Category: Anal Myths

This category contains posts that discuss common myths. For more information, see our list of Common Myths & Fears About Anal Sex and Long-term Health.


Discussion: She Only Prefers Anal Sex

Met someone on POF who`s company i adore.
We`ve been out a few times. She spent the weekend at my home. We really get along, and our time we spend together is really amazing!We babrely left my apartment.

Each time we engaged in sex, she would only allow me to enter her anally.I was taken aback by her request.She seemed to like oral sex performed on her as well as my hands caressing her.Yet, each time i attempted to penetrate her vagina she refused.

She explained to me, its nothing personal, but, until she becomes comfortable with me, she doesn`t allow anyone to enter her.
Don`t get me wrong, i`m not complaining,but i do find this preference rather odd.
Has anyone else experienced this before?

His reaction to a woman who only wants anal sex is unfortunate, acting like it’s somehow unusual or strange for a woman to prefer anal sex or only want anal and not want him to penetrate her vaginally. The responses he receives are similarly disappointing, ranging from insulting her…

“Odd” isn’t the word for it. I’m thinking more along the lines of “nutjob.”

…to accusing him of making up a fantasy story…

haha, sounds like you have quite the active and elaborate fantasy life. anyway….

Has anyone else experienced this before?

strangely, i find the question itself to be of greater interest than your absurd story. do you hope the answer is “yes”, do you wonder if it is “no”; are you merely taking a poll (against forum rules) or are you asking for advice but haven’t quite figured out a way to frame your anally fixated question; and… either way, what will you do with the information once you get it? also, have you written your daily posting to ass.fetish.blogspot.com yet or did they delete your account for violating TOS and is that why you came here?

…to the classic accusation that she is actually a man in disguise…

are you CERTAIN she’s a SHE???

a real SHE???

Honestly, it’s an incredibly frustrating look at the ignorance towards anal sex that still remains in the world and which can make it a challenge for anal only people to meet partners and communicate their desires without judgement. Most everyone is making hostile and crude jokes or being downright insulting towards the idea of preferring anal sex, or the concept of anal in general. However over the course of the 16 pages that this crazy thread goes on for, a few more reasonable people do turn up, fortunately, but… wow.

Continue Reading on Plentyoffish

Discussion: Prefer Anal Over Vaginal Sex

That’s the topic of a thread over on WeddingBee, where a user asks:

I am just curious if others prefer anal over vaginal sex..I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids which cause me to have bad cramps and pain everyday plus I am going through menopause so I have vaginal dryness..When we start foreplay I am fine but not long after I dry up so I much prefer anal cause it seems to feel better plus I can orgasm…I thought about using creams for the dryness but kinds concerned of the affects from the creams…Anyone else experience the same problem and prefer anal?

I’ve heard similar stories many times, where with age, pregnancy, or as the result of various medical conditions, women find vaginal sex becomes very uncomfortable, unpleasant, or even painful, and turn to anal for continued intimacy, pleasure and sexual expression, finding it far more enjoyable and quickly coming to prefer it.

Of course, anal already has a lot going for it even without an inability to enjoy painless vaginal sex, but for those unable to have vaginal, anal provides a welcome alternative.

While some of the responses are positive and supportive, or even curious, others are very opposed to the idea and spread false myths:

The back door is an exit only. It is not meant for that kind of… attention. So take special care. A surprising number of people end up in the ER due to anal sex mishaps. I don’t see why you wouldn’t just use lube. It’s not as if your anus is self-lubricating, so I assume you are already using lube. Anyways, if you like it, that’s fine but vaginal lubes are perfectly safe.

It’s time for this myth to die. Anal sex will not cause you to end up in the ER. And she’s not using lube for vaginal because she, in her own words, says that she prefers anal. Good grief.

Some others do share a similar preference, however.

Yep! It is actually what I started with.. and did for years, so I came to prefer it. It hurts doing it the “regular way” -_- Of course, it can hurt also if you don’t take certain obvious precautions lol..

I love it, probably more than vaginal sex!! My fiancé isn’t as keen but he complies ? I’m a bit weird, I love the feeling afterwards, I like the pain, like he’s left his mark hahaha! I’m sick I know

And others comment on the judgmental attitudes expressed by some:

Wow, there’s a lot of judgy folks on here! Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s inherently “gross” or wrong. There’s lots of sexual activities that I’d admit don’t interest me, but have large followings for other people who DO enjoy them.

