Anonymous: I’m a little longer than average and while my girl doesn’t like deep vaginal but goes crazy for deep anal. She’ll be almost bent double knees up to her boobs so I can get it all up there. No complaints from me as it feels great. But I’ve read the colon bends and I worry that I may damage something some time. Doesn’t seem to concern her but I’d like to be sure its okay. Thanks.

If it doesn’t hurt her and doesn’t cause bleeding, it’s perfectly okay. You want to avoid painfully forcing something past sharp bends in the colon, but with warmup and practice it’s perfectly fine and safe to pass those bends—they straighten out temporarily in the right positions and with practice. Everyone’s a bit different, too, unless either of you notice when you pop through the bend and can really feel that happen, it’s likely she just has a longer rectum and can fit you fully inside without passing beyond into the colon.

Enjoy! Sounds like you both have a great time with it and are lucky to have a partner who enjoys the same.

Anonymous: I’ve been married for a year and my wife (who previously has hinted she would into trying anal) told me she doesn’t like the idea. What do you recommend for “beginners”?

Talk to her more about it. Ask her what she doesn’t like about the idea and what her concerns are about doing it. Try to have an open discussion, and don’t push her, just have a conversation together. Most people’s concerns are either overblown or the issues they’re worried about can be easily avoided with a little effort.

Advice beyond that depends on her concerns. But people just starting with anal, especially if they aren’t that into the idea yet, should usually not even consider anal intercourse at that stage, and should start with rimming, external massage, and light penetration with a finger or small toys in combination with clit stimulation.

If you do have a conversation, feel free to follow up with more specifics.

Anonymous: I’ve been told that the only reason some women say they don’t like anal is they quit after only about 30s. I hear that after just a minute or two it starts to feel really nice. I can’t believe people miss out by not even giving it a fair chance. Is this true?

While I can’t say whether those specifics are correct for everyone—that they’re giving up in under a minute and that it will always start feeling good after a couple minutes—it’s true that a lot of the people who have tried anal once or twice and then decided it sucks and isn’t something they like didn’t do it properly and didn’t give it a fair chance, and if they were to revisit it with an experienced partner or with an understanding of what’s involved in the process of enjoying anal, most people would very much enjoy it.

I’m going to split up this message so I can respond more directly inline to its different parts.

Hello once again. Thanks for answering my post from 17th April about my experiences during and after my second pregnancy.

At this point it’s kind of hard to say what it is I really want. I feel more than a little confused. I think my mood is lower than after my first child. Here’s the thing though: When I was pregnant I loved all the anal, it felt very good and it felt like the right thing to do at the time. I’m a big believer in listening to what your body tells you. And I really had a verging on unhealthy craving for it for the duration.

I’m biased in favor of the anal only lifestyle, naturally, so my responses and encouragement are going to share that bias, but I’m also biased in favor of mutual consent and desire to take part in this lifestyle.

Because you’re still adjusting post-pregnancy, and because both you and your husband loved being anal only until recently, I would suggest continuing to maintain your anal only routine together when you feel up to it even if your arousal hasn’t fully recovered yet, and seeing where things go from there. Your arousal will return, and I’m pretty confident your love for anal will as well. It’s a little bit of the “fake it until you make it” approach, but that can actually work quite well. And along the way, you’ll probably figure out whether continuing being anal only is what you really want or if you really do want to go back to vaginal.

Although I was getting gradually larger I also never felt sexier (which my husband commented on) while now the reverse is true. It all feels like a very unfair piece of bad timing that my husband is very affectionate, turned on and making very frequent advances while I’m not feeling the same. I admit to feeling some guilt over this. Is that bad?

It’s not at all uncommon or unusual in this situation. Be sure to keep talking with him about it and explain how you feel, and listen to him as well. Make sure to try not to make him feel bad for being affectionate and aroused while you aren’t. Try to work through it together and come up with compromises that work while you continue to adjust post-pregnancy. Try to identify what does make you feel more aroused and when and take advantage of that when you can. Otherwise, just keep moving forward and be patient.

