For women drawn to the unique fullness, connection, and intensity of double anal sex (DAP), the desire can feel both thrilling and intimidating. Many have fantasized about it — the taboo, the closeness, the surrender — but don’t know how to begin, or how to even talk about it with a partner.

We are here to tell you: yes, it’s absolutely possible — and more than that, it can be empowering, deeply intimate, and even life-changing. Whether you’ve already embraced the anal only lifestyle or are simply curious, double anal is a natural next step for those ready to go deeper — both physically and spiritually.

The Appeal of Double Anal

So why are more women openly embracing double anal?

• Intense fullness: Double anal offers an incomparable physical sensation — the stretch, the pressure, the depth.
• Erotic surrender: It requires trust, relaxation, and letting go — things that can deepen intimacy with your partner.
• Total commitment to anal only: For many, it’s the purest form of the lifestyle — a full rejection of vaginal sex and a full embrace of anal connection, where even multiple men share your ass rather than using your vagina.

And you don’t have to jump right into a two-man experience. You can start where you are — by yourself or with the man you trust most.

How to Introduce the Idea to Your Partner

If you’re craving double anal but aren’t sure how to bring it up, you’re not alone — even in open, trusting relationships, certain fantasies can feel intimidating to share. But the truth is, most partners want to know what turns you on — especially when you present it with excitement and clarity.

Here’s how to ease into the conversation:

1. Frame it as a shared adventure

Instead of saying, “I want double anal,” try:

“I’ve been fantasizing about something a little more intense… something we could explore together.”

This invites curiosity rather than pressure.

2. Share your why

Be honest about what excites you — whether it’s the fullness, the submission, the symbolism, or the idea of deepening your bond. If you already practice anal only together, this is a natural next step.

You might say:

“I’ve loved the intimacy we share with anal, and I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to take it even further — just you and me, plus a toy.”

3. Normalize it with facts or fantasy

Double anal might be taboo, but it’s also a common fantasy. You can reference erotic stories, videos, or even this blog. Let him know it’s not weird — it’s wildly hot.

If he’s nervous or surprised, let him process. Curiosity often grows once the seed is planted.

4. Start small and let him lead too

Make it clear that this isn’t about replacing or minimizing him — it’s about growing together. If he’s open, you can shop for a toy together, or plan a night to explore it gently.

Starting at Home: Your Partner + a Dildo

One of the easiest, most comfortable ways to begin exploring double anal is by using two dildos or by combining your partner’s penis with a toy to simulate DAP while you control the pace.

Tips for Getting Started:

1. Have an open conversation
   Let your partner know what you’re craving — not just physically, but emotionally. Emphasize your trust in them and your desire to explore this together.
2. Pick the right toy
   A realistic silicone dildo with a softer outside and rigid core is ideal for DAP. It simulates the natural give of a real second penis and can be much easier than a fully rigid toy.
3. Prep matters
   DAP requires more preparation than solo anal. Spend extra time on warm-up (with plugs or fingers) and plenty of lube. Even if you can do single anal without much lube, you’ll need more for double anal.
4. Positioning is everything
   Experiment with different positions, as some might be easier to start with than others. Doggy style with your partner behind you and the toy inserted first is often a great way to start. Or have him enter first, and then slowly guide the toy in. Cowgirl positions (with you on top) allow you the most control, but may be harder to insert the dildo at first.
5. Breathe, relax, and listen to your body
   It’s okay to take breaks, laugh, adjust, and try again. You’re creating a new shared experience — don’t rush perfection.

Moving Toward True DAP: Opening the Door to a Second Partner

Once you’ve experienced the sensation and intimacy of simulated DAP, it’s natural to consider expanding into a two-man scenario. This is a personal decision, and should only be done with full consent, communication, and preparation.

Ask Yourself:

• Am I emotionally ready for a second man in this space?
• Is my partner open to this, or does he just want to stick with us and a dildo?
• Do I want this for the sensation, the submission, the symbolism — or all three?

You’re allowed to want it all. And you’re allowed to go at your own pace.

Some women arrange threesomes where their male partner remains fully involved — choosing the second man, setting the rules, and keeping the focus on you.

Others explore anonymous or semi-anonymous arrangements, often facilitated by trusted communities online.

