Anonymous: so my boyfriend wants to try anal sometime. he has brought this up quite a bit so obviously it is something he is interested in. i guess i would be up for it but my main worry is the long term cons that come from doing it. you know like anal prolapse, it becoming too loose and not being able to hold things leading the diapers, anal tearing, anal cancer… etc. so how do you keep from getting all these things (especially the whole anal prolapse thing)?

Most of those cons are myths, or if they have a shade of truth, they aren’t in any way universal.

Anal prolapse is not caused by anal sex, even if it is regularly practiced. It is possible that it can be caused by extreme anal play at large sizes, but most “prolapse” in porn is a deliberate act resulting from a conscious pushing out after warming up to have a loosened anus, and is not something that happens involuntarily like the true medical condition of anal prolapse. True prolapse is much more likely to be cause by a predisposition to that condition rather than safe anal sex and play.

Looseness/involuntary muscle control leading to incontinence, etc., are caused by muscle damage, not anal sex. Regular anal sex with proper warmup and lube do not cause damage to the anal sphincters, they actually strengthen them and help develop greater muscle control. Read up on how to warm up properly for anal sex and never “push through” pain and you’ll be fine. There can be temporary looseness during and after anal sex, but you will tighten up again naturally after, usually within several hours or less.

Anal tearing can be a concern, and you should always warm up a sufficient amount and use plenty of lube to avoid it. With the right practices you can avoid it completely.

Anal cancer is not caused by anal sex, it’s caused by having sex with someone infected with HPV. There is nothing anal specific about this—HPV can also cause cervical cancer.

From a student magazine, “The Lantern” comes this article and the authors experiences after a boyfriend requested anal sex:

I needed some input, so I called my friend Jessica who has a lot of expertise in this domain.

She told me it’s painful at first, but now she enjoys it.

Another friend opted to try it because pregnancy isn’t a possibility. It almost appears anal sex is the miracle women have been looking for: being able to enjoy someone else and a built-in birth control without marking up a calendar?!

She concludes with further reader comments and her own feelings about anal:

From the female end, a few women claimed they absolutely loved it, April wrote: “An ex introduced me to it and it was the only way I could get off.”

Men who wrote in said they love it because it’s a tight sensation and they had orgasms.

The truth is anal sex is natural. It’s not barbaric and several heterosexual couples do it, but it has a discouraging stigma attached to it. My friend Jessica gave it a rave review, while other friends who haven’t tried it only assume the worst.

Anonymous: Will anal cause inconteninse? My wife any I both enjoy anal more then vaginal and experience very intense orgasms, however the only reason why we don’t do it more often it concern that it may make her inconsonant in the future?

Not as long as you’re careful and use proper warmup technique. Incontinence is caused by damaged muscles and nerves. Forcing the muscles open aggressively can potentially cause injury (if it’s painful, you’re doing something wrong and could result in damage) but if you warm up first or develop muscle control to relax at will, you should be fine. Developing that control actually strengthens sphincter muscles rather than weakening them.

You should enjoy anal as often as you want—if you prefer it more than vaginal, going anal only sounds like something you should try for a while.

In my world view, sex is communication.

By that token, any way we can communicate with our beloved is a blessing. Whether it’s traditional sex, oral sex, massage, cuddling—or even that deep, dark taboo of anal sex. There’s a reason why anal sex is often considered less than palatable: besides the obvious unsanitary (but necessary) function of the anus, even the word sounds icky.

However, incorporating the whole of our bodies into our acts of intimacy only serves to deepen the bond we share with our partner. So, if you’re willing and in the mood, open your mind, relax your body, and let’s take a look at what anal sex can offer you and your partner.

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Mr. Man on hipforums’ Oral & Anal Sex forum asks:

I have read that there are some women who actually prefer anal sex to vaginal sex, because the orgasms from it are better than from regular sex. Which I find interesting because I had always read that women couldn’t orgasm from anal sex. Any ladies here who can give their opinions on this?

JoeBone replies:

I don’t see how a woman can orgasm from anal sex, unless you are otherwise manipulating the clitoris or going for a g-spot orgasm using whatever. I just don’t buy it.

Otherwise, I’m sure that there are a few woman out there who are really into anal that just might prefer it – but I can’t imagine why.

