Anonymous: I fuck my girlfriend in the ass about once a week. We both enjoy it, and she has great orgasms, but she says it makes her too sore to have it more often. I really want to be able to fuck her ass every time we have sex. She said she would too if she didn’t get so sore. Is there anything we can do to keep her from getting so sore so we can be anal only? It’s the only time we can fuck without using a condom.

It sounds like you need to spend some more time on warmup and ease into things a bit more, as well as perhaps doing some lower intensity anal play more often. I would suggest that you let her go a week or so to get over any soreness after her last anal session, but then rather than having anal sex, start doing lots of anal play alongside other sexual activities. Have her wear a plug, both during oral/vaginal sex, and at other times. Doing this 3 – 5 times a week, if not daily, can really start to make a difference over the course of a week or so, even if just for a relatively short amount of time each day.

When you do have anal sex the next time, have her wear her plug first, then warm her up some more with fingers or a toy before having sex. This helps warm up her muscles and relax so that soreness is less likely to occur.

From there, return to your once a week anal session but keep up the anal play in the meantime as long as she’s not too sore for it. If after a week or two she’s able to do both with less soreness, try going to anal sex twice a week, and keep working up from there. You can absolutely get to the point where she can have anal sex daily, if not more than once a day, without getting sore, it just takes time and gradually working towards that goal, and then maintaining a relatively consistent routine so that her ass stays in that state where it’s ready for sex regularly.

hitmemister: My boyfriend and I are turning over a new stone. Up until now he hadn’t been much interested in orgasm denial but he’s extremely interested in giving me what I need lately and I am grateful.

So here’s to another denial period, guided by my partner this time and not just by myself. So, it should be a lot longer and more difficult this time because I am accountable to the one I love.

Also told him about my need to be anal only and my cuckquean fantasies. I’m apprehensive, nervous, and scared but I know he 100% listens to me as I do him.

Currently have a plug in my ass, and I’m going to start edging. ? Wish me luck!

Asks and replies of encouragement are appreciated. ❤️

Hi, it’s the girl you tagged 20180705 again. Nearly one month after my latest ask, I thought it was time to give you some feedback. We’re still anal only, my boyfriend is very happy, and he’s getting me more involved into the lifestyle: he gifted me some backless panties and a jewel butt plug to wear, and sometimes he talks about us getting tattoos. Our sex life really changed: before it was mostly routine with mediocre length, now it’s much more frequent and either longer or much shorter.

Actually, he does a lot of quickies now, which he never did before: mostly before we have to go outside or before friends come over, he directly fucks my ass with both of us barely undressed and little foreplay, then plugs me. It doesn’t affect the frequency of longer sessions, so I don’t mind and it actually turns me on. In fact, my view on sex has changed completely: before, it was just something that happened once in a while, and I otherwise didn’t think about it all that much.

Now, I’m sort of obsessed with it. Wearing very often the butt plug and backless panties play a role, of course, but sex is always on my mind anyway. It probably changes how I behave and dress: at work or with friends, I get a lot of “you’re very sexy today” that I didn’t get before. I guess it’s all related to the fact I just can’t cum anally yet: at every intercourse, I feel I’m very very close, but it just never happens. The strangest thing is, I’m not frustrated any more, I’m sort of hooked.

It’s like I’m flooded with hormones that make me horny, and I became addicted to the sensation itself. It’s weird and I don’t know if I make myself clear. I thought a lot about what you said, that there’s nothing wrong with submission so long as it’s my choice, and that acting like my boyfriend wants me to act “retrains” my brain and what I enjoy, to eventually cause pleasure and a refocus on other areas.

You’re basically one of the only persons I talk to about this, since I wanted my boyfriend to be 100% comfortable with it and think I was 100% OK with being anal only, without any doubt. My gay friend talked about what I said to him to his husband, who apparently talked about it to my boyfriend: we spent an evening at their place, and to my surprise the subject naturally came during conversation, and was talked about all evening in embarrassing details.

I was sort of mortified (and my friend too, since we’re both the “receivers”), but my boyfriend seemed to really love openly talking about it, and it was sort of fun and instructive. I admit it also turned me on to some extent.

I guess my main problem is the sensation of losing control, and not knowing where this is all heading. I don’t know if I can keep up with not orgasming at all, but I really dislike the idea of using clitoris stimulation in his presence, and I don’t want to come in secret.

