painlove1018: Playing with my clit is so stimulating. But when I’m done I’m over it. I have done anal masturbation and the climax has lasted longer then me actually fucking someone. I wanna go longer fingering and eventually fisting my ass. My fear is my ass losing its tightness. Just thinking bout anal masturbation has my clit throbbing. What do I do?

That’s something a lot of women discover, that even though clit stimulation and orgasms feel good, the abrupt end of desire when done can ultimately make one want to find an alternative. This is one of the primary reasons I advocate clit denial for anal only women, because anal stimulation and anal orgasms can provide a great deal of pleasure on their own, without the same impact to arousal.

The idea of your ass getting loose from anal sex/play is more or less a myth. Using your ass stretches and trains the muscles, which increase their elasticity and can ultimately make penetration easier over time, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t remain tight. Even after a session of fisting, you would find yourself tightening back up before long. People who have been having anal sex or engaging in anal fisting for decades report no long-term issues, and couples who have been anal only for similarly long periods report the same, with no noticeable loss of tightness. Just listen to your body and don’t go too fast at a pace that hurts and results in injuring yourself, and you’ll be fine.

By all means, go ahead and enjoy yourself. Masturbate anally only and ignore your clit and you’ll be rewarded with far greater pleasure and arousal long-term.

Anonymous: Why in this your misoginy school only women have to give up her core of womanhood that is her clit, the ultimate sex organ of nature, but men can keep using their penis?!! Why the restriction in genitalia is just to women?!! What a fucking sick idea of yours.. My God.

analonlyschool: Thank you for your message. In your hurry to direct your outrage towards me, you may have failed to notice that within the fictional scenario of this blog, the Anal Only School is a learning establishment that women choose to enroll in and can leave at any time if they find that it is not for them. A complete focus on anal sex is the advertised and stated intent of the Anal Only School, so everyone involved knows what they’re getting themselves into.

As for the reason why clitoral denial is encouraged within the Anal Only School: because there is greater pleasure for women to be had without direct clitoral stimulation, an increase in arousal, and other sexual benefits. Anal only orgasms, which stimulate among other things, the internal parts of the clitoris that surround the rectum, can be more intense and pleasurable without the negative side effects of clitoral orgasms that lead to post-orgasm mood changes and loss of arousal.

Why would you deny women greater pleasure by insisting on clitoral stimulation above all else?

whyuaskinme: I love anal sex… but I have 2 problems. It’s difficult for me to relax enough to keep going for very long, my fault not his. I want him to cum in me more often, I think it’s only been twice unfortunately. The other is more of a concern actually…. I’m worried about getting too stretched out for obvious reasons. Any help?

Practice makes perfect for learning to relax and stay relaxed for anal sex. Start masturbating anally more regularly, and wear a butt plug before having sex.

As for your concern about getting “stretched out”, that just doesn’t really happen. Think of anal stretching as more of a muscle stretch like before exercise, it warms you up, increases your flexibility, and makes you less likely to injure yourself. It doesn’t make your muscles weak or “loose”. Your natural resting state will still be tight. Even people who engage in more extreme play with huge toys or fisting on a regular basis are still tight again if they stop playing for a while. So don’t worry about that at all, enjoy training your ass and having anal sex as much as you like!

In fact, the only real effect of doing it more often will be that it will be easier to relax and able to enjoy sex much more.

Update December 2018: While this still hasn’t been written in book form at this time, we do have a new section on this blog that somewhat serves this purpose in an early form. Visit the Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page.

I want to write a book about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. At this point, this is nothing more than idea, but it’s been at the back of my mind for a while and I want to bring it to the front and start doing some work on the idea. It would be both a guidebook to anal sex in general and to becoming and staying anal only, as well as an overview of the concept of anal only and why people should try it and what its advantages are.

Is this something people would be interested in if it existed? What sort of things would you like to see included in the book? I’m seeking any and all suggestions at this stage!

toxic-puddin50: Hi, female,25. So I’ve always enjoyed anal, like most people who’ve asked you questions, i find it feels better than vaginal. However, I worry about doing it TOO MUCH. As amazing as it is I don’t want to destroy my anus. Can you recomend any technique that might work other than moderation?? Thanks♡♡

As long as you take care of yourself, don’t ignore pain or minor injuries/bleeding and have them grow into something bigger as a result, and pace yourself and take breaks as needed if it starts hurting or getting unpleasantly sore, you can’t have too much anal, and it won’t cause harm to you.

