Hi there.

While not anal only my dominant partner controls my sexual experience including when and how I orgasm. Generally speaking he does not allow me to orgasm often – in fact I have only been granted five orgasms in seven months!

He recently told me tho that I may cum freely from anal masturbation. I have been enjoying my effort. It feels fabulous to fuck my ass with my fingers and my dildo. When I do do my pussy gets so wet – it almost continuously flows with periodic spurts that feel great. I usually stop only because I feel overwhelmed or exhausted but not because I really feel done or sated.

Now I don’t think of what is happening as an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like an orgasm. It feels good. Sublime. And it does relieve pressure. But I’ve been comparing it more to a man getting his prostate milked than to an orgasm.

Reading your blog tho I see you often refer to anal orgasms as feeling different, leaving the woman still feeling aroused rather than sated. So my question to you is what I’m having an anal orgasm and because it is so different from a clit or pussy orgasm that I’m just not recognizing it as such? Or do others also experience the same mind boggling non orgasm milking that I’m describing and do they distinguish it from an anal orgasm?

Thank you!
DS Quean

Hi!

While different people have different experiences, anal orgasms do generally still act as a climax with strong muscle contractions, etc. While they often won’t eliminate your arousal in the same way a clitoral orgasm might, they can reduce it somewhat and you can still feel satisfied afterwards often even though you might want to keep going. (For some women, the opposite might be true and an anal orgasm can be more like a ruined orgasm instead, but that seems less common.)

I’ve heard the comparison between clitoral and anal orgasms as the difference between an orgasm concentrated right in the clit and a full body orgasm.

I suspect that while you might be experiencing a state that could lead to orgasm, your comparison to prostate milking might be more accurate—very pleasurable, but not a climax.

I welcome other people’s opinions on this as well, however!

One of the more subtle but powerful effects of anal sex in general and the anal only lifestyle is the amplifying effects that it can have on arousal. For someone with an already powerful sex drive, this can be quite the intense increase, while for someone who might struggle with arousal or has a partner with a higher libido than they do, it can be an incredible gamechanger and help.

Anal Can Be Very Exciting

While anal sex is becoming increasingly popular and common, it’s still generally less common than vaginal sex, and so anal play and sex can be quite exciting and that excitement often translates into increased arousal about having and during anal sex.

However, it’s not only limited to those who are just getting started with anal. Anal only couples very frequently report an increase of arousal or desire that continues many years into their anal only relationship, and while it’s quite common for sex to become stagnant and vaginal to become boring, anal is far more likely to remain exciting and arousing for everyone.

Anal Stimulation is Arousing

The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings that make it one of the most sensitive sexual centers in the human body, and the rectum is in close proximity to other pleasure centers in a way that anal penetration easily stimulates, so it’s no surprise that anal stimulation and penetration not only feels really good, it can have an intense effect on arousal as well. Women who engage in anal sex frequently talk about how horny it makes them, and as they gain more experience, especially when shifting away from vaginal sex or clitoral stimulation to focus exclusively on anal, develop an anal arousal they can feel in their ass, and a craving for more anal sex.

The Effects of Anal Orgasms on Arousal

It’s pretty commonly known that vaginal and clitoral orgasms often result in a loss of arousal afterwards, with women losing interest in sex and even feeling bad or regretful or depressed afterwards. This unfortunate effect can result in an overall decrease in libido for some, but generally just puts an end to the fun for a while and makes people not feel very good about themselves. It’s also led to a growing interest in orgasm denial and edging for many women, which can provide pleasure and arousal without the negative side effects.

With anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, however, come the possibility of anal orgasms, which can be intensely pleasurable—often more so than vaginal or clitoral orgasms—but also for most women do not result in a loss of arousal afterwards. Women still feel great, and sexual, and horny, and happy post-orgasm, and can continue for more if they want, or just stay in that happy arousal-filled state of mind, put a plug in, and continue with their day. It’s a great sex-positive way to be, that fills one’s entire life with a state of sexuality and pleasure rather than only some occasional period of time.

So if arousal or loss of arousal post-orgasm has been an issue for you, continue the anal only lifestyle and pursuing pure anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation, and you’ll likely have a much more positive and enjoyable experience!

With orgasm denial and edging play a popular practice for many people, some wonder how to effectively put edging into practice while living the anal only lifestyle, and as much as being anal only appeals to them, the exclusion of clit stimulation makes continued edging for them to be difficult to implement.

Firstly, always remember that you can absolutely be anal only while continuing to use clit stimulation as needed, especially if only using it to edge and build up your arousal for anal. “Anal only” refers to excluding vaginal penetration, and any other variations beyond that are optional and highly variable based on personal preference.

