Anonymous: Hiii please answer um I need advice for after anal relaxation ? For the being sore after ? And is training every day safe and what’s the best line option please

If you’re sore after, the best bet is to take a break until you aren’t sore. Sometimes it might be hard to avoid being sore when you first start out, but the goal should be to avoid being overly sore at all (beyond the general pleasant post-sex soreness that can be normal). Make sure you’re warming up enough and using enough lube throughout to reduce the risk of soreness. If it hurts at any point during, you aren’t quite warmed up enough yet, or you aren’t trained enough yet.

Daily training is fine as long as you aren’t overly sore and it doesn’t hurt. If it does, take as long as a break you need in between until the soreness goes away. You want to fully heal any minor injuries that may occur before they develop into bigger injuries.

From this article at YourTango:

Dr. Hilda Hutcherson loves sex toys, believes the world is much too pornophobic, and thinks more women should give anal sex a try. In other words, she’s the gynecologist every guy wants his girlfriend to meet.

Among the useful points she makes:

Can all women orgasm from anal sex? 
Every woman has the ability to orgasm, physiologically, because the space between her vagina and rectum is so thin that, in the doggie position, the penis is going to press up against her g-spot. Some women find it’s the easiest way to stimulate their g-spot.

How does a guy get a girl to let him in the back door when “open sesame” doesn’t work?
Well, the thing I can say to her as a doctor is, it’s not unsafe. She’s not going to be wearing a diaper, she’s not going to have fecal incontinence, she’s not going to be soiling herself or passing gas all day.

Now that we finally have doctors recommending anal sex to women, maybe we can finally put some of the more ridiculous claims about the ‘harmful’ side of anal sex to rest.

Anonymous: Isn’t it true that anal all time damages a girls butt? And wouldn’t doing the same thing all the time get boring?

No, that is not true. With lube and warmup, anal is perfectly safe, even practiced daily for years. There are couples out there who have been having anal sex only, regularly, for 20+ years with zero problems. The anus is a muscle, and using it properly can actually help strengthen it and develop good muscle control and tone. Regular anal sex can therefore give the illusion of increased looseness, but in reality this is generally due to the ability to consciously relax more easily and open up at will for easier sex. Similarly, the idea that anal sex causes anal prolapse is a myth. In reality, some people are prone to developing an anal prolapse and studies have found that it’s likely to happen for those people whether they have anal sex or not. But it’s very uncommon. In general the sort of injuries you might hear about from anal result from bad practices—sex without proper warmup or lube, resulting in a painful experience and potential injuries. If anal hurts, you’re doing it wrong and are at risk of injury.

As for boring, no. Because it’s not the same thing all the time, there’s all sorts of variety possible with anal and oral. It’s just the exclusion of vaginal intercourse. To many, that exclusion is something exciting and a turn on, not a limitation—either because vaginal sex doesn’t interest them, or because the absence of it from their sex life is an appealing fetish.

sissysuperhero: Now and then I hear from people who cannot believe anyone could enjoy getting fucked in their ass. They are confident it’s meant to be a one-way street.

Let’s look at the evidence.

1. The average rectum is exactly the same size as the average cock, and that the prostate is right next to it (G spot for bio girls). Why is this?
2. Some people can cum from getting assfucked without touching their genitals. This includes men, women, and gurls like me. Why is this?
3. Many of us who cum from anal also find that when we do, our ass produces creamy discharge like a pussy. Again….why is this?

Those three things could not be true if assfucking were unnatural, could they? We seem to have EVOLVED to enjoy assfucking! (Or for you born-again types, we were created that way.) Who knows why, but we have. So enjoy!!

Meli

Anonymous: When my wife and I watch porn together, she gets incredibly excited as soon as some butt play comes into it… She wants to take me back there but every time I get more than 2 fingers up her she gets scared and stops… Any ideas how to calm her down and make it easier?

Talk with her about it. What specifically is she scared of? Is she scared it will hurt? (Does it start to hurt? If it does, then stopping or backing off to less fingers for a little while is the right move.) Is she scared it will be messy? Is she scared she’ll be injured or become loose/incontinent? These are all things that can be talked about and avoided (and becoming incontinent is a myth except in very rare or extreme cases).

Tell her that you share her interest in anal and that you’ll go at whatever pace she needs to in order to be comfortable and can feel confident that she can experience anal play and eventually anal sex painlessly and with pleasure. Don’t even put full anal sex on the table yet, just say you’d like to continue exploring anal play for now and work up in size gradually. Try to make anal play a regular part of sex. A finger or two during oral, rubbing externally during vaginal in certain positions, or even some fingering during vaginal. If she expresses interest in continuing to explore further, you might at some point get a few small toys to use as well.

