Lea: I’m a 19-year-old female in a relationship for a year. Very early on, I learned that anal was THE thing for my man. I was an anal virgin, he was very patient with me, and I learned to appreciate it. At first it was like once a fortnight, then once every week, then 2 to 3 times a week… For like 6 months, anal became the de facto penetration for us with occasional vaginal intercourse once every fortnight.

Since January, we only do anal, and I try to not even use my clit, but I still haven’t had a single anal orgasm… This is getting frustrating.

We are considering buying a sex machine for me to help me achieve an orgasm. Is that a good strategy or is there a better way to get to that goal?

I’m very glad to hear that anal quickly became your norm and that you’ve been anal only so far this year. It’s well worth the commitment, clit denial doubly so, even though it can be frustrating at first as you learn to adjust.

Anal orgasms can be tricky because everyone orgasms a bit differently, and so what works for one person may not for others. For some people, the best approach is to simply stop vaginal/clitoral stimulation altogether and learn to adapt to anal stimulation. This can take multiple months but can work.

For others, what tends to work best is to stop vaginal penetration but still include some clitoral stimulation alongside the anal penetration, almost edging with your clit but then trying to get over the edge with the anal penetration. This further associates anal penetration with pleasure and orgasm and then gradually you can use your clit less and less as your ass takes up more and more of the role of orgasm trigger.

I encourage continuing with anal only and exploring ways to achieve anal orgasm, and if you find that you need to just use your clit occasionally at first to orgasm during anal rather than giving up anal only altogether, that is a better compromise than giving up anal only and going back to vaginal penetration.

A machine may help, but with practice and patience you should be able to get to anal orgasm with your boyfriend without needing a machine.

Zack: I have a serious question. You said in your blog that there’s a lot of advantages of women keeping their virginity by never having vaginal sex. However, would you recommend to women to never have vaginal sex until the day they die? Or should they loose their vaginal virginity someday? Also are there any advantages to staying a virgin from a woman’s perspective? Thanks

Advantages to remaining a vaginal virgin for life include:

• The pride in being purely anal only and never even once wasting time on vaginal sex, which can be appealing both for women and for their male partners.
• The focused pleasure and arousal through only ever experiencing anal penetration without the distraction of vaginal stimulation. Those who commit to pure anal only often experience much more pleasure from it long-term.
• Ensuring consistent birth control and avoiding unwanted pregnancy by never having vaginal sex. When and if children are wanted, women can get pregnant by their partner ejaculating into their rectum and then pushing out the semen while holding open the vagina. While this can take longer to achieve the same goal, it is possible and does work. Alternatively, the partner can pull out and press against the vagina without penetrating to ejaculate inside.

Ultimately it’s up to each person what they want to achieve, but generally if someone commits to the anal only lifestyle before doing vaginal, it’s rare that they want to try vaginal. If they do, it tends to just push them back to pure anal, so why waste the time and lose the beauty of pure vaginal virginity?

Monique: Recently I’ve been exploring my sexuality and I’ve discovered that I’m highly interested in anal stimulation. I know this might sound surprising, considering I’ve never had any kind of sexual intercourse, vaginal or anal, and I’ve only engaged in self-pleasure through anal stimulation with my fingers and toys never with another person.

My curiosity about anal arose when some of my female friends discussed having anal sex with their boyfriends as a way to remain virgins and avoid unwanted pregnancies. I was secretly fascinated by the idea, but more importantly, I discovered that when I explored myself, I genuinely enjoyed and preferred anal stimulation to vaginal. It’s a sensation that feels uniquely satisfying to me and since then I’ve abandoned any vaginal play.

I’m writing to ask if I might be part of the “Anal Only” community, even though I’ve never had any anal intercourse with another person. I hope you can help me make sense of my own desires and preferences. Am I part of this community, or is there a more appropriate term or category that fits my situation?

You absolutely are anal only! You haven’t had sex, but you choose to focus all your sexual stimulation/masturbation on anal only and that certainly counts. Consider yourself a proud member of the community and lifestyle.

I hope that when/if you choose to have sex with a partner in the future, you continue your anal only commitment.

AnalOnlyMom: When my daughter first shared her decision to engage the Anal Only lifestyle while choosing to remain a vaginal virgin, my initial reaction was a mix of concern and curiosity. As a mother, my instinct is always to protect and guide, but I’ve learned that supporting her means respecting her autonomy and choices, even if they are different from what I might have expected or chosen for myself. She’s an adult now, and I admire her confidence in making a choice that aligns with her personal values and desires.

