Anonymous: Hey, I really want to thank you for this blog. All my life I’ve had struggles with my identity and whether or not I was a real woman. I often thought of myself as different or maybe as a man and thought perhaps I was transgender, embracing that identity for a while. But the reality is that a lot of that confusion came out of being uninterested in vaginal sex and finding it a total turn off while I loved playing with my ass and then having anal sex.

After I found this blog and community I realized there are lots of women who prefer anal or who are anal only and that it doesn’t make them less of a woman and knowing that has helped me with my own identity and I am happy to say that I am proud to identify as an anal only woman now and will not use my vagina and that will not make me any less of a woman. Thank you.

I’m glad that my blog has helped you come to terms with your identity, and I hope that you find peace in embracing being an anal only woman. Whatever your gender identity, I think anal only can be enjoyed and embraced by and benefit everyone! Let’s move forward together without vaginal sex and be more equal as a result!

Anonymous: So, I’ve followed this site for a while. I’m a female. I get super turned on at the thought of vaginal abandonment and orgasm denial. However, the vaginal abandonment term is not something I hear or read about often. Wondering why that is? I’ll be discussing this with my partner and I am unsure of how he will feel about it. He comes from a fairly conservative culture. So it’s something I’ll need to bring up lightly initially. At any rate I’ve tried finding good resources such as other blogs or articles and even testimonials about specific vaginal abandonment and why it’s done. Not sure if I’m making sense. Perhaps it’s just a terminology issue and I’m missing the point. I dunno.

“Vaginal abandonment” is used interchangeably with “anal only”, and the latter is catchier and easier to use so is more common. But they generally mean the same thing. The end result is avoiding use of your vagina and having anal sex in its place.

There are lots of resources on the topic here, but outside of this community it’s less commonly discussed. If you have any other specific questions or advice wanted, feel free to ask! And let us know how it goes when you discuss it with your partner—I hope for your sake that he agrees to go anal only with you!

Cass: My boyfriend and I started doing double anal this month using a dildo while we have sex and I really really love it. It makes anal even more enjoyable and I think I’d like it to be a regular thing but I wonder how much better it is with another guy rather than just a dildo and also how it is for the guys, can it be something they want to do every time or just sometimes?

Different guys have different preferences, of course, but there are certainly women in a double anal only or frequent double anal dynamic with two men, and some men absolutely love doing it and get increased enjoyment out of the experience in addition to the woman who obviously benefits from a greater stretch and increased stimulation having two penises moving inside her ass at the same time.

Talk about it with your partner and see what he thinks, whether he likes doing it regularly with you, and whether he wants to transition to double anal only and try it with another guy as well. If he’s into the idea, great! If not, see about keeping it at least a regular part of your routine.

Cassie: Hey, I’ve been wondering lately how I can stay anal only and I wonder if you have any ideas. I’ve never had vaginal sex and I don’t want to, I love anal and being anal only because it’s what I’ve always done and I like how it feels and makes me feel and it’s natural and best for me plus I don’t get pregnant but can have sex all the time still.

But I’ve met some guys lately who have really been pushing me to do vaginal and to lose my virginity and I really don’t want to but I really like the guys too. I’d like to stay with them but do just anal. Is there a good way I can convince them that anal only is better?

Stand up for what you want. If being anal only is what you want, don’t let a guy pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do. If you want a long term anal only relationship, a guy who wants vaginal from you and doesn’t respect your desires isn’t a guy you want to be in a relationship with anyway.

All relationships have give and take, but it’s also fine to have your own needs and requirements and hard limits, and if being anal only is important to you, it’s perfectly sensible for vaginal sex to be a hard limit in your relationship. Be up front about that with partners and if they respect it, great! If not, there are many other men out there, some of whom will share your same desires and love that you want to be anal only!

Max: I receive anal only because it’s the only way that I really enjoy sex, but I like women. Do you think that there are women willing to have a relationship with someone like me? I have no problems with my singleness, it’s just a question. Obviously there are many ways and tools to satisfy a woman, I would have no problem doing what she needs and want, except my cock hehe. It would be give and take…

There are all sorts of women out there who like many different things, and I have no doubt that there are women who would enjoy being with a partner who doesn’t want to use his penis to penetrate her and would like to instead focus on penetrating him. It may be a less common niche, but I’m sure that if you look in the right places and are open about your needs, you’ll find the right person.

Anonymous: I am glad to inform you that today I reached an agreement with my GF: we are going from anal mostly to AO!! She is worrying that pussy orgasms are needed for the good health and hormonal balance of a young woman. Well, medicine is not my cup of tea hence I am not gonna judge the scientific basis of what she thinks. I anyway accommodate her concerns offering her the possibility to cum with pussy only out of her lesbo fantasies, while what concerns us both has to go anal only

Congratulations, it sounds like it will be a very rewarding arrangement for the both of you. I think you’ll find that a number of anal only women may still involve some clitoral stimulation with other women even if not with men. Others decide over time that it’s worth going pure anal only even when with men, and keeping things focused on anal penetration and rimming. Perhaps in time she’ll decide that as well.

Anonymous: What are your thoughts on “vaginal sex just on her birthdays”—that is, not being AO once per year?

