Claire: Hello, I have a question for you, but first I have to explain my background.

I met my first boyfriend nearly five years ago in college. I had a crush on him, he felt it, and dated me for a very long time. At first, I thought it was sweet of him to take so long before making a sexual move, but then I became worried that he wouldn’t be that much into me. I told him about it, then he looked very serious, and announced he had something important to tell me.

I imagined all sorts of stuff, and then he said he really loved me and wanted to start a relationship with me, but he only enjoyed anal sex, and not only that, but he didn’t want his partner to have any sort of genital stimulation of any kind at all, ever. He knew I was a virgin (I’m younger than him), and he promised that if I was OK with this, he would use his experience to be very caring and careful that I enjoyed it too.

I was very surprised, but mostly felt relief because I expected horrible things that would cancel our relationship. I thought I could try anal sex, and if it didn’t go well, we could always break up. Besides, I didn’t know anything about contraception, so it was something less to care about.

It went very well: he first taught me how to do blowjobs and how to clean up my ass, and he stimulated me more and more slowly so that I was comfortable when he finally took me. It didn’t hurt at all and I enjoyed it right away. It lasted about two years, then he asked if I wanted to move to his apartment, I did, and we stayed together two more years and a half.

When I moved in, our sex frequency heightened up dramatically and I had trouble following that, I told him about it and expected him to slow down, but instead he gifted me a butt plug, asking me to try to wear it as often as possible: it was supposed to make it easier for me to take his cock more frequently and to increase my pleasure. I was doubtful about it but did it anyway, and he was right, things went really well.

The next logical step was to get engaged and I know it was his intention, then his job required him to move to another city, but I still had to stay for my studies. He tried to get me to move with him, but I thought it was an opportunity to gather my own experience: he was the only man I ever knew, and I wanted to build my own journey for a while before getting married. He was sad about it but understood my point of view, and we’re still planning to get back together later.

So, now, my question is: how do you people meet? I didn’t realize it right away because it had become so natural to me, but most people don’t do exclusive anal sex, and I have no intention of changing this aspect of my sexuality.

Thanks for the question and for sharing your story! It sounds like you had a great introduction to anal only and I don’t blame you for not wanting to stop being anal only.

As for meeting people, it’s rare to find a central place that works reliably for finding a partner based on sexual preferences. Date like you normally would but it feels natural for sex to come up as a topic, be up front from the start, and accept that maybe not everyone will be into it but there will be many more guys who love the idea.

For more information, check out the section in our guide on Anal Only Dating!

Mary: Hi there. Thank you so much for allowing me to ask this question. My name is Mary, I’m 23 and happily married as of two years ago (some would say I’m married too young lol).

When my now husband and I were 18, we were lustful and Catholic. So we had anal as a “technicality”. It kinda hurt the first time but eventually it got very pleasurable and we had it all the time. I lost my vaginal virginity on my wedding night and it was good as well. But it wasn’t what my brain was used to if that makes sense.

Anyhow, to make a long story short, we did find out Catholicism prohibits anal even in marriage. Which we didn’t know at the time. We also know some priests think it’s okay but not enough to make it mainstream. If we take our faith seriously, should we continue to have anal or no? Should we give it up entirely?

[Side question, is it normal that I feel incredibly tingly in my feet and toes when o have anal but not vaginal? According to my husband I have to wiggle them so much when we finish.]

Hi Mary, thanks for reaching out! I’m glad to hear that you started out anal only and still love it far more than vaginal. While I am not religious and you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourselves what is right for you, I would strongly encourage you to not only continue enjoying anal sex but to go anal only.

If anal sex was wrong, why would your bodies be designed to so perfectly enjoy it even more than vaginal sex? Surely a creator would want you to enjoy your bodies the way you most enjoy them, and a smart creator would make one hole for getting pregnant and another just for sharing pleasure with your partner. Anal provides that beautiful pleasurable intimacy without risk of pregnancy, and the anal only lifestyle is the perfect natural birth control.

And yes, it is normal to feel so much more pleasure from anal than vaginal. Most women get far more pleasure from anal, and that’s just one more reason I believe the anal only lifestyle is the right thing for everyone.

Chris: Not many people share their intimate experiences and I thought doing so might be a good way to inspire others.

It’s Sunday morning and my girlfriend and I are just chilling in bed. We have nowhere to go and all the time in the world. I start to get turned on feeling her body, especially running my hands over her hips and ass. I even rub her pussy a little and cup it with my hand, but I won’t be going there. Every day with her I think how lucky I am not to have to have vaginal sex ever again.

My girlfriend spits in her hand and starts rubbing my cock. When she’s got me wet, I get her to roll on her side away from me and I do the same with her anus. It takes less than a minute to get her slippery inside using my finger.

Spooning behind her I love looking at her back and shoulders as I guide myself into her anus. She’s relaxed and used to the penetration but the little resistance I always still get from the muscle feels great. It’s one of the best parts and we both moan every time. I ease all the way in and push up close behind her.