As I listened to her explain her decision, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own experiences and choices. I realized that her decision had sparked a curiosity in me—one I hadn’t anticipated. I found myself wondering about the motivations behind her choice and the experiences she might be having. It wasn’t just about the specifics of her sexual activities but also about the underlying reasons and feelings she had.

Her choice led me to think about my own perceptions and experiences with sexuality. I started to explore the idea of what it would mean for me to consider something similar. Not that I’m planning to make any drastic changes in my life, but her choice made me more introspective about my own desires and boundaries. It’s fascinating how learning about someone else’s journey can prompt a deeper exploration of our own.

Supporting my daughter has also opened up a space for us to have more honest and open conversations about sex and intimacy. We talk about her experiences and the reasons behind her choices, and through these conversations, I’ve come to appreciate her decision even more. It’s helped me realize that being open to new ideas and perspectives, even those that challenge my own, can lead to a greater understanding of both my daughter and myself.

Thanks for sharing! I think it’s great that you were able to reflect and get inspired to consider anal only in your own life based on her decision and explanation. You say you aren’t planning to make drastic changes but also that you’re considering AO for yourself. I highly encourage embracing anal only and making the transition as soon as you can—at least to try it at first, before committing long term if you enjoy it! Is there anything holding you back?

Tim: I am a 30 something man and I have met a woman in her 70s, we have been enjoying each others company a lot and I asked her if she would like to make love. She said yes and was very forward about how she prefers to primarily have anal sex, she is the first woman I’ve ever encountered like this.

All the advice I have read online about anal sex is targeted towards much younger women, what considerations are there for having anal sex with a woman her age?

Congratulations on meeting an anal only woman who is very clear and up front about her preference and intention. Generally the same advice will apply, but since she knows what she likes and wants and prefers, I would also encourage checking with her about what she needs from you to ensure her enjoyment and safety. If she actively engages in anal sex, she probably has a good ability to relax her anus for you.

Jasmine: As a young Muslim woman from Pakistan, I grew up with the strict expectation of remaining a virgin until entering into an arranged marriage. The values instilled in me by my family and community placed a significant emphasis on maintaining my virginity as a symbol of purity and honor. However, my life took an unexpected turn when I emigrated to a western country on a student visa to study medicine. It was in this new environment, surrounded by different cultures and perspectives, that I met my roommate’s brother, who is non-Muslim. Our connection was immediate and deep, challenging many of the traditions and expectations I had grown up with. Within a few months of knowing each other we’d fallen in love.

Our first sexual experience was a significant and transformative moment for me. After much thought and consideration, I requested that we engage in anal sex to preserve my vaginal virginity, which is of supreme importance to me due to my cultural and religious beliefs. Despite my nervousness, I was also filled with excitement and curiosity. He was incredibly understanding and patient, taking exceptional care to ensure my comfort and pleasure throughout the experience. He approached our intimacy with tenderness and respect, making me feel safe and cherished. This careful and loving approach allowed me to fully embrace our relationship, marking the beginning of a profound and intimate connection.

For the past four years, he and I have maintained a secret but highly pleasurable anal-only relationship. This unique aspect of our intimacy has allowed us to explore and express our love in ways that honor my commitment to preserving my virginity. Together, we chose several intimate chastity piercings as a symbol of our commitment and a way to ensure my virginity remained intact. These piercings represent not only our love but also our shared understanding and respect for my cultural and personal boundaries. Over time, we have ventured into various other sexual activities, such as ass to mouth, golden showers, and the regular daily wearing of a butt plug. Each of these experiences has been deeply fulfilling, enhancing our bond and strengthening our intimacy in ways I had never imagined possible.

Throughout our relationship, I have come to realize that I never want to have vaginal sex, a sentiment that he shares. Our mutual respect for each other’s desires and boundaries has created a deeply fulfilling and loving partnership. His unwavering support and understanding have made me feel valued and respected, reinforcing my decision to preserve my virginity while still experiencing profound intimacy. As I near the completion of my studies, my hope is to stay here and marry him, embracing our unique love story and the deep connection we share. Our relationship has not only defied cultural norms but has also strengthened my sense of self and my ability to navigate the complexities of love and tradition.