First he makes a blanket statement for all women, even though 1) he is not a woman, and 2) different women react differently to different stimulation, then he manages to display total ignorance of reality, because there actually are a number of women who can orgasm from anal alone with no clitoral stimulation. There is also an ongoing assumption that orgasms from anal sex only refer to anal only orgasms, rather than what many women who cannot experience anal only orgasms do: combining clitoral stimulation with anal penetration for an orgasm more powerful than with clitoral/vaginal stimulation alone.

Several people jump in with their own anecdotes to counter JoeBone, however:

I’ve fucked a chick in the ass and she cummed without any other stimulation. Solve that one for me JoeBone…

My good friend told me anal makes her squirt. lol She loves it

But he’s having none of it:

I’m sure there was no possibility that she was faking it.

People like this who discount claims of people’s sexual functions because they conflict with their personal worldview or preferences are harmful to the general public’s understanding of sexuality.

Then there’s this.

My gf cums from anal all the time. She can actually reach orgasm in about half the time it takes her to cum vaginally. She says the orgasms are quicker and more intense.

Lots of women like anal. My gf doesn’t prefer it over vaginal, but when it comes to giving her quick and powerful orgasm I go for the butt. I don’t think either of us would want to give up vaginal for anal, but anal is more intense and gratifying for both of us.

For me there is nothing hotter than seeing my gf’s big butt bent over, and spread, with my cock nestle snugly between her ass cheeks, balls deep in her warm anus. Not to mention when she cums, her asshole spasms, practically milking my penis. It’s the best feeling ever, I love making my girl cum anally, it feels so great for both of us.

He says neither of them want to give up vaginal for anal but then goes on and on about why anal is so much better for the both of them and gives them quicker, more powerful orgasms than vaginal. That sort of thing seems pretty common, where people clearly prefer anal by far and yet still refuse to recognize that fact and think they need to continue fucking pussy as well.

Source

Of all the sex acts, In The Butt remains one of the most misunderstood and taboo. Here, two anal sex enthusiasts give anybody who’s interested in trying it out some real talk.

Generally speaking, anal sex isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you are thinking of mutually pleasurable things to do with a partner. Instead, the urban sex legend goes, “guys want it because they’ve heard it’s tighter than normal sex and they’ve seen it in porn, and girls occasionally acquiesce as a bargaining chip/reward/very special birthday present.”

But aside from tipsy late-night conversations between women (or women and their gay guy friends), practical knowledge of butt sex in the wild is hard to come by. Thus, we asked two women who have actually done it about their motives, their preparation process, and whether it’s ever gotten them off.

If these are the best “enthusiasts” they could find, they didn’t look very hard.

6. Does it ever feel good?

[…]

Girl B: It never really feels good. Just becomes more tolerable, I suppose.

That’s not an enthusiast, that’s someone who had anal sex and didn’t like it and then agreed to be interviewed about it.

There are thousands of women out there who love anal sex and get off better from it than from vaginal sex. If you’re going to write an article about whether or not women enjoy anal sex, you owe it to your readers to be thorough and actually find out if they do rather than (apparently) grabbing the first two women you can find who said they’ve been fucked in the ass and calling them experts. If you call someone an anal enthusiast and then they say they don’t even like anal, you’re turning off a lot of your readers from even considering something that could be the most pleasurable sex act they’ve ever experienced.

Not that one should expect any better from Cosmo.

Source

I had high hopes for this article:

http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/butt-sex-porn-society/

But in the end was left greatly disappointed, as it perpetuates the same old myths, invents a few new ones and simply does not square with most peoples experiences.

The author (apparently a “sex writer” who has never had anal sex) makes a show of being neutral on the matter of heterosexual anal, but the piece is yet again more anti-anal propaganda.

I also think the men she interviewed for the article (who all come out against anal sex) are complete fabrications.

Take this quote, from “Scott”:

“I really like vaginas. They are just fantastic. I’m not really looking for an alternative,” he says. “When something else comes up, it’s like, what is this shit? That’s not what I came here for.”

This is useful when she wants to suggest there is no real demand for anal sex from straight men:

But among the men I spoke to, the “why is there anal sex in non-anal porn” gripe was common enough that I’m inclined to think that audience is much smaller than most porn directors think.

