Lucy, 34, a beautician, has been married for 10 years and has 4 kids.

For a long time I thought of anal as being the ultimate in submission or part of S&M, but with the right partner, it can be fantastic!

Once I’d been with my husband for a while I totally accepted my body and I stopped worrying about modesty. Still, it took a long time for me to want anal and to get pleasure from it. If you’re gentle, anal sex isn’t violent and once you’re used to it it’s great.

I’d also heard that only men could achieve orgasm through anal sex, because you rub against the prostrate, which women don’t have. But I’ve had better orgasms through anal than I’ve had through vaginal penetration. You just need to take your time and be gentle.

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Anal sex can be amazing – and orgasmic. As my friend and fellow sex educator Rachel Venning says, “Anal sex is like yoga for your butt!” And I agree. It’s healthy for the anal muscles, bringing blood and circulation into the sphincter. But I’m also not afraid to address the obstacles to having great anal play. Here are four valid reasons why you might not want to do it.

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When we first started dating, he liked me but also it was because even though he had sex with his wife, only regular sex, it was borring and repetitive as he put it.

I started to go out with him when I was 18, he was 38. I knew then he wanted no regular sex. So it all started with me giving him a lot of oral and anal sex. We where meeting like 5 days a week while dating, with sex every time.

When I was 22, and he was 42 was when we got married. Everything has been perfect, he is an incredible husband. But the sex still continued with mostly oral and some anal.

We have been together 10 years, married 6 ½, we still have sex at least 5 times a week, but I am still a virgin.

He has a son, we have decided not to have children.

I am not complaining about my sex life, but I am wondering if this is an unusual situation. I can’t be the only one.

A lot of people respond in a vaguely “well, if you’re happy…” sort of way while also implying that he’s abusing her or is secretly gay. She responds again to clarify that anal sex is very enjoyable to her.

The sex is very good, I enjoy giving him oral and have found anal to be very stimulating and orgasmic sometimes.

Unfortunately, not a single person responds in a truly supportive way to let her know that there are others out there who choose to be exactly the same way and love it and that there’s nothing wrong with it if everyone’s happy with it.

Perhaps some other anal only women need to pitch in and give their point of view, encouraging her to remain anal only and value and enjoy her vaginal virginity.

OK so we all love sex and apparently all love to talk about it too, but there’s one thing that can kill a conversation faster than the rest – anal sex.

For some reason anal sex has remained a taboo subject in the UK and getting to grips with anal sex problems can be a bit of a mystery to some.

The only place you can really find out more is in pornography and we all know it’s a lot less realistic shall we say, than what actually goes down.

But does it hurt? Is it clean? How many people actually do it? Why would I want to?

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My girlfriend only wants anal sex and I really don’t feel comfortable with this. I am a strict Christian I do not believe that this kind of sex is either appropriate or godly. I only go along with it because I love her but it makes me feel very dirty what should I do?

I am supposed to be marrying this woman in August of this year. When I met her six years ago she never asked me to do this and our sex was far more enjoyable but she completely rejects vaginal intercourse now and I find this rather perplexing.

I have tried talking to her obviously but she says that she prefers it and I can’t understand why.

Uh, maybe because it feels better for her?

What is wrong with these people answering the questions, too?

What kind of reason does she give you for not wanting vaginal intercourse? This would be a big red flag to me, and keep in mind that this likely won’t change without some work addressing this issue.

Treating a love or preference for anal and a dislike of vaginal sex as an issue that needs “work” to resolve it is terrible and just serves to shame and condemn people whose bodies work differently from others.

i can’t understand why either. i am a girl and i’d prefer vaginal sex. i don’t think that anal sex is a turn on. and plus it hurts.

We’re in desperate need of broad anal sex education if the average woman continues to believe anal sex has to hurt no matter what. A combination of a lack of education on the subject and bad experiences with guys who don’t know how to prepare a woman for anal sex is ruining the most pleasurable form of sex for many people.

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She says shes never had anal sex before, but when we tried it there was no difficulty getting it in. Is she telling the truth or lying?

This is incredibly frustrating to me. The first time they tried anal it wasn’t difficult and painful for the woman, so in his view she must be a liar who has been fucked in the ass before.

First, everyone is different, and some people have no problem taking cock up their ass on their first try. There are plenty of people online who report their first anal going seamlessly with no pain or difficulty at all.

Second, maybe she prepared for it by fingering or toying herself before. Maybe she’s masturbated anally on her own in the past because she likes how it feels. Maybe she thought things through ahead of time like a rational human rather than just letting a guy stick his dick in with no preparation.

A few good responses:

Let me just say that the first time I had anal, it wasn’t hard for him to get in and it didn’t really hurt me like I thought it would. I wouldn’t judge by that, plus my b/f kept asking me if I had anal before, so he may have had the same thought as you, but it really was my first.

Maybe she read a lot of articles and books or whatever on anal sex and knew how to prepare herself for it. Maybe she prepared her “tight little a$$” with a buttplug or something before you came over to cornhole her.

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Many people prefer anal sex to vaginal sex. The science behind this phenomenon is that there are many nerve endings in the anus that bring good feelings when they get stimulated. But is it okay to have anal sex? And more importantly, is it harmful?

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The human body is designed in an extremely practical way: while the sex organs serve to procreate, the rectum and anus serve to expel body waste. The anus seemingly has no sexual role and provides no feelings of pleasure. It is considered by socially to be a dirty part of the body, which explains the reluctance to use it for sex.

Male and female pleasure

• Men are often the ones who suggest anal sex to their partners because it provides them with intense pleasure. As the anal passage is narrower than the vagina, the penis is gripped more tightly, and the man’s feelings of pleasure increase tenfold.
• Women can also derive pleasure from anal sex and some are even capable of reaching orgasm! Gradually and gently is the way to go, with the man paying full attention to what his partner tells him.

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Here are ways make anal sex pleasurable for both you and your partner.

August is anal sex month, so I’ve put together some tips for how to try it without any pain and, possibly, find it orgasmic.

I’ll summarize the tips below and you can go to the full article to read the details of each.

1. If you can’t see it happening, it will never happen.
2. You must know your own body.
3. Make sure you lubricate!
4. Use a condom for all anal sex.
5. Women in porn often stimulate their clitoris during anal play.
6. Use your fingers or a small anal toy, like the Bendi Butt Plug, to warm up for anal sex.
7. As Jayme Waxman said on Better Sex Radio, porn stars are sexual athletes.
8. Women should use her muscles to push as she moves onto the penis.

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