surfershane: Just wondering if you can pass on any tips to make first time anal easier and enjoyable

Lots of practice/training/warmup, butt plugs, lube, and the recipient in control at first the first few times you fuck.

The anal sphincter needs to be relaxed in order to loosen. It’s the opposite of most other muscles in that its natural state is to be tight and rigid and it softens/loosens when “flexing” it. Some of its looseness can be voluntarily controlled (with practice) while some is involuntary. So you need to practice to increase your voluntary control while also working up the size of objects you can fit inside over a period of weeks or more. Start with a finger. Just one. Combine it with other stimulation, especially at first, to help make the anal penetration feel better and start building an association of anal with pleasure. Once comfortable with one, work up to a second finger. Keep on going up to three or four, only adding another when ready and backing off if it hurts.

Once you can fit three or four, it’s time for a butt plug. There are a lot out there, and the best are stainless steel, silicone or glass. A lot of the really cheap ones are made from unsafe or otherwise inferior materials that smell bad and can in some cases have bad skin reactions and burn. There are some good ones that aren’t too expensive, though—the Tantus Ryder is a very nice small/medium silicone plug you can get for around $20. Wearing a plug during oral, masturbation, and other sexual activities is a great way to warm up for the main event of anal. It’s also great to wear one for a while before sex, or even while doing other non-sexual things. Plugs really help develop voluntary muscle control that makes future sex easier.

Incorporating some sort of anal stimulation regularly during sex and masturbation will greatly speed up both an attraction to/enjoyment of anal and the ease with which it’s possible to move on to actual sex.

Once comfortable with objects close to the size of a penis, it’s time to try the real thing. It’s usually good for the person being penetrated to be in control at first when starting out, so they can control the speed, depth and angle of penetration and stop if anything hurts. If there is pain, just stop immediately wait in place a moment until it fades, then resume. You can also back off slightly before pausing and then push forward again. Once fully penetrated as far as comfortably possible, wait a minute or so, then slowly increase speed. After a few minutes, the penetrator can usually take control but needs to be very mindful of comfort and stop if anything hurts.

Anonymous: So me and my boyfriend have started doing anal, it hurt at first but after some time it felt amazing. I was wondering if I should buy an anal plug to keep it from tightening all the way back up, or what do you recommend?

Yes you should. You don’t have to wear the plug all the time (unless you want to), but a plug worn for a while before having sex, and on days when you aren’t having sex, can do wonders for helping to get and keep you relaxed. Regular anal masturbation either with fingers or a dildo, or playing with your clit and pussy while wearing a plug, can help to keep you ready for anal as well.

Someone on EdenFantasys’ forum asked:

How long have you wore a butt plug for?

Answers vary a lot, from a few hours to days. This response is by far the best, however:

I wore one for a week straight. I know for a fact, since we were on a cruise and I wore a different jeweled one, my hubby surprised me with each day. The last day it had a lovely ruby on the end…and it turns out it’s a real Ruby! He was spoiling me for our anniversary. Not a ruby I will flash for anyone but him, I should say!

I knew he would be visiting my tush at least a few times a day, so I kept the plug lubed by removing it every few hours and applying some thick gel lube, which hubby carried at all times in his pocket for me. When I would go swimming or doing any activity that might make me sweat, I would apply some more lube right after, so my tail end stayed stretched, happy and ready for my hubby to come in and play happily the whole trip.

Other then the lube sessions about every hour, and, of course, to use the bathroom, I wore it continually, even to sleep, although most nights, my hubby replaced the plug with his lovely penis instead. Yummy.

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Anonymous: Recommended butt plugs

There are a lot of good ones out there, but you should at least pay attention to the materials. Silicone, glass and stainless steel are the best. Glass and stainless steel are basically going to last forever, and are very easy to sterilize, and pure (medical grade) silicone is as well.

I’m a fan of Tantus (Ryder, A-bomb, and others) and Njoy (Pure Plug 2.0) products, but there are plenty of others as well. Check out reviews, and pay attention to size and material.

Cheap plugs can sometimes be tempting (and in a few cases are fine) but it’s often worth going for a somewhat higher quality one instead. Bad materials (especially certain jellies) can burn your skin, and in some cases can be toxic.

analonlygirls: Going on a first date or outing with a new potential lover or fuck buddy can sometimes be intimidating for an anal only girl.  Finishing up the night out with some hot sex is always a great way to wrap things up, but you might not have the confidence to raise the issue of wanting your relationship to be anal only.  Here are some tips to help ensure that it’s your little backdoor that gets put to use, starting your new relationship out on the right track…

A. Wear a buttplug.  This alone won’t ensure that your new friend doesn’t try to fuck your pussy as well, but it will act as a good ice breaker for raising the topic of you wanting things to be anal only.