I really like anal, and we do it pretty often, but not all the time. I have to be in the right mood for the intense pleasure it offers. It’s certainly not “only an exit” (as evidenced by all the people who LIKE it an an entrance!) nor does it guarantee a mess all over your partner (has never happened to me in 6 years of anal). I don’t do any special preparation other than usually only doing it if I’ve already “emptied” earlier that day ?

It’s all about what makes you and your partner feel good! If all parties consent that’s all that matters.

All told, however, it shows the persistent and pervasive myths and negative attitudes towards anal that many people hold, and which need to continue to be countered by positive accounts and honesty about what it’s really like when done properly from those who enjoy it.

Continue Reading at WeddingBee

Article: “I prefer anal sex—but is it safe?”

Vaginal sex has never been any good for me. It’s not especially painful – only at first and then I feel mostly numb and a bit icky. I’ve always done it in relationships, but when my fiancé guessed I didn’t like it much we stopped completely. That was over a year ago. Since then we’ve explored alternatives and our sex life is great. I’ve found the best way for me to orgasm is through anal sex and using a vibrator on my clitoris. My boyfriend, I think, would prefer vaginal. Last night I went to a talk about women, confidence and pleasure. One of the speakers was asked about anal sex and said it was just something that was fashionable – that no woman likes it; those who do it are just pretending to be cool to keep their boyfriends happy; and that men who want it are likely gay or bi. They also said it’s a health risk and harms your body, but didn’t explain how. This has made me very anxious. Should we stop?

So begins an article at The Telegraph. This is why people who don’t know anything about anal sex shouldn’t be talking authoritatively about it and spreading myths and fear. Here’s a woman safely practicing anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, and greatly preferring it to vaginal, and she’s being falsely told that she’s wrong to prefer it because no woman actually likes it, and that it’s harmful.

I wasn’t at the talk you went to – but it’s a real shame you left an event about ‘women, confidence and pleasure’ feeling worried and uncertain.

It’s also not clear if the speaker was sharing their own opinions about anal sex, or if they were speaking in a more official, educational capacity.

Either way it doesn’t really matter.

They may have their reasons for disapproving of anal sex. But not all they said was accurate.

Unfortunately, the response ends up taking a similar tone towards the end and though it hedges it a bit by saying that it’s her choice to prefer anal, she should try to enjoy vaginal sex instead.

While enjoying anal is evidently your preference and choice, I did want to pick up on why you don’t like vaginal sex. You say “It’s not especially painful, I just feel mostly numb during it and it feels a bit icky”.  I don’t want to talk you into something you don’t like, but if vaginal sex has always been a source of physical discomfort it might be worth finding out why, rather than dismissing it.

Not everyone enjoys vaginal sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stop trying to make it what’s “normal” and disliking it “abnormal”, and instead recognize that some prefer vaginal, some prefer anal, some prefer oral, and some have other preferences yet. Being anal only is a perfectly valid choice and preference for many people.

Continue Reading at The Telegraph

Announcing the new Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle

Merry Christmas! For years, we’ve been answering questions about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle and giving advice to countless people through this blog, and that’s never going to change! But, while manually migrating nearly 1,900 posts off Tumblr to the new version of this blog, it became clear that many of the same questions got answered over and over again over the years.

To prevent redundant posts going forward, we’re happy to announce a new section on this blog, accessible via the Guide link in the menu at the top of each page, Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle. Broken into a number of key topics, this page attempts to answer in detail most of the frequently asked questions about anal training, myths about anal sex, hygiene and enemas, types of lubricant, butt plug and dildo recommendations, how to have anal sex for the first time, how to have anal orgasms, how to go anal only and why one might want to do so, dating and finding new partners for an anal only relationship, and more.

More topics will be added in time, and more details will be added to pages as relevant additions come up or are recommended. If you see anything missing or that you believe is incorrect or should be amended, please feel free to send a message or leave a comment on this post and let us know.

Article: TV Actress Mahika Sharma urges people to ‘stop having unnatural anal sex’ on World AIDS Day

Speaking out on World AIDS Day, the Bollywood star claimed anal sex and the rape of ‘goats and dogs’ was largely to blame for the epidemic, which is believed to affect over 36 million people worldwide.