However, if you are committed to excluding clit stimulation entirely, you can still edge with just anal stimulation, even if you don’t know how to orgasm from it yet. It can be a somewhat different experience, and you may need to adjust your expectations a little bit, and start out just by telling yourself that what you’re doing really is edging, but the more you do it, the more it will completely fill whatever role clit edging did for you in the past.

Putting your clit as far from your mind as you can, just start out by gently rubbing and fingering your anus until you’re totally warmed up and relaxed, and then start probing with a finger or a toy in order to find the most pleasurable spot to focus on and start building the pleasure by doing this, but without letting yourself get to orgasm. Any time your clit calls out for attention, focus on your ass even more instead, and as your arousal builds over time and between sessions, answer the call of your clit by fingering and fucking your ass instead.

The more you experiment with this, the more you’ll learn just how satisfyingly unsatisfying it can be in just the way you crave from edging, and you’ll find that you don’t need your clit at all, even to edge yourself or build your arousal—your asshole can be your source of arousal instead.

say-no-to-the-o:

3 November, 2018
From @littlehumpybunny (Say No To The O Member and Sister in Denial)

From today onwards I, @littlehumpybunny, swear that I for at least one week will be participating in “No Pussy November, which means the following

1. I must play with my ass until I edge at least once a day.
2. I may not touch my clit unless I am also playing with my ass.
3. Toys may only be used on or in my ass.
4. That I must have my plug in at least an hour a day.
5. That if by the end of the week on Nov. 10th if I feel good about the week I will swear to my aforementioned statement for another week so on and so on until “No Pussy November” is over.

If I don’t follow these rules, the only way I’m allowed to edge for the rest of the week is by humping with clothespins on my pussy lips.

________________________________________

Sleep well, @littlehumpybunny. The arousal will likely kill you in the morning (fingers crossed). You friends at Say No To The O Member

Read more about @littlehumpybunny HERE.

debaucherycat: Yep. I spend a full month without touching my pussy. And it’s been a loooong month for me. Worst of all – this denial is not over yet.

But first things first. Did I enjoy it? Immensely. I was obscenely horny for days on end. There were moments when I was not in the mood. But those were few, and I guess that was mostly influenced by hormones.

We had way more sex than before. And I don’t mean a bit more, but twice or trice more. We talked a lot. We shared fantasies and made them come true. Well, some of them, that is. Others are either too complicated or too dirty. For now. I’ve got fucked hard and wild in all the best ways. And I didn’t get a single orgasm.

It did things to me. To my mind. And body. I’ve never been this submissive. Not ever in my life. I’ve never even imagined that the idea of devoting all my sex life to someone else’s pleasure could seem so hot for me. It does now. I can’t stop thinking about being made to serve as a mere fucktoy for the rest of my life. If that’s not fucked up, I don’t know what is.

The only way I am allowed to stimulate myself now is by playing with my ass and nipples. I did a lot of that. I’d watch some porn, then stand in front of the mirror, my pants pushed down and shirt up, rubbing my nipples and pushing fingers into my dirty hole. Ah, the humiliation of it… And the feeling of hot pulse in the drippy denied pussy…

Do I miss touching? Desperately so. Most of all, I miss His tongue on my clit. I’d give almost anything for it by now.

Will I go back to the previous routine of daily edging and weekly orgasms? Not likely. At least, I hope He will not allow me to. I enjoy not having control over my pleasure way too much. And, I dare say, he enjoys me like this even more. I’m going to ask for a single change, though. I want Him to touch my pussy again. For as much and as often as He decides. And in a way He decides.

So, wish me luck. It is a difficult journey, fucking myself up like that.

hitmemister: My boyfriend and I are turning over a new stone. Up until now he hadn’t been much interested in orgasm denial but he’s extremely interested in giving me what I need lately and I am grateful.

So here’s to another denial period, guided by my partner this time and not just by myself. So, it should be a lot longer and more difficult this time because I am accountable to the one I love.

Also told him about my need to be anal only and my cuckquean fantasies. I’m apprehensive, nervous, and scared but I know he 100% listens to me as I do him.

Currently have a plug in my ass, and I’m going to start edging. ? Wish me luck!

Asks and replies of encouragement are appreciated. ❤️

Hi, it’s the girl you tagged 20180705 again. Nearly one month after my latest ask, I thought it was time to give you some feedback. We’re still anal only, my boyfriend is very happy, and he’s getting me more involved into the lifestyle: he gifted me some backless panties and a jewel butt plug to wear, and sometimes he talks about us getting tattoos. Our sex life really changed: before it was mostly routine with mediocre length, now it’s much more frequent and either longer or much shorter.