Whatever your path, remember: your body, your boundaries, your rules.

Why Double Anal Only?

Choosing to go double anal only — as a commitment, a lifestyle, a sexual philosophy — takes things even further.

It’s more intense, moving beyond single anal penetration to commit to always have sex with two partners in your ass every time you have sex. It’s a total renunciation of vaginal sex in all its forms. It says, “My pleasure, my power, my path, all go through one place — and I’m proud of it.”

Women who’ve made this choice describe feeling:

• More focused and connected to their partners, and feeling the joy of pleasuring them both anally at the same time
• Freed from expectation — many women initially feel the need to stay anally tight, whereas double anal allows them to embrace loose gaping and still provide incredible pleasure
• Turned on by their own discipline and commitment — by first giving up vaginal sex and then giving up single anal, and staying committed to it, it creates a life of disciplined pleasure that just grows the more the commitment remains
• A life of increased pleasure — double anal is like anal, but even better, with more stimulation, more intense stretching, more pleasure, and far greater orgasms from two partners moving inside your ass.

It’s a bold stand. And one you can work toward, little by little, with each intimate experience. You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to be perfect. And you absolutely don’t need permission. If your body craves fullness, if your heart longs to give up the old norms, if your fantasies linger on two shafts pressing deep and filling you up completely — embrace it. Talk to your partner. Try it once. Try it again.

This is your journey to double anal only. Start it tonight.

In a world addicted to excess, the anal only lifestyle offers a radical return to discipline, intention, and erotic clarity. For some, it starts as a preference — but for most, it becomes something far more: a calling. A shedding of the old, a conscious rejection of vaginal sex, and a path to sexual minimalism that frees the mind, body, and spirit.

Welcome to the practice of Anal Asceticism.

What Is Anal Asceticism?

Anal Asceticism is the spiritual and philosophical extension of the anal only lifestyle. It draws on the idea that less can be more — that by abstaining from vaginal sex and other distractions, we open space for a deeper, more intentional sexual experience. It is both erotic and ascetic, grounded and transcendent.

It’s not just about what we do with our bodies — it’s about why, how, and for whom.

The Core Principles

Discipline Over Indulgence

At its heart, Anal Asceticism is about choice. Not repression, but redirection. Vaginal sex may be available, even encouraged by culture — but we consciously say no. Not because we lack options, but because we’ve found a better one.

This is a lifestyle of mastery: mastery over impulse, distraction, and cultural expectation.

Sacred Sexual Simplicity

Vaginal sex often brings with it assumptions, scripts, and power structures we didn’t write. By limiting our erotic lives to anal intimacy, we shed those defaults. We reclaim the act — whether alone or with others — as intentional, meaningful, and deeply personal.

It’s not less — it’s pure.

Clean Living

Let’s be honest: Anal sex requires preparation. Attention to hygiene, consent, trust. There’s no autopilot. Anal Ascetics embrace this. We slow down. We clean up. We clear out distractions — literally and metaphorically.

This is not messy living. It’s clean freedom.

What the Practice Looks Like

Anal Asceticism can take many forms, depending on where you are in your journey:

• For the Partnered: It means rejecting vaginal-centric scripts and reimagining intimacy as something sacred and precise. Each session becomes a ceremony.
• For the Single: It means exploring anal eroticism without needing others — from butt plug wear and more advanced anal masturbation to double anal dildo play and mindful fantasy. It’s about commitment to the self.
• For the Curious: It means beginning the transition by reframing your sexual choices as a lifestyle, not just a kink. Replace “normal” with “chosen.”

The Benefits

Mental Clarity

By removing distractions and cultural defaults, we gain sharpness. Less confusion. More intention. Sex is no longer a tangle of shoulds and scripts — it becomes simple, clear, true.

Emotional Depth

There is a deeper vulnerability and trust required in anal intimacy. Practicing only that form creates stronger bonds, better communication, and more conscious care.

Erotic Power

Anal Ascetics are not passive. We are choosing. With each rejection of vaginal normativity, we grow stronger — not just in our sexual lives, but in how we move through the world.

From Individual Practice to Global Movement

What would it look like if more people chose the anal only lifestyle?

What if culture began to normalize — even revere — this focused, intentional lifestyle?