Her own data (from a recent survey) conflicts with her assertions – Anal sex is more popular than ever, especially among younger people (16-24).

I expect more articles in on this theme as more people discover a preference for anal sex – and expect more authors like EJ Dickson to stand Canute-like, fighting the tide.

But don’t take my word for it, have a read and decide for yourself.

Anonymous: i ‘ve always believed that some bitches deserve only hard raw assfucking and cum down their throats

It’s not about punishment or degradation, it’s about the idea of the woman liking and wanting to be anal only as much as the man. And following that, I think every woman should be anal only. Vaginal sex should only be used for procreation and once she’s pregnant, right back to anal only. The vast majority of women who dislike anal simply aren’t doing it properly. If it hurts or is uncomfortable, you’re doing it wrong! Proper anal feels incredible, causes powerful orgasms and is safer than vaginal sex because it removes most of the risk of pregnancy without the need for birth control.

Now, it’s of course entirely up to each woman whether she actually wants to be, so even when I say things like “every woman should be anal only”, that’s just my personal opinion, and even then I really mean every woman should give the idea of being anal only a chance and try it for a week or a month or some period of time to see for herself whether she likes it. But even then just the idea of trying won’t appeal to some women and that’s fine. I’m just a guy with a blog giving out my opinion, and people who disagree are free to ignore me.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

Anonymous: Well, with the attitude that anon has, he’s going to have it hard to find a woman… Even one that would enjoy domination in bed. That’s just such a wrong way to approach things, it reeks of misogyny and is an insult to those who enjoy consensual domination in bed.

Harvard University’s annual Sex Week observance, which launched Sunday, includes a workshop called “What What in the Butt: Anal Sex 101″ that aims to teach the Ivy League students how to have anal sex.

So-called sex experts from a local adult store will lead the Tuesday talk, which seeks to “dispel myths about anal sex and give you insight into why people do it and how to do it well,” the Fall 2014 Harvard Sex Week agenda states.

“They will cover a wide variety of topics, including: anal anatomy and the potential for pleasure for all genders; how to talk about it with a partner; basic preparation and hygiene; lubes, anal toys, and safer sex; anal penetration for beginners, and much more,” the agenda adds. “Learn the facts about this exciting yet often misunderstood form of pleasure, find out the common mistakes people make, and get all your questions answered.”

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My boyfriend and I have tried anal sex a few times throughout our one year (and counting!) relationship. I currently work in the medical field as a CNA in a nursing home and I see almost everyday what bowel incontinence can do to a person’s dignity. My boyfriend enjoys anal sex and I do too (after a while of penetration). My question is, however, how often can a woman have anal sex before she becomes permanently incontinent? Please don’t judge! Thanks!

So what do people start doing? Judging.

ok honey listen. Use lube. and i mean use it. secondly only do it as a special treat not all the time.

also, arent you a little young for anal? whats wrong with vaginal sex at your age.

Starts out a bit patronizing, then makes a valid point (lots of lube is always good)… and then promptly goes off the deep end. There’s no reason to do it only as a special treat. If both partners love anal, do it as often as you want it.

Then the idiotic suggestion that a woman in her early 20s is too young to be trying anal sex and she should just be happy with her vagina at that age. Come on. Not everyone likes vaginal sex as much as anal, regardless of their age. Age has nothing to do with it. Your body and preferences does.

Finally, no one really gave a true answer. And the answer is this: safely practiced anal sex with proper warmup and lubrication, even daily anal sex with the exclusion of vaginal sex, does not cause incontinence, prolapse, fissures, hemorrhoids, or any sort of permanently loose, gaping hole. The sphincter is a muscle, and anal sex exercises it and gives you more tone and control. People who have regular anal sex have better anal control than those who don’t. You can also do kegel exercises to strengthen those muscles even further.

There are some people who have preexisting conditions that make them more susceptible to the aforementioned issues, and anal sex can aggravate or trigger the issues for those people—but so can a lot of other things. There are people who get anal fissures, hemorrhoids and prolapse simply from sitting on a toilet seat and going to the bathroom. In some cases, anal training and sex has helped people with hemorrhoids and fissures because excessive anal tightness made things worse for them.