Jadou: I am a vaginal virgin and I wish to remain so. I have been training for several months alone and I have found a man since June with whom I only do anal. I like it a lot but the problem is that in order to cum I need to touch my clit. And when I do that, the urge to be penetrated by the vagina is strong. how can I stop having this rather frustrating urge which prevents me from fully appreciating my man? Sometimes i wish i didn’t have a vagina at all….

Congratulations on the decision to remain a vaginal virgin and on finding a partner to explore anal only together with!

Clit stimulation can come with a lot of unfortunate side effects, and that urge and association with vaginal penetration can be one of them for some women. I would suggest gradually reducing or phasing out clit stimulation at least for a while and see if you can instead learn to orgasm purely from anal penetration, which is not only a better orgasm for many women, it doesn’t typically have those same associations or side effects of clit orgasms.

It could also help to put tape over your vagina, or use a numbing cream like orajel to reduce sensation and urges for clit stimulation or vaginal penetration, at least while first working to move away from those urges.

It also can help just to get deeper into the mindset of being anal only and a vaginal virgin and your strong desire to remain as such and how you’d regret it if you gave into those urges. Try to remind yourself of that when you feel the urges, and also when you aren’t feeling the urges it can help to repeat to yourself how much you love being an anal only vaginal virgin and don’t want to have vaginal sex. Consciously you already know this, but it can help your subconscious with the urges.

Hope that this helps you, and please let us know how it goes!

My wife and I seemed to just gravitate toward no vaginal penetration, but she still used clitoral stimulation. When I proposed we try anal only, without clit stimulation, she was skeptical. Within a couple of weeks, she was having the best orgasms of her life. Now, she agrees anal sex, without the distraction of vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation makes anal sex so much more intense and results in better orgasms. With clitoral stimulation, she used to build up to orgasm quickly, then have her orgasm, and crash. Now, she has long, intense, orgasms. What’s more, she doesn’t have the crash afterward and remains more stimulated, resulting in her wanting sex more often.

LuvMyWifesAss, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

We’re getting closer to the best time of the year again—after eight years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.

If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.

If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!

• If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
• If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
• You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
• You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.

Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re introducing an official advanced challenge this year: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.

What are your plans? Let us know!

Krista: From reading your blog I decided to try and have anal orgasms by not using my clit and to my surprise they started to come easily for me once I stopped. It only took me a few times before they started, and they are already my favorite. I have lost interest in my clit because of them and wanted to say thank you!

You’re welcome, thanks for sharing. Everyone has different experiences, but in general, clit denial as a means of achieving anal orgasms is a great option, because clit stimulation tends to be an easier form of reaching orgasm at first, and so it can overpower the more subtle sensations and stimulations needed through anal to achieve pure anal orgasms. I encourage it for everyone to at least try!

It’s nearly the best time of the year again—after eight years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.

If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.

If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!

• If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
• If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
• You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
• You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.

Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re introducing an official advanced challenge this year: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.

What are your plans? Let us know!

Hey! I’m new here. Me and my boyfriend have made the transition to anal only 9 days ago and we are loving it! The pleasure is so intense all the time.

Unfortunately, I am usually unable to cum from our sessions. Of the 13 times we’ve had anal sex since then I’ve only reached orgasm 3 times. Don’t get me wrong it’s still super pleasurable but I can’t climax.

I was looking for some place to ask and found this forum. So I hope you can help me and my boyfriend.

Is there any way to train myself to cum from anal every time? I’m open with going non anal only for the training as long as I end up being anal only. Thanks!

SluttyJanet, Anal Only Lifestyle

One of several good responses:

Hi, well first of all patience.

you can “train” that is to say play with your ass, with toys and others but it is not necessary if you have regular sex with your boyfriend using your ass.

If you touch your clitoris during anal sex you will reach cum relatively quickly but I imagine you want an anal orgasm, without pussy / clit, this is very intense but you must have patience, your body must adapt to anal first.
What they advised me was to use the missionary but anal poses, or lying down with my butt slightly raised with a pillow or ride and play with your waist, it works even though I like other positions too but it can be useful to start. xD

it takes a month and a half (approximately) going anal only, to have orgasms, I think it is on the mental side, focusing all your pleasure and sensations on your butt and that takes some time, but it is something more personal, each girl will have her time I imagine, but what I am trying to say is that it is not so simple.

I will give you a tip that can be useful to you, forget this, I mean, at the beginning I was like you, with that orgasm in my mind but I had to really forget it and just enjoy, let go and that climax would come. Probably there will come a moment of sex, where you will feel that you can no longer, but continue and break that barrier, then when you think that you can no longer, and that climax will come.

julietagc, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading this and other answers to this question on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Steven: I wrote to you last June about my girlfriend who was hesitating between having a vaginoplasty (and finally having a 100% female body) and keeping her current genitals (because I’m anal only and so is she, so she wouldn’t use her new vagina and clit anyway).

I was checking out your site to get to your porn blog (which I love) and I saw your encouragement to share stories, so I thought I’d give you some news.

Shortly after reading your answer last June, I realized my hesitation to give my opinion to my girl came from the fact I was “just” her boyfriend, so I didn’t feel entitled to have such influence on her body. Therefore, I took a big decision: I programmed a special day that’d be perfect for her, and in the evening, I told her that I couldn’t answer her question as her boyfriend but would as her husband. Then I kneeled, offered her a ring, and asked her for marriage.