I’m not sure if it’s just the lack of interest in any sex rather than not wanting anal. My husband is being very gentle and considerate and even more enthusiastic with foreplay etc than ever before.

Any tips for getting my drive back? And if we are making love 3 or 4 times a week is that too much anal to have safely?

For getting your sex drive back, just be patient and keep sticking with it, and you’ll get there eventually. It just takes time in most cases. Your body goes through a lot during a pregnancy, and everything doesn’t just go back to “normal” immediately after. It’s a process.

As for having anal sex 3 to 4 times a week, there’s nothing at all wrong with that so long as that’s a frequency that isn’t uncomfortable or painful for you. Listen to your body, and if it makes you sore or painful after or during to do it that often, try it a little less often, but if it’s working well for you, keep it up. Having frequent anal sex doesn’t have negative long term effects if you’re doing it safely and it doesn’t hurt and isn’t injuring you. Maintaining a frequent routine like that is in fact quite positive both for having anal sex and for your anal health in general.

I’m not sure if much of what I said was very helpful, but I hope it helped at least a little. Good luck!

It is actually a hot and woderfull and it could once highest sexual pleasure only if you do it right. Im not anal only but most of the sex i have only ass. I cum by viginal but only squirt by anal. I cant say when i first had my anal sex but since then it was the number one sexual pleasure for and the longest term my anal only was 4 months until some one said that if i do not use my pussy my clitories nerves may stop working something like that dont know even that is true or lies. Do you know anything about that because i was looking forward to go anal only since i was 18 but now this thing makes me concern.

That’s a complete myth that not using your vagina or clitoris will make their nerves stop working. You may find after a long time of being anal only that you don’t enjoy vaginal or clitoral stimulation as much because anal pleasure is superior for you, but it won’t change anything physically, it’s just a change of preferences, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. After all, if you prefer anal and it’s all you end up wanting, then you wouldn’t want vaginal anyway.

Don’t let misinformation like that get in the way of your anal only dreams. Go for it, dive back in, go back to being anal only, and work towards breaking your 4 month record from before!

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have experimented with anal for quite a bit now; but she won’t take the plunge and actually have anal sex with me because she’s worried it’ll cause problems if it turns into a regular thing. Do you have any information or sources I can use to show her that she doesn’t need to worry about doing any damage no matter how frequently we do it as long as I warm her up correctly?

I don’t have any studies to cite (perhaps someone can respond with something) but I can cite personal experience as well as the experiences of many other people who have been having anal sex regularly for a decade or more, including some who have been in anal only relationships for extended periods of time (two decades in some cases), and have encountered no problems.

Anal sex done properly with appropriate lubrication and warmup, where it feels good and doesn’t hurt (and if it does start to hurt, you pause and adjust as needed rather than just pushing through the pain) simply doesn’t cause an issue. It’s like exercise for the anal muscles, and helps increase their flexibility, elasticity and strength. It doesn’t lead to incontinence or prolapse or whatever other myths people have about it. Even for people who do big toy play/insertions, long-term issues are rare to nonexistent.

slutty-sissy-slave-jessica: Is it save to wear plugs with thin necks (like jewel plugs) full time 24/7?

Yes, absolutely. The only concern with long term plugging is that the base is wide enough that it doesn’t slip inside unintentionally and that it stays comfortable. If it starts to hurt, you might take a short break or figure out what’s causing the pain/discomfort, but otherwise feel free to plug as often as you like. It won’t hurt you as long as you listen to your body and adjust as needed.

Bigger plugs with thicker necks are fine to wear long-term as well as long as they’re comfortable. It won’t cause issues, even long-term. It will help relax and “stretch” your ass, but anal muscles default to a closed state, so even if it can stay open at a very large size with a plug, it will close back in its resting state when not plugged.

odieballer: Do you have problems with hemorrhoids and stuff and painful shitting after wrecking your asshole the way you do? I always wonder about that with you or top stars like HKJ and proxy and others

bb-puta: no, i personally have never had hemorrhoids, painful bathrooms or any other problems with my ass!

