Anonymous: I understand that an ass gape is too exciting. But don’t you worry if your girlfriend gets a permanent ass gape that doesn’t let her retain the poop anymore?

There’s not really any such thing as a permanent ass gape, except in extremely rare cases of severe injury/damage. Assholes gape as part of a combination of increased muscle control (so the muscles are actually stronger than normal, and can be consciously controlled more precisely) and relaxation. Having sex or using toys can help to open up and relax them, then the gape can be held open more consciously. But once you stop using it and trying to hold it open, it’ll start tightening back up naturally. With practice and use, an ass can gape and open up for sex more easily, but that doesn’t mean it’s loose all the time, just that it can be controlled, relaxed and opened with less preparation. Incontinence from anal sex is a debunked myth.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

whyuaskinme: Thank you, I’ve actually been worried about that also. Maybe now I’ll be able to relax moreand just enjoy it!

Anonymous: How can i start anal training? Anal seems very painful ..

Anal should never hurt if done right. If it hurts, it means you aren’t prepared/warmed up enough for something that size or speed. Start small, with a lubricated finger while you masturbate. Try to orgasm with a finger in your ass. Keep doing it regularly. Try two fingers once you get comfortable with one. After you can fit a few fingers, get a butt plug. Wear it whenever masturbating, and try it while having sex or just around the house or sleeping or even more as you get more comfortable with it. Some go straight from using a plug to having anal sex, others add some dildo play into the mix first.

Anonymous: Did you know that God punishes sodomy?

If there is a supernatural being who created the universe, I have to think it would have more to be concerned about than whether some of its creations were sticking their dicks into buttholes.

I’m far more concerned about consent and mutual enjoyment than what others think about my sex life, including alleged gods.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following responses.

ofbeastsandsophisticates: I love when people try to tell you what God thinks, especially people who don’t know the true history of their own faith. It is, or at least can be, quite comical. 

my-sub-conscience: ‘Thou shall not fucking judge thy neighbor!’ And I’m pretty sure that we’ll all be going to Hell then, having amazing incredible anal sex ❤️

kinktothebrink: Answer the question. Do you know?! Don’t give us such a cliffhanger.

Anonymous: How does it make you feel knowing that a lot of girls still won’t do anal?

Sad that they’re missing out on something amazing. That’s partly why I do my part to correct the common negative portrayal of it as something degrading, painful, and done only for men to enjoy.

The fact is, there are a lot of women who do love anal and get a lot of pleasure from it. In my experience, most who won’t do it have either had bad experiences with it in the past thanks to partners who didn’t know what they were doing, or heard stories of such. So education and widely available information on how to enjoy it and try it at their own pace can be very beneficial to encourage more people to try it.

Anonymous: Hello! I’m a 23 yr old girl that knows that anal is fantastic since years ago. But, I still have some questions that hope you can answer: 1) Sometimes I want to have anal sex but my ass says NO; it doesn’t depend of the amount of lube and happens also when I’m hot as hell. Did this happened to you/some of your partners? Why this happen? What can I make for avoid it? 2) I’m very frightened about anal prolapse. What can I do for avoid this also? Thank you so much 🙂

Having difficulty with anal sex on occasion despite wanting very much to do it could be the result of a number of things. How often are you having anal sex or engaging in anal play? If a long enough period of time goes between, you may simply need more regular practice and more warmup before to help relax and prepare your anal muscles to fit a toy or your partner’s penis comfortably and without pain. I would suggest engaging in anal play more regularly when masturbating, as well as getting a butt plug or two to wear on occasion, especially in advance of having sex to help prepare. With more details about frequency and the particular issues you encounter, I might be able to offer more advice.

As for anal prolapse, this is really just not something to worry about for the vast majority of people. No link between anal sex and anal prolapse has been found, and it seems that the very rare cases of anal prolapse are actually the result of preexisting conditions. What is shown in porn semi-commonly is not actually the medical condition of anal prolapse, but a deliberate act where the performer pushes out with strengthened muscles while relaxing and loosening the anus itself. As long as you practice safe anal sex, anal prolapse simply shouldn’t be a concern.

When we met, my girlfriend (now my wife) was from a strict religious family.  She had never had sex of any sort and had just recently taken a virginity pledge at her church and wanted to remain a virgin until she was married.  We hit it off right away and in no time our hormonal urges were overwhelming.  Being young and so horny it was killing us to wait.  She masturbated me a lot.  Eventually she graduated to blowjobs.  Of course neither of these activities did anything to satisfy her desire for pleasure.  She or I would rub her clit while she was sucking my cock, but it just couldn’t get her off.