Actually, he does a lot of quickies now, which he never did before: mostly before we have to go outside or before friends come over, he directly fucks my ass with both of us barely undressed and little foreplay, then plugs me. It doesn’t affect the frequency of longer sessions, so I don’t mind and it actually turns me on. In fact, my view on sex has changed completely: before, it was just something that happened once in a while, and I otherwise didn’t think about it all that much.

Now, I’m sort of obsessed with it. Wearing very often the butt plug and backless panties play a role, of course, but sex is always on my mind anyway. It probably changes how I behave and dress: at work or with friends, I get a lot of “you’re very sexy today” that I didn’t get before. I guess it’s all related to the fact I just can’t cum anally yet: at every intercourse, I feel I’m very very close, but it just never happens. The strangest thing is, I’m not frustrated any more, I’m sort of hooked.

It’s like I’m flooded with hormones that make me horny, and I became addicted to the sensation itself. It’s weird and I don’t know if I make myself clear. I thought a lot about what you said, that there’s nothing wrong with submission so long as it’s my choice, and that acting like my boyfriend wants me to act “retrains” my brain and what I enjoy, to eventually cause pleasure and a refocus on other areas.

You’re basically one of the only persons I talk to about this, since I wanted my boyfriend to be 100% comfortable with it and think I was 100% OK with being anal only, without any doubt. My gay friend talked about what I said to him to his husband, who apparently talked about it to my boyfriend: we spent an evening at their place, and to my surprise the subject naturally came during conversation, and was talked about all evening in embarrassing details.

I was sort of mortified (and my friend too, since we’re both the “receivers”), but my boyfriend seemed to really love openly talking about it, and it was sort of fun and instructive. I admit it also turned me on to some extent.

I guess my main problem is the sensation of losing control, and not knowing where this is all heading. I don’t know if I can keep up with not orgasming at all, but I really dislike the idea of using clitoris stimulation in his presence, and I don’t want to come in secret.

Thanks for the update! It sounds like you’ve really settled into the anal only lifestyle very well as well as successfully incorporated clitoral and orgasm denial into your personal routine.

While it can certainly be a challenge at first for most people to start orgasm denial, because orgasms are a very powerful addiction, it’s not at all uncommon for people to discover with time just how much they enjoy an ongoing state of arousal and its associated pleasures far more than the short burst of pleasure from an orgasm.

That said, there’s nothing wrong with orgasms either for those who enjoy and want them, and with more time you may discover the ability to orgasm from anal as well.

bublgum-bitch: umm i want my pussy to be ignored and to be only fucked in the ass and kept on edge without cumming at all times ????

debaucherycat: One week done. Another already started. I kept my hands well away from my pussy and didn’t get to cum on Saturday. It was surprisingly easy and pleasant. My ass and mouth got fucked. And my tits got a lot of attention.

I’m horny and easily excitable but not desperate yet. And I love it. I’ve got cautioned that prolonged no touch can just become dull. It didn’t. Whenever I think of being constantly denied anal fucktoy, it drives me crazy. It takes a thought alone to turn me into horny slut with a wet crotch.

Did I say I love it? I do.

Best of all (or is it worst?), I found courage to ask Him to stop bothering with my orgasms for good. And he agreed to try it out. After I promised to earn it. Isn’t that a lovely mindfuck?

I want to give my thanks for all, who shared my post and sent me messages. You are the best! And also thanks to everyone who simply liked. I appreciate it a lot.

I’m going to write about my progress once in a while. I hope you will stay with me on this journey.

abundanciadeporno: I woke up horny this morning. I haven’t got a Dom or anyone to really help take care of this problem, so I started to masturbate a bit in the shower when it occurred to me… this isn’t a problem. If I deny myself and stay horny, I can do orgasm denial on my own. I could use an orgasm as a prize for myself for something far off in the future, like getting a scientific paper published or… passing my dissertation proposal. I can use my horny sexual energy and channel it into other things. Positive reinforcement, right? I can make it… let’s say 30 days to start. I’ll work my way up to 100.

So instead of finishing myself off in the shower, I put my buttplug in instead. It’s about 4 inches long, not very wide, but shaped for all-day wear. And I’ve done all-day wear on this one before, so no big deal right? It’s been a while, but… what the hell. Let’s give it a shot. It’ll keep me soaking wet all day.

So I get to work. I’m a graduate student, and it’s summer, so the lab is a little bit deserted right now. I’m the only one in all day, and I’m working from a personal computer that’s not hooked up to the university wifi… so of course the first thing I do is pull up tumblr. And I’m looking at all the anal-only porn I follow, all the orgasm denial porn, all the bondage and kinky shit… and I can feel my panties soaking through already. It’s 9am.