B. Put tape or a bandaid over your pussy.  Like wearing a buttplug, this will act as an icebreaker, but it also sends a strong message that your ass is your hole that’s best made for sex.

C. Lie.  Telling someone new straight up that you already are or want to learn to be an anal only girl might be something you’re not ready to announce on the first date, but a little white lie might make ensure that things end up all anal, making it easier to raise the issue next time you’re together.  One I’ve used before it to tell a guy that I’m on my period and so we can only do anal.

D. Write on your butt or lower back with a marker that you’re an anal only girl or something similar.  This is a bold way to go, but it gets the message across clearly, and if you write something there before the date, you don’t have to worry about chickening out when your skirt is hiked up and the fucking is about to start.

Anonymous: I have submitted my personal experience for a while now, but now I am nervous about something else too. Frankly, we are not a 100% anal only couple. She has a small butt plug she bought before we tried anal. Now she says she likes to wear it for a while, not for long, like a hour or may be half an hour when she cooks or doing simple house work, but even she is curious about it—is it going to have a negative effect somehow in her ass?

No. There is no indication that even long term butt plug wear (days, weeks, months at a time with only several minute breaks) causes harm. It’s possible that a very large toy could cause harm to someone not prepared for it, but it’s likely going to cause discomfort far, far, far before any harm occurs. A small, comfortable plug can safely be worn even all day or longer with no issues at all (and it helps train the anal muscles, making future anal sex and pleasure easier).

Anonymous: Hiii everybody! I’ve been going anal only for a couple of weeks now and I have one advice for all my friends out there: Start wearing buttplugs! 😉 It makes spontaneous buttfucking sooooo much easier and pleasurable! 🙂 xoxo Linda

Thanks for the advice! It’s great advice, too: wearing a butt plug, even a small one, for extended periods of time, helps train your anal muscles and gives you increased control over them, both to tighten and to relax at will. Over time, you can gain the ability to easily jump right into spontaneous anal sex with little to no warmup and just some lube.

Plus wearing butt plugs is a lot of fun and can be really hot.

Anonymous: So I would love to perform anal on my gf, I myself like a prostate stimulator. We have used a small plug and my fingers on her, plenty of lube. All seemed well to me. She said it was painful and then told me he has hemorrhoids and was embarrassed to tell me. After the anal play they flared up and caused her discomfort and bleeding and was not fun. I would like to try again, kinda given up on my penis as girth is large, any suggestions?

Anal sex and hemorrhoids are one of those things where there’s a lot of conflicting information. Some people insist anal sex causes or makes hemorrhoids worse, while others say it’s possible to comfortably have anal with hemorrhoids or even that anal helps cure them.

In the short term, starting out, anal penetration can be physically stressful on the region while the recipient has a difficult time relaxing to allow easy entry, which may make hemorrhoids worse if it’s overdone.

In the long term however, it increases muscle control and makes it easy to relax and open up without strain, which can be a positive factor with hemorrhoids.

Ultimately, consulting a doctor and additional sources is the best approach with something like this.

Anonymous: I was never very open to anal but I recently started exploring and I’m very excited. I bought some plugs to play with until my boy can come fuck me but he’s asking about ass to mouth and having me rim him. I want to please him but I think I’m stuck on the idea that it’s risky and unclean. Thoughts?

Congratulations on your anal exploration! I hope you have a lot of fun with it.

Rimming is usually done externally only, so if you do it shortly after bathing and the recipient of the rimming cleans the area thoroughly (soaped up and well-scrubbed) there isn’t really anything unclean or dangerous about it. I think it’s only fair that you ask him to do it to you as well if you do it to him.

As for ass to mouth, many people only do that after having an enema to clean themselves out. The rectum is usually fairly clean when empty, however, and it may be perfectly fine to go ass to mouth without using an enema beforehand for some people. You’re unlikely to get sick from exposure to your own bacteria. It may be something you want to explore with a dildo or toy beforehand to see if you have any interest in it at all. If the idea doesn’t appeal to you at all after giving it a chance, don’t necessarily feel obligated to do it just because it’s something he wants.

tman79: What is a good way to train my ass to take a large and long cock?

With toys. Use butt plugs and dildos regularly, gradually increasing the size as you can comfortably do so. Avoid all pain—if it hurts, stop and rest and resume more slowly.

Extreme length can be tricky—there is a bend at the end of the rectum which has to be temporarily straightened if the object is particularly long. The best way is with a flexible dildo and to gradually press up against the bend and back off repeatedly until it gives way painlessly and opens up. Then pass the dildo back and forth through it for a while as it relaxes further.

Always warm up with a butt plug and/or dildo before attempting penetration with the real penis, and be sure to be able to comfortably fit a toy the size of the penis before trying it for the first time for real.