer to heal or even become chronic. Larger injuries can develop into scar tissue that remains painful or tears more easily in the future, so it’s really important to be patient with your body and take the steps needed to not injure yourself.

Perform proper after care, use aloe vera or lotion around your anus to help it heal, and your ass will repay you with a lifetime of pleasure and wonderful anal sex.

Although I’m (F/28) not 100% sure on going fully anal only, I’ve been doing some research whilst anal training myself during isolation.

I suggested to my bf we try an anal only month and he said yes and I just want to say thank you to this subreddit for the information and personal experiences and stories that have helped motivate me more and for the recommendations.

I’ve done anal plenty of times before so I’m not a total rookie with it but I’m definitely keen to really dive into it (at my own pace… obviously).

Have definitely been enjoying it so far and even denying clit stimulation to help me achieve anal orgasms, Im also eagerly anticipating some new toys.

So, thank you!

A Reddit user responds:

Glad to see you taking steps to going anal only. You won’t regret this. Make sure to update us when the month is over and tell us how it went. I know you’ll be thankful you tried it

To which the original poster replies:

I shall update you in a couple of months, I think I’ve become obsessed. Not stopped thinking about it for days and I’ve sat with two different plugs in for the best part of the day and used a dildo for the first time. I think it will go well…

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Christy: What is your opinion on ‘painal?’ I am currently single, and because of social isolation orders and the virus I have been masturbating anal only for five weeks, to kick off my anal only journey. I have found the only way I can orgasm from anal is if I have a plug or toy in that is (probably) too big for me, if it leaves me sobbing from pain and burns the entire time I have it in/play with myself. Is this unsafe? I’m making sure to use plenty of lube and would stop if I thought I had injured myself.

Ultimately, you have to listen to your body and determine whether you think it’s causing harm or not. It’s a little bit of a gray area, but I believe there is a fine line you can ride where there is intentional pain but it’s not causing injury. This would be the same sort of stretching that might cause pain when doing yoga or warmup stretches before exercise—it can be painful, but isn’t harmful.

If there’s more of a sharp pain, or it leaves you particularly sore for days, or feeling raw afterwards, or if you encounter bleeding, then you’re probably going too far with it, but otherwise you’re probably fine. What you want to avoid are tears/fissures and muscle injuries.

For those who are anal receivers, all the time spent at home during the COVID-19 pandemic can be a great opportunity to train your ass and practice going anal only, even if on your own, or prepare yourself for a future anal only lifestyle by getting your ass ready for it through daily practice.

Set up a daily routine of anal fingering, masturbating with dildos, and butt plug wear, gradually going larger and for longer amounts of time as you get more experienced. If you need your clit to relax enough for it, use it, otherwise try going without it and seeing if you can learn to orgasm just from anal.

Be sure to check out our guide to anal sex and the anal only lifestyle for detailed advice on how to train for anal sex and adopt the anal only lifestyle.

And as always, share with us how your training goes, or any questions you might have!

Is there any tips on how to cum from anal only? Or is it different for everyone?

Just relax and enjoy it. Once you get past the initial stretch and mild pain (if you’ve learned to relax) it will automatically turn into pleasure. If you mentally want it and your not fighting it then you’ll feel it hit all the right spots deep inside you. From that you’ll release and should have a very strong orgasm. It’s part mental part physical. You have to want it and learn to relax and accept it in. Once you’re use to it you shouldn’t have any trouble. I hope you enjoy and have fun.

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