Around 11am, I’ve taken a break from looking at porn to writing it instead. I’ve got a little smut I’m writing for myself, and it’s making me ridiculously horny. I decide something needs to be done. I text my fuckbuddy who works on campus too. He’s cute and pretty well hung but doesn’t really do D/s so not a candidate for long-term companionship.

“Hey, do you want to come down to my lab and fuck my ass? Don’t let me cum, no matter how much I beg”

“Uh, fuck yeah. Be right there.”

Five minutes later, I’m on my knees taking his cock down my throat in my office. I love sucking cock- I could do it for hours, but that’s not what he’s here for. When I decide I’m done sucking him off, I give him a good coat of lube then bend over my desk. He shoves his thick cock in my ass and wraps his hand around my throat. I’m immediately fighting not to cum, riding the edge with all I’ve got, letting him pound my ass as hard as he can. After about 20 minutes, his hand tightens around my throat when he cums. I almost lose it. I can feel his cock throbbing in my ass, filling me up with his load, and then he pulls out. I pop the buttplug back in and show him to the bathroom so he can clean off, and then he’s gone.

I spend the rest of the afternoon dripping cum from my ass and feeling my pussy just getting wetter and wetter.

When I finally get home, a friend has stopped by to say hi and let themselves into my house. I’m dying to masturbate, but I know this is for the best. I’d just let myself cum, and I don’t want that. I haven’t decided what my punishment will be if I let myself cum before 30 days, but I know it won’t be good.

Finally, at midnight, my friend has left, and I’ve got the house to myself. The moment the door shuts behind them, I’m running to my bedroom to masturbate. I pull out clothes pins, my favorite 9in dildo, some oral anesthetic cream, my magic wand, and lube. Clothes pins firmly on my nipples (and pinching nicely against my piercings), I start to run the oral anesthetic cream on my clit. I’ve never really used it for this before, so I use just a little bit and rub it in really well. Within seconds, I can’t feel my finger on my clit anymore. I give it a good flick, and nothing. A hard smack? Still nothing. AWESOME.

I lay on my back and plunge the lubed-up dildo into my ass. It’s SO much bigger than the plug, but it feels like heaven as it stretches me out. I start working away, fucking myself HARD when I decide it’s time to up the ante. I switch the magic wand on and press it against my numb clit. I can feel it vibrate around my clit and on my labia, but it’s like someone is holding a pillow up against it. I crank it up to full blast (this can normally make me cum in SECONDS) and still feel nothing. Laughing, I keep fucking my ass with the dildo and pressing the wand up against me. I know if I hadn’t numbed my clit I’d be cumming like a freight train right now. I can feel the edge building up, but it just can’t go any farther. I fuck harder, I rub the magic wand against my clit in the way I know would normally set me over the edge… and I back off.

I breathe for a few minutes, let my heart rate get back to normal… then another coat of lube on the dildo and I’m back in the saddle. I edge again, and again, each time more painfully aware of how close the orgasm feels and how impossible it is to reach it.

As I’m catching my breath from my last edge, my phone buzzes. It’s 12:30, but there’s a text from my fuckbuddy. He’s near my apartment complex and wants to know if I want another round?

Fuck yes I do. I’m exhausted and sore but my pussy is still dripping wet. I rinse off real quick and reapply the oral anesthetic. Right as I’m laying back down in bed to wait for him, he walks into my bedroom. Immediately I’m ass-up and face-down, enticing him into my bed. Like a flash, his pants are off, he’s lubed up, and his hard dick is plunging into me again. His hands are all over me, squeezing my nipples hard and pulling on the piercings there. Then one is on my throat again while one rubs my clit. Feeling another edge and knowing I can’t cum, I gasp out that I used numbing cream. He pinches my clit hard. When I feel nothing, he flips me over from doggy into a sort of modified missionary, slapping my clit hard while he fucks my ass. He pulls on the piercing, flicks it, but I don’t feel anything. Usually any of these things would make me cum immediately, but right now they’re just making the edge hold longer and longer while he fucks my ass even harder. He plunges his fingers into my sopping wet pussy and then puts them in my mouth, telling me to suck it off. As I wrap my lips around his fingers and taste my desperation on them, he groans and fills my ass with his hot cum for the second time today.

He pulls out and I feel his cum dripping out of me. Roughly flipping me over onto my belly and lifting my ass, he grabs the plug from the nightstand, lubes it up, and sticks it back in my ass for me.

“Whatever you’re doing with this anal and anesthetic cream, it’s making you an insatiable sex-fiend… Let me know if you want to go again tomorrow.”

Writing this, I can feel my wet swollen pussy throb with need even as my clit is on fire from the abuse it took… My ass feels so well-used and sore, but I know it’ll be taking a beating again tomorrow one way or another.

Here’s to Day 1 of my personal Orgasm Denial Challenge.