The anus is very tough, and can handle daily sex. Muscles are strengthened through proper use, not weakened. Incontinence/prolapse and other scary sounding things as a result of anal sex are a myth. Enjoy it all you like!

Anonymous: Weird question. I started doing anal with my bf and I love it. Is it unusual to have an intense orgasm while being done in the butt? I have amazing orgasms!

Not at all! Most people experience more intense orgasms from anal. Some need to combine clitoral stimulation with anal, others can just cum straight from anal without their clit.

Have fun, and keep enjoying anal!

Anonymous: Is it weird for a girl to dislike vaginal stimulation entirely? My girlfriend only wants me to pay attention to her ass during sex, and she’s even told me that she’s always exclusively played with her butt when she masturbates. I was a bit shocked at first, since she’s a very prim and proper kind of girl, but now I’m really starting to prefer anal as well. Should I be worried at all?

Worried about what? There’s absolutely nothing to be worried about. Everybody has different physical and experiential pleasure centers and triggers, and yes, some women dislike vaginal stimulation or even experience discomfort and pain from it, instead preferring anal even for masturbation. It’s more common than you might think, in fact, for some girls to start masturbating and/or having sex anally and then staying that way (or wanting to) because vaginal doesn’t feel as good to them.

Enjoy it together and enjoy each other. Like you said, you’re starting to prefer anal now as well. So keep doing what you both prefer. Happy buttfucking!

Anonymous: How can I make anal less painful?

Anal shouldn’t be painful at all. If it hurts, you probably aren’t ready to have anal sex yet and should focus more on anal masturbation/training before resuming anal sex.

Experiment with how many fingers or what size toys you can fit in your ass without it hurting. Make sure you use lube. Start at the small end and work up in size gradually after warming up and getting used to each size. If it hurts when you go up in size or add a finger, go back down in size again for a while and try again.

After you can easily and regularly fit 3 or more fingers in your ass, get yourself a nice butt plug about 1.5″ at the widest and start wearing it when you masturbate, and for half an hour or more before you have sex.

When you’ve been anally masturbating for a while and feel ready to try having anal sex again, wear the plug for a while first, then when you do the initial penetration with your partner, take control at first of how deep and fast to take him. If it starts to hurt, pause a moment. Push out as if going to the bathroom to help relax and open up. Resume. Repeat as necessary. As you can take him in all the way and start speeding up, he can start moving as well or taking control, but make sure he will pause for you if you tell him it’s starting to hurt.

Keep practicing, keep wearing a plug, always masturbate with something in your ass, and it will keep getting easier and easier to enjoy anal with no pain at all.

Anonymous: I love the blog. My wife and I have a great sex life. Over years we’ve worked up to anal sex and do it quite a lot. It is more passionate and the orgasms are more intense for both of us. However, my wife is concerned about doing it too often. She thinks it may make her incontinent. Is there real cause for concern? For the record we don’t do anything extreme, we always start slow and use lots of lube.

No, there is absolutely no cause for concern. You can have anal sex every single day for the rest of your life and not have a single issue so long as you follow safe practices and don’t cause (and then exacerbate) injuries. The anus and rectum are really strong, tough parts of the human body. If there’s pain or blood, you should always stop and let it rest or recover before continuing, so as not to make a (almost always very minor) injury something more that will take longer to heal, but just having anal sex with lube and proper warmup should not cause injury. If it doesn’t hurt regularly beyond standard soreness that can come from any sort of sex, you’re fine. Having it more often in fact makes it a lot easier to have without pain or injury.

The anal sphincter is a muscle, and using/exercising muscles makes them stronger, not weaker. Incontinence from anal sex is a complete and utter myth. The natural resting state of the anus is closed, and it relaxes and loosens when “flexed”. Increased use, practice and training of the anal sphincter can expand the range and size it can open up to to accommodate more, but it will still close up nice and tight when it returns to its relaxed state.

Anonymous: How do you reconcile anal only with the threat of poo?

Don’t have sex when you need to poop.