Anal Asceticism isn’t just personal. It’s political. It’s spiritual. It’s transformative.

It’s the first step toward an anal only world.

If you’ve already gone anal only, try going deeper. Consider where you might still be influenced by old habits, expectations, or impulses. What does your anal discipline look like? How might you refine it?

And if you’re just starting out — welcome. There is peace and power on this path.

Live clean. Live free. Live anal only.

Elodie: I stumbled upon this forum and found the questions of my female predecessors. I feel encouraged in asking for an unbiased opinion from you. I hope you can offer some insight or advice. I’m 32, and married. No kids and not planning on any right now. I’ve got a question about my sex life and feelings.

For the last 7 years, I’ve been into anal only, and for the past 2 years, I’ve been exploring DAP with a toy (about half the time). I feel pretty proud of myself for being able to do this and really loving it. Is it wrong to feel this way?

Here’s where it gets complicated: During our intimate times, especially when we watch group sex porn movies, we joke about me being as good as the young girls in porn doing DAP. We also joke about trying it for real someday in some swinger club, sex parties or similar. The thing is, I really think I actually want to try it for real, but I don’t want to share my husband with other women.

Am I being selfish? Is it okay to feel this way? I’m not sure how to handle these feelings.

Also, I’ve been reading more and more about women liking DAP and group sex. It seems to be something that gets more attractive once we women get older. Is this true or just some internet hoax, and I’m one of the few ones?

That’s wonderful to hear that you’ve had committed to anal only the past seven years and have been enjoying double anal for the past two years. Half of the time you have sex spent on double anal is something to be proud of! It’s absolutely not wrong to feel that way, and you have my encouragement to be openly proud of it!

It’s also very normal to compare yourself to girls in porn when you’re doing so well with DAP, and to start wanting to do it more frequently or with multiple men to experience DAP “for real”. As for not wanting to share your husband with other woman, that can be a bit more complex—but have you talked to him about it? Maybe he’s happy to DAP you with other men and doesn’t want more than that. Ultimately it comes down to what you both want and compromising on things that may not be perfect. I definitely encourage taking the step of starting to have double anal sex with two men, as it’s a wonderful experience for everyone involved when done right!

It’s definitely becoming increasingly popular for women to explore DAP or enjoy it regularly. Some of this is women becoming older and more confident in what they want, some is DAP becoming more widely known and enjoyed thanks to porn and just more mainstream exposure to it. Either way, it’s a good thing, because DAP is wonderful and beautiful and should be enjoyed by everyone!

Have you considered going double anal only at some point in the future? That’s also an increasing trend and I encourage trying it if you love DAP!

Grace: My name is Grace, and I’m 27 years old. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year. I have a strong preference for anal sex over vaginal, but he prefers vaginal and only engages in anal to make me happy, as he doesn’t particularly enjoy it himself.

We occasionally watch porn together, and I find myself really attracted to group sex scenes, especially those involving double anal penetration. These scenes make me incredibly aroused, and I often imagine myself in such scenarios. However, he’s not comfortable with these types of scenes.

In private, I’ve experimented with anal toys and really enjoy them. For a longer period now, I have been fantasizing about trying double anal with him using a toy, but also with another man involved. This desire has become something that I feel needs to be part of my life, and I’m struggling to reconcile this with my current relationship dynamics.

I’m unsure how to approach this with my boyfriend, given his preferences and discomfort with certain types of content. I’m starting to feel like this might be a deal-breaker for me, and I’m considering two options: either ending the relationship to find someone more compatible with my desires, or possibly building a secret life where I can explore these fantasies without his knowledge.

I’m torn between honesty and the potential consequences, and the desire to fulfill my needs without hurting him. Could you provide some guidance on how to navigate this situation, or how to communicate these desires with my partner in a way that respects both of our feelings and boundaries?

I’m sorry to hear that your partner doesn’t share your preference for anal. What leads him to prefer vaginal over anal? Does he not get as much physical pleasure from anal, or does he dislike the idea of anal sex? If he doesn’t like anal at all, you may have a hard time convincing him. If he prefers more sensation, though, it’s possible that starting to do double anal with him would be more pleasurable for him.