She’s actually the one that suggested anal sex.  This worked really well, as her Catholic upbringing didn’t allow for the use of birth control, including a condom.  We knew we needed to use lube and take it slow.  Our first time I used the only thing I could think of – Vaseline.  Doggy style just seemed like the easiest way to accomplish anal sex at the time, so that’s what we did.  We were both so horny, I blew my load on her ass just rubbing across her asshole.  She seemed really disappointed.  She knew that, as a teen, I would be ready again quickly though, so we just lay in bed rubbing each other until I was hard again.  This time, after just getting off, I was better able to control the urge to cum.  It must have taken us 10 minutes to slowly work my cock all the way into her ass, although it seemed like an eternity.  When we both realized my cock was buried all the way up her ass we just stayed like that for several minutes.  I could feel her ass tightening and relaxing around the base of my cock.  When she said she was ready I slowly began to work my cock back and forth in her ass.  Almost at once she started rubbing her clit like mad and pushing her ass back against me.  It was then that it happened, she let out a moan and I felt her ass pulse around my cock.  The thought that I had just brought her to her first orgasm and the fact that her ass was going wild on my cock brought me to orgasm.  It was the first time anyone had cum inside her.  We both collapsed forward on the bed, me on top of her, then rolled sideways with me spooning her.  My cock remained semi-hard in her ass as we lay there.  within 15 minutes we were at it again.  Again, she experienced an orgasm.

After this it was rare if we didn’t have anal sex at least once a day.  In the three years prior to our marriage, we never once had vaginal sex.  On our wedding night she couldn’t wait to try vaginal sex.  Although she was dripping wet, her reaction was almost immediate.  She said it felt really uncomfortable.  The look on her face made it clear she wasn’t enjoying it.  We continued this awkward exercise for several minutes, then she broke down crying.  She said she had wanted it to be special for our wedding night.  I told her it was alright and that we could try it again later.  As I moved my cock to her asshole, I felt it relax and willingly accept my cock as it had so many times before.  But this time it was different.  We were making anal love as husband and wife.  Within a few minutes her ass was pulsating in orgasmic bliss around my cock as I came deep inside her.  Then she was crying again.  She thought I would be disappointed our fist time making love as a married couple we had not been able to complete vaginal sex.  I assured her I thoroughly enjoyed anal sex and that it was alright.  I assured her we could try again later.  This seemed to calm her down.

For much of our first month of marriage the same scenario would repeat itself, including the crying  (talk about a wood killer).  Vaginal sex never became more enjoyable for either of us.  Eventually, during one of her crying fits, I told her I didn’t really care for the feeling of vaginal sex and I would prefer it if we just had anal sex.  She said she knew I was only saying that for her.  It took some convincing.  When she realized it was true she was overjoyed.  When she told me she had felt like a failure because she couldn’t please me with her vagina.  I told her I was only having vaginal sex for her because I thought it was what she wanted.  I told her I didn’t care if we ever had vaginal sex again and that she pleases me with her ass.  She immediately presented her ass for me and told me I needed to please her as well.

We’ve now been married nearly five years.  In the eight total years we’ve been together we’ve probably had anal sex several thousand times. Aside from the dozen or so times we tried vaginal sex the month after getting married, we’ve never had vaginal sex.  I’ve never cum in her vagina either.  Now we look back on her “virginity pledge” and have to laugh.  Since I’ve never cum in her vagina, I jokingly tell her she’s still a virgin.

I just wanted to thank you for educating people about the possibilities and tell you our story.  To any of your readers who are concerned about the long term effects of anal sex, we have continued to have anal sex almost every day for nearly eight years and she had had no issues whatsoever.

Anonymous: why do you even like anal? i’m a guy and know a dick shouldn’t go in an asshole, it’s really weird…

unknownsubgirl: Are you sure you’re a guy?

And are you even serious???????????????

intoitmaster: Got to be fucking kidding, it is best fuck hole for both. My subs cum much harder that way and frankly so do I.

kinghut: Dick should only go in her asshole.. No exception. Not only do they cum harder, they want sex way more often and activates their dark side. There simply is no substitute for good hard deep ass sex

Anonymous: I always thought that anal would really only be good for the guy so he can get off, and the girl would just be laying there. However, that myth has been busted for me! Did anal last night and I came soooo hard, it hurt but it felt SO GOOD. ?

the-art-of-oral: yassss, good to hear success stories 🙂

-Becca

Anonymous: Hey girl! What do you like about anal? I mean, what is the fantasy for you? Is it humiliation, the fact that “you don’t have pleasure” like with vagina, or what?

willowkitty: Hey there!