I will always be proud to be an Anal Only vaginal virgin.

So wonderful to hear that you were able to find a partner who supported your desire to preserve your vaginal virginity and focus on anal only, and has celebrates your commitment with piercings and more! It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship and sex life and I wholeheartedly support your decision to never have vaginal sex and stay an anal only vaginal virgin for life!

How do you handle clitoral stimulation along with your anal only life? Is it something you include or do you keep it off limits as well?

Do you see yourself adopting any additional activities beyond ass to mouth, piss play and butt plugging as you continue to progress in your anal only lifestyle?

Linda: I’ve been Anal Only for seven years now and Double Anal Only for just over one year, with occasional triple anal.

I’ve been an advocate for the AO lifestyle and successfully encouraged many other women and girls to become Anal Only and beyond.

One of my close friends, who is on her own AO journey, has a daughter who has asked me a lot about anal sex and being Anal Only as a woman. She’s still a virgin in every sense and is aware of the special status of vaginal virgins in our lifestyle and community.

One of the questions she has asked me, that I didn’t have an answer for, is it possible to perform artificial insemination on a vaginal virgin so they can get pregnant without vaginal penetration?

Good to hear from you again! It’s great that you’re still double anal only and advocating anal only (and hopefully double anal only!) to others, as well as helping to preserve vaginal virginity as much as possible!

It certainly is possible to achieve pregnancy without vaginal penetration, and there are a few options, ranging from full on IVF, pulling out and holding the penis at the entrance of the vagina to ejaculate inside, ejaculating into the rectum and holding the vagina open while pushing out the ejaculate, using something like a turkey baster to transfer ejaculate from the rectum to the vagina, etc. More information can be found on our Guide to Anal Only Pregnancy.

Hope to hear more from you soon!

Anal Slut: I’ve been reading your blog for many years, often while rubbing my clit. I’m in my late 20’s now but since I was younger I always loved anal and originally only had anal sex in lieu of vaginal for birth control reasons (long before I knew there was a community here).

It is now many years later and my girlfriend and I are experimenting with more and more anal (for both of us), previously we have always used clit stimulation and she loves making sure I orgasm which I obviously appreciate. However I have recently gotten obsessed again with anal and have started excluding all clitoral stimulation along with all vaginal other than cleaning.

I love the feeling of being so horny and I feel it is helping me feel arousal in my ass more than my pussy. I’m horny all the time compared to previously also. I love being a needy anal slut and I feel like my ass was made to be filled. I have fantasies of buttplug training until I have my ass filled 20+ hours a day. It is addictive and I cannot get enough.

I guess I just wanted to endorse clit denial for anyone who knows they really like anal but goes through phases, I think clit orgasms were killing my arousal like for literal weeks so I was never getting to the really good part of anal where your ass is trained and ready to go.

However I didn’t plan to do this long term, literally I thought I’d hate ignoring my clit and want to stop so I decided to see how long I could go after reading something in the archives here, but I expected it to be a few days max.

I’m worried what my girlfriend will think about my decision to continue this, even though I know I will have proper anal orgasms again – I have before many times- but always mixed somewhat with clit, either to be foreplay for anal penetration, edging me a bit so I can cum with something in my ass or getting my pussy eaten while getting my ass fingered.

Open to suggestions on sticking with clit denial long term, I love it but I have also woken up during the night rubbing my clit and I want to stop doing that.

Also open to suggestions on depraved anal toys, I’m very interested in larger girth toys as I am in lesbian relationship, I’m not worried about not being tight or anything. I have finally decided to upgrade from the jeweled butt plugs and have ordered silicone oval base ones and I’m hoping to start plugging overnight again.

Lastly just wanna say, I love this blog, please keep posting here!

Glad to hear that you’re embracing not only anal only but clit denial as well, and I highly encourage sticking with it for the same reasons that you’re discovering! Clit stimulation can be useful for transitioning to anal only, or for those who wouldn’t stay anal only otherwise, but for everyone else I completely encourage avoiding it entirely and focusing on anal pleasure.

I doubt your girlfriend will be bothered and will likely find it very enjoyable as well if clit denial is what you prefer and enjoy and just want anal orgasms from now on. As she gets on board with it, that will also help you to stick with it, especially if you ask her to help you stay focused on clit denial.