Thanks for the update! It sounds like you’ve really settled into the anal only lifestyle very well as well as successfully incorporated clitoral and orgasm denial into your personal routine.

While it can certainly be a challenge at first for most people to start orgasm denial, because orgasms are a very powerful addiction, it’s not at all uncommon for people to discover with time just how much they enjoy an ongoing state of arousal and its associated pleasures far more than the short burst of pleasure from an orgasm.

That said, there’s nothing wrong with orgasms either for those who enjoy and want them, and with more time you may discover the ability to orgasm from anal as well.

Anonymous: Today is the day I finally tried out my butt plug and honestly I’m loving it so much

Congratulations! You’re going to have a lot of fun with it going forward, I’m sure!

abundanciadeporno: I woke up horny this morning. I haven’t got a Dom or anyone to really help take care of this problem, so I started to masturbate a bit in the shower when it occurred to me… this isn’t a problem. If I deny myself and stay horny, I can do orgasm denial on my own. I could use an orgasm as a prize for myself for something far off in the future, like getting a scientific paper published or… passing my dissertation proposal. I can use my horny sexual energy and channel it into other things. Positive reinforcement, right? I can make it… let’s say 30 days to start. I’ll work my way up to 100.

So instead of finishing myself off in the shower, I put my buttplug in instead. It’s about 4 inches long, not very wide, but shaped for all-day wear. And I’ve done all-day wear on this one before, so no big deal right? It’s been a while, but… what the hell. Let’s give it a shot. It’ll keep me soaking wet all day.

So I get to work. I’m a graduate student, and it’s summer, so the lab is a little bit deserted right now. I’m the only one in all day, and I’m working from a personal computer that’s not hooked up to the university wifi… so of course the first thing I do is pull up tumblr. And I’m looking at all the anal-only porn I follow, all the orgasm denial porn, all the bondage and kinky shit… and I can feel my panties soaking through already. It’s 9am.

Around 11am, I’ve taken a break from looking at porn to writing it instead. I’ve got a little smut I’m writing for myself, and it’s making me ridiculously horny. I decide something needs to be done. I text my fuckbuddy who works on campus too. He’s cute and pretty well hung but doesn’t really do D/s so not a candidate for long-term companionship.

“Hey, do you want to come down to my lab and fuck my ass? Don’t let me cum, no matter how much I beg”

“Uh, fuck yeah. Be right there.”

Five minutes later, I’m on my knees taking his cock down my throat in my office. I love sucking cock- I could do it for hours, but that’s not what he’s here for. When I decide I’m done sucking him off, I give him a good coat of lube then bend over my desk. He shoves his thick cock in my ass and wraps his hand around my throat. I’m immediately fighting not to cum, riding the edge with all I’ve got, letting him pound my ass as hard as he can. After about 20 minutes, his hand tightens around my throat when he cums. I almost lose it. I can feel his cock throbbing in my ass, filling me up with his load, and then he pulls out. I pop the buttplug back in and show him to the bathroom so he can clean off, and then he’s gone.

I spend the rest of the afternoon dripping cum from my ass and feeling my pussy just getting wetter and wetter.

When I finally get home, a friend has stopped by to say hi and let themselves into my house. I’m dying to masturbate, but I know this is for the best. I’d just let myself cum, and I don’t want that. I haven’t decided what my punishment will be if I let myself cum before 30 days, but I know it won’t be good.

Finally, at midnight, my friend has left, and I’ve got the house to myself. The moment the door shuts behind them, I’m running to my bedroom to masturbate. I pull out clothes pins, my favorite 9in dildo, some oral anesthetic cream, my magic wand, and lube. Clothes pins firmly on my nipples (and pinching nicely against my piercings), I start to run the oral anesthetic cream on my clit. I’ve never really used it for this before, so I use just a little bit and rub it in really well. Within seconds, I can’t feel my finger on my clit anymore. I give it a good flick, and nothing. A hard smack? Still nothing. AWESOME.