After waiting a few seconds to make sure we’re both comfortable I begin to pump. It’s always hard to tell how much time passes because my mind can’t concentrate on much other than how good it feels. The heat, the tightness and always her anus gripping me. I remember kissing her back and neck as I caress her waist, hips and breasts. A few times we pause to add more saliva before we continue.

My girlfriend has always been quiet during sex, except when I try and thrust extra deep or toward the end when I speed up. After a while, she starts to push back a bit with her ass. I know from what she has told me that the good feeling for her grows and slowly builds. When I hear her breathing a bit faster and deeper then I know she is happy and also knowing that we are connected in the most intimate way possible, plus the feelings of being inside her ass, push me to the edge.

My girlfriend says I can be loud when I cum, but I’m not aware of it. Every time I shoot inside her ass it feels like her whole anus and rectum squeeze my cock, almost trying to suck me inside. It was never like this before – her pussy always felt dead to me.

We lie recovering for a minute, she holds my hand and we try to kiss but it’s awkward with her facing the other way. I pull out slowly and the head of my cock catches on her anus on the way out. The feeling is as awesome as going in. The hole closes, keeping all my cum inside. Even that is better than the pussy, which couldn’t even do that properly.

My girlfriend turns and we kiss and hug for a bit. She behaves differently from how she used to be after vaginal. She’s more happy and affectionate. She’s told me before how the good feelings that built up in her ass during sex stay with her for some time after.

I wish everyone could experience this.

Chris: I’ve been thinking about something my girlfriend said once when we’d watched some anal porn. She said, “Why does anal always look so beautiful?”. I hadn’t thought about it like that, but I had to agree with her. I think she meant it in a purely physical way but there is also an internal or emotional beauty to it as well I think. The physical, because a man’s penis and a woman’s anus fit perfectly together and there is far less getting in the way. It is simpler and much more pleasing to look at. Then there is how the head pops inside and the anus closes behind it on insertion, locking it inside. It’s the same in reverse when the man is finished, having to pop back out again. The is nothing comparable with the vagina.

Seeing a couple engaged in anal sex is appealing because you know that they are having the most deep and meaningful connection possible between a man and a woman. He understands that she is wanting to stimulate him with her anus and rectum not because she wants to get pregnant but because she wants to give him the most pleasure. Likewise, she understands that he wants to cum inside her there not because of biology but because he wants something special for them both. I think, being a man, NOT having to use her vagina has a meaning all of its own. There is also a sense of relief and inner peace that transcends the orgasm itself which I know both my girlfriend and I feel, probably in our different ways. It FEELS like the right way to have sex.

Thanks for sharing, I absolutely agree — anal is objectively more beautiful than vaginal on multiple levels.

Chris: I’ve recently returned to this blog after a long absence. I honestly forgot about it for a few years, I guess because once you start living an anal-only life you just get on with living and don’t think much about how you got there. I know that’s kind of unfair as I have so much to be thankful for because of this blog. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I never would have thought of the concept of anal-only if not for this blog. I always preferred and wanted more anal but never put two and two together and took it to the next logical step. I realized that I didn’t have to be having vaginal sex again. If I’m honest I feel stupid for not thinking of it myself. It didn’t even require a huge discussion, just changing assumptions so that my girlfriend was like “Oh…you want to put it in my ass again this time? Okay…”. She never even questioned why we started having vaginal sex so rarely. It simply became routine to have anal. I think of vaginal as being like a bad habit that we kicked together.

So here I am a couple of years later with the sex life I always wanted. It is so much less complicated and stress-free compared to what we had before. Most nights now we have sex and there is something wonderful about cumming in the tight grip of her anus that never gets old. It was a sense of completeness or fulfillment that was always lacking from vaginal sex. It’s not just me saying that as my girlfriend feels the same.

All of this is a long-winded way of me saying how much this place means to me, but how saddened I am by the drop off in content. It seems the community around this is dying. And not because of lack of interest. I think it’s because places like this are so hard to find these days. If you search for “anal only” or similar terms then all you get is porn. Do you get the feeling that educational and information content is being suppressed or that entertainment is boosted in the algorithm? Does more interaction from the community boost the rankings? If so I’ll continue to try and comment on posts.

Glad to hear of your anal only success, and it’s understandable and desirable for it to be routine in a sense and move on to living a better life with pure anal. But as you said, continuing to stay engaged in the community can help with keeping things more active and inspiring others to make the same change!

I think some of the decline in community is due to that, but the loss of community-centric platforms like Tumblr affected engagement significantly. We went from tens of thousands of active followers there to much less across various platforms. The addition of the “Anal Only” porn production name diluted search results, as you noted, making it much harder to find actual discussion on anal only topics.

A combination of less people submitting content to this blog and my own reduction in availability to spend active in the community myself hasn’t helped. But the more people continue to share their experiences, ask questions, post comments, and stay engaged on here, the better for the blog community! Any other ideas are encouraged as well.

