Category: Vaginal Virginity

Anal sex has long been used as an alternative to preserve one’s vaginal virginity, but as that becomes culturally less important for people, vaginal virginity is becoming a matter of choice and preference instead, with women learning they prefer anal early on and deciding to go with anal as their default from the beginning and never bother with vaginal.


Message: Telling a Guy I Want to Lose My Virginity to Anal Only

This message was sent to the Anal Only Bdsmlr porn blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: Starting out my sex life, if one would like to really be anal only. You think it would be creepy for a young girl to ask a boy for anal the first time? Or exlpain she only wants to do it if it’s anally? Just being aware that it’s not common enough yet, but really wanted to keep it anal only

Not at all. If anal only is what you want, tell that to someone if you’re going to have sex with them. If they don’t respect that, then you shouldn’t be having sex with them anyway.

Now, you may not want to just say it right away if you just met them. Get to know them, and when you’re ready to have sex, bring it up and start talking about it.

Tell him that you want to be anal only and not do vaginal sex, and chances are he’ll love it.

Message: Vaginal Virginity Perspective

Kame: Hi, I’ve read your post about why vaginal virginity will become a norm. I think, you are more or less correct. I come from traditional Asian country where virginity is still important, but other hand we live modern lives, that makes the conflict with traditional values imminent. I think anal sex solves the problem here and is compatible with both worlds and it’s getting more popular. I think traditional values in many countries are promoting spread of only anal sex before marriage between youth.

Most definitely, that trend has been taking place for a while and will continue to shift in the direction of anal only with vaginal virginity. And as more people practice an anal only lifestyle as their primary introduction to sex, the more common it will seem to everyone and even more will be inspired to do it. And those who start with anal tend to quickly come to expect the increased intensity and pleasure of anal, to the point that even if they later lose their vaginal virginity, they always much prefer anal.

Message: I Hate Having A Vagina

Anonymous: Ive been an anal only girl my whole life. I desire anal so much and it’s great. However, there were times I wish I have a penis instead of vagina since vaginal gross me out and make me feel wrong, I ignore my vagina and refuse to play with it. I’m a girl, it’s just that it would be better if I was born with a penis (that doesn’t mean I want to be a male)

I know there are other women out there who dislike their vaginas or having a vagina and wish they didn’t, so you aren’t alone in that. But I’d encourage you to just channel that into your love for anal and the anal only lifestyle. You don’t need to use your vagina, so just enjoy being anal only and live your life vagina-free.

A lot of anal only guys love the idea of women who have vaginas but don’t want to use them, and don’t. So if it helps you at all, you can try to think of the idea of being anal only and having an unused vagina that’s always going to stay that way as something sexy and enjoyable.

Message: Anal Only Because of You

Anonymous: I just wanted you to know that I’m anal only because of you and I thought you’d want to hear that. I’ve been reading your blogs for years before I had sex and I started to masturbate my ass based on your advice and learned to ignore my pussy, and it did feel really good, and the idea of going anal only and staying a virgin in my pussy started to really turn me on. So that’s pretty much exactly what I did and I’ve still never had vaginal sex and I think it’s really hot, and so does my boyfriend. We’ve decided we’re never going to use my pussy.

Thanks for sharing, I always love hearing from people who I’ve helped inspire to go anal only, and even better if you’ve decided to stay a vaginal virgin and live a life of pure anal. I wish you the best and hope that you’re always able to stay that way!

Why Vaginal Virginity Will Become the Norm

While currently, most people who practice the anal only lifestyle get into it after trying both anal and vaginal and deciding they want to settle on anal and move away from vaginal, it’s highly likely that in the future the majority of people will skip vaginal entirely and go straight to anal only, remaining vaginal virgins.

  • The old norm of getting married and having kids young and diving right into making a family is falling to the wayside as economic struggles are hitting younger generations hard and making it nearly impossible for many to support a family, as well as a shift to women wanting to live their own life rather than growing up only to be immediately responsible for someone else for the next 18 years. Anal is natural birth control, and far more enjoyable than vaginal when done right, so it makes sense to stay a vaginal virgin until ready to have kids.
  • Sexual awakening and openness is leading to a desire for mutual enjoyment rather than sex being focused more on male pleasure, and anal provides that more intense pleasure for women. Some women are deciding that it’s not even worth wasting any time at all on vaginal when they want to master anal pleasure instead, since it provides them with far more.
  • Most guys prefer anal, and are happy to go straight to anal, which in turn encourages women to do the same.

Whatever the reasons, it’s a trend we’re already starting to see begin, and it’s only going to continue to grow from here. If you’re an anal only vaginal virgin or considering going that route, please share your perspective with us!

Forum: Approaching the Topic of Anal Only With a New Relationship

An Anal Only Lifestyle forum member with MRKH, a developmental disorder results in the vaginal not fully forming and thus being impossible to have vaginal sex, posts an update asking for advice about telling a new boyfriend that she can only have anal sex.