I encourage honesty and finding compatible partners over dishonesty and cheating, so if you are unsatisfied, you should be very clear with him that you want to be anal only and to start doing double anal, and ask him if he’s willing to try while also working to make it more pleasurable for him. If, for example, he wants more spontaneity that can be harder with anal, making the effort to stay clean and ready for anal at all times through diet, cleaning daily if needed, and wearing a butt plug when not having sex can make that much easier.

If he’s not interested in trying to go anal only or having double anal, you may need to end the relationship and find a partner who will be compatible with you sexually and who obsessively wants anal only with you as well, and wants to stretch your ass with his cock and a dildo, and eventually two cocks. I highly recommend pursuing the anal only lifestyle, double anal, and ultimately going double anal only.

Abby: Hi, I’ve been anal only with my boyfriend for two and a half years now, and it’s been great, we do it every few days if not every day sometimes, and we have been exploring stretching a lot too. We use some bigger toys, which helps make frequent anal easy since my boyfriend is quite large, both girthy and long. We have also incorporated some other guys into our sex life, mostly spitroasting and them running a train on my ass. My boyfriend wants us to start having double anal sex and I would love to as well but I was wondering if you had any advice for how to do it safely given his size.

Thanks for reaching out, it’s so good to hear that you’ve been having a good anal only experience and are now looking to advance things to double anal. I know it can be intimidating if you have a large partner already, but it’s well worth it to start doing double anal or even going to double anal only.

Since you already play with toys regularly, I encourage starting to go to toys larger than your partner when masturbating, and then starting to have sex with him with a smaller dildo alongside his cock. You can work up from there to a dildo similar in size to him or the partners you plan on having double anal sex with, until it’s easy and comfortable to do so regularly. I’d encourage starting out doing this at least once a week, and increasing from there.

Similar to getting started with anal, advancing to DAP is just about gradual progress and going slowly enough at first that things don’t hurt. If you stick with that, you’ll be just fine and you’ll be taking two cocks up your ass in no time! From there, I recommend exploring the idea of going double anal only, even if just sticking with your boyfriend and a dildo every time you have sex at first, and then swapping that dildo for another guy when available.

Good luck, you’re going to love it!

Lea: I’m a 19-year-old female in a relationship for a year. Very early on, I learned that anal was THE thing for my man. I was an anal virgin, he was very patient with me, and I learned to appreciate it. At first it was like once a fortnight, then once every week, then 2 to 3 times a week… For like 6 months, anal became the de facto penetration for us with occasional vaginal intercourse once every fortnight.

Since January, we only do anal, and I try to not even use my clit, but I still haven’t had a single anal orgasm… This is getting frustrating.

We are considering buying a sex machine for me to help me achieve an orgasm. Is that a good strategy or is there a better way to get to that goal?

I’m very glad to hear that anal quickly became your norm and that you’ve been anal only so far this year. It’s well worth the commitment, clit denial doubly so, even though it can be frustrating at first as you learn to adjust.

Anal orgasms can be tricky because everyone orgasms a bit differently, and so what works for one person may not for others. For some people, the best approach is to simply stop vaginal/clitoral stimulation altogether and learn to adapt to anal stimulation. This can take multiple months but can work.

For others, what tends to work best is to stop vaginal penetration but still include some clitoral stimulation alongside the anal penetration, almost edging with your clit but then trying to get over the edge with the anal penetration. This further associates anal penetration with pleasure and orgasm and then gradually you can use your clit less and less as your ass takes up more and more of the role of orgasm trigger.

I encourage continuing with anal only and exploring ways to achieve anal orgasm, and if you find that you need to just use your clit occasionally at first to orgasm during anal rather than giving up anal only altogether, that is a better compromise than giving up anal only and going back to vaginal penetration.

A machine may help, but with practice and patience you should be able to get to anal orgasm with your boyfriend without needing a machine.

Zack: I have a serious question. You said in your blog that there’s a lot of advantages of women keeping their virginity by never having vaginal sex. However, would you recommend to women to never have vaginal sex until the day they die? Or should they loose their vaginal virginity someday? Also are there any advantages to staying a virgin from a woman’s perspective? Thanks

Advantages to remaining a vaginal virgin for life include:

• The pride in being purely anal only and never even once wasting time on vaginal sex, which can be appealing both for women and for their male partners.
• The focused pleasure and arousal through only ever experiencing anal penetration without the distraction of vaginal stimulation. Those who commit to pure anal only often experience much more pleasure from it long-term.
• Ensuring consistent birth control and avoiding unwanted pregnancy by never having vaginal sex. When and if children are wanted, women can get pregnant by their partner ejaculating into their rectum and then pushing out the semen while holding open the vagina. While this can take longer to achieve the same goal, it is possible and does work. Alternatively, the partner can pull out and press against the vagina without penetrating to ejaculate inside.