For me personally, I enjoy anal for the sensation. The stretching feeling, the full feeling, the pressure… It’s incredible pleasurable for me. Just thinking about it makes me squirm a bit.

From what you said, it sounds like you are implying that it’s not possible to feel pleasure from anal. That is not my experience at all, and I know I am not alone in that.

Anal is not for everybody, but it can be a very pleasurable experience when done properly. It should not be uncomfortable or painful, and if it is then you need to listen to your body and slow down or stop. Anal is not something you can rush in to. It requires a lot of time, patience, and lube; start small, and slowly work your way up. 🙂

Anonymous: So most sexy things have an un-sexy consequence… Has toying around with your butt to the extent which you have ever resulted in unfortunate -err- ‘waste’ issues?

willowkitty: There are two ways I can read this question, so I am going to address both to ensure I cover it all; “Have things gotten messy while you are playing?” and “Have you had any incontinence issues since you have been taking larger toys?”

Keep in mind that I am not a medical professional, so what I am about to tell you is what I have learned from reading articles online, my own experiences, and talking to experienced anal players.

Now, first thing you need to know is that your anal canal & lower colon (aka Rectum, and recto-sigmoid segment) do not store feces. Feces are stored higher up in your colon (higher up in your sigmoid colon to be exact), and move down towards your anal canal when you produce a bowel movement. It is very important to eat a healthy diet with enough fibre, as this will ensure that you are regular; if you are constipated or loose, then there will be issues.

Secondly, you can also take preventative measures if you desire. You can clean yourself out with an enema or an anal douche, though this is not necessary at all; a quick shower beforehand to wash around your anus, and maybe slip a finger in will work well (do not use soap, you will hurt the sensitive tissues & bacteria that needs to thrive there). The difference between the two is that with an enema there is generally more fluid and you are holding it in a for a while before you expel, and with a douche you are expelling right after you fill yourself up; douching is a good way to just give a quick rinse to your anal canal. If you are going to preform an enema or douche before anal, you need to be careful. You will want to do it a few hours before play, to allow your rectum to recover the bacteria that you flush out. There is a lot of bacteria in your rectum that is necessary, and if you flush too often you can actually hurt yourself and do permanent damage. Of course, if you are careful then you will be fine. Use sterile equipment, and after your are done ensure that you sterilize it again; you do not want to introduce too much foreign bacteria. There are different kinds out there as well: bulbs, and then more elaborate systems for deeper flushes. Most people use warm water (do NOT add soap as that will irritate you), but you can also use an enema solution. Do not use solutions meant for vaginal douching! I recommend buying something over the counter, but there are recipes for making it at home as well. You also need to do this very slowly and listen to your body. If you start to feel uncomfortable, or feel cramped up then your body is telling you that you have gone too far. If you have any sort of digestive issues, please go see your doctor before you do this. If you do flush often and notice a change in your digestive system then please go see your doctor.

It is not absolutely necessary to flush yourself beforehand though.As I said, if you are regular then you should know whether or not you need to go. If you have had a bowel movement within a few hours before play, then you should be good to go. I personally usually do not flush myself before I do my stretch training, and I have not had an issue at all. Once I start doing more depth training I will start playing around with enemas more. I am very committed to eating well, and I can pretty much predict when I am going to have a bowel movement now based on the time of day.

I also just want to say that even with preparation, and regular movements sometimes there might still be a small amounts of fecal matter; a speck or two perhaps. This is not the end of the world, and is perfectly normal. A lot of people worry about this, and feel shameful but it is not something to fret about. If that makes you uncomfortable, then perhaps anal sex is not for you. If you are having anal sex with someone, and they happen to react to such an incident I want to assure you that there is nothing wrong. Do not let that person’s reaction tarnish your view of anal sex. Sometimes these things will happen.

I do not think that this is an “un-sexy consequence” as that has far too much negativity surrounding it. It is just a natural process of the human body, and human bodies are sexy as fuck. 

To address the other way that the question can be read, have I had any issues with incontinence since taking large toys and stretching out my ass?

Short answer: No.

I have not had any issues at all. I can tell you that ever since I started training my anus to take larger toys, the muscles have become stronger. If you think about it, I am training myself to have better control of my anal sphincter; practice relaxing and opening up, and gripping around my toys. I have been very focused on this to perfect my gape abilities. My ass has never been this tight!

I hope that answered your question thoroughly. Feel free to ask for any clarifications if you need to 🙂

Again, I am not a medical professional so everything stated here is based on my own readings, my experience, and discussions with experienced anal players.