I lay on my back and plunge the lubed-up dildo into my ass. It’s SO much bigger than the plug, but it feels like heaven as it stretches me out. I start working away, fucking myself HARD when I decide it’s time to up the ante. I switch the magic wand on and press it against my numb clit. I can feel it vibrate around my clit and on my labia, but it’s like someone is holding a pillow up against it. I crank it up to full blast (this can normally make me cum in SECONDS) and still feel nothing. Laughing, I keep fucking my ass with the dildo and pressing the wand up against me. I know if I hadn’t numbed my clit I’d be cumming like a freight train right now. I can feel the edge building up, but it just can’t go any farther. I fuck harder, I rub the magic wand against my clit in the way I know would normally set me over the edge… and I back off.

I breathe for a few minutes, let my heart rate get back to normal… then another coat of lube on the dildo and I’m back in the saddle. I edge again, and again, each time more painfully aware of how close the orgasm feels and how impossible it is to reach it.

As I’m catching my breath from my last edge, my phone buzzes. It’s 12:30, but there’s a text from my fuckbuddy. He’s near my apartment complex and wants to know if I want another round?

Fuck yes I do. I’m exhausted and sore but my pussy is still dripping wet. I rinse off real quick and reapply the oral anesthetic. Right as I’m laying back down in bed to wait for him, he walks into my bedroom. Immediately I’m ass-up and face-down, enticing him into my bed. Like a flash, his pants are off, he’s lubed up, and his hard dick is plunging into me again. His hands are all over me, squeezing my nipples hard and pulling on the piercings there. Then one is on my throat again while one rubs my clit. Feeling another edge and knowing I can’t cum, I gasp out that I used numbing cream. He pinches my clit hard. When I feel nothing, he flips me over from doggy into a sort of modified missionary, slapping my clit hard while he fucks my ass. He pulls on the piercing, flicks it, but I don’t feel anything. Usually any of these things would make me cum immediately, but right now they’re just making the edge hold longer and longer while he fucks my ass even harder. He plunges his fingers into my sopping wet pussy and then puts them in my mouth, telling me to suck it off. As I wrap my lips around his fingers and taste my desperation on them, he groans and fills my ass with his hot cum for the second time today.

He pulls out and I feel his cum dripping out of me. Roughly flipping me over onto my belly and lifting my ass, he grabs the plug from the nightstand, lubes it up, and sticks it back in my ass for me.

“Whatever you’re doing with this anal and anesthetic cream, it’s making you an insatiable sex-fiend… Let me know if you want to go again tomorrow.”

Writing this, I can feel my wet swollen pussy throb with need even as my clit is on fire from the abuse it took… My ass feels so well-used and sore, but I know it’ll be taking a beating again tomorrow one way or another.

Here’s to Day 1 of my personal Orgasm Denial Challenge.

Anonymous: I’m interested. Problem is I don’t have any toys, and no boyfriend. What should i use as a makeshift dildo for now?

Start with just your fingers. Add some lube, massage around your anus with a finger, rubbing across it and around it in circles, let yourself get into it and relax. As it starts to want to open up a bit more, slide one of your fingers inside and move it in and out a bit. Keep adding another finger as you feel yourself relaxing further and wanting more. If something hurts, go back down in size again. It might take multiple play sessions to go up in size. Listen to your body and go at a pace that works for you. Once you can fit three or four fingers with relative ease, then you would be ready for something more.

A cucumber and similar vegetables can make for a reasonable makeshift dildo if you don’t have anything better available. Wash it and make sure it doesn’t have any sharp points on it before trying, and if you have a condom available, try putting that over it as well. Some make do with small bottles as well. But real dildos and butt plugs are best, as they’re designed to go in your ass, so I would recommend getting some.

Good luck!

anal-princess-plugged: I’ve been trying to get into regular anal sex and wearing a plug as often as possible since last November. Despite all the training I’ve done, I still get digestive issues (constipation, gas, bloating) and have to stop anal play for a while before I can comfortably get back into it. I really want to be able to always do anal and wear my plug most of the time. Any advice for helping my body adjust to regular anal sex?

I’d say to keep an eye out on whether there are any dietary factors that may effect your digestion in those ways more than others and adjust as needed to try and optimize things. A generally balanced diet with a healthy amount of dietary fiber is a good baseline for anal usually, though some may need to adjust further if they have any particular food intolerances, etc. that can cause increased gas or bloating.

You may also want to try some different types of lube—some lube can cause different reactions in different people, and if you’ve primarily stuck to a particular type, trying a few different ones might be a good idea.