I’m very new to dating. But I met someone back around Halloween. And we have gone on a couple of dates. We’re both students of our schedules don’t know what is Meetup the best, but I haven’t been seeing anyone else another as a as far as I know. He knows that I am a virgin. And finding a college guy that’s not slightly terrified of that fact is actually an impressive feat, but I don’t know how to go about bringing up the subject of wanting to have anal sex with him. It’s the only kind of sex I can have , outside of oral ofcourse. I just don’t know how to approach the situation. I don’t know if I need to tell him now about my personal situation, if I wait, if I just pretend that it’s not a big deal…

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle

Forum: Can’t Have Vaginal but Curious of Anal

I have a disease that makes it painful to have vaginal penetration and so I haven’t had sexual intercourse or an orgasm. To be honest I don’t really have that much of a sex drive at all. But I’ve heard that you actually can have an orgasm from anal sex and so I got curious. I’ve tried it on myself and my sex drive has gone up somewhat (now I actually fantasize about sex) but I can’t seem to get an orgasm or really get horny by it.

How long does it usually take before you can have an orgasm or enjoy it. How does guys usually respond to girls that only have anal sex, it seems quite taboo.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Message: Trans Vaginal Virgin

Liza: Hi! Wanted to thank you so much for this blog and spreading anal only awareness <3! I’m a trans woman who had never lost my penile virginity, and me and my bf discussed continuing that after I get Sexual Reassignment Surgery. I’m really into the idea, and totally recommend other trans women into anal consider it! (Do remember to dilate though!)

Thanks for the message!

I think that’s a great idea, and really encourage it if it appeals to you. It makes perfect sense, really—if being anal only is something that you’ve always been and really identify with, why would you want to change that after getting a vagina?

Something that several other anal only trans women have brought up in the past is the idea of having SRS with a decorative vulva created, but not actually focusing on full functional construction with an actual vaginal canal. I don’t know whether this is something anyone has actually done, or whether it’s something surgeons will do, but it’s an interesting idea as well for those who are really committed to the idea of anal only and aren’t overly concerned about a fully functional vagina.

Whatever the goal in that regard, I recommend anal only for everyone interested!

Message: Introducing a Girl to Anal Sex

Anonymous: I’m a young guy who’s always been exclusively into anal sex: I discovered sex through porn, and vaginal and clitoral action became major turn-offs very quickly for me. I never did vaginal nor touched a clit, and I want it to stay that way.

So far, I met all my partners through online dating sites, making extremely clear I’m into strict anal only (I can’t even stand it if a woman touches her clit during sex). I’m athletic, good looking and well endowed, and I’m open to different types of women provided they’re anal only, so I never had trouble getting laid so far.

At college, there’s this younger girl who’s very much into me, and who made very clear she’d like me to take her virginity and “teach her” how to fuck. She’s smart, funny, very hot, but she doesn’t know I’m anal only. We sort of kissed and messed around (no sex), and she seems to be quite submissive when hot.

On one hand, I really want to fuck her and “train” her, educate her into strict anal sex, and date her in the long term. I’m pretty sure she won’t freak out when I tell her I’m anal only (I touched her there through her clothes while she fondled my cock through my jeans, and she seemed to like it, she didn’t mind her crotch being left untouched). Her being a complete virgin makes me REALLY hot.

On the other hand, I never introduced a girl to anal sex, I always dated experienced women who knew what they wanted, so I’m uncertain what to do (I’m thinking about foreplay and licking and fingering her asshole gently for a start). And I sort of feel responsible for her, so even though the idea to get her into strict anal sex is incredibly hot to me, I’m wondering if her first sexual experience shouldn’t be more “standard”.

Thank you for your blog, which I knew from tumblr, and thanks in advance for your reply.

I encourage introducing her to it, provided she’s into the idea and willing to try. Talk with her about it, and be open about your needs and desires, so she knows up front what you expect from a partner and is fully informed going into it.

If she is willing, be sure to take it slow with her and really ease her into it while making sure to focus on her enjoyment and pleasure. Get her to love and crave it, and your pleasure will join hers soon enough.

As for a concern about her being introduced to anal first vs. vaginal, there are plenty of women who start with anal and stick with it for a long time before even trying vaginal, and there’s been a growing trend among younger women to go straight to anal only for a variety of reasons, which I encourage and think is a good thing, so I see no issue with starting her right out with anal only if she’s interested in trying it.

But, communicate and make it something that you explore together as partners, if you do go down that route. Good luck!

Message: Want to Love Anal and Stay Vaginal Virgin

Jade: Hi, i never had a man in my life but i want to remain vaginally virgin. I bought a dildo 2 weeks ago to train me anally.

I kinda like it but i’m nowhere near to take true pleasure. Can you give me some advices?

That’s an excellent goal, I highly recommend staying a vaginal virgin and going anal only.

First of all, be patient. If you’ve just started exploring anal two weeks ago, you’re just getting started. Stick with it, and keep practicing and training regularly—every day, if you can. The more you make it your normal routine, the more quickly it will start to become very pleasurable and something you not only enjoy, but start to crave.

How do you ordinarily masturbate and orgasm? Does it involve vaginal penetration, or just clit stimulation? Especially while you’re getting started with anal, including clit stimulation if that’s what you already enjoy is not a bad thing—do it as often as possible, in fact, and try to give yourself as many orgasms as you can while masturbating anally. This helps to build up the association of anal and pleasure and unlocks the pleasures of anal. If, after you start to really enjoy anal on its own, you want to shift away from clit stimulation as well and only focus on anal pleasure, you can do that, but when getting started, combining anal with things you already like can be a good approach.

If your goal from the start is achieving an anal only orgasm, you can look at some of the strategies in our Guide to Anal Orgasms. Also be sure to read through the rest of the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle for lots of other useful information.

Good luck, and feel free to follow up with more questions!