Anonymous: I hate your blog so much! I wish you would take it down. You’re making it so hard for women who won’t do anal to date anymore, all the guys want anal more and more or anal only, and I could never do that. Why do you insist on anal only so much? It’s like we’re all going to have to go anal only now just to get a date.

I highly doubt I have the influence to affect your dating life. Anal only may be growing in popularity over just a few years ago, but it’s still a fairly niche practice. Far more likely is the general cultural acceptance of anal leading to guys being more assertive for their desire or need to have anal. Anal is becoming like oral in the not-to-distant past—no longer a niche, something many people are expecting as a normal part of a relationship.

Just as these guys you’re encountering seem to be standing up for their need for anal, you can stand up for your disinterest in it. I guarantee there are guys out there who only want vaginal as well.

I’m not “insisting” on anal only, I’m advocating for it and encouraging people to try it, but beyond that everyone has the ability to decide whether they do or don’t want to have anything to do with it. As it turns out, a decent number of people like the idea.

That said, why not try anal? Try it on your own time, get familiar with it, masturbate with something in your ass. You’ll probably enjoy it. There’s a reason it’s getting so popular, and it’s not a one-sided thing just because guys want it. It feels really good for women when done correctly, and can make you orgasm better than vaginal/clitoral. It’s definitely worth experimenting with for your own sake, at your own pace.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following responses.

420spacequeen: I am a strong independent woman and fuck my ass on a regular basis. I love it!! So many nerve endings. Use a plug while masturbating your clit. Go bigger and bigger each size plug. You’ll soon be begging to be fucked in the ass non-stop.

wrexless: Masturbate with a butt plug in, or have your partner use a toy on you while you have a finger or plug (or anything really) in your butt. That’s how my wife got into it.

Anonymous: How to ask a girl if she wants to do anal? And how to prepare it? Is it messy at the first time? I really want to do anal.

Use your words? “Hey, do you want to try anal? I think it could be a lot of fun and it can feel really good if you do it right.” Reassure her that you’ll go at her pace, let her be in control, and put the focus on her pleasure. You’re going to enjoy how it feels no matter what, so prioritize her enjoyment of anal stimulation and she’ll want to keep doing it regularly. Read up on anal training and preparation together. Start small and slow. Always use lube. Don’t go for anal sex right away, use your fingers or some toys for a while and get her into how it feels before slowly working up in size. If she’s into the idea, encourage her to play with her ass on her own whenever she masturbates.

It can be messy if you don’t prepare or know your digestive system well. She should go to the bathroom before trying, and if very concerned about cleanliness, might consider using an anal douche to flush out the rectum before anal play and sex. With a balanced diet containing a good amount of fiber, the rectum is generally quite clean on its own except right before you need to the bathroom. Experimentation and experience will help make this easier to predict.

Anonymous: You are a man, right? So how do you know anal is all that good? Your ass has been fucked any time? Do you like being fucked?

I enjoy anal play as well, yes, but that’s not essential to knowing that women can love anal. Seeing the pleasure and orgasms women get from anal is enough for that, and having them beg for more and to never use their pussy or clit again.

Anonymous: Hi, may I ask, does anal feel as pleasurable for the woman as vaginal? Can she still have an orgasm as great? Thank you!!

Everybody is different, and there are always outliers, but it’s generally agreed by many who enjoy anal that anal orgasms are the most pleasurable there are. Not everyone is able to easily have pure anal orgasms (though many seem able to learn to achieve them over time and with practice), but clit + anal orgasms are still usually more intense and pleasurable than clit or clit + vaginal.

deepandlovely1: Anal penetration doesn’t have to hurt.

If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.

If you enjoy the hurt, congratulations. Most people don’t. Stop pressuring both men and women into suffering anal.

Anonymous: Hi, my name is Lucy and i am 19 years old, my boyfriend has been pushing me for a while to try anal sex the to become anal sex only after sometime, and I always turn him down because I have a fear of having, pain and diseases from anal, and have a lose butthole. he is kinda wiled and rough so if i said yes for one thing he will keep pushing until he gets everything. i dont want to lose him and i wanna do the right thing, please advise me.

First, he shouldn’t push you to do things you don’t want to do and if you don’t want it, you should make that clear to him and that you expect him to request your wishes.

At the same time, your fears about anal are based largely on misconceptions. Done correctly and with the proper training and warmup first, anal will not hurt. Read the other posts here and elsewhere about anal training/warmup and start practicing with fingers and smaller toys well before trying to have anal sex the first time, and also of course always use lube.