Beyond that, I’d suggest not starting with the goal of plugging as often as possible right away. Instead, try it for a smaller period of time each day—maybe an hour a day for the first week?—and if you’re comfortable with that, bump it up a bit, and keep going from there. If you find a point where it starts getting uncomfortable to maintain, try sticking with a shorter length of time per day for a bit longer or split it up across the day a bit more before trying again. Your body needs time to adjust to the new change and suddenly being plugged all the time can cause things to get a bit out of whack and cause discomfort, etc.

Hope that helps a little bit or gives you some ideas to try and that with time you’ll be able to plug and have anal sex regularly!

Anonymous: I’ve been training for anal for a few weeks now and my butt plugs feel nice but then when my daddy fingers my ass it kinda hurts and doesn’t feel as good is it something we’re not doing right ?

Some people just don’t like how a finger feels even if plugs and dildos and cocks feel great. I’m not sure what the cause is. Some things to consider: are his fingers freshly cleaned and free of any sweat that could cause stinging or irritation? Are his fingernails trimmed and filed to avoid any sharp edges? Does he have any calluses that could cause irritation? Is he using enough lube?

Anonymous: So I LOOOVE my buttplugs, and recently I got a set of metal jewel plugs. But my ass is quite bubbly and it (for lack of a better term) swallows the plugs, and hurts after a while. Would silicone ones hurt less, or should I just give up on the pretty ones and stick to the “trainer” ones?

It’s not uncommon for many of the jeweled ones to become uncomfortable after a while simply due to the shape of the base and the fact that the edges can press uncomfortably. Even if this happens, they still can have a place, and can be worn for certain times and occasions, but if you’re looking for a comfortable plug to wear for longer periods of time, I would really suggest something with more of an ergonomic base, whether that be a well-shaped T-base or something like an Njoy with a loop-style base.

For more details on anal only training and all things relating to anal and the anal only lifestyle, visit our Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page!

Anonymous: I’ve been training my ass for a while now and yesterday I took up a larger toy and i got so horny because i arrived to this level while a couple months ago I couldn’t even put my finger. I’m trying to go anal only and havent touched my pussy for a week and doing anal play only and it’s dripping wet i can feel the wetness on my thighs all day long, sometimes I add clothespins on my labia for more exquisite torture, do you have a task for me to extend AO training ? Ps : i love your blog

First of all, congratulations on moving to a larger toy and on trying to go anal only! Obviously, I encourage and approve of such things, and hope that you continue to stick with anal only long-term!

It sounds like you’re trying to go anal only on your own, rather than with a partner. There’s nothing at all wrong with that, and when it comes to initial anal training I actually often suggest exploring it on your own first so you get to know about it on your own terms and in the future can go into it with less uncertainty and more confidence when you try it with a partner. For some people, it can also be more challenging, because with the anal only aspect, you don’t have any accountability except to yourself, and it can feel easier to give up when it gets hard, which in turn can feel like a failure if you “give in” to old urges.

But if that happens, you shouldn’t see it as a failure, you should see it as a natural part of the process of switching your urges to anal instead of vaginal. It doesn’t happen overnight if you already very much enjoy and have primarily stimulated yourself vaginally or clitorally until now. Definitely keep trying to push your limits and go as long as you can, but if you can’t take it anymore and end up masturbating vaginally or clitorally again, just dive back in after and try again. Each time around see if you can go longer than the time before!

To answer your question more directly, however, what I generally recommend for people struggling with going anal only in their solo play and wanting to avoid touching their pussy is: Any time you feel the urge to touch your pussy, rub and finger or use a toy in your ass instead. The hornier you get, the more enthusiastically you play with your ass. Take all that arousal coming from your pussy and clit and redirect it to your ass. In time, that arousal will start naturally shifting to your ass instead. If your clit is a big distraction to you and makes it too hard to resist, try some anesthetic cream like Orajel on your clit to numb it temporarily while you masturbate.

And finally, if you find that the clitoral denial aspect of anal only is too much for you, always remember that you can be anal only without giving up your clit. Most anal only women only engage in anal penetration during masturbation and sex but still combine clitoral stimulation with anal as needed. Some edge clitorally, some orgasm clitorally. Others get all they need from their ass. Experiment with all the options, but ultimately what’s best for you is something that you’ll need to figure out for yourself.

Enjoy!