Numbing gels, tape, and other mild forms of chastity can help with avoiding it as you further adjust to long term clit denial! For more information and suggestions on sticking with clit denial, check out the page on our Guide about Clit Denial.

Claire: Hello, I have a question for you, but first I have to explain my background.

I met my first boyfriend nearly five years ago in college. I had a crush on him, he felt it, and dated me for a very long time. At first, I thought it was sweet of him to take so long before making a sexual move, but then I became worried that he wouldn’t be that much into me. I told him about it, then he looked very serious, and announced he had something important to tell me.

I imagined all sorts of stuff, and then he said he really loved me and wanted to start a relationship with me, but he only enjoyed anal sex, and not only that, but he didn’t want his partner to have any sort of genital stimulation of any kind at all, ever. He knew I was a virgin (I’m younger than him), and he promised that if I was OK with this, he would use his experience to be very caring and careful that I enjoyed it too.

I was very surprised, but mostly felt relief because I expected horrible things that would cancel our relationship. I thought I could try anal sex, and if it didn’t go well, we could always break up. Besides, I didn’t know anything about contraception, so it was something less to care about.

It went very well: he first taught me how to do blowjobs and how to clean up my ass, and he stimulated me more and more slowly so that I was comfortable when he finally took me. It didn’t hurt at all and I enjoyed it right away. It lasted about two years, then he asked if I wanted to move to his apartment, I did, and we stayed together two more years and a half.

When I moved in, our sex frequency heightened up dramatically and I had trouble following that, I told him about it and expected him to slow down, but instead he gifted me a butt plug, asking me to try to wear it as often as possible: it was supposed to make it easier for me to take his cock more frequently and to increase my pleasure. I was doubtful about it but did it anyway, and he was right, things went really well.

The next logical step was to get engaged and I know it was his intention, then his job required him to move to another city, but I still had to stay for my studies. He tried to get me to move with him, but I thought it was an opportunity to gather my own experience: he was the only man I ever knew, and I wanted to build my own journey for a while before getting married. He was sad about it but understood my point of view, and we’re still planning to get back together later.

So, now, my question is: how do you people meet? I didn’t realize it right away because it had become so natural to me, but most people don’t do exclusive anal sex, and I have no intention of changing this aspect of my sexuality.

Thanks for the question and for sharing your story! It sounds like you had a great introduction to anal only and I don’t blame you for not wanting to stop being anal only.

As for meeting people, it’s rare to find a central place that works reliably for finding a partner based on sexual preferences. Date like you normally would but it feels natural for sex to come up as a topic, be up front from the start, and accept that maybe not everyone will be into it but there will be many more guys who love the idea.

For more information, check out the section in our guide on Anal Only Dating!

Mary: Hi there. Thank you so much for allowing me to ask this question. My name is Mary, I’m 23 and happily married as of two years ago (some would say I’m married too young lol).

When my now husband and I were 18, we were lustful and Catholic. So we had anal as a “technicality”. It kinda hurt the first time but eventually it got very pleasurable and we had it all the time. I lost my vaginal virginity on my wedding night and it was good as well. But it wasn’t what my brain was used to if that makes sense.

Anyhow, to make a long story short, we did find out Catholicism prohibits anal even in marriage. Which we didn’t know at the time. We also know some priests think it’s okay but not enough to make it mainstream. If we take our faith seriously, should we continue to have anal or no? Should we give it up entirely?

[Side question, is it normal that I feel incredibly tingly in my feet and toes when o have anal but not vaginal? According to my husband I have to wiggle them so much when we finish.]

Hi Mary, thanks for reaching out! I’m glad to hear that you started out anal only and still love it far more than vaginal. While I am not religious and you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourselves what is right for you, I would strongly encourage you to not only continue enjoying anal sex but to go anal only.

If anal sex was wrong, why would your bodies be designed to so perfectly enjoy it even more than vaginal sex? Surely a creator would want you to enjoy your bodies the way you most enjoy them, and a smart creator would make one hole for getting pregnant and another just for sharing pleasure with your partner. Anal provides that beautiful pleasurable intimacy without risk of pregnancy, and the anal only lifestyle is the perfect natural birth control.

And yes, it is normal to feel so much more pleasure from anal than vaginal. Most women get far more pleasure from anal, and that’s just one more reason I believe the anal only lifestyle is the right thing for everyone.