Disease/injury is also generally not a concern from anal sex, again if you practice it safely and work to avoid pain—pain is a sign of injury, and so it should be avoided rather than ignoring it. And it can be avoided.

Getting loose or gaping open all the time is also a myth and something that just doesn’t happen. Instead, with practice and training your anal muscles become more flexible and can expand more easily within a wider range, and immediately after sex or play or plug wear you would notice being looser, but the resting state returns to being tight again quite naturally. Over time you can also actually strengthen the muscles (using them exercises them, as with all muscles) as well as gain more conscious control over how loose or tight you want to be at any given moment—relaxing loosening up at will to help with penetration for sex, etc.

If anal interests you and you’d like to try it, then I’d suggest doing so—on your terms. Start playing and practicing, fingering your ass while you masturbate, working up to two and then three fingers as you get comfortable with the first, then a dildo or a butt plug, and get comfortable and familiar with it before trying to have sex with your boyfriend.

Anonymous: I really like to watch prolapse porn, for me is such a turn on to see a girl like Proxy Page having her asshole hanging out after being fisted. I just would like to know how this happens. It’s because having regular anal too often, or it’s because the regular insertion of big toys. I would like to do this with a girl someday, but also I wouldn’t like to hurt somebody.

There are a few different things which people refer to as anal prolapse, but they’re kind of different. The medical condition of anal prolapse is generally involuntary and problematic, and it also isn’t known to be caused by anal sex—it’s more of a preexisting condition or something one might be already prone to. It’s quite rare.

In porn, what is often referred to as prolapse or rosebudding is something that is done a lot more deliberately, and occurs as the result of the anus being significantly loosened and relaxed in the short term through the use of large toys, fists, double/triple anal, etc., and then pushing out hard as if straining when going to the bathroom in order to force part of the rectum into view in the gape.

The former is generally quite a bad and unwanted thing, but the latter isn’t generally an issue or something that occurs outside of deliberately trying to do it after or during a long anal session.

Anonymous: I know you have read this thousand times. Just for the record: I love anal. But how do you explain fucking a hole that is supposed to be use for eject faeces? Isn’t the pussy the anatomic place to fuck? The anus is just not designed to be fucked.

What’s there to explain? Evolution cares about reproduction when it comes to sex, and yes, you’re right, for reproductive sex, vaginas are where it’s at. But the vast, vast, vast majority of human sexual activity is non-reproductive. And while the anus may not primarily exist at an evolutionary level for sexual purposes, the reality is that it—just like the mouth—works really well for sex, and can provide and receive a lot of pleasure, more than vaginas in many cases. This may not have been by “design” or “intent” (never mind the fact that design and intent have nothing to do with it) but it is the reality.

Anal sex is just better for a lot of people. Yes, it can take some more practice and preparation, but the payoff is worth it. It might not be “natural”, but humans have a long tradition of figuring out new and better uses for existing things.

ebrock1972: Have you or would you do a double or more anal?

ditzystella: Omg! Thanks for the question!!??

I am going to do an about me page today answering a lot of this, but I am more than happy to tell you that no I have never done it YES I would do double, but probably not more than double because I like how small I am and if I take three I’m worried that I won’t be able to go back down to size…

Maybe this is something I should ask @analsexonly … if i have a gangbang of three big cocks in my ass, am I going to go back down to a normal size ever again?

??????
Stella, the anal only bimbo slut next door ?

You aren’t going to stay loose all the time after double or triple anal, no. Instead, over time your upper limit will increase and you’ll be able to stretch open more easily to accommodate such a size, but still tightening up again when not in use. Buttholes just don’t really get permanently loose or gaping. You can enjoy two or three cocks one day and just one another day. Especially as you train and strengthen your anal muscles, that also gives you a lot more control to both relax and loosen and tighten.

littlelovelylola: Hi! When did you become anal only? Do you fear health consequences? Very curious about trying this if I ever find a daddy…

ditzystella: Hi! I’ve only been 100% anal only for a little less than 2 weeks… no I haven’t feared any health consequences, just keeping very clean and having the best orgasms of my life with a denied, ignored pussy!

I am happy to answer more, here or privately ???

??

There really aren’t any health consequences from anal sex, even anal only where you’re having anal sex multiple times a week or even daily, so long as you follow a few precautions! Always use lube, make sure you warm up as needed by starting smaller and gradually working up in size, and backing off to a slower pace or a smaller size temporarily if something starts to hurt, as well as taking a break for a day or two if you get too sore rather than just pushing through any pain. Pain usually means you’re either overdoing it or going too big too soon before you’re ready. But if you’ve got no pain and you’re loving it, it’s all good!