Ultimately it’s up to each person what they want to achieve, but generally if someone commits to the anal only lifestyle before doing vaginal, it’s rare that they want to try vaginal. If they do, it tends to just push them back to pure anal, so why waste the time and lose the beauty of pure vaginal virginity?

Monique: Recently I’ve been exploring my sexuality and I’ve discovered that I’m highly interested in anal stimulation. I know this might sound surprising, considering I’ve never had any kind of sexual intercourse, vaginal or anal, and I’ve only engaged in self-pleasure through anal stimulation with my fingers and toys never with another person.

My curiosity about anal arose when some of my female friends discussed having anal sex with their boyfriends as a way to remain virgins and avoid unwanted pregnancies. I was secretly fascinated by the idea, but more importantly, I discovered that when I explored myself, I genuinely enjoyed and preferred anal stimulation to vaginal. It’s a sensation that feels uniquely satisfying to me and since then I’ve abandoned any vaginal play.

I’m writing to ask if I might be part of the “Anal Only” community, even though I’ve never had any anal intercourse with another person. I hope you can help me make sense of my own desires and preferences. Am I part of this community, or is there a more appropriate term or category that fits my situation?

You absolutely are anal only! You haven’t had sex, but you choose to focus all your sexual stimulation/masturbation on anal only and that certainly counts. Consider yourself a proud member of the community and lifestyle.

I hope that when/if you choose to have sex with a partner in the future, you continue your anal only commitment.

AnalOnlyMom: When my daughter first shared her decision to engage the Anal Only lifestyle while choosing to remain a vaginal virgin, my initial reaction was a mix of concern and curiosity. As a mother, my instinct is always to protect and guide, but I’ve learned that supporting her means respecting her autonomy and choices, even if they are different from what I might have expected or chosen for myself. She’s an adult now, and I admire her confidence in making a choice that aligns with her personal values and desires.

As I listened to her explain her decision, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own experiences and choices. I realized that her decision had sparked a curiosity in me—one I hadn’t anticipated. I found myself wondering about the motivations behind her choice and the experiences she might be having. It wasn’t just about the specifics of her sexual activities but also about the underlying reasons and feelings she had.

Her choice led me to think about my own perceptions and experiences with sexuality. I started to explore the idea of what it would mean for me to consider something similar. Not that I’m planning to make any drastic changes in my life, but her choice made me more introspective about my own desires and boundaries. It’s fascinating how learning about someone else’s journey can prompt a deeper exploration of our own.

Supporting my daughter has also opened up a space for us to have more honest and open conversations about sex and intimacy. We talk about her experiences and the reasons behind her choices, and through these conversations, I’ve come to appreciate her decision even more. It’s helped me realize that being open to new ideas and perspectives, even those that challenge my own, can lead to a greater understanding of both my daughter and myself.

Thanks for sharing! I think it’s great that you were able to reflect and get inspired to consider anal only in your own life based on her decision and explanation. You say you aren’t planning to make drastic changes but also that you’re considering AO for yourself. I highly encourage embracing anal only and making the transition as soon as you can—at least to try it at first, before committing long term if you enjoy it! Is there anything holding you back?

Tim: I am a 30 something man and I have met a woman in her 70s, we have been enjoying each others company a lot and I asked her if she would like to make love. She said yes and was very forward about how she prefers to primarily have anal sex, she is the first woman I’ve ever encountered like this.

All the advice I have read online about anal sex is targeted towards much younger women, what considerations are there for having anal sex with a woman her age?

Congratulations on meeting an anal only woman who is very clear and up front about her preference and intention. Generally the same advice will apply, but since she knows what she likes and wants and prefers, I would also encourage checking with her about what she needs from you to ensure her enjoyment and safety. If she actively engages in anal sex, she probably has a good ability to relax her anus for you.