Everyone can interpret the anal only lifestyle in different ways and make it work for them how they want, but personally I’m advocate for the purity of true anal only, and committing to a better life without vaginal sex and not going back to it.

That said, some anal only women have tried vaginal again after a year or two of anal only and found that it further strengthened their commitment to being anal only because in contrast with the intensity and passion of anal they found vaginal to be boring or downright unpleasant when trying it again. So there may be advantages to trying it at times—not as a treat, though.

Anonymous: My husband (34M) and I (29F) have been in a relationship for 10 years, married for 2. I’ve been attracted to anal since a teenager (the first time I masturbated was anally), but my husband is a pretty vanilla kind of guy, so it took a while to convince him to fuck my ass. That was some 6 years ago I think. Since then we’ve been having some anal occasionally (definitely much less than once every 2 months) and it’s always been me initiating.

Anyways, in April we got pregnant after a very long spell of no anal to achieve conception and my doctor forbade vaginal sex due to some complications. Oral was also out of the question for me (and still is) due to extreme all-day sickness that sent my gag reflex into overdrive. As a result, we’ve been sex free for 3 months and now that my all-day sickness is going away, my husband finally proposed by himself that he fuck my ass!

So we had a talk and told him that I’d gladly have regular anal sex with him, as many times a week as he wants. It’s been a week since then and he’s fucked my ass every other day, completely ignoring my pussy. He won’t even touch my clit, which I find extremely hot (so I stopped touching it as well, hoping to achieve pure anal orgasms). He just lubes his cock and goes straight for my ass. It’s like my pussy doesn’t even exist for him now! It honestly feels like I’m living the dream!

I hope those anal only months will tip the scales and make him want more of it after the pregnancy is over, although I won’t even dream that he’ll want to stay anal only. I know he loves my pussy too much.

I never expected that getting pregnant would make my anal only sex fantasy come true!

Congratulations! That’s wonderful that you’re living your anal only dream finally and that it seems he’s happy with the arrangement as well and is committed to ignoring your pussy and clit entirely at least in the moment. You must be loving it, and I hope that you update us with more details on how things are progressing since you first shared this.

Make sure to let him know regularly how much you love him in your ass and how happy you are to be his anal only wife and he may very well be happy to keep ignoring your pussy and keep you purely anal only even after the pregnancy is over. It would be a shame to waste such a wonderful streak that you both enjoyed just because it’s technically possible to return to vaginal despite anal being better for you both. Maybe help him to also see that just because he loves your pussy doesn’t mean he has to fuck it, and not fucking it and using your ass instead can be a stronger sign of love.

miceandorratz: Hi! Know you’re on hiatus so feel free to answer whenever.

I found this blog a while ago and when I found out about No Pussy November I got really excited to finally start exploring anal stuff, especially now that I have friends (and probably more importantly the finances) to support me.

I’m not exactly sure what to do to start, though? I know November is a while’s off when I send this ask, but if I wanna buy any sex toys for the month I wanna do it beforehand. There’s no “anal training regimine” out there (I get it’s because I should go at the pace I feel comfortable with, but I wish there was something out there giving me a little more direction) so I’m not sure if I should get an anal training kit or just a lotta lube or what. Even between anal training kits I’m not sure what material to get it made outta!!

If you have any advice on what to do I’d appreciate it, all I really know that silicone lube is the preferred anal lube iirc. Any idea on if and what sex toys to bother with, general idea of how long to play with yourself, etc would be really appreciated. I don’t even have preference on price I’d just appreciate some direction.

Thanks for reading, hope things get easier for you! I’ve admired this blog for a while and stuff.

Glad to hear that you’re interested in anal and trying No Pussy November!

I suggest starting with lube and fingers and then getting a butt plug and dildo to try further from there. If you haven’t read our Guide, give it a look—it has a lot of advice on these topics.

Ultimately, though, the motivation and desire to get started is more important than exactly what you use. Most things will work, some better than others, and sticking with it and working on training your ass and ignoring your pussy are what will bring you success in the anal only lifestyle above all else.

Maria: Hi, i’m Maria, independent woman, 32y old. Just wanted share my opinion why anal was the first and only option for me. Firstly oral sex is something that is not really appealing for me, first when you have oral its not a mutual experience at the same time, one is giver another is receiver. I never liked the idea of oral, so never considered having it. Ok so what’s next? Vaginal, as a women who wants to stay single independent and without family is it the most appealing sort of sex? Not for me, i see to many problems with it. Birth control, condoms, menstruation cycle etc, first time pain and bleeding. Too much to think and worry about, what should be source of joy. So whats left? Right. Anal. While having anal sex, it’s mutual exercise which brings joy to both partners at the same time and you don’t have to care about all the stuff that i mentioned about vaginal sex. Pure freedom. I’ve never tried oral or vaginal and i doubt I will ever try.

Great reasoning for why anal is the best form of sex and vaginal in particular interferes with the purity of anal pleasure and its benefits. Oral sex can be an enjoyable addition to anal, however, and can compliment it, not necessarily as an independent act but as something supplemental. Analingus can provide relaxation and warmup before anal sex, and fellatio during and after can provide additional lubrication, arousal and cleanup for anal. Cunnilingus doesn’t need to be a part of an anal only life and often detracts from it.