Anonymous: I really want to do anal because I know my partner wants it so bad! I just don’t know if it’s safe?

As with any sexual act, or most things in life, anal sex can have some risks, but these can be mitigated by educating yourself and practicing safe anal. Always use lube, practice and train—alone, with your partner, or both—before attempting sex, warm up by starting small and working up in size during each session, and very importantly, don’t do anything that hurts! If it hurts, it means you either don’t have enough lube, aren’t warmed up enough, or just aren’t ready for that size yet. And it also means you could injure yourself if you continue, so stop when something hurts, wait for the pain to fade and either try again more slowly or drop back to a smaller size for a little while before trying again.

Anonymous: is bad to leave a plug inside my butt all day? (taking it out just for the obvious and lubing).

Not unless it hurts. If it hurts, you should take a break. Otherwise, you’re fine. It’s not going to cause any sort of permanent looseness or anything, but it could put pressure on nerves depending on how it’s shaped and what positions you’re sitting in, etc. Plenty of people do it without issue, though, so give it a try and see if it works for you. One plug might be uncomfortable all day while another might work just fine.

Anonymous: Thank you for the informative blog. My wife and I thoroughly enjoy Anal and she too has much better and more powerful orgasms this way. We are careful to warm up and use lube liberally. Two questions please: 1. We impose limits on this activity out of fear that her anus muscles will loosen over time obviously effecting her quality of life. Is this a rational concern? 2. Have you ever heard of shooting/cramping pains following anal intercourse?

I’m glad to hear you’re both enjoying anal sex.

1. Safe anal sex, with proper warmup and no pain, is not known to cause any long-term issues and is believed by many who have practiced it for decades to actually tone and strengthen anal muscles. Most stories of sphincter muscle tone loss as a result of anal are the result of injuries and damage, not safe and painless sex. Extreme anal play (fisting, very large toys) may be more likely to cause issues, but even that is not guaranteed to if you play safely and warm up. There are people who have been getting anally fisted for 20+ years and report zero issues with long term looseness. It is normal to be a little looser for a little while after, of course, but things go back to normal soon enough. It’s also possible when more anally experienced for it to seem like things are looser, due to increased muscle control and the ability to loosen/relax at will. I wouldn’t be at all concerned about it when there are couples who have been having exclusively anal sex 3 to 5 times a week for decades and report zero problems and wouldn’t do anything any differently.

2. This could be due to intestinal gas getting compressed during sex and causing cramping, or it could be the angle/depth and hitting certain spots. Hitting the bend into the sigmoid colon too quickly when it’s not straightened out can cause shooting pain.

A lot of people have their hang ups when it comes to anal sex because of false ideas that they hear about it.  A lot of the rumors that we hear about anal sex and why it is bad are completely untrue, or not researched thoroughly.

Common Myths about Buttholes

Buttholes are dirty.
Since we were younger we’ve been taught that buttholes are dirty and should not be tampered with.  The only concern you should have with anal sex is not to go directly from the butthole to the vagina without cleansing your penis or toy.  The butthole generally is as clean as any other part of you but has certain bacteria that should not be exposed to any other part of your body.

Butthole pleasure hurts.
At first anal sex can be painful, however it is not as painful as it may sound.  Ultimately anal sex shouldn’t be painful at all if it is done correctly.  The keys to successful butthole penetration are relaxation and lubrication.  The butthole is something that can stretch to allow the entrance of something as small as a finger to a very large penis.  It may take some time getting used to, but anal sex ultimately doesn’t hurt.

Butthole sex is dangerous to your health.
Butthole sex alone is not dangerous to your health.  Any form of sex can be dangerous to your health if not protected correctly.  Always use a lubricated condom if you do not know the sexually transmitted disease status of your partner.  After all the precautions have been acknowledged, remember that butthole pleasure has been proven to improve your overall anal health and does not cause any harm to your anus or rectum.

Sex in your butthole is not natural.
Any way you wish to perform a sexual act should feel natural to you.  If anal sex doesn’t feel natural to you, then you shouldn’t do it.  This myth is only subjective to the individual.  Butthole pleasure doesn’t have to be an unnatural act if you don’t want it to be.

Source

Anonymous: Anal Only Lifestyle sounds like it should be a lot of fun. But are there any long term health risks for the woman?

In general, for people who are otherwise healthy, regular anal sex practiced safely with whatever lube is necessary and and warmup beforehand is perfectly safe, even after decades of being anal only.