The idea that anal, even larger/rougher anal sex and play, causes injury or hemorrhoids is more or less a myth. It can if you don’t listen to your body and take care of it, but if you use lube, warm up, and don’t do anything that hurts, you can do all sorts of things like double anal fisting and be totally fine. Gradual progress and increase of size is healthy and safe. Forcing things in and ignoring the pain is what gets someone injured. This applies whether you’re just getting started with anal or are an expert doing expert-level play.

Anonymous: Reality check! As a woman, let me put some things straight. No sane woman on this earth actually enjoys anal. Some simply learn to ignore or like the pain. Anal is mentally fun, physically it isn’t. Because that orifice was just not made for penetration. Even gay men only enjoy it because they sniff poppers (muscle relaxant) and because they have a prostate. Women are built differently and need at least internal stimulation of the clitoris to cum, which is impossible through the anus. Face it.

Yeah… not a single thing you said is true. I’m sorry you’ve had such bad experiences with it. I hope someday you’ll have an opportunity to experience what anal can really be.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following responses.

fwcouple98023: Internal clitoral stimulation? Pretty sure the clit is external and g spot is internal. If you know what you’re doing, you can hot g spot while doing anal. Just have to be good at fucking!! @hornywife84

hungandhands10me: I love that a woman told another woman that she’s lying to herself about something feeling good

lilobinx: What a fucking idiot.? She clearly knows absolutely nothing about this subject or the female anatomy/erogenous zones. Sounds like she’s desperately trying to convince herself all of this. What Anal-Loving man hurt her????

1.) Anal is fucking amazing.

2.) Not all women cum from clitoral stimulation.

3.) Not all women cum from penetration .

4.) Some women have extra sensitive anus’ which is why those types of women love anal. (??‍♀️)

5.) Shut the fuck up, you dense fruitcake…?

iridescent-sweethart: Anal is so great?

pinklioness7: Seriously? She just decided she spoke for a large chuck of the population based on her own experiences? Even going so far as to say gay meet have to sniff something to enjoy it? Guess what sweetie, you are wrong. Period. Many of us women enjoy anal, and I’ve never used any substance (besides lube) to enjoy it. Get your facts straight or maybe try voicing your statement as a personal one instead of speaking for people you know nothing about.

awesomegromm: Well count me as one of those people who only does anal for the pleasure aspect, has never used poppers, and actually knows what he’s doing when he fucks a lady in the ass.

Anonymous: I’m very excited to do anal for the first time and I’m going to do it with a friend, but I’m afraid something will go wrong if you understand what I mean. Do you have any advice for me?

You could mean several things, so I’ll answer generally.

If you’re afraid of a mess, make sure to go the bathroom in advance. If you’re really concerned, use a douche/enema bulb to squirt just a small squeeze of warm water into your rectum and push it out, repeating a few times. That should be all you need to do. You can check by inserting or masturbating with a dildo beforehand to see if your rectum is clean.

If you’re afraid it’s going to hurt, you should practice/train with fingers and toys before trying it with a partner, so you know what to expect and prepare your ass for penetration without pain. Some people can dive straight into anal sex without preparation, but most people need to practice a little first. Try it on your own time with a lubricated finger at first, and work up to a dildo.

When trying it with a partner for the first time, make sure to lubricate both his penis and your anus, and do it in such a way that you can control the initial penetration speed, angle and depth. If it starts to hurt, just pause at that position or back off slightly until any pain fades, then continue until he’s all the way in. If you need to pause a moment again to adjust to having him inside you, do so, then start slowly moving and let him take more control as you get comfortable with it. Don’t hesitate to pause again if something starts to hurt.

Combining anal penetration with clitoral stimulation can help a lot when you’re first starting out, both to relax you and to help start interpreting anal penetration as something pleasurable. It’s not necessary for everyone, but if you have difficulty with anal, give it a try.

Good luck and enjoy!