I don’t think I ever saw someone happier in my life, which was quite flattering, I think we all underestimate the fear of MtF people to be “good enough” to be girlfriends but not wives. After some good time together, I finally told her what I told you: that I was anal only, wasn’t interested at all in what was on her front, and would rather have her stay the way she was, except if she could get a purely decorative pussy which would make more sense than a full vaginoplasty (it’d also be cheaper and less risky for her health).

She actually agreed with me, and we started to make researches to check out our options. To our surprise, it turns out our desire is a common one: apparently, 15% of sex change operations are vulvoplasty and not vaginoplasty, meaning the cock and balls are removed and replaced by a vulva, but there is no vaginal cavity whatsoever, meaning only anal and oral penetration are possible. Here are some links for people interested:

https://www.mtfsurgery.net/vulvoplasty.htm

https://www.issm.info/news/research-summaries/why-do-transgender-women-choose-vulvoplasty/

https://www.grsmontreal.com/en/surgeries/male-to-female/2-vaginoplasty-without-vaginal-cavity.html

Notice they openly mention among reasons for getting a vulvoplasty and not vaginoplasty: “not interested in receiving penetrative vaginal sex”, meaning vaginal penetration is losing appeal, especially among people used to anal sex. When it’s also cheaper and less risky, then it’s a no-brainer: why bother with a vagina?

We actually went to an appointment at a clinic doing such thing, and it went extremely well. We wanted a pussy with a “closed” look, looking like a virgin pussy which would contrast nicely with her obviously trained and well-used asshole, and they showed us pictures that look just perfect. It’s apparently a pretty simple and short procedure, with not too much time to heal. We also asked if it was possible NOT to create a clitoris: that didn’t seem to surprise the person we were talking to, she simply warned us that there was no going back, to which my fiancee replied that to her, a clitoris was simply a mini penis, and she wanted it entirely removed because she never used nor cared for it. It’s actually even cheaper!

To my surprise, I learned they can do this procedure to people who are 100% male (my fiancee is completely female and feminine, except for her junk).

The operation is actually planned, and we will marry each other right after that. My fiancee always dreamed of a stereotypical marriage, so we decided that after the operation, she would recover at her sister’s, and we wouldn’t see each other before marriage. It’ll be hard to wait a few weeks with no sex after being used to everyday anal sex, but that’ll make the moment and our honeymoon more intense and magical, especially discovering her new, entirely female body as husband and wife. Frankly, I get hard just thinking about it: a completely female and feminine wife with no vagina hole and no clitoris, with a purely decorative pussy like the ones you talk about in your porn blog, only able to receive anal and oral fucking for the rest of her life… that’s like she turned into a magical fairy or something. I feel so damn lucky.

Anyway, thanks for all your work and for your reply!

Thank you for following up, and congratulations on getting engaged and coming up with a mutually agreeable solution for everyone! It sounds like you’ve gotten it completely figured out, and it’s wonderful that she’ll be able to feel comfortable in her body while at the same time acknowledging that vaginal sex is something that neither of you are ever interested in having when you already have the perfect anal only life together.

Honestly, it makes the most sense and it’s good to see that vulvaplasty is becoming increasingly common. In time, I would hope that it becomes the norm rather than vaginaplasty for any transwoman interested in having a vulva rather than a penis, but uninterested in vaginal sex and wanting to stay anal only.

Good luck to the both of you, I hope you’ll continue to keep us updated on how things work out!

This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

ripebabylady: What’s your opinion on Pussy denial? Do you think it’s important in an anal only relatioship?

I think that it’s dependent on each person’s individual interpretation of anal only.

For some, anal only primarily means no vaginal sex, and mixing some external vaginal or clitoral stimulation, or even fingering or use of a toy vaginally, is okay so long as they don’t have vaginal intercourse. That’s the fundamental defining element of being anal only, so as far as I’m concerned, people can call themselves anal only if that’s the case.

For others, they want to have nothing to do with their pussy or clit, and only think it’s acceptable if they deny it completely. This is also anal only, but more advanced and with more options. It’s what works better for some people.

Ultimately, it’s up to each person to decide what works best for them within the framework of anal only!

Anonymous: Hi, do you know any vaginal chastity products, or like some tapes to cover your front part. I tried to deny my pussy and also clit but it’s difficult to.

Vaginal chastity is a great option to learn to resist your pussy and clit when you’re trying to go anal only! There’s actually a section in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle focused on this topic with an overview of the various options: The Use of Chastity Devices in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Good luck, and I hope that helps provide you with the information that you’re looking for!

A question that comes up from time to time is whether or not you should include clit stimulation or other external stimulation of the vulva like cunnilingus or the use of a vibrator in your sex life if you’re anal only.

Most fundamentally, the anal only lifestyle is about the exclusion of vaginal sex and the adoption of anal sex to fully replace it. If you do that, you can consider yourself anal only.

Clit denial and denial of all vaginal stimulation, internal or external, can also be consistent with the anal only lifestyle, and can provide additional benefits for those who want to adopt those restrictions, but isn’t explicitly necessary to be anal only.

If you need or want clit stimulation or cunnilingus in order to enjoy anal sex or to be anal only long-term, don’t feel that you have to stop them in order to call yourself anal only.

If, however, you notice some of the negative effects that can come from clit stimulation, such as loss of arousal or mood swings, or want to focus on purely anal pleasure and orgasms, then it’s also perfectly reasonable to try going without and only relying on anal stimulation.

It’s a personal choice. Neither is right or wrong. Enjoy what works best for you.