‘I have met many AIDS survivors and their story left me into tears. I really feel bad for them. They are discriminated in the society. It’s really heart breaking. I really wish people stop having unnatural sex,’ she said in a statement to International Business Times in India.

‘There is no pleasure in ass fucking. There is a need to fight against the bacteria which infects our body through unnatural sex. These days we read about goats and dogs being raped, and when this people have sex with their partners, this may lead to HIV.’

It sounds like the real problem here is a lack of proper sexual education.

Anal sex does not cause disease, though it can spread through it, as well as every other form of sexual contact. People should of course always use protection or get tested along with any new partners before engaging in any sexual contact.

Anal sex is in fact pleasurable to many people, and can be more pleasurable than any other form of sex. There’s a reason people are choosing to go anal only.

Continue Reading at Metro

Article: Anal Sex Is Natural

Anal pleasure is natural.

The anus is rich in nerve endings and is part of sexual anatomy.

Thinking that the anus is a “one way” hole that is only meant for bowel movements is a little bit like saying our mouth is a “one way” hole only meant for eating – but we breathe out of our mouth, speak out of our mouth and use our mouth for many other practical and intimate functions. No body part only serves one purpose, and all of our body and its design is part of nature.

The anus is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body, and is wired into the same nerves as our genitals.

The muscles of the pelvic floor link the genitals and the anus intimately together, meaning all orgasmic contractions include both your genitals and your anus.

Continue Reading at Pleasure Mechanics

Article: Is Anal Sex Dangerous?

You don’t need to dig around too deep to read about someone’s anal sex horror story. There are tales of peoples asses falling out, people needing adult diapers for the rest of their lives, even people dying as the result of anal sex. While any of these things could happen the truth is that they don’t, at least not very often.  And if they did, it isn’t because someone had anal sex, it’s because someone had dangerous anal sex.

There’s a difference.

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Article: Does Anal Sex Always Hurt?

The idea that anal sex always hurts is a common myth, not unlike the idea that vaginal intercourse always hurts the first time. Neither of these is true.

The truth is that if you’re doing it right, no sex should ever hurt unless you want it to. By doing it “right,” I don’t just mean the right technique. Doing it right also means paying attention to your body and knowing how to respond when you notice a change in how sexual stimulation is feeling.

If you’re feeling unwanted pain or discomfort, it’s a good sign that you need to slow down, stop or switch up what you’re doing.

As for anal sex, it’s true that a lot of people do experience some pain or discomfort the first time they have it or the first time they have it with a new partner. That’s mostly due, however, to a lack of communication, cooperation and often not enough lubrication. It isn’t because there is something inherent to anal sex that means it has to hurt.

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Article: First Time Anal Sex — What You Need to Know

There’s so much misinformation about anal sex that one of the biggest obstacles to enjoying your first anal sex experience is everything you’ve heard about it before you have it.

Let’s start with one thing that is true:  anal sex isn’t a necessary part of anyone’s sex life.  You can have an amazing sexual life without ever exploring anal sex.  The one and only reason to try anal sex is because you want to.

Of course you can’t know for sure if you’ll like it without trying it.  But if you’re only considering it because your partner really wants you to or because everyone you know seems to be having it, then don’t bother.

I would soften that last statement somewhat—there’s nothing wrong with trying it because other people you know are doing it or have encouraged you to try it too, so long as you don’t feel pressured to do it against your will and are yourself curious about it as well.

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Message: Why Anal Doesn’t Cause Incontinence

petoetertjeHi, I am petoetertje from Fetlife. I want to add something to the debate if frequent anal sex can cause incontinence. Frequently people are thinking that somehow they will loose the ability to uphold stool. The most important continence muscle for solid stool is the puborectalis muscle. It’s a muscle sling situated at the turn from rectum to sigmoid colon. It pinches off the sigmoid colon much like you would pinch off a garden hose to prevent water flowing. So no risks involved there…

Quite right, but even the anal sphincter muscles themselves aren’t damaged or weakened simply having anal sex. A lot of people seem to think that over time they’ll end up with a permanent gaping anus, which simply doesn’t happen.