Chris: My girlfriend and I have been anal only a couple of years now thanks to the blog. It was the best thing ever stumbling on this. At first it took a lot of persuading before she agreed to try and several times she almost backed out. But the more anal we did the less of an issue she made about it until eventually, she came to accept it as the new normal. We both love it so much more now and she even laughs at how she used to find excuses not to do anal.

I’m saying this because I do believe most couples would come to the same conclusion if they don’t give up. I think it’s mostly something in a woman’s mind saying she can’t do it. When you are actually doing anal only you eventually see all the objections are just artificial barriers.

It’s good for the relationship as a whole as even she now agrees it feels nicer and I’m happier because I get the sex I prefer.

Most of the reasons people give to not go anal only are an internal mental block or cultural myths not rooted in reality. That’s why my suggestion is always for people to just go and try it for themselves for 1 or more months, without a longer term commitment up front, and see how they actually find the experience from there. The majority of women become much more amenable to staying anal only once they have 1 – 3 months experience of not using their pussy and focusing on anal exclusively, and see the benefits of doing so for themselves and that they don’t actually miss their pussy as much as they thought they would, or that they enjoy the increased arousal of doing so.

Saurav: Is it safe to have anal sex without condom if both partners are clean and monogamous. How much penis to enter the anus

It certainly is safe: if you’re comfortable having sex with each other without a condom from an STI standpoint, then you can safely have anal without a condom as well, because anal is natural birth control.

As to how deep to penetrate, that depends on the receptive partner and how comfortable they are. As deep as you both want to is fine, so long as it feels good. If going too deep becomes uncomfortable, then don’t go that deep for now, and revisit it later after more practice.

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I have been anal only for about two months now and its been going pretty good. We normally do anal about 2-3 times a week and I just give him blowjobs on the days between but recently he told me he would like to start doing anal everyday. I’m definitely open to the idea but I’m a little worried that that might not be good for my health and was hoping I could get some advice here. Is it harmful for your butt to have a small enema and anal sex everyday?

Daily anal sex, so long as your body is adjusted to the routine, is perfectly fine to do. Ultimately you have to listen to your body to determine if you’re ready for that frequency yet. Try it, and see how sustainable it is for you. You can also just work up to that over the course of several weeks, where each week you add another day a week that you do it, and you should be totally fine if you take that approach.

Deeper enemas should be avoided at high frequency, but a small flush of the rectum isn’t a problem.

I say go for it, chances are you’ll love daily anal and it will ultimately make your anal only experience that much better.

Anonymous: My GF and I have been doing anal only for a few months now and while I’m kinda ashamed to admit I think my favourite part is knowing that I get more pleasure out of it than her. She definitely enjoys it but I know she can’t cum without her clit and I also noticed that she really urges me on to cum now like she wants it to be over faster. This turns me on so much that I can’t even think about going back to vaginal sex again but more than that I’ve been kind of obsessed with the idea of her giving up her pussy completely which for her would mean giving up orgasms too. I’m scared that if I ask her about this she will think I’m a completely selfish jerk. Do you think its wrong for me to be into this and do you think I should try asking for it or just be content with what I have?

It’s not wrong to want that, but it depends what she wants too. Some women get off on the same sort of thing, and that’s fine. Whether she’ll be open to it depends on her motivation. Tell her that you being anal only really turns you on and you love it and would love for her to stop using her clit too and just get her pleasure from anal, and ask what she thinks about that. If she’s not into it, then keep things as they are. But, if she is, then explore that together.

H Suzuki: My girlfriend and I have yet to engage in any penetrative sex. In the months we’ve been together and fucking we’ve been what you could call tittyfuck only, with oral foreplay, because she has very large tits and a fetish for her tits being used like a “hole”. The hottest thing she’s ever said was the first time she asked me to “impregnate her tits”, and that’s become a regular part of our dirty talk since. Anyway, our routine is usually a blowjob, followed by me fucking her tits until I cum, and then her cleaning me off with another blowjob. Sometimes we skip the first blowjob and use oil instead so the tittyfucking is extra slippery, and sometimes I stop fucking her tits and finish directly in her mouth. So basically we live the oral only lifestyle but with the focus being tittyfucking instead of oral. Recently we’ve been talking about adding penetrative sex to the routine, and I suggested anal, thinking it’d be hot if we just skipped vaginal sex in favor of just using her tits, mouth, and ass as the sole means of sex, and she seemed receptive. Here’s hoping we can make it work. I’m curious if you’ve run into any other couples who’ve centered their sex life around a tittyfucking lifestyle and either stuck with it or branched out into adding anal?

Thanks for sharing! I’ve generally encountered couples who have been anal only but would occasionally do an oral only or titfucking only month here and there, but it makes sense that people would approach it from the other direction as well!

I think it makes a lot of sense to add anal into the mix but of course keeping things anal only and completely excluding vaginal now and always. If she’s receptive, by all means you should do it!